FabSwingers.com forum: punch above your weight

By *rs.nordsman OP Couple
over a year ago

middlesex

Do you sometimes not to message a profile because you feel that you are not what they are looking for? Or try your chance anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try...I've been surprised to with the response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you sometimes not to message a profile because you feel that you are not what they are looking for? Or try your chance anyway?"

Such is the way of all too many women on here, I have my doubts they'll reply even when, at least in accordance with what they've written, I AM what they looking for.

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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago

walsall

Yes I feel that I like I thinking I'm punching above my weight with you xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we would never message a profile if we weren't what they were looking for but if we like the look of them and have similar interests we would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing ventured nothing gained. A profile is not the be all and end all of a person. Face to face meeting beats it hands down and unless you make contact how can you meet?

Just don't lie be rude or too off what they ask for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I attract a lot of attention off some very attractive guys on here. I sometimes think they're taking the piss, and should be looking for someone slimmer, prettier etc.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Only if it's absolutely clear from their profile that I am not what they are looking for. Nothing ventured and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often feel like this.

When I wasn't hidden I'd often get messages from men way out of my league who I know wouldn't have looked twice at me in other situations. I'd never reply and wasn't flattered by it..

Likewise if someone has verifications from women more attractive or completely different to me I'd think I'm not what they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do, you got nothing to lose and you can see where it could lead to, at the end of the day its sex we are all on here for, just enjoying it with all different types.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I attract a lot of attention off some very attractive guys on here. I sometimes think they're taking the piss, and should be looking for someone slimmer, prettier etc."

Same, but it's the nature of the site I reckon

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By *rs.nordsman OP Couple
over a year ago

middlesex

"we would never message a profile if we weren't what they were looking for but if we like the look of them and have similar interests we would. "

It is actually not what they are not looking for but how you feel. If you feel that you are not what they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta be honest , don't think we have ever ever contacted anyone on fab to look for a meet .

We reply to those we are attracted to , some that may for all intents and purposes be out of our league . At least some may think so anyway , but we meet them anyway , and guess what ? No matter how hot others may seem , we are all the same underneath , and there really aren't any leagues .

What is this punching above your weight malarkey ?

If someone thinks they are better than you they aren't worth meeting are they ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time.... I'm a fairly good looking guy but I don't think I'm many people's cup of tea so I don't message many.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

If I punched above my weight Id be contacting a sumo wrestler

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester

Punching above my weight!?

Well as my weight is higher than it should be Im facing an uphill struggle!

More motivation for the diet I suppose!

I'd like to think this site is more about shared interests and personality as much as pure looks. But in reality its takes all sorts and that describes membership very well!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I rarely message guys for meets, but when I do I never think 'hmmm, too good looking. Not for me!'. If I'm not what they're looking for then they'll not reply and I'll move on.

I have met some guys I never would have thought would fancy me. If its only because they need a shag and I'll do, who am I to complain?

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

Sometimes you've got to be a little bit cheeky....albeit with humour and non pushy...after all, 'if you don't ask, you don't get', sometimes does apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I.don't contact new people first but I have turned down people because I can't understand why the hell they have contacted me.......as they are way too good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though I am curious as to what objectively qualifies someones weight/league/value on here, I mean, do my verifications make me seem like a less than quality product?

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By *pex69Man
over a year ago

Somewhere

i never settle for anything in life so i definitely won't settle when it comes to the women who form part of it.

My mindset wouldn't be i'm punching above my weight however because I know I have plenty to offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I.don't contact new people first but I have turned down people because I can't understand why the hell they have contacted me.......as they are way too good

This must be very common... happens to me all the time

At least I'm assuming that's why my messages get ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Though I am curious as to what objectively qualifies someones weight/league/value on here, I mean, do my verifications make me seem like a less than quality product?"

Not at all , they speak of someone who is interesting , knowledgeable , talkative , and very good looking . Why would you think you were less than quality product ?

However , for many of us we are looking to meet up for passionate sexual encounters .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aim for the moon people! You may well miss, but you could hit a star!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attractions are bizarre. Everybody is looking for what they are personally attracted to. You are just as likely to be knocked back by someone who you think is amazing or average. So just chattl to the people you like and see where it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Though I am curious as to what objectively qualifies someones weight/league/value on here, I mean, do my verifications make me seem like a less than quality product?

Not at all , they speak of someone who is interesting , knowledgeable , talkative , and very good looking . Why would you think you were less than quality product ?"

Well it was more a rhetorical question. I'll freely admit that there are guys who are probably better looking and more socially accessible* than myself, but I've been doing this long enough now to know that I have a lot to offer, so don't consider many women to be 'above my weight', but there are still those it's probably unrealistic for me to contact simply because I may just not be their type.

*a personality that's easy for most people to relate to and get along with

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By *rs.nordsman OP Couple
over a year ago

middlesex

I don't some profiles that even I am in their age limit, I feel like I am not in their league. I find them attractive but maybe they are too much for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't some profiles that even I am in their age limit, I feel like I am not in their league. I find them attractive but maybe they are too much for me."

I think we all suffer with this the little voice i the back of your mind urging you to say nothing. Be bold you might just surprise yourself and then be very happy you took the risk. Whats the absolute worse that can happen? You get a polite no thanks but why live a life of regrets? I wish you the very best of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get what you're saying. We actually have not messaged some people because they look too good, so we don't think they'd be interested in us - especially if their verifications are all from great looking people. I think it effects us most in who we address in clubs, though.

But we are trying to get over it. The worst someone can say is no, after all.

-Courtney

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By *ango0505Woman
over a year ago

Dumfries

"I attract a lot of attention off some very attractive guys on here. I sometimes think they're taking the piss, and should be looking for someone slimmer, prettier etc.

Same, but it's the nature of the site I reckon "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't over-analyse that much really. There's no harm in asking and sometimes I've been pleasantly surprised. I most definetely punch above my weight, but I have great fun and it doesn't worry me.

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

This happens all the time..but I think fuck it I might as well go for it. Ive met some hot guys that have just the same doubts and insecurities as everyone else. If it's not looks its worries about experience etc

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By *R and BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Bebington, wirral

We regularly feel we are "punching above our weight" and JR just keeps on telling me to shut up and enjoy it lol! We keep meeting young attractive couples and I Blondie have a proper issue when the offer to play comes up as I think they are just being nice to us cos we work behind the bar in a club...

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

When I first started swinging with my then partner, I was truly gobsmacked that young fit guys would want someone like me. I have since 'got real', and realise that I am attractive and sought after, for my personality as much as anything else. I dated a guy from here for over two years, on and off, twenty years my junior, who was totally honest about the attraction and that cured any idea of the concept of punching above one's weight because of looks .... over the years, though, I have settled and become more attracted to men closer to me in age, maybe because of shared experiences ... not sure. Now, a fit and handsome hunk in the conventional sense, that vanilla women would 'die for' does not even turn my head. If anything, the fabs experience has allowed me to go beyond the surface and see beyond that ...

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

OP go for it, we have done and have been surprised by the results and have played with some very sexy people

But I would also say OP you look hot so not many will be out of your league!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try...I've been surprised to with the response"

I USED to try...I used to be suprised to actually GET a response AT ALL. These days I keep convincing myself that my Inbox is broken...it's a defence mechanism...

Lol.

Now I'm just here mooching...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't tend to go for looks or punch anyone what ever there weight x if I like the interests I send a polite flirty msg it sometimes fails but if you don't at least try your never going to know x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you sometimes not to message a profile because you feel that you are not what they are looking for? Or try your chance anyway?"
Every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single parent , so quite restricted, I always find out if they can meet during school time, otherwise I'm knackered.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

sometimes its not just the looks, its about stated preferebces. i assume they want that type of play all the time..so i dont message..

thanks for this thread OP it got me thinking xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never actually messaged anyone first, I just wait, I think a lot of women do the same. I get that many messages I dont even have time to browse profiles, only the ones that come into the inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a single parent , so quite restricted, I always find out if they can meet during school time, otherwise I'm knackered."

I'm the same, can only meet weekdays, no evenings or weekends which makes things a bit more limited.

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By *d871Man
over a year ago

nowhere

You've got to try, after all, in the eye of the beholder and all that! There's got to be a lady out there somewhere that thinks I'm sliced bread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gotta be honest , don't think we have ever ever contacted anyone on fab to look for a meet .

What is this punching above your weight malarkey ?

If someone thinks they are better than you they aren't worth meeting are they ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Gotta be honest , don't think we have ever ever contacted anyone on fab to look for a meet .

What is this punching above your weight malarkey ?

If someone thinks they are better than you they aren't worth meeting are they ?

When it comes to it I think it's more a case of people deciding that other people are better than them.......I wouldn't want to meet anyone who thought that way it would be very awkward.

I know what people are saying though and a little light hearted self deprecation can be attractive.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I attract a lot of attention off some very attractive guys on here. I sometimes think they're taking the piss, and should be looking for someone slimmer, prettier etc."

Oh I get this!!! Often wonder if they're just desperate

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I attract a lot of attention off some very attractive guys on here. I sometimes think they're taking the piss, and should be looking for someone slimmer, prettier etc.

Oh I get this!!! Often wonder if they're just desperate

Please don't think that because you see yourself as unworthy of their attention that's how they think too.

Of course there are men here who go for women they think will be more likely to meet them because they will be grateful for the attention but judging someone's actions purely on their looks might mean you miss out on some great meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard to say as I suppose there'd be many ways of categorising someone's "league" if you were to do thst. Intellectually for instance I like to think I don't cone across as a complete neanderthal lol!

If you mean visually however, I did used to think that sometimes, there's a lot of stunning women on here, especially as some users have gorgeously sometimes professionally taken pics that depict them as the vision of an alluribg siren, whereas mine were taken by myself using the camera on my phone lol, and I'd rate myself in appearance as a 5 generally or a 6 if I make an effort. But I've been surprised in that respect.

I was contacted for a meet by a delicious looking lady three years ago, short notice and 50 minutes later the pair of us were naked in some sticky woods and fucking like rabbits, and it was just what the doctor ordered! We left each other veris and I remember a week or so later being perplexed why it seemed there were around 10 to 20 blokes an hour looking through my profile, but found the answer when noticibg there were 3 of her pics sat at the top of the most fab'd page.

So no, despite considering myself as an ordinary chap I know I might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I wouldn't be put off even if I did perceive them to be out of my league.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Do you sometimes not to message a profile because you feel that you are not what they are looking for? Or try your chance anyway?"

It wouldn't cross my mind to contact someone whose profile I didn't match!

As for punching above my weight: what does that even mean? (Rhetorical question). For me Lord Sugar would be punching above my weight, Mark Wright would be punching above his!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I'm not keen on phrases like punching above ones weight, or out of our league..

Who decides these leagues exactly and can you move up and down?

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

It's sad that we even feel we're not in someones 'league', though I do understand where the OP's coming from.

I'd say just go for it. Message who ever you fancy. What have you got to lose?!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Do you sometimes not to message a profile because you feel that you are not what they are looking for? Or try your chance anyway?"

Nope, don't bother.

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By *ecktheHallsCouple
over a year ago

Near Leeds xx

You can be put off messaging people by their pictures, but often the camera does lie. At the end of the day we are all human, all have our little lumps and bumps, and insecurities.

If we like the look of someone, then we let them know usually with a wink. If they wink back, great. We can take it from there, and chat. Sometimes the best looking can be the most boring (socially), and that is a real turn off.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Kind of subscribe to, if they are not interested, so what.

However, if they are.........

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Yeah, I regularly look at some people and think "they'll never be interested in me" so don't message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, I regularly look at some people and think "they'll never be interested in me" so don't message "

This is the problem with the swing scene today.

People are over thinking things... Just let loose and have fun. I'm really starting think people should Only log on , when they are horny and looking for a meet. Then it will take all the insecurities away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sux years ago when i joined hardly messaged anyone. Now i think in for penny in for a pound. Tend you get a pound mmm..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck no is the short answer.

The longer answer is as long as I meet the persons requirements and I am interested in them as well I will message.

I do hate bullshit subjective requires (must be good looking, handsome/hot) because fuck yes I am all those things just maybe not for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message a profile if I feel I'm what they are looking for. But then 90% of profiles on this site are so vague. Such as the "single woman looking for fun" and then they respond back saying im not what they are looking for or worse - no response at all

I may well be punching above my weight most of the time but I do try just never have any luck. It's always so difficult to know who's the right person from an online profile. You don't really know any one until you meet then in person which is why I tend to go for social meets first. .... or at least I try to lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When people say they never message people they find good looking or very attractive I often wonder how it makes the people they have met feel.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The answer is that someone may be interested, until they communicate somehow that you're not what they're looking for. I don't think about punching above my weight - we all love different things. If they love who I am, that's good enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When people say they never message people they find good looking or very attractive I often wonder how it makes the people they have met feel. "

Well said , a good observation

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When people say they never message people they find good looking or very attractive I often wonder how it makes the people they have met feel.

Well said , a good observation

Thank you

I understand that people can feel daunted or have poor body confidence but I don't think they realise how insulting they can be towards other people.

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By *ertiVogtsMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"If I punched above my weight Id be contacting a sumo wrestler

This made me laugh out loud !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it's each to there own and you don't know till you try

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