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"how are you"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response? "

it does from me. Either mind your own business or a block or both.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is it generic message that shows no imagination or effort which You'd presume to be a character trait and not someone who would excite you in the sack.....????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We generally don't like the "hi, how are you messages," but not because they don't show imagination. The problem for us is that we get a ton of messages, as do other people, and when 75% just ask how we are or say hi, it seems a waste of our effort to write back. Though, we do respond to all messages.

If someone has a good profile that explains a bit about them (and yes, I read all profiles that message us) then a "hi, how are you message" is likely to get a better response, especially if I like the profile. But because most don't really put effort into their profile, I would expect more in an initial message to tell me what that person is looking for and why they think we are going to get along well. If they have neither a good profile nor a good first message, then it usually isn't going to get our attention.

-Courtney

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response? "

Of course it does...probably a "fine thanks" ....and then the "conversation" tends to dry up a bit....often with no response at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You have more patients than us, I find that a how are you message is a single male who hasn't read your profile and has probably sent the same message to a100 others in the vain hope of getting 1 reply....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally depends on their profile. If they have a good profile and I'm interested based on that, it doesn't really matter too much to me if the first message is a bit shit.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We will reply to all messages, that is only polite, even though the rules of the site do not require it.

However if subsequent messages are as brief we seldom meet the person.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't"

No, we would reply to that type of message too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Orrr they just don't like what they see..... You can't please everyone.

There is an abundance of single males on here so you are going to have work hard and stand out to get attention.

Effort, respect and patience is the key I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

No, we would reply to that type of message too."

Same here

-Courtney

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By *ales lookingMan
over a year ago

gwynedd


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't"

True.These days I go on grammar.If they cannot spell or punctuate properly then I don't even bother contacting them.

"Bad grammar equals poor hygiene and clubbed feet" which is an old saying I just made up.I simply cast their offers of sex aside because I don't need it, frankly.Not with all the responses and offers I get all the time.Which is a lot.Yes siree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to start a message with how are you purely out of politeness as I feel manners cost nothing hence why it is extremely annoying when people don't just send a no thanks it takes less than 10 seconds to write and send that !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hmmm maybe I'm being a little harsh? But the hi how are you irritates me! A bit like a cold caller asking how your day was??? They don't give a shit in reality??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response? "

It does if you ad a bit more with the message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmm maybe I'm being a little harsh? But the hi how are you irritates me! A bit like a cold caller asking how your day was??? They don't give a shit in reality?? "

of course it irritates you. its a flippin irritating question. the form response is "fine, you ?" its an opener for one line boring email ping pong & its bloody lazy beyond belief. If someone is genuinely interested they are likely to write something that catches interest, says something about them and why they emailed in the first place, give you something you might want to reply to.I have a zero tlerance approach to one liners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

True.These days I go on grammar.If they cannot spell or punctuate properly then I don't even bother contacting them.

"Bad grammar equals poor hygiene and

clubbed feet" which is an old saying I just made up.I simply cast their offers of sex aside because I don't need it, frankly.Not with all the responses and offers I get all the time.Which is a lot.Yes siree "

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By *ales lookingMan
over a year ago

gwynedd


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

True.These days I go on grammar.If they cannot spell or punctuate properly then I don't even bother contacting them.

"Bad grammar equals poor hygiene and

clubbed feet" which is an old saying I just made up.I simply cast their offers of sex aside because I don't need it, frankly.Not with all the responses and offers I get all the time.Which is a lot.Yes siree "

Here all week, try the Hummus

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I used to reply as follows.

"I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking anyway.

Oh. And thanks, but no thanks."

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally depends on their profile. If they have a good profile and I'm interested based on that, it doesn't really matter too much to me if the first message is a bit shit. "

Would those with a good profile be the type to write such a bland opening message though?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Like ^^^^^^^^

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By *apillonNoirWoman
over a year ago

There...


"I used to reply as follows.

"I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking anyway.

Oh. And thanks, but no thanks."

A"

Love this!

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By *lare GTV/TS
over a year ago

South of Sleaford

If I am not having a good day I sometimes reply:

"Do you really want to know?"

The often as not single male with no profile, no picture, no verification and cannot accommodate does not respond.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If the person asking has a decent profile i will reply,if its one line and doesnt tell me anything i delete i'm afraid.

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

How can people find hi how are you? a reason to get snotty. When introduced to someone or wanting to introduce myself I do tend to start with a hi how are you?

Have I been doing this wrong for my entire life. Does the vanilla world have a different language to swinging.

I just think some people need to get off their high horse about a message like that. Most of he people that complain about receiving that message also want 'imagination' as prt of the initial message. Also they don't like one liners.... And the best part is if they don't like you accept the fact that they don't get back to you as answer to that long winded message you have just written.

I believe that most of these people are not well rehearsed in meeting people.

I would struggle to imagine where greeting someone with hi how are you becomes a reason to ignore someone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them you wanna ruin their pussey. That will get a reply I recon lol

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

****HOLD THE PRESS**** I just tried it 100% success rate. I passed the postman greeted him with a 'Hi, how are you' the conversation concluded with him telling me about his new route, the new dog at number 37. And I'm pleased to finally know his name, he knew mine.

Also the lady behind the counter in the co-op. Never spoken before, however, I now know that she is saving for her holiday to Majorca. One of her mates dropped out and she is none to pleased about the replacement as he will be the only man on the holiday and it becomes awkward.

Oh and thanks for the inboxes also I will respond to each that has sent a hi how are you mail.... Would be rude not to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"****HOLD THE PRESS**** I just tried it 100% success rate. I passed the postman greeted him with a 'Hi, how are you' the conversation concluded with him telling me about his new route, the new dog at number 37. And I'm pleased to finally know his name, he knew mine.

Also the lady behind the counter in the co-op. Never spoken before, however, I now know that she is saving for her holiday to Majorca. One of her mates dropped out and she is none to pleased about the replacement as he will be the only man on the holiday and it becomes awkward.

Oh and thanks for the inboxes also I will respond to each that has sent a hi how are you mail.... Would be rude not to"

oh dear . do you not understand the difference between a hi how are you face to face social interaction and 30 hi how are you ? emails per day from random strangers

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Totally depends on their profile. If they have a good profile and I'm interested based on that, it doesn't really matter too much to me if the first message is a bit shit. "

same here.

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"****HOLD THE PRESS**** I just tried it 100% success rate. I passed the postman greeted him with a 'Hi, how are you' the conversation concluded with him telling me about his new route, the new dog at number 37. And I'm pleased to finally know his name, he knew mine.

Also the lady behind the counter in the co-op. Never spoken before, however, I now know that she is saving for her holiday to Majorca. One of her mates dropped out and she is none to pleased about the replacement as he will be the only man on the holiday and it becomes awkward.

Oh and thanks for the inboxes also I will respond to each that has sent a hi how are you mail.... Would be rude not to

oh dear . do you not understand the difference between a hi how are you face to face social interaction and 30 hi how are you ? emails per day from random strangers "

No. Actually no. Does this mean that if 39 people greeted me with 'hello' I should stop responding after the 20th. I just feel if somebody had imagination they may be able to recognise an ice breaker and not treat it as that person being offensive.

Each to their own. I do think that it is down to the people that pander to people and their needs. If someone has it written on their profile that they won't respond to a message of such profanity then why make the effort to contact them initially.

In conclusion my dear I challenge you the next time you get a message like that not to treat the person as though they had just sent a message threatening you with harm and respond as you would do normally. You may get a normal conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"****HOLD THE PRESS**** I just tried it 100% success rate. I passed the postman greeted him with a 'Hi, how are you' the conversation concluded with him telling me about his new route, the new dog at number 37. And I'm pleased to finally know his name, he knew mine.

Also the lady behind the counter in the co-op. Never spoken before, however, I now know that she is saving for her holiday to Majorca. One of her mates dropped out and she is none to pleased about the replacement as he will be the only man on the holiday and it becomes awkward.

Oh and thanks for the inboxes also I will respond to each that has sent a hi how are you mail.... Would be rude not to

oh dear . do you not understand the difference between a hi how are you face to face social interaction and 30 hi how are you ? emails per day from random strangers

No. Actually no. Does this mean that if 39 people greeted me with 'hello' I should stop responding after the 20th. I just feel if somebody had imagination they may be able to recognise an ice breaker and not treat it as that person being offensive.

Each to their own. I do think that it is down to the people that pander to people and their needs. If someone has it written on their profile that they won't respond to a message of such profanity then why make the effort to contact them initially.

In conclusion my dear I challenge you the next time you get a message like that not to treat the person as though they had just sent a message threatening you with harm and respond as you would do normally. You may get a normal conversation"

haha sweety i have responded to "how are you" messages and they all went exactly as i stated.

I challenge you to go to your city centre walk up to random strangers and say "hi how are you" see what response you get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And then when you read the profile, see a connection, write a bespoke reply full of content, you then get no response

Damned if you do, damned if you don't"

Good point

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

I think the ones who dont like a "hi, how are you" are probably the same ones who sit there and expect all the messages to come to them. Try being just an average couple like ourselves, where we have to actually go looking for meets, rather than waiting for them to come to us.

Its an icebreaker, and more often than not we find the people we message first are more into one liners than we are. Hard to strike up a good conversation!

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I think the ones who dont like a "hi, how are you" are probably the same ones who sit there and expect all the messages to come to them. Try being just an average couple like ourselves, where we have to actually go looking for meets, rather than waiting for them to come to us.

Its an icebreaker, and more often than not we find the people we message first are more into one liners than we are. Hard to strike up a good conversation!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the ones who dont like a "hi, how are you" are probably the same ones who sit there and expect all the messages to come to them. Try being just an average couple like ourselves, where we have to actually go looking for meets, rather than waiting for them to come to us.

Its an icebreaker, and more often than not we find the people we message first are more into one liners than we are. Hard to strike up a good conversation!"

I am one of those who find "how are you" frustrating, and I don't sit and wait for meets to fall in my lap! I take time to read people's prifile because I actually want to know something about the people I might play with. "How are you" to me means you are passing the effort of starting meaning communication on to the receiver, if I reply "fine" another bland one liner the chances are you would think me a little dull I'm sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally depends on their profile. If they have a good profile and I'm interested based on that, it doesn't really matter too much to me if the first message is a bit shit.

Would those with a good profile be the type to write such a bland opening message though? "

Generally not. But occasionally they have. I do think people should focus their efforts more on the profile than the message though, as so many people (myself included) click on the profile first,

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I think the ones who dont like a "hi, how are you" are probably the same ones who sit there and expect all the messages to come to them. Try being just an average couple like ourselves, where we have to actually go looking for meets, rather than waiting for them to come to us.

Its an icebreaker, and more often than not we find the people we message first are more into one liners than we are. Hard to strike up a good conversation!

I am one of those who find "how are you" frustrating, and I don't sit and wait for meets to fall in my lap! I take time to read people's prifile because I actually want to know something about the people I might play with. "How are you" to me means you are passing the effort of starting meaning communication on to the receiver, if I reply "fine" another bland one liner the chances are you would think me a little dull I'm sure.

"

No doubt i would, luckily for us we never just send that, we like to add a little bit of something on to show we've read a profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the ones who dont like a "hi, how are you" are probably the same ones who sit there and expect all the messages to come to them. Try being just an average couple like ourselves, where we have to actually go looking for meets, rather than waiting for them to come to us.

Its an icebreaker, and more often than not we find the people we message first are more into one liners than we are. Hard to strike up a good conversation!

I am one of those who find "how are you" frustrating, and I don't sit and wait for meets to fall in my lap! I take time to read people's prifile because I actually want to know something about the people I might play with. "How are you" to me means you are passing the effort of starting meaning communication on to the receiver, if I reply "fine" another bland one liner the chances are you would think me a little dull I'm sure.

No doubt i would, luckily for us we never just send that, we like to add a little bit of something on to show we've read a profile. "

That's just what we do, at the very least it shows you take an interest in who you might play with...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally depends on their profile. If they have a good profile and I'm interested based on that, it doesn't really matter too much to me if the first message is a bit shit. "

Same here. Every message is basically saying 'look at me and see if you like my profile', what the actual message contains doesn't really matter. If someone either of us really liked the look of sent 'how are you?' they'd get a positive reply, and if some crap profile sent a 500 word essay they'd just get a no thanks reply.

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"

No doubt i would, luckily for us we never just send that, we like to add a little bit of something on to show we've read a profile.

That's just what we do, at the very least it shows you take an interest in who you might play with... "

You still find a lot of people reply with one liners, who didnt take the same courtesy to read your profile. Who also believe that you sending them a message means you want to be their friend so they can look at your pics and then ignore you! gotta love fab

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

If they're hot and have a half decent profile I don't care what they say initially.

If I make conversation and get little back though thats the end of it

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By *ondonexplorerMan
over a year ago

Ascot

Hi. How is everyone?

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"

No doubt i would, luckily for us we never just send that, we like to add a little bit of something on to show we've read a profile.

That's just what we do, at the very least it shows you take an interest in who you might play with...

You still find a lot of people reply with one liners, who didnt take the same courtesy to read your profile. Who also believe that you sending them a message means you want to be their friend so they can look at your pics and then ignore you! gotta love fab"

I get loads blatantly asking to be friends just so that they can get off. They get short shrift I can tell you..unless they're hot lol. Then I absolutely do believe they'll come visit even though they live 300 miles away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they're hot and have a half decent profile I don't care what they say initially.

If I make conversation and get little back though thats the end of it"

100% agree with this as if they are unable to hold my attention here then no point in trying to arrange anything else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi. How is everyone?"

Fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some say they would reply to it regardless if interested because its polite, but how do you answer it? Fine thanks... Then they think you are interested or tell them your not interested... That's not answering the question and in my opinion quite rude.

Also, most haven't read profile before messaging and have no info on their profile so aren't they in fact the rude ones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response? "
how are you I'd love to get my hands on that ass

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"

I get loads blatantly asking to be friends just so that they can get off. They get short shrift I can tell you..unless they're hot lol. Then I absolutely do believe they'll come visit even though they live 300 miles away "

They really are going to visit you though

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Some say they would reply to it regardless if interested because its polite, but how do you answer it? Fine thanks... Then they think you are interested or tell them your not interested... That's not answering the question and in my opinion quite rude.

Also, most haven't read profile before messaging and have no info on their profile so aren't they in fact the rude ones?"

I simply can't reply to everyone, though I will if they've made an effort often with a thank you if its a compliment. As you say this is often miscontrued as interest.

I have a disclaimer saying so at the bottom of my profile though I doubt it's often read

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"

I get loads blatantly asking to be friends just so that they can get off. They get short shrift I can tell you..unless they're hot lol. Then I absolutely do believe they'll come visit even though they live 300 miles away

They really are going to visit you though "

I know right!! Im sure I won't have to wait much longer..they'll probably all descend on me at once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"****HOLD THE PRESS**** I just tried it 100% success rate. I passed the postman greeted him with a 'Hi, how are you' the conversation concluded with him telling me about his new route, the new dog at number 37. And I'm pleased to finally know his name, he knew mine.

Also the lady behind the counter in the co-op. Never spoken before, however, I now know that she is saving for her holiday to Majorca. One of her mates dropped out and she is none to pleased about the replacement as he will be the only man on the holiday and it becomes awkward.

Oh and thanks for the inboxes also I will respond to each that has sent a hi how are you mail.... Would be rude not to

oh dear . do you not understand the difference between a hi how are you face to face social interaction and 30 hi how are you ? emails per day from random strangers

No. Actually no. Does this mean that if 39 people greeted me with 'hello' I should stop responding after the 20th. I just feel if somebody had imagination they may be able to recognise an ice breaker and not treat it as that person being offensive.

Each to their own. I do think that it is down to the people that pander to people and their needs. If someone has it written on their profile that they won't respond to a message of such profanity then why make the effort to contact them initially.

In conclusion my dear I challenge you the next time you get a message like that not to treat the person as though they had just sent a message threatening you with harm and respond as you would do normally. You may get a normal conversation

haha sweety i have responded to "how are you" messages and they all went exactly as i stated.

I challenge you to go to your city centre walk up to random strangers and say "hi how are you" see what response you get. "

I agree if a guy came up to me and just said hi id cross the street and pribably be scared, but lets put the scenerio back into context if you had 30 letters through your door every day with just hi how are you, call this number to reply...would you? I'd bet no, you have no idea who the person is, what they look like or what their personality is like. I suspect you'd think weirdos and throw it in the bin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, how is everyone?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Hi. How is everyone?"

I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi. How is everyone?

I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking!

A"
Glad you are well, lets meet.

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Hi. How is everyone?

I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking!

A"

I'm nicking that

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"

I get loads blatantly asking to be friends just so that they can get off. They get short shrift I can tell you..unless they're hot lol. Then I absolutely do believe they'll come visit even though they live 300 miles away

They really are going to visit you though

I know right!! Im sure I won't have to wait much longer..they'll probably all descend on me at once "

Just let us know when they do and if you need help fending them all off. I'm sure my wife would begrudgingly help you!!!

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"

I get loads blatantly asking to be friends just so that they can get off. They get short shrift I can tell you..unless they're hot lol. Then I absolutely do believe they'll come visit even though they live 300 miles away

They really are going to visit you though

I know right!! Im sure I won't have to wait much longer..they'll probably all descend on me at once

Just let us know when they do and if you need help fending them all off. I'm sure my wife would begrudgingly help you!!!"

She'll need her arm twisting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have more patients than us, I find that a how are you message is a single male who hasn't read your profile and has probably sent the same message to a100 others in the vain hope of getting 1 reply...."

What do you say when you mail people for the first time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can people find hi how are you? a reason to get snotty. When introduced to someone or wanting to introduce myself I do tend to start with a hi how are you?

Have I been doing this wrong for my entire life. Does the vanilla world have a different language to swinging.

I just think some people need to get off their high horse about a message like that. Most of he people that complain about receiving that message also want 'imagination' as prt of the initial message. Also they don't like one liners.... And the best part is if they don't like you accept the fact that they don't get back to you as answer to that long winded message you have just written.

I believe that most of these people are not well rehearsed in meeting people.

I would struggle to imagine where greeting someone with hi how are you becomes a reason to ignore someone!"

There's some extremely high maintenance people on here.

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By *illnatMan
over a year ago

wherever i need to be

got to admit, I'm always a little nervous about opening lines and where to take a conversation. How do you know what that person likes?

Reading a profile is fine but it just gives you a snap shot of that person.

I will generally try to get something into an opener from the profile to show that I have actually read it.

And yes I do actually read them.

But as they say, manners cost nothing. If I say hi, I'd prefer a thanks but no thanks. At least then I'd know where I stood.

However from reading the posts, I seem to be in a minority of guys that does understand the meaning of no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You have more patients than us, I find that a how are you message is a single male who hasn't read your profile and has probably sent the same message to a100 others in the vain hope of getting 1 reply....

What do you say when you mail people for the first time?"

I'll say something relevant to their profile and if we like them I'll tell them something about us and end with a question to give them a reason to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can people find hi how are you? a reason to get snotty. When introduced to someone or wanting to introduce myself I do tend to start with a hi how are you?

Have I been doing this wrong for my entire life. Does the vanilla world have a different language to swinging.

I just think some people need to get off their high horse about a message like that. Most of he people that complain about receiving that message also want 'imagination' as prt of the initial message. Also they don't like one liners.... And the best part is if they don't like you accept the fact that they don't get back to you as answer to that long winded message you have just written.

I believe that most of these people are not well rehearsed in meeting people.

I would struggle to imagine where greeting someone with hi how are you becomes a reason to ignore someone!

There's some extremely high maintenance people on here.

"

The term Diva is quite representative!

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By *ringiton89Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

For everyone who's saying they find these messages boring and unimaginative, how do YOU initiate conversation with others?

Being honest, if I get a big long message about someone about how they're doing and what they're on the site for and when they're free and their hobbies, I usually think they are oddities as there's no need for that in a first message. And to be fair, these are the 'standard messages' that are probably copied and pasted to every person they contact cause, let's be honest, who is gonna invest time in a lengthy unique first message to everyone on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But the whole point of being here is that you are meeting people in a different way. Hi, How are you works just fine in real face to face meetings with people. On here most men don't really want to know anyway. You need to be more imaginative in ways that say what you really want which is usually (always?) 'fancy a fuck?'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have more patients than us, I find that a how are you message is a single male who hasn't read your profile and has probably sent the same message to a100 others in the vain hope of getting 1 reply....

What do you say when you mail people for the first time?

I'll say something relevant to their profile and if we like them I'll tell them something about us and end with a question to give them a reason to reply."

If there was any such thing as a perfect first message, I think that would be it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering because it seems to be a bone of contention if the message "how are you" or similar actually get any response? "

Single women usually start with that as a tester in case they get rejected

Blokes use it because they think it works as women use it

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"I used to reply as follows.

"I'm fine thanks. Bit of a cold with a snotty nose so sneezing a lot which can be quite messy, especial when there's no tissue to hand and I end up with snot over my hands/breakfast/iPhone. Oh, and I banged my head on the door yesterday after treading on an upturned plug carelessly left on the bedroom floor, so as well as the snot problem I have a sore foot and a bump on my head that looks like a golf ball. I've also had a stiff back over the last few days too. I was doing a good deed for an elderly neighbour cutting her hedge when a stray dog jumped up and knocked me off the step ladder. It's not too bad but I'm milking it for all its worth to avoid mowing the lawn and washing the car. On the plus side at least the thrush seems to be clearing up and there's been no recurrence of the piles that were driving me crazy - you should've seen the state of the loo after I'd been straining over it for hours each day. Could be worse I suppose. No sign of the usual bout of hayfever I suffer which gets worse due to the thirteen flea ridden cats we have that insist on using my shoes as litter trays, which also aggravates my athletes foot and bunions.

But thanks for asking anyway.

Oh. And thanks, but no thanks."

A"

Thanks for this...I adopted something similar on the last few "hows use" messages and the replies came back "good, well can we meet" which makes me feel that they didn't really want to know how I was at all...which is a little disappointing.

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By *000_6ftMan
over a year ago

Norwich

It's a tried and tested universal opening message. I can't see how it can offend people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We generally don't like the "hi, how are you messages," but not because they don't show imagination. The problem for us is that we get a ton of messages, as do other people, and when 75% just ask how we are or say hi, it seems a waste of our effort to write back. Though, we do respond to all messages.

If someone has a good profile that explains a bit about them (and yes, I read all profiles that message us) then a "hi, how are you message" is likely to get a better response, especially if I like the profile. But because most don't really put effort into their profile, I would expect more in an initial message to tell me what that person is looking for and why they think we are going to get along well. If they have neither a good profile nor a good first message, then it usually isn't going to get our attention.

-Courtney"

This!

(Unless they look drop dead gorgeous and have good veris!)

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