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transparency in couples

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was reading another post where someone badly put a point across but I felt that to be fair, I'd be pretty miffed if I was told intimate conversation between my partner and a.potential meet was none of my business.

And to be fair we have always had total transparency.. even when we had singles accounts we both had access. And have no problem showing each other conversations on our phones.. ( I won't actually converse with guys except via fab )

Its exciting to see the conversations... So two questions really...

Would you feel a bit put out If you knew both halves would see all the chatting ...

Couples do you share all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was reading another post where someone badly put a point across but I felt that to be fair, I'd be pretty miffed if I was told intimate conversation between my partner and a.potential meet was none of my business.

And to be fair we have always had total transparency.. even when we had singles accounts we both had access. And have no problem showing each other conversations on our phones.. ( I won't actually converse with guys except via fab )

Its exciting to see the conversations... So two questions really...

Would you feel a bit put out If you knew both halves would see all the chatting ...

Couples do you share all..."

As it was me that you were discusing with...

I do not show my partners any of my conversation with any of my other partners, meets, or prospective meets/partners.

If they desperately wanted to see it then I would show them, but I would then ask questions about why they felt they needed to see it and why they didn't trust me.

To be honest as well, I personally have no desire to read my partners sexy conversation with their partners/meets. I don't really want to know what they get up to in bed (outside of the safety stuff) and it's quite frankly none of my business.

Other relationships may vary and I understand some partners specifically swing together and get off on seeing each others communications. It's just not for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It made me think though as I do not see what I do with others as private even if my partner was not there.

I haven't played alone for a while but when I do I take photos and whoever I am meeting knows its still a shared experience .. Just shared later.

Mr is a little different and it took me a long time to be okay with that as when he meets alone his focus is on the lady he is meeting , where as mine is still on us... ( but that is because that is my pleasure in it x )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It made me think though as I do not see what I do with others as private even if my partner was not there.

I haven't played alone for a while but when I do I take photos and whoever I am meeting knows its still a shared experience .. Just shared later.

Mr is a little different and it took me a long time to be okay with that as when he meets alone his focus is on the lady he is meeting , where as mine is still on us... ( but that is because that is my pleasure in it x )"

You see, the idea of someone taking photographs of me in order to show their partner would just have me putting my clothes on and walking out, there and then. I'm not there to provide a show for a couple or provide them with wank-material for later.

I respect that many, many swingers enjoy that and it really works for them. But it's just not my thing at all.

I have dirty photographs of all my partners (and quite a few of my meets) but I'd never, ever show them to *anyone* else, ever, without their explicit permission. They are completely private.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's always done with their consent and then knowing x its why I get very few photos back as unless they want to take photos to show their partners its rare a lady will allow it.

It wouldn't bother me and I have done photos for female halves and even discussed with them first what photos they most wanted.. And that made it even more exciting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we share all because we only meet together. When people message us, it's normally me (husband) who replies but we would go to a meet without wife having read the whole conversation. It would get a bit awkward if our first conversation consisted of repeating questions and answers from fab.

It would be a different dynamic if we were meeting alone which I think is the context above, not having read the original thread referred to...

After we meet a couple and decide we want to see them again then one of us tends to take the lead with messages. Usually this would be wife and I absolutely love reading her naughty messages to the other couple!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of us have access to our account. We both reply/chat. Decisions on meets always left to me though as my OH knows I have better judgement and can see between the lines

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"

Other relationships may vary and I understand some partners specifically swing together and get off on seeing each others communications. It's just not for me."

Our relationship is different, as a married couple we are one entity.

We share everything between us and have no secrets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm Always transparent..in fact i cant even see myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Always transparent..in fact i cant even see myself"

but in seriousness...I find some couples I initially chat to being not so transparent...

it gets to the point I realize the female half hasnt actually spoke with me...might not even know I exist...great start eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always shared between us two. I think if a single is choosing to play with a part of a couple they should accept that the conversation they are having with one of them will be shared with the other.

I respect other people's relationships and would expect that to happen if I was talking to just one.

And even if one of us plays solo, it's still an extension of our intimacy and it will get discussed afterwards.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"I was reading another post where someone badly put a point across but I felt that to be fair, I'd be pretty miffed if I was told intimate conversation between my partner and a.potential meet was none of my business.

And to be fair we have always had total transparency.. even when we had singles accounts we both had access. And have no problem showing each other conversations on our phones.. ( I won't actually converse with guys except via fab )

Its exciting to see the conversations... So two questions really...

Would you feel a bit put out If you knew both halves would see all the chatting ...

Couples do you share all..."

Everyone has their own dynamic and if they are happy with it, that's great. But OP I understand that you and your partner are friends with benefits, rather than a GF/BF or married couple relationship. In a married or long term bf/gf relationship I would expect everything to be open and transparent, but in a FWB arrangement I wouldn't. If I wanted that kind of shared Life, then I would be in a relationship with them. As Beyonce would say, if you like it then you should've put a ring on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose like everything else, it's about what works for you and so long as everyone is up front about what will or will not be shared from the start, it's fine.

Personally I'm an extremely private person and I wouldn't like any details of my meet with someone shared with anyone else. If I wanted more people (such as the other partner) to be involved, then I'd meet them both in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How you run your profile is up to you all, if you want to share everything go for it and if you don't that's fine too but why you should give even the slightest toss about what others do with their profile is beyond me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose like everything else, it's about what works for you and so long as everyone is up front about what will or will not be shared from the start, it's fine.

Personally I'm an extremely private person and I wouldn't like any details of my meet with someone shared with anyone else. If I wanted more people (such as the other partner) to be involved, then I'd meet them both in the first place."

Slightly different though no?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was reading another post where someone badly put a point across but I felt that to be fair, I'd be pretty miffed if I was told intimate conversation between my partner and a.potential meet was none of my business.

And to be fair we have always had total transparency.. even when we had singles accounts we both had access. And have no problem showing each other conversations on our phones.. ( I won't actually converse with guys except via fab )

Its exciting to see the conversations... So two questions really...

Would you feel a bit put out If you knew both halves would see all the chatting ...

Couples do you share all...

Everyone has their own dynamic and if they are happy with it, that's great. But OP I understand that you and your partner are friends with benefits, rather than a GF/BF or married couple relationship. In a married or long term bf/gf relationship I would expect everything to be open and transparent, but in a FWB arrangement I wouldn't. If I wanted that kind of shared Life, then I would be in a relationship with them. As Beyonce would say, if you like it then you should've put a ring on it."

We are not friends with benefits but would never live together.. as neither want that sort of relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose like everything else, it's about what works for you and so long as everyone is up front about what will or will not be shared from the start, it's fine.

Personally I'm an extremely private person and I wouldn't like any details of my meet with someone shared with anyone else. If I wanted more people (such as the other partner) to be involved, then I'd meet them both in the first place.

Slightly different though no? "

It's still the involvement of someone else, just in a slightly different way. I still don't like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything open and transparent here, we have nothing to hide from each other, for us swinging is totally together but every dynamic is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose like everything else, it's about what works for you and so long as everyone is up front about what will or will not be shared from the start, it's fine.

Personally I'm an extremely private person and I wouldn't like any details of my meet with someone shared with anyone else. If I wanted more people (such as the other partner) to be involved, then I'd meet them both in the first place.

Slightly different though no?

It's still the involvement of someone else, just in a slightly different way. I still don't like it. "

So if you're speaking with one person from a couples account with a view to meeting them, do you move the conversation to text for example, for more privacy?

We keep our convos on fab usually so the other can read it and we don't have to keep relaying info.

In fairness, we do usually make it clear to people that we are open with each other and details get shared so it would give a choice to the 3rd party to decline if they were uncomfortable with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose like everything else, it's about what works for you and so long as everyone is up front about what will or will not be shared from the start, it's fine.

Personally I'm an extremely private person and I wouldn't like any details of my meet with someone shared with anyone else. If I wanted more people (such as the other partner) to be involved, then I'd meet them both in the first place.

Slightly different though no?

It's still the involvement of someone else, just in a slightly different way. I still don't like it.

So if you're speaking with one person from a couples account with a view to meeting them, do you move the conversation to text for example, for more privacy?

We keep our convos on fab usually so the other can read it and we don't have to keep relaying info.

In fairness, we do usually make it clear to people that we are open with each other and details get shared so it would give a choice to the 3rd party to decline if they were uncomfortable with that. "

If they'd told me that details would be shared with the other person then I wouldn't take it any further anyway.

But then I don't tend to meet one of a couple, because most want to share. And I totally understand why, I just don't want to be part of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's always shared between us two. I think if a single is choosing to play with a part of a couple they should accept that the conversation they are having with one of them will be shared with the other.

I respect other people's relationships and would expect that to happen if I was talking to just one.

And even if one of us plays solo, it's still an extension of our intimacy and it will get discussed afterwards.

"

I think the exact opposite. If I played with a female from a couple who has chosen to play with just me as a single fem I expect what happens to stay between just us. No photos. No vids.That would be agreed before hand. Don't agree. No meet. Simple. I'm not wank fodder for a man who I have absolutely no interest in. If I did I'd play with them both.

Guess what - there are enough Bi fems around to not even think about playing alone with a bi fem from a couple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's always shared between us two. I think if a single is choosing to play with a part of a couple they should accept that the conversation they are having with one of them will be shared with the other.

I respect other people's relationships and would expect that to happen if I was talking to just one.

And even if one of us plays solo, it's still an extension of our intimacy and it will get discussed afterwards.

I think the exact opposite. If I played with a female from a couple who has chosen to play with just me as a single fem I expect what happens to stay between just us. No photos. No vids.That would be agreed before hand. Don't agree. No meet. Simple. I'm not wank fodder for a man who I have absolutely no interest in. If I did I'd play with them both.

Guess what - there are enough Bi fems around to not even think about playing alone with a bi fem from a couple. "

To be honest I'd only play with a woman as a couple.. And I think that as long as people are upfront with what they want then no harm done.

For instance I'd not meet a guy or in my case group of guys that wasn't happy with having photos taken X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's always shared between us two. I think if a single is choosing to play with a part of a couple they should accept that the conversation they are having with one of them will be shared with the other.

I respect other people's relationships and would expect that to happen if I was talking to just one.

And even if one of us plays solo, it's still an extension of our intimacy and it will get discussed afterwards.

I think the exact opposite. If I played with a female from a couple who has chosen to play with just me as a single fem I expect what happens to stay between just us. No photos. No vids.That would be agreed before hand. Don't agree. No meet. Simple. I'm not wank fodder for a man who I have absolutely no interest in. If I did I'd play with them both.

Guess what - there are enough Bi fems around to not even think about playing alone with a bi fem from a couple. "

I agree. If I play with a girl, I do it for me. Not to put on a show or send pics back home. It's not me.

However he does it differently.

Our relationship is the reverse of that. He plays with women and usually phones me during or sends pics. It's a cuckold dynamic. He is a bull and goes and fucks hot wives and I'm his cuck and get teased.

This isn't the only way we play.

We have our swinging 'rules' and it's openness and discussion. So there would be no privacy from each other.

I feel differently about photos though. I can understand if pics are taken that the solo wouldn't want them shared unless it's their thing too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once chatted to people and feel they are what we are looking for will tell them to message Ginger as she rarely uses this account. I used to have access to her account but not any more. Occassionally she'll let me read messages but most of the time it's private as some of our fantasies feature me not knowing until during or after they've met

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

We share all the details of everything and although I message from this account, Mr sees all the messages and sometimes adds to the messages, but generally trusts me to make the decisions about everything. If I meet alone, it is only with single bi gems,, from my single account. We tend to do everything together anyway, as we are a couple in the real world. Not yet officially living together, but in the process ..... and he stays over six out of seven nights a week

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

you know one of the things I do love about this lifestyle is the variation on how people enjoy it.

Thanks to those that have added. It is always an interesting read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything on here is available for both of us to see at any time . Nothing is deleted or hidden .

However , neither of us ever flirt or do anything other than arrange meets and come on the forums , so nothing to hide .

As for the precious me attitude , and no one is using me for wank fodder by taking pics to show their partner - if we did meet separately and encountered that attitude , we simply wouldn't meet them .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have to say for me with photos its as much for me as for Mr.. I adore taking the photos and looking back on them together.. and knowing that when I send them he may well be at work...

We love sharing our photos..

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By *ristol_MTB_cplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We both share the fab account, could be either of us messaging.

Once we decide we want chat more We like group chats onWhatsApp or kik, means we can all chat and flirt together. Seems to work pretty well, even when it's just C flirting with a guy, I'm in the conversation.

Fully open and honest, and saves time bringing the other up to speed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all enjoy sex but we all have different perspectives.

Now we have both very occasionally meet alone and on one occasion have taken pics that was a massive turn on for us both. The 3rd party on this occasion was a male who was happy to participate. Many single females seem anti this, regardless of whether they meet the male or female half of a couple.

Shows you how different guys and girls think.

As mentioned by others - be clear on what you want or don't want from the off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We share absolutely everything about what goes on here. Just thought I'd make that clear

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We all enjoy sex but we all have different perspectives.

Now we have both very occasionally meet alone and on one occasion have taken pics that was a massive turn on for us both. The 3rd party on this occasion was a male who was happy to participate. Many single females seem anti this, regardless of whether they meet the male or female half of a couple.

Shows you how different guys and girls think.

As mentioned by others - be clear on what you want or don't want from the off."

There is quite a big divide between men and women with photos isn't there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes - women appreciate their mind being stimulated just as much and women don't always think with their 'dicks'.

It helps us a lot as a couple as Mr Z can get carried away when talking with a female and Mrs Z then pulls him back to reality and sees things differently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes - women appreciate their mind being stimulated just as much and women don't always think with their 'dicks'.

It helps us a lot as a couple as Mr Z can get carried away when talking with a female and Mrs Z then pulls him back to reality and sees things differently. "

Lol.... They can get carried away cant they

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By *ancpl05Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Yes we share every part of all our fun. Isn't that the point ?? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes we share every part of all our fun. Isn't that the point ?? X"

No, not for everyone!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's been very interesting to see other views.

A few things have come out of it like I think it maybe exciting to suddenly over dinner be told and shown the naughty spur of the moment meet that was had... But it still I guess comes under telling all. And yes I guess you have to trust that you do get to see all.

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

We have access to each others accounts / emails etc but never look or ask questions as we have total trust in each other, we have to talk/message lots of people through our work & swinging.

John as filmed/photographed over 300 women in his time & i have probably been in films with triple that amount but we always come home to each other & treat our sexual activates with others as just work/fun.

We both get more than our fair share of opportunities to have fun with people but don't abuse the fact, if we swing we prefer to meet couples at home for a nice meal & some fun rather than visit clubs as our real life is already based on sexual exhibition so we don't want to do the same swinging as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's been very interesting to see other views.

A few things have come out of it like I think it maybe exciting to suddenly over dinner be told and shown the naughty spur of the moment meet that was had... But it still I guess comes under telling all. And yes I guess you have to trust that you do get to see all. "

Having been the recipient of pictures taken when I wasn't there and Ginger's played solo gotta say quite horny especially the journey home and wondering they'll still be there

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