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Poor Etiquette and Manners

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was shocked and puzzled at some of the behaviour of single lads at a certain well established London Swingers Club.

Actions ranging from sitting/laying within an inch of a couple as soon as they sit down.

About 16 single guys following every couple that moved. Some over taking others to try and get closer to the front of the following queue.

People persistently shoving me in the dark room so they could get nearer to a lady. Lads trying to carrying on with a lady in the dark room after the couple have said no more thank you, resulting in the Male of the couple having to lose his temper.

Another guy trying to manoeuvre himself in to position to fuck a man's wife even though he had told clearly twice that he can play with her boobs but he is not fucking her.

I've got to say this behaviour was not conducted by all.

But if I am totally honest the behaviour was predominantly by younger lads with foreign backgrounds, I'm not saying all lads from this grouping acted like that.

Im puzzled if this behaviour stems from a lack of manners in all walks of life by these men, or a lack of respect for females, where they think they can take liberties. Or whether I am just to respectful and too well mannered.

The bottom line is that these acts of bad etiquette and manners just detract from what should be a fun night for all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because a minority of single guys act like this, many couples (like us) won't go to clubs except on couples only nights - even though we're otherwise inclined to have some fun with single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We want to try a club this year and think will go on a couples night after reading this

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but at least there are good guys like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners are totally free and should be used at every chance on here

Best rule - treat others the way you de like robe treated - simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ppsted a similar thing on the clubs forum !

only been to one club and witnessed the exact behaviour your describing Op.

Men acting unashamedly desperate following anything female incase of a remote chance of any action .

I left after a short while as guys stood next to me dropped there towels and started wanking within inches of me !

I was ashamed to be a guy ! Im not desperate and id never act like that if i was ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife."

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

"

utter nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told"

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus what's this turned into? A post about racism? Shall we get back in track, we have never ever had any trouble from any guys on any night we have hosted, fact is if the grounds rules, betting system are in place it won't happen and doesn't, simple

If there is the odd isolated incident then that due to an individual, howeverif the bad manners, rudeness is rife and from more than 1 guy that's entirely the fault of the club!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

utter nonsense."

actually i agree with glos on this one...

there are as many predatory couples out there as there are single guys.....

I seen as much unwanted touching and attention from couples as i have singles... but singles are the easy target!

I always say to people you only need to tell people no twice.... first time tell the no nicely, 2nd time if they try it on again tell them loudly! if other people overhear them, you find behaviour improves rapidly

anyway... back to the opening post...

the problem is that the rant is aimed at the very people who are least likely to read this post..... they don't care about the actions, they are thinking with their cocks....

if people act like an arse... then you'll stand out by doing it the right way....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

utter nonsense.

actually i agree with glos on this one...

there are as many predatory couples out there as there are single guys.....

I seen as much unwanted touching and attention from couples as i have singles... but singles are the easy target!

I always say to people you only need to tell people no twice.... first time tell the no nicely, 2nd time if they try it on again tell them loudly! if other people overhear them, you find behaviour improves rapidly

anyway... back to the opening post...

the problem is that the rant is aimed at the very people who are least likely to read this post..... they don't care about the actions, they are thinking with their cocks....

if people act like an arse... then you'll stand out by doing it the right way.... "

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

we never go now on a singles night only ever couples nights and that's a shame as we are single guy friendley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we never go now on a singles night only ever couples nights and that's a shame as we are single guy friendley"

Jesus you've been going to the wrong clubs then!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked"

and if you knew me then you'd know glos are probably the last people i'd ever be "white knighting" for.... I think the is the first time i've agreed with them on anything......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because a minority of single guys act like this, many couples (like us) won't go to clubs except on couples only nights - even though we're otherwise inclined to have some fun with single guys"

Another instance of the bad ones spoiling it for those of us who are polite, respectful and very often ignored.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Because a minority of single guys act like this, many couples (like us) won't go to clubs except on couples only nights - even though we're otherwise inclined to have some fun with single guys

Another instance of the bad ones spoiling it for those of us who are polite, respectful and very often ignored."

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............... and we were doing do well!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked

and if you knew me then you'd know glos are probably the last people i'd ever be "white knighting" for.... I think the is the first time i've agreed with them on anything...... "

It did not sound like white knighting to me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked

and if you knew me then you'd know glos are probably the last people i'd ever be "white knighting" for.... I think the is the first time i've agreed with them on anything......

It did not sound like white knighting to me at all."

Nor me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the clubs I have been to have very good management in place. If people do something after being told no, report them and they will be kicked out. No?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the clubs I have been to have very good management in place. If people do something after being told no, report them and they will be kicked out. No? "

Exactly.....

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked

and if you knew me then you'd know glos are probably the last people i'd ever be "white knighting" for.... I think the is the first time i've agreed with them on anything...... "

Fabio never white knights. Every post is bloody true, that's the whole 3 years I've been on these forums.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people."

I can honestly say that in dozens of club visits to many different venues I've seen no difference in behaviour based on race. A pushy, disrespectful twat is not defined by colour.

It's statements like the above that fuel stereotypical _iews that are based on bullshit rather than fact.

And often made by people that have visited maybe one club on one occasion - and chosen to make an assumption based on a single occurrence.

A

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people.

I can honestly say that in dozens of club visits to many different venues I've seen no difference in behaviour based on race. A pushy, disrespectful twat is not defined by colour.

It's statements like the above that fuel stereotypical _iews that are based on bullshit rather than fact.

And often made by people that have visited maybe one club on one occasion - and chosen to make an assumption based on a single occurrence.

A"

And this someone else who always gets it right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people.

I can honestly say that in dozens of club visits to many different venues I've seen no difference in behaviour based on race. A pushy, disrespectful twat is not defined by colour.

It's statements like the above that fuel stereotypical _iews that are based on bullshit rather than fact.

And often made by people that have visited maybe one club on one occasion - and chosen to make an assumption based on a single occurrence.

A"

Well said xxx

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By *izgustMan
over a year ago

yorkshire

you only have to lolok in directing rooms at the directors who prey on females as soon as there cam goes on its do this do that do the other women are not perfoming seals for your pleasure women do like to be directed don't get me wrong but the mannerism and arrogance of males on here is unreal manners cost nothing at all but the non camming directors come up ,why they cant cam nowonder couples on this site don't want a single male as the majority spoil this site with there mannerism of a sewer rat and when the female or couple go off cam they just wait and stalk the next one same old same directors same abuse and same drivel

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned "

Go in a room with a door maybe!

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By *estsideukMan
over a year ago

Hatfield area

I'm rather shocked by all of this, and perhaps somewhat naive/been very lucky. Based on my experience at Kestrals it has never been a problem. Lots of attention for my lady & I playing, but very respectful, and nor have I seen it with others. I really had the impression that the management wouldn't hesitate to act.

I've not been as a single man, but I wonder if feedback to the management is in order. Them setting expectations of behaviour - and the consequences for not meeting - should be something they need to be doing as a minimum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can always tell how these threads would turn in to 'Asian' bashing. It always happens that.

I'm Asian. I don't think I behave like that.

The thing is, and I can say this as i've gone to a few clubs and parties now but if from the outset you don't set the boundaries. The guys won't listen. Regardless of their background.

I've seen this at a party where some guys started having a hissy fit because they weren't getting any action and were trying to force some action upon themelves. We had to tell them that if they've said no, then it's a no. If no one SAYS nothing, then they won't know.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

The behaviour mentioned by the OP is not acceptable and as individuals they shouldn't be doing it, but also the club should be policing them better as well. The single men come because of the couples and the single women, if the club allows the single men to chase away the couples and the single women, then the club is doomed.

The club management need to make sure they are providing a fun sexy atmosphere where everyone feels safe.

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!"

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?..."

Says it all doesn't it,you must be asking for it.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

Says it all doesn't it,you must be asking for it. "

This is just my _iew and how we like to play, but I don't see the point of going to a club to play behind a locked door. If I wanted to do that I would have a private meet at my house and save myself the club entrance fee. We enjoy being watched and watching others as we play. But that is not an invitation to join in without permission.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?..."

It is called sexual assault. No white knighting intended. I don't think the fact that the assault was by a Spanish man is particularly relevant though. I am sure that it could just as easily have been a UK born person.

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By *easehotelCouple
over a year ago

huntingdon,Cambridgeshire


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?..."

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

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By *easehotelCouple
over a year ago

huntingdon,Cambridgeshire


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

Says it all doesn't it,you must be asking for it.

This is just my _iew and how we like to play, but I don't see the point of going to a club to play behind a locked door. If I wanted to do that I would have a private meet at my house and save myself the club entrance fee. We enjoy being watched and watching others as we play. But that is not an invitation to join in without permission. "

Each club is different that why it's so great many people prefer to go off and play with other couples in private at a club, some people prefer that level of intimacy that brings, a fact born out that the club you regularly attend many people book rooms mainly for the purpose of playing in private, others prefer to peacock, watch and be watched, that's what makes swinging so unique everyone is different, sometimes we like to play in the open sometimes we prefer to have a more private liaison that's why we go to the club we choose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an element of political correctness on Fab. This is reminiscent of the problems that arose in the recent High Profile child grooming & exploitation cases in the news. Such as Rotherham. From my club experience as a cpl and a single bad behaviour by single men is not exclusive to Asians.

However, in my experience many Asians do have a tendency to treat women disrespectfully. This may be the individual, but in my opinion it is a cultural issue.

We have had similar issues with Eastern European men too... D*unk ones I might add...

As part of a cpl I have been involved in play with Black and Asian guys so please dont cry Racist...

In the past we had issues in a well know Sheffield club with Foreign men, so much so we left early. Only then to have a Pakistani Taxi driver start making lewd comments about my Ex in the Taxi! I reported him and stopped the taxi and we walked home... Bad night!

Soooo the upshot is, single guys nights in clubs can be a nightmare! We avoid them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time "

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

"

Men and women in couples. And single women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can always tell how these threads would turn in to 'Asian' bashing. It always happens that.

I'm Asian. I don't think I behave like that.

The thing is, and I can say this as i've gone to a few clubs and parties now but if from the outset you don't set the boundaries. The guys won't listen. Regardless of their background.

I've seen this at a party where some guys started having a hissy fit because they weren't getting any action and were trying to force some action upon themelves. We had to tell them that if they've said no, then it's a no. If no one SAYS nothing, then they won't know.

"

Exactly the last paragraph. We have had guys getting too close or being in a couples only room when they shouldn't. We asked them to move/ explained it was a couples only room. No issue at all, they smiled and moved.

Some people like to be crowded and some don't. People aren't mind readers.

Clubs aren't all full of predatory people. It entirely depends on the people there.

We hardly ever play in private rooms and we have had no problems. I find that if you are polite with people, they are polite in return.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen? "

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was shocked and puzzled at some of the behaviour of single lads at a certain well established London Swingers Club.

Actions ranging from sitting/laying within an inch of a couple as soon as they sit down.

About 16 single guys following every couple that moved. Some over taking others to try and get closer to the front of the following queue.

People persistently shoving me in the dark room so they could get nearer to a lady. Lads trying to carrying on with a lady in the dark room after the couple have said no more thank you, resulting in the Male of the couple having to lose his temper.

Another guy trying to manoeuvre himself in to position to fuck a man's wife even though he had told clearly twice that he can play with her boobs but he is not fucking her.

I've got to say this behaviour was not conducted by all.

But if I am totally honest the behaviour was predominantly by younger lads with foreign backgrounds, I'm not saying all lads from this grouping acted like that.

Im puzzled if this behaviour stems from a lack of manners in all walks of life by these men, or a lack of respect for females, where they think they can take liberties. Or whether I am just to respectful and too well mannered.

The bottom line is that these acts of bad etiquette and manners just detract from what should be a fun night for all."
b. My swinging partner calls them the elastic band brigade... Lol. But yes certain guys from certain ethnic origins are very rude and expect to have a play as well as sex,, , the female has to be very assertive where these guys are concerned,, took me a long time to able to tell them to fxxk off,,,, doesn't now.

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

I mentioned his ethnicity because it doesn't matter if he was Asian, European or British, that type of behaviour isn't acceptable. I went to a club to have fun with people I want to have fun with. This does not automatically mean that I welcome all attention and an invitation for men to invade me. Woman are not holes to be used. We're people who deserve respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection "

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mentioned his ethnicity because it doesn't matter if he was Asian, European or British, that type of behaviour isn't acceptable. I went to a club to have fun with people I want to have fun with. This does not automatically mean that I welcome all attention and an invitation for men to invade me. Woman are not holes to be used. We're people who deserve respect. "

Of course it is unacceptable. It just seemed odd that you mentioned his ethnicity. It is a fragile subject at the moment. Google's photo app mistake did not go down well. Thank the Lawd. Perhaps we are all so sensitive about race that the sensitivity itself causes issues?

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx"

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"I mentioned his ethnicity because it doesn't matter if he was Asian, European or British, that type of behaviour isn't acceptable. I went to a club to have fun with people I want to have fun with. This does not automatically mean that I welcome all attention and an invitation for men to invade me. Woman are not holes to be used. We're people who deserve respect.

Of course it is unacceptable. It just seemed odd that you mentioned his ethnicity. It is a fragile subject at the moment. Google's photo app mistake did not go down well. Thank the Lawd. Perhaps we are all so sensitive about race that the sensitivity itself causes issues?"

I mentioned it because others in the thread were saying from what they have observed the unacceptable behaviour is from some Asian men, so I put it out there because it doesn't matter where they are from the individual can be rude no matter the ethnicity. Sorry of I didn't come across clear in that x

On a note: the said individual got mad when I didn't want to play further with him and resorted to calling me and my friend racial slurs.

It's people like this that try to ruin the fun for everyone, but you just learn from it move on and not let yourself get into a situation like that again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?"

No it was a suggestion to try a closed room, just a suggestion, not sure how you can stop this kind of behaviour in an open play area (having never seen it happen I'm not sure how I would deal with it, maybe tell the guy to f@&k off and if he forces his cock in my mouth call the police) but one way is to go in a closed room, no undercurrent implied or suggested no blame on the OP implied or suggested, end of....

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?"

When I read that statement, it comes off like: you got what was coming to you because you were open to the public, but had you been behind closed doors it would never have happened

I like people watching, but does not give them an invitation to join in. If I kiss someone in public does a random stranger have the right to shove their tongue down my throat??

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?

No it was a suggestion to try a closed room, just a suggestion, not sure how you can stop this kind of behaviour in an open play area (having never seen it happen I'm not sure how I would deal with it, maybe tell the guy to f@&k off and if he forces his cock in my mouth call the police) but one way is to go in a closed room, no undercurrent implied or suggested no blame on the OP implied or suggested, end of...."

Okay. My apologies xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Of course it is unacceptable. It just seemed odd that you mentioned his ethnicity. It is a fragile subject at the moment. Google's photo app mistake did not go down well. Thank the Lawd. Perhaps we are all so sensitive about race that the sensitivity itself causes issues?

I mentioned it because others in the thread were saying from what they have observed the unacceptable behaviour is from some Asian men, so I put it out there because it doesn't matter where they are from the individual can be rude no matter the ethnicity. Sorry of I didn't come across clear in that x

On a note: the said individual got mad when I didn't want to play further with him and resorted to calling me and my friend racial slurs.

It's people like this that try to ruin the fun for everyone, but you just learn from it move on and not let yourself get into a situation like that again."

It was me getting the wrong end of the stick there. Words can be interpreted so differently. My apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys "

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night... "

The one with the biggest cock?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?

No it was a suggestion to try a closed room, just a suggestion, not sure how you can stop this kind of behaviour in an open play area (having never seen it happen I'm not sure how I would deal with it, maybe tell the guy to f@&k off and if he forces his cock in my mouth call the police) but one way is to go in a closed room, no undercurrent implied or suggested no blame on the OP implied or suggested, end of....

Okay. My apologies xx"

No need to apologise some people on this thread (not you) just read into statements to fit there own personal that agenda, It always troubles us that this ever happens at clubs as we've benn over 90 times to put local club and never seen this happen as rules are in place and a zero tolerance, however a piece of advice we got early on in swinging, don't frequent clubs without a licensed bar as they get all there income from the entry fees and as such maybe a little less choosy about who they let in!

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By *ertiVogtsMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?"

Oh dear...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We spent 3 years attending clubs and it put us in good stead for the dogging fun we now enjoy .

As the male half of the couple I have to ensure the guys know our boundaries and the club experiences taught me this .

You have to be firm and make it clear if people piss you off . Right from the start . And let me assure you , clubs have equally as many predatory couples as single guys !

utter nonsense."

Oh is it ?

Please enlighten me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?

Oh dear... "

Is that not the right answer?

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By *ertiVogtsMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?

Oh dear...

Is that not the right answer?"

I wouldn't have expected anything else from you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?

Oh dear...

Is that not the right answer?

I wouldn't have expected anything else from you! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?

Oh dear...

Is that not the right answer?"

We like em small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me sad that lots of single men, regardless of their ethnic background, have a propensity to disregard proper etiquette. It just makes things all the harder for genuine, respectful guys

20 guys are stood watching us fuck, enjoying it and wanking (a good thing), one comes over and tries to shove his cheesy dick in our face (a bad thing) - which of the 20 guys do we remember from that night...

The one with the biggest cock?

Oh dear...

Is that not the right answer?

We like em small"

Big all round sigh of relief from many men on Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

When I read a post by you where you are not white knighting it I'll be truly shocked

and if you knew me then you'd know glos are probably the last people i'd ever be "white knighting" for.... I think the is the first time i've agreed with them on anything......

Fabio never white knights. Every post is bloody true, that's the whole 3 years I've been on these forums. "

That's actually not true. He white knights on loads. But on this occasion he's bang on, as I'm sure where gloswingers. I expect someone with 3 years clubbing experience knows what they were talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

however a piece of advice we got early on in swinging, don't frequent clubs without a licensed bar as they get all there income from the entry fees and as such maybe a little less choosy about who they let in! "

I would disagree with that. We've been to lots of different clubs all over the country. All the guys have been respectful. Some have been 'keen' but absolutely fine when we've asked them to tame it down a bit.

The only club we had problems with guys not taking "no" for an answer was a club with an alcohol licence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest. A club in which people are readily able to drink i'd be more wary of actually. Okay, I don't drink but people lose their inhibitions and boundaries after a couple of drinks.

I think that itself is something to be wary of especially in a swingers club. If someones had one too many to drink, they're not themselves no more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest. A club in which people are readily able to drink i'd be more wary of actually. Okay, I don't drink but people lose their inhibitions and boundaries after a couple of drinks.

I think that itself is something to be wary of especially in a swingers club. If someones had one too many to drink, they're not themselves no more.

"

We've seen many more d*unken women than men. In fact I can only think of 2 d*unk men in all the clubs we've been to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to Ab Fabs on the night mentioned by Plymgymguy...and it was awful. In fact quite a few regulars were complaining too. I certainly would never go on a singles night again. I felt if I had bent over to pick up a penny, I would of had 20 guys there, waiting!!!! It was truly awful..

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If you mean yesterday I reported one guy who wouldn't take no for an answer from my friend 3 times. He was read the riot act but I'd like there to be a simple list of etiquette in reception that can be shown to new people (all not just single guys) and reminded to guys who come in as a group as I've seen that can encourage bolder behaviour. That happened last week but I read them the riot act myself

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

Surely a club should be a friendly and fun environment for anyone and all to play with whomever they please.

Sounds like the OP has had an unexpectedly poor experience and honestly I would be shocked to see people condoning that sort of behaviour.

Any club worth anything should be approachable and you should comfortable enough to report such behaviours. By not reporting you are only adding to the problem.

This sort of behaviour was one of my biggest fears when I started attending a club recently, but I am 100% confident that if I made a complaint it would be dealt with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was a few weeks ago...not been back since..

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"To be honest. A club in which people are readily able to drink i'd be more wary of actually. Okay, I don't drink but people lose their inhibitions and boundaries after a couple of drinks.

I think that itself is something to be wary of especially in a swingers club. If someones had one too many to drink, they're not themselves no more.

We've seen many more d*unken women than men. In fact I can only think of 2 d*unk men in all the clubs we've been to. "

May sound sexist - but I suspect this would either be down to the men driving to clubs or the fact that women won't ever suffer from 'brewers droop'!!

The times we've seen people over indulge have tended to have been at BYO clubs rather than those with normal bar facilities. Whether that's down to cost or not may be a factor - it's easy to buy a bottle of spirits for a tenner as opposed to buying the same quantity drink by drink. But people can, and often do, have drinks before setting foot in a club.

Over indulgence of alcohol can be linked to adverse behaviour - but isn't always the cause of problems. There are as many well behaved, happy drinkers as antisocial - it's down to the individual. Most decent clubs will respond to d*unkenness in the same way as any vanilla bar/club and refuse service/access and eject anyone behaving badly.

Whilst there can be a link between drink and bad behaviour it's certainly not the biggest or only cause.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife."

But presumably their is no problem with Brits?

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Manners are totally free and should be used at every chance on here

Best rule - treat others the way you de like robe treated - simple "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

But presumably their is no problem with Brits? "

I probably should have read the entire thread before posting that.

So much casual racism about an issue that is neither race nor gender specific.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

My ex once told me a story that one of her mates once walked out of a sex club because he was so ashamed about the behavior of the men inside. Is this common as I have only bee to one club and have not witnessed such behavior myself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/07/15 20:59:54]

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

Despite never stepping foot in a club, I can only imagine it to possess the dynamics of life on Fab - quite a lot of single guys who think they're owed something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I've had more trouble with couples (predominantly straight, white, and English) at sex clubs than men of any nationality.

But perhaps I'm just an exception.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I've had more trouble with couples (predominantly straight, white, and English) at sex clubs than men of any nationality.

But perhaps I'm just an exception."

No you're not the exception , we've had the same issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a solution that might work. All clubs should let men in for free... Then charge them double for drinks and implement a policy that men have to buy 2 drinks minimum.

I believe this will curb bad behavior because men won't feel entitled to a shag and they won't get d*unk.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Despite never stepping foot in a club, I can only imagine it to possess the dynamics of life on Fab - quite a lot of single guys who think they're owed something."

Dude you seem to talk a lot of sense like you are a guru, I have seen one of your posts on another page and it was meaningful.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

In the clubs that we have been to we haven't seen any trouble. But I find it quite worrying that people who have commented on this thread that own/manage clubs or club nights, seem to be blaming the victim of a sexual assault and "suggesting" that they should play behind locked doors if they don't want to be assaulted.

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By *easehotelCouple
over a year ago

huntingdon,Cambridgeshire


"In the clubs that we have been to we haven't seen any trouble. But I find it quite worrying that people who have commented on this thread that own/manage clubs or club nights, seem to be blaming the victim of a sexual assault and "suggesting" that they should play behind locked doors if they don't want to be assaulted."

Again you seem to be twisting the words to satisfy you're own agenda, this is not what has been said at all, we have a zero tolerance of this kind of behaviour and we ensure all patrons adhere to our strict rules, at no time have we advocated that the victim should play behind closed doors to avoid being assaulted

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"If you mean yesterday I reported one guy who wouldn't take no for an answer from my friend 3 times. He was read the riot act but I'd like there to be a simple list of etiquette in reception that can be shown to new people (all not just single guys) and reminded to guys who come in as a group as I've seen that can encourage bolder behaviour. That happened last week but I read them the riot act myself "

A Swingers Charter!

Of the five clubs I've been to, I've seen this at kind of behaviour at three. It's a shame that those playing have to police their fun from the Zombie Wanking Squad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In the clubs that we have been to we haven't seen any trouble. But I find it quite worrying that people who have commented on this thread that own/manage clubs or club nights, seem to be blaming the victim of a sexual assault and "suggesting" that they should play behind locked doors if they don't want to be assaulted."

At the newbie nights we run we have between 80 and 120 patrons in the building, never had any incidents of poor behaviour as we strictly control the guest list and all attendees know the rules of the club, are explained them and are clear on the consequences, we run a safe, friendly club night, for you to infer anything else by twisting people's words seems rather low, for me to comment further and make disparaging remarks about you would bring me down to that level x

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"In the clubs that we have been to we haven't seen any trouble. But I find it quite worrying that people who have commented on this thread that own/manage clubs or club nights, seem to be blaming the victim of a sexual assault and "suggesting" that they should play behind locked doors if they don't want to be assaulted.

Again you seem to be twisting the words to satisfy you're own agenda, this is not what has been said at all, we have a zero tolerance of this kind of behaviour and we ensure all patrons adhere to our strict rules, at no time have we advocated that the victim should play behind closed doors to avoid being assaulted"

What "agenda" have I got? Someone said they had a unwanted cock shoved in their mouth and a club night organiser said "Go in a room with a door maybe!" which to me is blaming the victim for having the audacity of playing in the open.

Then _easehotel said "just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time" which again, to me, reads as "well it wouldn't have happened if you were in a closed room" To me this is clearly advocating that someone "should play behind closed doors to avoid being assaulted" otherwise why mention about closed doors at all?

The ONLY people in the whole thread who have mentioned playing behind a closed door are a club owner/manager and a club night organiser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people."

What rubbish. There is no such thing as a 'third world mentality'. Third world countries include widely ranging places and cultures that share little in common. They are also populated by millions of individuals with their own attitudes and beliefs that are not wholly defined by their place of origin. This variety of thought and attitude is equally true in the UK, otherwise we would all share the type of bigoted ignorant mentality expressed above, and thankfully we do not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact is it wouldn't happen behind a closed door would it! This is not advocating anything just pointing out a fact! Simple, end of, bye bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife."

A few years ago, I was at a nightclub with my friend. We just wanted to drink, dance, peoplewatch and enjoy ourselves. There were Asian men there, who behaved very badly towards me and her, they wouldnt leave me alone, even though I said not interested go away, security if there was any, did nothing. My friend, who was a larger lady, got in their face and told them to f...k off and leave me and her alone. Spoilt the night for us and we left, they should have been thrown out but they werent.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Fact is it wouldn't happen behind a closed door would it! This is not advocating anything just pointing out a fact! Simple, end of, bye bye "

It still sounds the same to be fair....maybe explain what you really meant might clear it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we will not attend clubs or parties. Male here-I work as a doorman-and can attest that it is at all clubs, not just sex clubs, that aggressive behaviour by foreign men is rife.

I asked a few ladies why they pit no Asians on there profiles and there reply was there behaviour towards women was pushy and aggressive . Not saying its true just saying what i was told

It's the third world mentality mixed with a racist attitude towards white people.

What rubbish. There is no such thing as a 'third world mentality'. Third world countries include widely ranging places and cultures that share little in common. They are also populated by millions of individuals with their own attitudes and beliefs that are not wholly defined by their place of origin. This variety of thought and attitude is equally true in the UK, otherwise we would all share the type of bigoted ignorant mentality expressed above, and thankfully we do not. "

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Fact is it wouldn't happen behind a closed door would it! This is not advocating anything just pointing out a fact! Simple, end of, bye bye "

Sorry we equally read this as it was the ladies fault , equally don't see why should go in a room to avoid it, if in a vanilla club do you have to go dance in the toilet to avoid a man touching you up? Clubs shouldn't read the riot act - they should simply expel and ban any person who does this, single male, or part of a couple. Soon set the standard to be expected. People should be safe to play in a room with 100 men in it - and not have anything happen to them they don't want to, a casual touch from someone that they have their hand removed should be enough to send the message.

Id equally expect a club that sees men following people around in groups to have a word with them and say they need to chill out a bit, or it may equally indicate to the club that the mix of singles vs couples/women is wrong, because there should be plenty of couples for the men to not have 16+ following around.

Finally we've been on single nights to clubs, and generally had no issues, we've played in a room full of men surrounding us, and not a single guy touch, until my partner touched them, and then we told some of them they couldn't while others could, some were acceptable to watch - but touching ewww. However the couple of times we have had a more pressure feeling from single men - then yes I'm afraid everytime they have been either of non British origin, or asian/black, we have however had some great experiences with mixed race couples.

With reference to pushy couples - we've generally found when this been the case, its actually pushy male of the couple.

We do limit our single nights, because of the comments above, but in general by picking the right club, that manages it well, it generally been good, but we do need to be in the right frame of mind, otherwise its easier to go on a couples night. If we were to try a new club, we would always start with a couples night, to get a feel for the place before considering a singles night.

The price for a single male entry is often a deciding factor - if its cheap - then we'll give it a miss.

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

This is my initial reaction to that statement... And again I repeat: If I were to kiss someone in public, does that give a total stranger the right to come up to me and shove their tongue down my throat?

Just because I was having open play with two lads doesn't give other people the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my express permission. I was enjoying what I was doing with a group of friends around me. Could I have done it behind closed doors? Certainly, but because I didn't doesn't mean I'm fair game to everyone.

I genuinely have had no problems at clubs, I have even had a good time on a Bi night, but this incident will not stop me from having fun in the open, I have the right to that at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to explicitly point out to all you nice people not all Asians have so called third world mentality !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is my initial reaction to that statement... And again I repeat: If I were to kiss someone in public, does that give a total stranger the right to come up to me and shove their tongue down my throat?

Just because I was having open play with two lads doesn't give other people the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my express permission. I was enjoying what I was doing with a group of friends around me. Could I have done it behind closed doors? Certainly, but because I didn't doesn't mean I'm fair game to everyone.

I genuinely have had no problems at clubs, I have even had a good time on a Bi night, but this incident will not stop me from having fun in the open, I have the right to that at least. "

Totally agree not sure why you didn't bite his cock when he put it in your mouth or call the police that's what I would have done, of course play in the open that's you're right at no time were we advocating it was your fault for playing in the open the closed door was just a suggestion, unfortunately someone else on this thread has tried to stir things up for his own agenda, end of story, you should not be subjected to this kind of treatment anywhere full stop we were also making the point we have never witnessed incidents like this in all the time with have been to clubs, maybe some need to reiterate and enforce the club rules better x

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"I would like to explicitly point out to all you nice people not all Asians have so called third world mentality ! "

What does that even mean?? I'm Asian

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is my initial reaction to that statement... And again I repeat: If I were to kiss someone in public, does that give a total stranger the right to come up to me and shove their tongue down my throat?

Just because I was having open play with two lads doesn't give other people the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my express permission. I was enjoying what I was doing with a group of friends around me. Could I have done it behind closed doors? Certainly, but because I didn't doesn't mean I'm fair game to everyone.

I genuinely have had no problems at clubs, I have even had a good time on a Bi night, but this incident will not stop me from having fun in the open, I have the right to that at least.

Totally agree not sure why you didn't bite his cock when he put it in your mouth or call the police that's what I would have done, of course play in the open that's you're right at no time were we advocating it was your fault for playing in the open the closed door was just a suggestion, unfortunately someone else on this thread has tried to stir things up for his own agenda, end of story, you should not be subjected to this kind of treatment anywhere full stop we were also making the point we have never witnessed incidents like this in all the time with have been to clubs, maybe some need to reiterate and enforce the club rules better x"

This incident is a lesson learned for me. I've never been in that type of situation, so I didn't know how to react. I also didn't want that incident to ruin a good night for me (as it was my birthday weekend, hence the double blowjob and friends singing happy birthday as that was happening )

I am pretty new to swinging and finding my voice in this all, this is part of my sexual awakening and has allowed me to gain confidence in my own skin. I have become more aware of certain situations and people and I know that this is something I never want to happen again.

I'm sure the next time someone tries to shove their cock in my mouth, my teeth will be at the ready...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to explicitly point out to all you nice people not all Asians have so called third world mentality !

What does that even mean?? I'm Asian "

Mae in now way that is in anyway to offend you. I saw it written on another post.

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"I would like to explicitly point out to all you nice people not all Asians have so called third world mentality !

What does that even mean?? I'm Asian

Mae in now way that is in anyway to offend you. I saw it written on another post."

LOL I know that wasn't aimed at me I genuinely didn't understand what that meant?

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If I'd have seen it Mae I'd have intervened. Sorry this happened to you x

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Merkin, PC police here.

'Third world' is not a politically correct term. I think you'll find its 'developing nations'.

I thank you. As you were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to explicitly point out to all you nice people not all Asians have so called third world mentality !

What does that even mean?? I'm Asian

Mae in now way that is in anyway to offend you. I saw it written on another post.

LOL I know that wasn't aimed at me I genuinely didn't understand what that meant?"

I wont repost it but its here in the thread

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"

I'm sure the next time someone tries to shove their cock in my mouth, my teeth will be at the ready..."

some might enjoy that

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"

I'm sure the next time someone tries to shove their cock in my mouth, my teeth will be at the ready...

some might enjoy that "

Owww Lawd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fact is it wouldn't happen behind a closed door would it! This is not advocating anything just pointing out a fact! Simple, end of, bye bye

Sorry we equally read this as it was the ladies fault , equally don't see why should go in a room to avoid it, if in a vanilla club do you have to go dance in the toilet to avoid a man touching you up? Clubs shouldn't read the riot act - they should simply expel and ban any person who does this, single male, or part of a couple. Soon set the standard to be expected. People should be safe to play in a room with 100 men in it - and not have anything happen to them they don't want to, a casual touch from someone that they have their hand removed should be enough to send the message.

Id equally expect a club that sees men following people around in groups to have a word with them and say they need to chill out a bit, or it may equally indicate to the club that the mix of singles vs couples/women is wrong, because there should be plenty of couples for the men to not have 16+ following around.

Finally we've been on single nights to clubs, and generally had no issues, we've played in a room full of men surrounding us, and not a single guy touch, until my partner touched them, and then we told some of them they couldn't while others could, some were acceptable to watch - but touching ewww. However the couple of times we have had a more pressure feeling from single men - then yes I'm afraid everytime they have been either of non British origin, or asian/black, we have however had some great experiences with mixed race couples.

With reference to pushy couples - we've generally found when this been the case, its actually pushy male of the couple.

We do limit our single nights, because of the comments above, but in general by picking the right club, that manages it well, it generally been good, but we do need to be in the right frame of mind, otherwise its easier to go on a couples night. If we were to try a new club, we would always start with a couples night, to get a feel for the place before considering a singles night.

The price for a single male entry is often a deciding factor - if its cheap - then we'll give it a miss."

Great post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!"

Yeah, that's not acceptable for you to say that.

It's not acceptable to put your penis in someones mouth without asking. No matter where they are. It's sexual assault at it's mildest. I'd personally consider it rape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because a minority of single guys act like this, many couples (like us) won't go to clubs except on couples only nights - even though we're otherwise inclined to have some fun with single guys

Another instance of the bad ones spoiling it for those of us who are polite, respectful and very often ignored."

We agree, but to the comment you quoted we do not. In our experiences there is probably 1 respectful, decent guy for every 5 asshats.

We have met some lovely single guys but have come across far more rude, ignorant guys in the process.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

of course play in the open that's you're right at no time were we advocating it was your fault for playing in the open the closed door was just a suggestion, unfortunately someone else on this thread has tried to stir things up for his own agenda,"

Is

A few of us questioned what you wrote , accusing one of them as having an agenda is a bit much.

Personally when people have talked about clubs and people following them round wanking I have wondered and said why not use a private room if you don't want people watching.... but this scenario isn't the same thing at all and shouldn't be condoned in any club. To then be told to use a private room if you don't it to happen is either you not reading the post properly or you saying yeah these things happen so if you don't it to use a private room.

I am hoping you didn't read the original post properly

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"This is why I go with someone I know and trust. I was at a club recently and was happily giving a double blowjob to two northern lads and this spanish guy comes along with his friend thinks he has the right to shove in, put his cock in my mouth and cum. I was not happy. He even had the audacity to want to fuck me which I declined and he resorted to becoming racist against me and my friend. And our group kicked him and his friend out of the room. I still enjoy clubs, but know what to avoid. Lessons learned

Go in a room with a door maybe!

So you're saying that me not being in a locked room gives someone the right to shove their cock in my mouth without my consent?...

That was to the point at all in no way were do we condone the aforementioned actions, just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time

Agreed what's going on with club management that allows this to happen?

Well it sounds like the club management in some clubs is recommending they lock themselves away for their own protection

A twisting of words me thinks and was not what was said perhaps you should re read, The club you are referring to has a zero tolerance on this kind of behaviour and this is made ubundantly clear to all patrons perhaps that way we've never seen any incident like this ever happen xx

The section I am referring to is "maybe think about trying a closed room next time". The way I read this is that it is being suggested that to stop a man shoving his dick on your mouth, you should be in a closed room. Is that not how you read it? How do others read this?

No it was a suggestion to try a closed room, just a suggestion, not sure how you can stop this kind of behaviour in an open play area (having never seen it happen I'm not sure how I would deal with it, maybe tell the guy to f@&k off and if he forces his cock in my mouth call the police) but one way is to go in a closed room, no undercurrent implied or suggested no blame on the OP implied or suggested, end of....

Okay. My apologies xx

No need to apologise some people on this thread (not you) just read into statements to fit there own personal that agenda, It always troubles us that this ever happens at clubs as we've benn over 90 times to put local club and never seen this happen as rules are in place and a zero tolerance, however a piece of advice we got early on in swinging, don't frequent clubs without a licensed bar as they get all there income from the entry fees and as such maybe a little less choosy about who they let in! "

This vehicle has well n truly reversed, lol.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"In the clubs that we have been to we haven't seen any trouble. But I find it quite worrying that people who have commented on this thread that own/manage clubs or club nights, seem to be blaming the victim of a sexual assault and "suggesting" that they should play behind locked doors if they don't want to be assaulted.

Again you seem to be twisting the words to satisfy you're own agenda, this is not what has been said at all, we have a zero tolerance of this kind of behaviour and we ensure all patrons adhere to our strict rules, at no time have we advocated that the victim should play behind closed doors to avoid being assaulted

What "agenda" have I got? Someone said they had a unwanted cock shoved in their mouth and a club night organiser said "Go in a room with a door maybe!" which to me is blaming the victim for having the audacity of playing in the open.

Then _easehotel said "just pointing out that maybe think about trying a closed room next time" which again, to me, reads as "well it wouldn't have happened if you were in a closed room" To me this is clearly advocating that someone "should play behind closed doors to avoid being assaulted" otherwise why mention about closed doors at all?

The ONLY people in the whole thread who have mentioned playing behind a closed door are a club owner/manager and a club night organiser. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was shocked and puzzled at some of the behaviour of single lads at a certain well established London Swingers Club.

Actions ranging from sitting/laying within an inch of a couple as soon as they sit down.

About 16 single guys following every couple that moved. Some over taking others to try and get closer to the front of the following queue.

People persistently shoving me in the dark room so they could get nearer to a lady. Lads trying to carrying on with a lady in the dark room after the couple have said no more thank you, resulting in the Male of the couple having to lose his temper.

This is exactly why I would never go to a club

Another guy trying to manoeuvre himself in to position to fuck a man's wife even though he had told clearly twice that he can play with her boobs but he is not fucking her.

I've got to say this behaviour was not conducted by all.

But if I am totally honest the behaviour was predominantly by younger lads with foreign backgrounds, I'm not saying all lads from this grouping acted like that.

Im puzzled if this behaviour stems from a lack of manners in all walks of life by these men, or a lack of respect for females, where they think they can take liberties. Or whether I am just to respectful and too well mannered.

The bottom line is that these acts of bad etiquette and manners just detract from what should be a fun night for all."

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