FabSwingers.com forum: Dom Interveiw Questions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're interviewing someone, what, really??! Did they have to send in a CV??!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes, covering letter and CV

It's been played out very realistic - quite a powerful role play

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

Why are you seeking a new Dom ?

What elements of you submissiveness do you wish to explore more?

Will you get s tribute tattoo / piercing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything you would like to ask???

Every interview EVER.

hate interviews, feel like a total fraud telling people exactly what you think they want to hear

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance "

So you have gone to great lengths to get find people that interest you and you dont know what to ask them. And on top of that, you want a forum of people who nether know you or your interviewees to pose questions for you?

I would love to see the interviewees faces if they were ever to read this thread, as it would suggest that you do not have a clue what you are doing.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

My question to all those proclaiming to be Dom is: What do you have in your toy box?

Most admit to not actually having one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much of a dom if you need to take direction from strangers on the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question to all those proclaiming to be Dom is: What do you have in your toy box?

Most admit to not actually having one

Oooo good question. Except my Dom makes me keep the toy box(es) then the sadistic sod sets me tasks using them.... yes love, really enjoyed the dentist with butt plug today... thanks!

(So in trouble if he reads this!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are your three favourite fantasies and what are your three worst fears, what are your three deepest sexual fantasies.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"My question to all those proclaiming to be Dom is: What do you have in your toy box?

Most admit to not actually having one

Oooo good question. Except my Dom makes me keep the toy box(es) then the sadistic sod sets me tasks using them.... yes love, really enjoyed the dentist with butt plug today... thanks!

(So in trouble if he reads this!)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Question 1) Please will you untie me? This is MY home!.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question 1) Please will you untie me? This is MY home!.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your safeish word,what's your really safe word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't ask or interview... You do!!! The act ensures you find out all you need x

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

I am speechless,I have lived as a slave and been a serious sub,and would never expect this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a foot long sub?

In what order does the salad go on?

What managerial skills do you have?

What makes you different to all other applicants?

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Wannabee Doms blindly jumping on the 50 shades of shite wagon boils my piss.

I could be wrong. You could be tooled up to the max and know it all but fishing for ideas from strangers shows you've a lot of learning to do.

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

There is great value in negotiating expectations, limits, safety and aspirations.

Negotiating at the start and periodically is sane and healthy. It's not just what the Dom wants but what the sub will offer. The sub has the ultimate power of no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see how this could be fun to play out with someone. I'm not submissive in fact quite the opposite.

I'd suggest not being so obviously sexual in your questioning. Put then outside what they expect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then."

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then."
if any dominant tried to take control of a sub on a first chat I hope the sub would give them a look as If To say really.. get up and excuse themselves and look for a more respectful person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance "

Sorry I know its already been said but

INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

This got me wondering whether the old question 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' still gets asked...

Good luck with the interview...I imagine you will know whether they are the right person fairly quickly and the questions will flow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

Sorry I know its already been said but

INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it "

Fun?

It's not supposed to be fun young lady, this a serious business you know

Or is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

"
Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it "

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else. "

Is it? Now I don't claim to be an expert in Dom/sub so I have no idea but is Dom/sub just role play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

Mmmmm stood with feet parted and hands behind back. He'd be wearing a suit and would pace the room...

There would be long silences and occasions when he'd stand close enough to feel him but he wouldn't touch. The energy would be like electric.

Hell I need me some role play

(In all seriousness I would never do that for someone I'd just met)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

Is it? Now I don't claim to be an expert in Dom/sub so I have no idea but is Dom/sub just role play?"

Sounds like theirs is. I think you've got to go up the ranks before you get your leather trousers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" INTERVIEWING

Way to go to take all the fun out of it

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

Is it? Now I don't claim to be an expert in Dom/sub so I have no idea but is Dom/sub just role play?"

The op said in his second post on this thread they've been role playing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

Mmmmm stood with feet parted and hands behind back. He'd be wearing a suit and would pace the room...

There would be long silences and occasions when he'd stand close enough to feel him but he wouldn't touch. The energy would be like electric.

Hell I need me some role play

(In all seriousness I would never do that for someone I'd just met)"

I would get them something simple like spelling or maths. With really easy ones thn suddenly a really hard one. It's not good if you get them wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

Mmmmm stood with feet parted and hands behind back. He'd be wearing a suit and would pace the room...

There would be long silences and occasions when he'd stand close enough to feel him but he wouldn't touch. The energy would be like electric.

Hell I need me some role play

(In all seriousness I would never do that for someone I'd just met)

I would get them something simple like spelling or maths. With really easy ones thn suddenly a really hard one. It's not good if you get them wrong.

So now we are D/s, boss and head teacher role playing all in one scene? Sod it I'll go with it.

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By *ristol HellfireMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance "

Are you prepared for me to stick hat-pins through your breasts?

Seriously?

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By *ristol HellfireMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else. "

mmm ..... role play with the potential to inflict serious damage or, actually, kill some-one if you do not know what you are doing.

Safe, sane and consensual.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

mmm ..... role play with the potential to inflict serious damage or, actually, kill some-one if you do not know what you are doing.

Safe, sane and consensual."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been owned for 2 years now, if the Dom and sub connect it will flow.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

mmm ..... role play with the potential to inflict serious damage or, actually, kill some-one if you do not know what you are doing.

Safe, sane and consensual."

Sexual activity can end up in injury or death occasionally, but people don't predict that outcome when swingers ask for advice on sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not? It's role play. No different from nurses and patient, or anything else.

mmm ..... role play with the potential to inflict serious damage or, actually, kill some-one if you do not know what you are doing.

Safe, sane and consensual."

Hat pins through the nipples, serious damage or death... Right...

Don't think you've quite picked up on the vibe of the OP's OP, or the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

Mmmmm stood with feet parted and hands behind back. He'd be wearing a suit and would pace the room...

There would be long silences and occasions when he'd stand close enough to feel him but he wouldn't touch. The energy would be like electric.

Hell I need me some role play

(In all seriousness I would never do that for someone I'd just met)

I would get them something simple like spelling or maths. With really easy ones thn suddenly a really hard one. It's not good if you get them wrong.

I would LOVE a spelling test. Getting things right and then perhaps spanked if I get one wrong is win win for me

However I'm sure a "real" D/S will be along soon to tell me that's ridiculous and I shouldn't even think of such a thing and for me to even do so means I'm a vanilla 50 shades reading heathen who might KILL someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance "

Do you mean, like, a sexy-hot-naked interrogation scene where you half drown them, assault them, torture them and see how they come out the other side?

Or do you mean you're going to sit in a pub and you're going to drill them with boring questions instead of having a chat and actually getting to know each other?

Cause I've got loads of ideas for the first option...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

Do you mean, like, a sexy-hot-naked interrogation scene where you half drown them, assault them, torture them and see how they come out the other side?

Or do you mean you're going to sit in a pub and you're going to drill them with boring questions instead of having a chat and actually getting to know each other?

Cause I've got loads of ideas for the first option..."

I'm pretty sure he means more the latter, but we're trying to change it to more of the former

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

Do you mean, like, a sexy-hot-naked interrogation scene where you half drown them, assault them, torture them and see how they come out the other side?

Or do you mean you're going to sit in a pub and you're going to drill them with boring questions instead of having a chat and actually getting to know each other?

Cause I've got loads of ideas for the first option...

I'm pretty sure he means more the latter, but we're trying to change it to more of the former

but more interview which gets sexy-hot-naked, rather than an East German Cold War interrogation which gets sexy-hot-naked... I thin. But we've kind of taken over and gone with what we thought, so fire away with your ideas

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Instead of trying to humiliate the man, why not give some advice....if not, maybe ignore the thread.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance "

Hello,

I've been interviewed by potential Doms before. The sorts of things I've been asked are....

What are my current hard and soft limits, what are my fetish needs, what would I like to try, what kit I have, what kind of sub I think I am, what kind of Dom I'm looking for, what my understanding of D/s is.

I've been asked to give a fantasy scene, describe a day of debauchary, give opinions of serving, 1950s lifestyle.

It's about scene setting and anticipation. Also about getting an Insight into a potential sub. I'm not surprised when I get 'interviewed' at all.

There is another site which is more fetish based. They have groups where Doms share best practice. So you can find questions, BDSM checklists to go through with a new sub and also task ideas.

It's pretty common on the fet scene to ask for ideas and share things so ignore all the others that are giving you grief.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Firstly thank you to all the positive responses

To the negative 'know it alls' I did say I was looking to refresh my questions implying that I did have a list, further implying that I had done this before

Perhaps when scratching at the surface of a thread to troll, I suggest you read a little deeper, and you may even have something positive to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly thank you to all the positive responses

To the negative 'know it alls' I did say I was looking to refresh my questions implying that I did have a list, further implying that I had done this before

Perhaps when scratching at the surface of a thread to troll, I suggest you read a little deeper, and you may even have something positive to say."

I'd be interested to see your list, it's a type of play I've not done before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

where do you see yourself in 5 years.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

If I was you, what question would I not want to be asked?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly thank you to all the positive responses

To the negative 'know it alls' I did say I was looking to refresh my questions implying that I did have a list, further implying that I had done this before

Perhaps when scratching at the surface of a thread to troll, I suggest you read a little deeper, and you may even have something positive to say.

I'd be interested to see your list, it's a type of play I've not done before."

Same here. I'm not Dom or sub, but I like playing games.

(not suggesting that people who do this for real are just playing a game!)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Firstly thank you to all the positive responses

To the negative 'know it alls' I did say I was looking to refresh my questions implying that I did have a list, further implying that I had done this before

Perhaps when scratching at the surface of a thread to troll, I suggest you read a little deeper, and you may even have something positive to say."

What questions have you got... we need to see the kind of scenes you have in mind here.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Just to give you a scenario that I experienced....

I spoke with a potential dom for three weeks. He was a lot older and experienced. Very traditional. Enjoyed protocol and the ceremony of D/s. I was a novice sub.

After three weeks of chatting online I arranged to go to his hotel room expecting to play. I was instructed to go into his room, make myself a drink and then wait blindfolded.

The anticipation was electric. I could see all his belongings, smell all his toiletries where he had freshly showered in the bathroom but never met him.

I stood as instructed, undressed in the corner of the room with a blindfold on.

He eventually came in and sat on a chair close by. He then interviewed me. And then he inspected my body. It lasted about an hour and a half. He advised that he would give me feedback the following day before finally removing the blindfold, saying hello face to face, asking me to dress and telling me to leave.

We ventured onto a d/s relationship after that.

It was a strange experience. Very exhilarating. I enjoy feeling awkward and embarrassed. I loved just listening to his voice. Answering his questions.

It was one of my favourite meets.

It's just about setting the scene. Setting expectations. A huge play on anticipation.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Just to give you a scenario that I experienced....

I spoke with a potential dom for three weeks. He was a lot older and experienced. Very traditional. Enjoyed protocol and the ceremony of D/s. I was a novice sub.

After three weeks of chatting online I arranged to go to his hotel room expecting to play. I was instructed to go into his room, make myself a drink and then wait blindfolded.

The anticipation was electric. I could see all his belongings, smell all his toiletries where he had freshly showered in the bathroom but never met him.

I stood as instructed, undressed in the corner of the room with a blindfold on.

We ventured onto a d/s relationship after that.

It was a strange experience. Very exhilarating. I enjoy feeling awkward and embarrassed. I loved just listening to his voice. Answering his questions.

It was one of my favourite meets.

It's just about setting the scene. Setting expectations. A huge play on anticipation. "

You spoke online with a dom for 3 weeks. The only time you met him, was a blind meet in his hotel room. He then questioned you blindfold. You had no idea if any pictures he may have sent you matched to him in person.

As far as safety online, this has to be one of the craziest things to do in the real world. I hope you can appreciate my perspective here.

Not only did you assume submission, you allowed yourself from the outset to be dominated by somebody you did not know. You had no clue what the interview was going to entail, or where it was going to lead. You had no idea what he looked like, and once undressed what he was going to have you do. Yes you were in a hotel but that is hardly a back up plan for personal safety.

You admit yourself that you were naive, so why titillate an audience of impressionable 'doms' that 'this is what you can do to subs', it sounds like you came out well, but for me, sometimes experience should well be left with a smile.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Seaside Sussex

"What's your safeish word,what's your really safe word. "

and why?...

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

*you had no real idea of his experience either, as this is extremely hard to judge.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Just to give you a scenario that I experienced....

I spoke with a potential dom for three weeks. He was a lot older and experienced. Very traditional. Enjoyed protocol and the ceremony of D/s. I was a novice sub.

After three weeks of chatting online I arranged to go to his hotel room expecting to play. I was instructed to go into his room, make myself a drink and then wait blindfolded.

The anticipation was electric. I could see all his belongings, smell all his toiletries where he had freshly showered in the bathroom but never met him.

I stood as instructed, undressed in the corner of the room with a blindfold on.

We ventured onto a d/s relationship after that.

It was a strange experience. Very exhilarating. I enjoy feeling awkward and embarrassed. I loved just listening to his voice. Answering his questions.

It was one of my favourite meets.

It's just about setting the scene. Setting expectations. A huge play on anticipation.

As far as safety online, this has to be one of the craziest things to do in the real world. I hope you can appreciate my perspective here.

A blind meet isn't an unusual concept. For this guy I'm talking about he was recommended to me by a female mentor I had. She was a sub that ran a munch and arranged for me to speak with him. I had his full name and phone number, address and job info. I also knew he ran a munch elsewhere. During the three weeks we spoke via phone, he gave me trust building tasks and also things to research. Some of the questions in interview where asking my opinion on these topics.

I'm merely saying interviews in my experience, have been regular with many Doms. I even recently engaged in play at a fetish event with a well respected and specialist dom and before public play took place, we literally had ten minutes for him to reel off a zillion questions on safety, health, preferences, limits etc. before we could play.

I don't find this type of interview boring. I can find it either a necessity or actually rather exciting.

I don't judge who is a 'wannabe Dom' nor do I think I was naive with a lucky escape. I was perfectly satisfied with my safety and the references the guy received before hand and the procedures that were in place before and after.

I regularly go into hardcore BDSM play with people that are not regular play partners. I may be restrained, blindfolded, gagged, hooded etc and I am perfectly satisfied with how I do things.

My only bad experience actually happened in a swinging club where you would expect to be safe. That was my rookie mistake for mistrusting staff.

I'm more than happy to detail all my safety procedures for 'wannabes' as you put it.

Oh and as far as giving instance submission. To some level I do yes. I regularly play at events with people I come across, friends of friends, people known for particular skills and I jump at the chance of subbing for them in a scene. Again, not uncommon.

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

So please don't judge my practises or submission. "

I wasn't I was merely commenting that the scene isn't a norm and people should always vet practice safety when meeting anyone online. BDSM does involve harder play, so safety should be a pre-requisite. You stated yourself that you were naive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would much rather have an interview process than have a man think it's ok to ram a wand in my vagina,or his hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's your safeish word,what's your really safe word.

and why?..."

Because some people like pain,strangulation,restriction etc and the giver may not know how far is too far. For instance,a crack across the back with a belt will hurt a lot but be sufferable after a second or two. Safeish word will allow the receiver to recover a bit(if they want to),ready for the next one. When it gets too much the safe word is used. This doesn't have to be called a safe word. I just said stop when I say,and he said of course I will. After 5 years he knows how much to push me by my physical reactions. Being tied up and gagged you need a body movement to show you are at your limit.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

Oh sorry.... I wasn't privy to the statistics you have that determine what scene isn't 'a norm'

I may have naively thought I was turning up for sexual play and found out pleasantly so that I was turning up for a formal conversation and (what I've come across as fairly common in humiliation play) a body inspection. But I've quickly leant never to expect and predict dominant folk, especially the clever ones that want to stimulate their sub.

How dangerous. There was me offering myself for sex and all he wanted to do was talk and look. I've now unleashed that idea with wannabe Doms that they too could coerce a newbie sub into answering questions.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Seaside Sussex

"What's your safeish word,what's your really safe word.

and why?...

Thank you Ms Loveley.

We probably all get the ides behind the safe word or phrase. (my safety phrase is "Anne Widdecombe" repeated three times). My question was to find out how they arrived at theirs and give the interviewee a chance to tell of their experiences of that scene. I believe it's quite a common interview technique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer?

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer? "

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer? "

which is safer ... meeting in a club where people see the participants, where people can potentially intervene, where ID is asked for (usually upon membership to the club), where the d/s have had chance to have a chat prior to go over limits. You are talking about two completely different scenarios. You are now making the judgement that someone is a wannabe dom and someone has been abused when you dont know their experience or limits.

The club/dungeon/public meet as opposed to the: stripped naked, blindfolded, met after 3 weeks of online chats, not having an idea of their experience, being caught up with a scene because of naivety, submitting to someone hiding in a toilet, not having an idea what they look like, not knowing what they look like physically, and then being anxious that you pass their test, all because you smelled like they had a shower? Putting your hopes of security in booking ditty dat com? lol That would be a Nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would trust the opinion and judgement of a trusted friend or mentor far more than the judgement of staff in a club who are strangers to me - not even for playing D/S but for putting myself in any kind of vulnerable position with anyone.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer?

Like I said, my one and only bad experience has been in a club with the house dom.

I don't know where you are conjuring up that he was hiding in the toilet from. He was in the hotel bar.

I said I was a novice sub. Formally, yes I was. Naive that I thought he would fuck me and he didn't.

I haven't made any judgements about wannabe Doms. It was you that said I had somehow encouraged wannabes into interviewing subs by revealing my experience.

You also mocked the OP for asking questions. I'd like to meet these mythical dominant people that magically know everything about BDSM and D/s because they were born into it. They can read the minds of their subs without questions and wouldn't dare show weakness by drawing upon the creativity, best practise and experiences of others.

OP, the interview scenario sounds fun. You can make it as light or as ceremonial as you want. You can take it a step further into interrogation and punishment play.

BDSM for me about communication and information. There are loads of blogs and sites that can give you ideas. Not all dominants are creative geniuses and everyone has to start somewhere.

I hope your scene goes well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not much of a dom if you need to take direction from strangers on the internet

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Passive aggressive much? Did I direct any of my comments at you? I have a personal distaste for 50 shades but each to their own.

I appreciate my first message may have come across harsh but I was a pro Domme for ten years, lifestyle for longer. Do I know everything about BDSM? No, but know a thing or two. I've also known numerous female subs who have been abused by newbie male Doms so my back is instantly up when someone who appears inexperienced asks an obvious question. Sorry OP but you're opening question, without any backstory, reads as naive.

Only you know what will work the best as the interests, desires, chemistry, limits etc are different for each partner.

The best book I've come across for D/s, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller. Great source for ideas and worth the £15 it's currently going for on a popular online shop.

(Also read The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Passive aggressive much? Did I direct any of my comments at you? I have a personal distaste for 50 shades but each to their own.

Only you know what will work the best as the interests, desires, chemistry, limits etc are different for each partner.

The best book I've come across for D/s, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller. Great source for ideas and worth the £15 it's currently going for on a popular online shop.

(Also read The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice)

I would have gone for sarky rather than passive aggressive. And it wasn't personally aimed at you or any particular poster, please don't take my sense of humour personally. But it's just always the theme of these threads that anyone asking for advice or ideas gets shot down straight away, and I don't think it's necessary.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Passive aggressive much? Did I direct any of my comments at you? I have a personal distaste for 50 shades but each to their own.

Only you know what will work the best as the interests, desires, chemistry, limits etc are different for each partner.

The best book I've come across for D/s, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller. Great source for ideas and worth the £15 it's currently going for on a popular online shop.

(Also read The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice)

Fair dos

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer?

Like I said, my one and only bad experience has been in a club with the house dom.

I don't know where you are conjuring up that he was hiding in the toilet from. He was in the hotel bar.

I said I was a novice sub. Formally, yes I was. Naive that I thought he would fuck me and he didn't.

I haven't made any judgements about wannabe Doms. It was you that said I had somehow encouraged wannabes into interviewing subs by revealing my experience.

OP, the interview scenario sounds fun. You can make it as light or as ceremonial as you want. You can take it a step further into interrogation and punishment play.

BDSM for me about communication and information. There are loads of blogs and sites that can give you ideas. Not all dominants are creative geniuses and everyone has to start somewhere.

I hope your scene goes well.

If you read the majority of the replies on here - they are mocking. This is probably one of the greatest examples of a wannabe dom thread there is, as no Dom would ask such a question!

If you read his replies, the OP advises he is well versed in BDSM and just needs a refresher - he is very much the experienced practitioner! This is why questions are being posed as to, 'why ask an audience who knows neither them or any of their interests'.

To mention, you revelling in your experience (as good as it sounds), inviting even punishment play, on interview - when you do not know limits is not for anyone to suggest other than the D & S. Again any Dom would know this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All Doms are wannabees until they have done it. Makes me laugh when people think they belong to an elite class because they know all the "rules" and have been to a club,and want to tell others how they should be doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did that Nancy Sinatra song go?

bang bang, he shot me down

Bang bang, I hit the ground

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a dom or very assertive whatever label you wish to use and never have I come across this and fact you ask for others help seems slightly odd esp re interview bit.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

So please don't judge my practises or submission.

I've personally seen more problems with dungeons type rooms in clubs with wannabes with constraints and a cane.

With weeks of conversation and a neutral hotel setting (which requires id to book) or a random room in a random club, tied to the wall with random blokes coming and going.

Which is safer?

Like I said, my one and only bad experience has been in a club with the house dom.

I don't know where you are conjuring up that he was hiding in the toilet from. He was in the hotel bar.

I said I was a novice sub. Formally, yes I was. Naive that I thought he would fuck me and he didn't.

I haven't made any judgements about wannabe Doms. It was you that said I had somehow encouraged wannabes into interviewing subs by revealing my experience.

OP, the interview scenario sounds fun. You can make it as light or as ceremonial as you want. You can take it a step further into interrogation and punishment play.

BDSM for me about communication and information. There are loads of blogs and sites that can give you ideas. Not all dominants are creative geniuses and everyone has to start somewhere.

I hope your scene goes well.

If you read the majority of the replies on here - they are mocking. This is probably one of the greatest examples of a wannabe dom thread there is, as no Dom would ask such a question!

You're post made me chuckle.

I suggested ways to develop the scene. They would know limits because it probably would have been a question.

I love how you can speak on behalf of all Doms. I can tell you know Doms ask such questions.

We did a scene a while back. An interrogation scene. Two female Dommes and a male sub. We actually rehearsed part of the scene beforehand in preparation (the two Dommes) and we sat and planned questions because I didn't want to rely on being able to do it spontaneously because one small break of the scene would have ruined it.

I've never done interrogation before and sought advice from my male mentor.

So please, people reading this thread, don't feel ridiculed for asking questions or asking for help. It is common place for people on the fetish scene to share ideas. That's the whole point of a munch! To socialise with the like minded, share ideas, best practised, find out where to get recommended kit, learn how to do different techniques.

It's also quite common for Doms to have specialist areas. For example, someone maybe really into and skilled with rope but never really do impact play and wouldn't know how to use a flogger. Or many tops are massively into spanking and punishment play but wouldn't know where to begin with predicament bondage.

There was recently a flogging demonstration at a club I wanted to attend but couldn't. An experience Domme was going to show flogger techniques. I can use a flogger and my bf can use a flogger on me. Are we skilled? No. I wanted to go and learn more. I had questions to ask. Do you think if we had asked them to the Domme giving the demo that she would have turned round and said.... Omg you're clearly not a dom if you have to ask how to use a flogger?! A proper Dom would just know!

I personally massively avoid people that claim to know all because it just comes from within. I just don't like that 'I AM DOM, I JUST DO!' Attitude. Rings alarm bells for me.

And my experience on the scene, from running fetish events, pro Domming, attending munches and clubs and socialising heavily on the fetish scene is that no sub, no dom and no kinkster is the same. Any BDSM thread will tell you that communication between Dom and sub is the key. So you're communicating with your sub and choosing to do it formally in an interview style. Good for you. Need some inspiration with questions? Of course the forum should be a good place to start. It's just a shame that so many people criticised you. Honestly, ignore them.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Grrr apologies for the typos. Essay writing with half closed sleepy eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would ask "competency" based questions, targeted around what you've discussed about the subs role and responsibilities.

For example:

Can you tell me about a time when, you've (insert aspect of the sub role)

The candidate should use a specific example, rather than a generalised answer.

Obvious opening questions could be "why have applied for this role? "Can you tell me about the role and responsibility?", "what would your previous dom say about you?"

You could also ask questions around strengths and weaknesses.

As a general point, you may have to print, to get a more expanded answer, if the candidate isn't particularly experienced at interview.

Don't forget to ask if they have any questions at the end - if this fits in with the sub-dom thing.

As a final point, and if you wanted to do this in a professional way, make short notes during the interview, and give feedback later, with a follow-up call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just don't like that 'I AM DOM, I JUST DO!' Attitude. Rings alarm bells for me."

Aye. I don't like or trust that attitude in any area of work or life.

It's normally (not exclusively) the young gobshite males who've been doing something for 6 months who may have potential, but ruin it for themselves by acting like a complete twat. And that is definitely something I've been guilty of 15-20 years ago. Hopefully less so now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

It's mental stimulation alongside physical. I find many vanilla sexual practises quite crazy. That I giggle about because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Still understand the psychology of others though and why they want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Why? I'm not Dom/Sub either, but why shouldn't they ask for advice and ideas? Are all Doms born that way and automatically know exactly what to do in every situation?

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

Firstly I'm sorry I don't have anything valuable to add to the OP's list but the scenario sounds great if that's your thing.

My comment is really only to express my amusement at responders who have skim read or only part read the OP and feel it helpful to jump in with their firm views on why it's wrong, stupid, dangerous etc.

You have to love the supportive nature of t'internet.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

I've got to admit, I tend to find people who think they know everything, often know nothing, by the very nature of what they think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow I never envisaged such a response

Again, I'd like to thank the positive posts above and PMs I received

And now to the haters, you ask if I'm experienced why should I request help ?? Trolls please read again - where did I use the word experienced ? I could have been a Dom to several subs but with my latest one - I'd still be forever learning, I would not ever class myself as experienced.

Perhaps your own words of negative wisdom have tripped you up ??

You may continue to look down your noses at me, from a simple request, but all along your true colours are showing and being seen by the masses

I bow my in-experienced head before your Dom expertise, the expertise that you were born worth, the expertise that you never had to read up on, educate yourself on, seek advice from the fet community on, conduct research with your sub with because your are a 'off the shelf' Dom, you have a checklist and you have a tick against each box.

I whereas see myself as an ever learning bespoke Dom, who caters for each individual sub or lady I meet.

Thank you for you all responses, it's been an eye opener for the blind, I've an exiting afternoon ahead xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*exciting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, it's his and their fantasy. Give the fella some ideas and a bit less grief.

Not that I'm particularly experienced in this, if you haven't already discussed boundaries (potential boundaries and definite boundaries) do that.

Then change what she expects: She's there for a sub interview, don't ask her anything. Take control there and then.

Oooo an instant strip and inspection

Then interview naked. In full view of the window.

Mmmmm stood with feet parted and hands behind back. He'd be wearing a suit and would pace the room...

There would be long silences and occasions when he'd stand close enough to feel him but he wouldn't touch. The energy would be like electric.

Hell I need me some role play

(In all seriousness I would never do that for someone I'd just met)

I would get them something simple like spelling or maths. With really easy ones thn suddenly a really hard one. It's not good if you get them wrong.

I would LOVE a spelling test. Getting things right and then perhaps spanked if I get one wrong is win win for me

DeathByBadSpelling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All Doms are wannabees until they have done it. Makes me laugh when people think they belong to an elite class because they know all the "rules" and have been to a club,and want to tell others how they should be doing it. "

And surely all Doms are wannabees with every new person they play with.

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By *ountry girl1980Woman
over a year ago

Hyde

"My question to all those proclaiming to be Dom is: What do you have in your toy box?

Most admit to not actually having one

I've met a few that don't need one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

I would love to see the interviewees faces if they were ever to read this thread, as it would suggest that you do not have a clue what you are doing. "

I've seen people interviewing candidates for 6 figure salaries asking on forums "never done an interview before what the he'll do I ask" lol.

It's a role play not life or death asking for help is better than muddling through blind.

I would always trust a dom who is willing to gather other people's experience over one who just goes with what they think is right without any knowledge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question to all those proclaiming to be Dom is: What do you have in your toy box?

Most admit to not actually having one

For me the best answer would be "my mind".

An inventive mind has a lot more options than a limited mind with an expansive toy box.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. Anything targeted, or scene based.

Any ideas ?

Thanks in advance

I would love to see the interviewees faces if they were ever to read this thread, as it would suggest that you do not have a clue what you are doing.

I've seen people interviewing candidates for 6 figure salaries asking on forums "never done an interview before what the he'll do I ask" lol.

It's a role play not life or death asking for help is better than muddling through blind.

I would always trust a dom who is willing to gather other people's experience over one who just goes with what they think is right without any knowledge."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 25/06/15 17:48:42]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it? "

There is a mild but quite important difference between those who proclaim themselves as "Dom" and simply "dominant" that is pretty easy to forget or just confuse. The difference is actually huge. One is an implied sexually experienced, self-titled status; the other is simply someone who is inclined to take the lead.

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining. "

Is the Difference something to do with Capital Letters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And now to the haters, you ask if I'm experienced why should I request help ?? Trolls please read again - where did I use the word experienced ? I could have been a Dom to several subs but with my latest one - I'd still be forever learning, I would not ever class myself as experienced.

Perhaps your own words of negative wisdom have tripped you up ??"

I think maybe when some suggested that you were a wannabe dom copying 50 Shades and you responded to that with "I did say I was looking to refresh my questions implying that I did have a list, further implying that I had done this before"... You were then called out for asking stuff that no experienced Dom would ask.

When you have to clarify clarifications of a clarification, I think it's fair to assume you may have lost the room. Especially if that clarification rests on the distinction between "has done before" and experienced.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining. "

It doesn't to me. I won't become involved with a Dom,I will a dominant man. I've done sexual and controlling situations with dominant men who don't call themselves a Dom. Is there a written word anywhere that states who the Ultimate Dom is and what a Dom has to do to call himself Dom? From experience I talking to Doms I've not been impressed,but I don't call myself sub. I'd be comfortable being a sub with the right man.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining. "

There are many types of Dom. Bedroom alpha males, daddies, owners, BDSM Doms, tops, bulls, masters etc. All different types with loads of sub variations. There is no two types. No right or wrong. Some don't even use a label.

You remind me of me when I first started on the scene. I had this idealist view which was really narrow minded of what a proper sub was and what a proper dom is and how everyone should behave. Luckily, I quickly grew and developed.

Instead of stressing about what a real dom should and shouldn't know and whether people are wannabes, just relax and let people do their thing. If he wants advice, then let people who are more than happy to share some, do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining.

One of my fave forumites after this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining.

One of my fave forumites after this thread.

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love dims

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

If you want to put yourself at risk, then that is something that is well and good for yourself. You, can make a judgement call on what you have been speaking about and been given by the guy and the scene you are looking for, but to condone it as the dogs bollox, to advise it as the one of the most memorable experiences you have ever had, and to paint it in the light you did is not the safest of practices to me, for reasons I explained above.

Your point about there being many different types of Doms, is self referring as you later go on to say why not let them ask question? If there are so many different types of Doms - they surely would then know which type they are, based on their activities or interests as you say. Surely we would need to know what they are into also, in order to advise what they are to do or ask!!!!!! Which is what I/we have been saying all along!!! The guy still hasn't given his interview questions. You talk about wannabees yet say there are so many so dont judge - is just a lame excuse.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

I condoned nothing. I shared one of my favourite experiences.

I can't comment on the rest because your reply doesn't make much sense.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

I condoned nothing. I shared one of my favourite experiences.

I can't comment on the rest because your reply doesn't make much sense. "

I coped well enough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anything you would like to ask???

Every interview EVER.

hate interviews, feel like a total fraud telling people exactly what you think they want to hear

I tell them the truth and it landed me my last job, the manager told me at the end of the interview that he had some trick questions that he knew most people would say what they want to hear and he was pleased that I was honest,

I think it was more luck that he agreed with my options, than that he liked my honesty as some times my opinion can be quite contraversial, regardless of what the majority think I will cast my opinin

Ps, sorry about any typo's, I'm on my phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol, insane and absurd Doms. Love the level of delusion going on.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

I condoned nothing. I shared one of my favourite experiences.

I can't comment on the rest because your reply doesn't make much sense.

I coped well enough! "

Would love to see you turn up at a munch or a fetish event and tell the Doms they shouldn't be asking questions or discussing ideas because they should know it, simply because they are a dom. To say all what you've been saying on the forum to Doms in the flesh. Tell them they must be wannabes.

I would REALLY love to see that happen. Popcorn and giggles.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 25/06/15 23:11:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did the interview go OP?

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"How did the interview go OP?"

I'm wondering the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice floggermeister flogger

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He seems to have disappeared off the radar

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"He seems to have disappeared off the radar

Oh on what way? His customer service was exceptional when I ordered three floggers off him for a friend and I. We were heading to a fetish event and phoned him to see what stock he had. A few hours later, he had delivered us new floggers just in time for us to take them to the event.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos. "

Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to. "

Sub_ilac made the point there were a great many different doms into a great many different things (this is true). I mentioned, that if we are to help this dude, we need to know what he is into or we would be chucking ideas that simply would not suit.

What she doesn't realise is, that in her chucking ideas at him, she is chucking ideas at him and he still hasn't offered up that what he is either into or the interview questions that he said he had. So, I said I was ski mask aqua dom needing interview tips, to see is she could refine her special skills.

I was ultimately making my point that you can make excuses and excuses for people, but to lead them to dom a woman is a little dangerous when you dont know what they or the woman are into - experience tells you this.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos.

Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

I love my tails. I have a few. I'm about to order a giant wolf tail and do some Game of Thrones roleplay. He can be Jon Snow and I, the direwolf.

I'm joking! The forum would have a field day with that.

I'm actually not joking.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to.

Nope. Still doesn't make sense.

I answered the OP's question. Gave examples of questions, gave suggestions of ways to further extend the scene and then gave an example of my personal experience for those that suggested interviewing can be dull.

The rest of my comments have been solely directed at you. You seem to be contradicting yourself and getting in a muddle so it seems futile discussing anything further with you unless you can think of a clearer way to explain your point to me, or even to have a point.

It has gone way off tangent. I think the OP got some good suggestions though from helpful people on the thread so with a bit of luck, he's satisfied. I know I have found this thread entertaining today.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to.

Nope. Still doesn't make sense.

My point is:

You are happy to pass out this training stuff online to people you have no idea about or how they intend to use it, as you have had success with it.

I on the other hand, prefer to use a little common sense, meet people in person, see how level headed they are, have a chat, discuss their level of experience (probably before hand too) and then maybe set something like this up.

The difference here is. This guy has eventually found a sub (probably a novice) interested in him, thought, I'll do an interview scene and try my luck and get some hints and tips and potentially try my hand.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

penny dropped yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to.

Ideas are just to give someone an idea are they not. It doesn't mean he will use them. Where do you get your ideas from. I'm assuming you're a Dom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus christ can we put aside the willy waving, who can be the most pretentious dom contest and get back on topic of helping the op with his role play idea.

Op not a question but if I was you I'd practice speaking out loud some of the more explicit questions in the mirror.

If you can talk about graphic sexual content with a straight face and business like demeanour it will add greatly to the scene rather than if your looking flustered or lowering your voice

Practice it and you'll be able to do it as if you were asking nothing more than normal job questions.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Ideas are just to give someone an idea are they not. It doesn't mean he will use them. Where do you get your ideas from. I'm assuming you're a Dom"

pmsl - I'm no dom ... who'd be a fucking dom! lol

Single all the way baby!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos.

Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

I love my tails. I have a few. I'm about to order a giant wolf tail and do some Game of Thrones roleplay. He can be Jon Snow and I, the direwolf.

I'm joking! The forum would have a field day with that.

I'm actually not joking. "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"penny dropped yet? "

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the whole Dom/Sub thing quite laughable, even more so when a self confessed 'Dom' is asking for advice on how to be 'Dom'

Saying you're a Dom doesn't in itself mean you're stating you know everything that you could be doing does it?

The two differences between being dominant in the bedroom and being a Dom, shouldn't need explaining.

One of my fave forumites after this thread.

Ditto"

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Therein lies your confusion. You are trying to define someone who is commenting on a thread, who hasn't asked for advice. I am perfectly comfortable with myself.

Well I am a rubber welly, horse hair ski mask, sand paper riding cropper, aqua Dom. I have a sub lined up for interview next week, can I have some questions - please

You need to clarify your points. You seem to have gone off on a tangent. I can't see anything on the thread that you are referring to.

Nope. Still doesn't make sense.

My point is:

You are happy to pass out this training stuff online to people you have no idea about or how they intend to use it, as you have had success with it.

"penny dropped yet? "

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

According to you, I was silly and dangerous for meeting up for a formal interview and inspection. The OP is a wannabe for asking for suggestions of what to talk about with his sub. Yet you, for doing the same thing, are using common sense.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"penny dropped yet?

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way. "

lol well I suppose it was sub_ilac that was advising punishment play, I should have let it roll further and seen how many other suggestions people came up with - maybe bamboo across the feet would have got posited? Wonder how many cheers that would have got!! Just playing devils advocate there btw.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"penny dropped yet?

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way.

I didn't advise punishment play at all. I made suggestions on scene development.

And I actually adore bastinado which is the term for using corporal punishment on the feet. There are pics of it on my profile.

And guess what, when the two Dom/mes that I asked to try it on me, had no previous experience of doing it. And because it's such a dangerous thing to do as the foot has so many small and breakable bones, do you know what we did? We googled and we asked others that had done it before.

If only we were born proper Doms, we would have had the knowledge and not been wannabes by having to ask

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

errrrm your changing your story a bit eh? You didnt see him. You were chatting with him online for 3 weeks. You got to his hotel room and he was in the bar getting his Dutch courage. So while you were donning a blindfold sniffing his used towel thinking it was all sexy, you never actually saw your mystery man before your meet - he could have been Frankensteins Monster for all you knew.

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"penny dropped yet?

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way.

I didn't advise punishment play at all. I made suggestions on scene development.

And I actually adore bastinado which is the term for using corporal punishment on the feet. There are pics of it on my profile.

If only we were born proper Doms, we would have had the knowledge and not been wannabes by having to ask

haha, what you do or want or like doesnt matter to me. Maybe message Jay, I doubt he's reading all of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ideas are just to give someone an idea are they not. It doesn't mean he will use them. Where do you get your ideas from. I'm assuming you're a Dom

pmsl - I'm no dom ... who'd be a fucking dom! lol

Single all the way baby!!

So, the woman who has experience of being a sub knows less than someone who has no idea

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character. "

I've not changed any story. Whatsoever.

And for the record, BDSM play partners are recommend to me by friends. Their appearance isn't relevant. I don't usually have sex with BDSM play partners. We just practise BDSM. It's more about how they can stimulate my mind rather than what they look like.

I did end up having a full D/s sexual relationship with the person I mentioned earlier but like I said, that meet was the start of things and was purely scene setting and finding out information.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"penny dropped yet?

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way.

I didn't advise punishment play at all. I made suggestions on scene development.

And I actually adore bastinado which is the term for using corporal punishment on the feet. There are pics of it on my profile.

If only we were born proper Doms, we would have had the knowledge and not been wannabes by having to ask

haha, what you do or want or like doesnt matter to me. Maybe message Jay, I doubt he's reading all of this. "

Many people are reading this. And privately messaging me. Rather amused with your responses. You've become the entertainment for the night.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Ideas are just to give someone an idea are they not. It doesn't mean he will use them. Where do you get your ideas from. I'm assuming you're a Dom

pmsl - I'm no dom ... who'd be a fucking dom! lol

Single all the way baby!!

So, the woman who has experience of being a sub knows less than someone who has no idea

It is my job to confuse around here.. how else am supposed to make your online heads spin

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"penny dropped yet?

Oh are they teaching 'patronising' at Dom school now?

Wait, silly me, Dom school implies some desire to learn and not just bluster your way through inherently knowing everything automatically from birth because that's the true Dom way.

I didn't advise punishment play at all. I made suggestions on scene development.

And I actually adore bastinado which is the term for using corporal punishment on the feet. There are pics of it on my profile.

If only we were born proper Doms, we would have had the knowledge and not been wannabes by having to ask

haha, what you do or want or like doesnt matter to me. Maybe message Jay, I doubt he's reading all of this.

Many people are reading this. And privately messaging me. Rather amused with your responses. You've become the entertainment for the night. "

yeah - I have been away for a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ideas are just to give someone an idea are they not. It doesn't mean he will use them. Where do you get your ideas from. I'm assuming you're a Dom

pmsl - I'm no dom ... who'd be a fucking dom! lol

Single all the way baby!!

So, the woman who has experience of being a sub knows less than someone who has no idea

It is my job to confuse around here.. how else am supposed to make your online heads spin

You do it so well too. You speak with fork tongue to me

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character.

I've not changed any story. Whatsoever.

I did end up having a full D/s sexual relationship with the person I mentioned earlier but like I said, that meet was the start of things and was purely scene setting and finding out information.

I hear that a lot, I think it is very sad.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character.

I've not changed any story. Whatsoever.

I did end up having a full D/s sexual relationship with the person I mentioned earlier but like I said, that meet was the start of things and was purely scene setting and finding out information.

I hear that a lot, I think it is very sad."

Sad? Because intelligence is more of an aphrodisiac to me than appearance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

I love my tails. I have a few. I'm about to order a giant wolf tail and do some Game of Thrones roleplay. He can be Jon Snow and I, the direwolf.

I'm joking! The forum would have a field day with that.

I'm actually not joking. "

If only you could get a big squirrel tail version.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

" Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

I love my tails. I have a few. I'm about to order a giant wolf tail and do some Game of Thrones roleplay. He can be Jon Snow and I, the direwolf.

I'm joking! The forum would have a field day with that.

I'm actually not joking.

If only you could get a big squirrel tail version.

Do you know what, I'm sure you could find one online.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos.

Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

Oh my gosh, aren't your photos on your profile delightful? I take back everything I've said about intelligence being more of an aphrodisiac than appearance

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character.

I've not changed any story. Whatsoever.

I did end up having a full D/s sexual relationship with the person I mentioned earlier but like I said, that meet was the start of things and was purely scene setting and finding out information.

I hear that a lot, I think it is very sad.

Sad? Because intelligence is more of an aphrodisiac to me than appearance?

sad that there is little to no sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice floggermeister flogger

Ha thank you. I have two. That one is my favourite on my photos.

Awwwww cute! You have a fluffy tail butt plug

Oh my gosh, aren't your photos on your profile delightful? I take back everything I've said about intelligence being more of an aphrodisiac than appearance

That's lovely of you to say. Thank you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character.

I've not changed any story. Whatsoever.

I did end up having a full D/s sexual relationship with the person I mentioned earlier but like I said, that meet was the start of things and was purely scene setting and finding out information.

I hear that a lot, I think it is very sad.

Sad? Because intelligence is more of an aphrodisiac to me than appearance?

sad that there is little to no sex"

Not really. It's different. With some Doms or in some scenes, sex is a natural progression. Or some form of sexual play at least.

With some play partners or some practises it's not appropriate.

It totally depends. I'm a sex addict. Massive libido. But BDSM gives a different kind of release. I enjoy pain but don't really mix it with sexual play. Play that involves pain is cathartic so I get masses from it.

BDSM is done in addition to sex for me. I have sex with my dom (who is also my bf) but will have none sexual BDSM sessions with other Doms. But everyone is different.

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By *ts artMan
over a year ago

Londonderry

Seriously while devils advocate can be useful, even if unfortunately sometimes used as a trolling tool, you seem to be playing something else to a lot of us, further back you've said you wouldn't want to be a Dom, the use of uppercase is mine btw, preferring to remain single all the way

In just what context is that meant or do we just take it as another insight into your mindset,

It seems to be that not only are you oblivious to the nuances of some of whats been said as well as the plain answers but also are hell bent on ploughing your own furrow across the thread

Yes the dimdoms are out there and yes the fifty shade wannabes too but _ilacs posts and others are full of pointers on this thread and others for genuine Doms and subs to see and digest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have learnt that someone not involved in the lifestyle believes there should be no information sharing for safety reasons.

That all encounters that stimulate us are sad unless they result in sex.

That when you have a view point on something you don't have a great understanding of you must post and become rude and disparaging.

And that Friday is a sarcastic day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You presume an awful lot about the OP. You also added your own extra bits to my forum posts that you'd conjured up somewhere.

The laughable bit is.... You've just said that you would meet up in person and have a chat about what they like etc. Which is what you've berated me and the OP for doing.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing a lot of potential subs are reading this thread and using it as a filter of who not to play with

Sub_ilac... you dont have to worry about me, I like women with more character. "

How incredibly rude. At least you've shown your true colours.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He seems to have disappeared off the radar

Not seen him at BBB for months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So how did the interview go OP?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I have learnt that someone not involved in the lifestyle believes there should be no information sharing for safety reasons.

That all encounters that stimulate us are sad unless they result in sex.

That when you have a view point on something you don't have a great understanding of you must post and become rude and disparaging.

And that Friday is a sarcastic day"

Well look at his first two post - they are right at the top of the thread, people seem to have forgotten this in getting wrapped up in all their delights.

"I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions. "

"Yes, covering letter and CV

It's been played out very realistic - quite a powerful role play "

This would indicate someone experienced. "A new sub". It would also indicate the role play is quite a ruthless one, One either he has done before or one that will test, however, Jay then continues after all of our discussion and says this;

I whereas see myself as an ever learning bespoke Dom, who caters for each individual sub or lady I meet.

Now you either have a scene in mind and it is a powerful roleplay or you dont. If you do, then you have an idea of what it is going to entail and you are fishing for ideas of how to add to it. Given we don't know the scene, him, the sub or the questions, my cautionary approach has been comparable to me being the only one condoning condoms on a bareback thread.

You are right, I do like to be sarcastic - usually when things are strikingly obvious. But I also like to be cautious when talking about this kind of stuff in general... as I have already said, you can mention all manner of things to do, though, if this scene is as powerful as Jay is making out, "we" don't really need to be involving ourselves when we really have have no clue about either of them.

It is wholly different discussing these things in the flesh, as you can gauge somesones reaction (he has hardly been involved with the thread), but online, you have no idea, what they are scribbling down.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I'm struggling to get my head round, if a person asks for idea's, that's all he asked for. Most people are capable of deciding for them selves what works for them or not.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I have learnt that someone not involved in the lifestyle believes there should be no information sharing for safety reasons.

That all encounters that stimulate us are sad unless they result in sex.

That when you have a view point on something you don't have a great understanding of you must post and become rude and disparaging.

And that Friday is a sarcastic day

Well look at his first two post - they are right at the top of the thread, people seem to have forgotten this in getting wrapped up in all their delights.

I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions.

Yes, covering letter and CV

It's been played out very realistic - quite a powerful role play

I whereas see myself as an ever learning bespoke Dom, who caters for each individual sub or lady I meet.

Don't you just like to over complicate.

Man asks for help with questions. Helpful fabbers suggest options presuming man will filter through and see what suits him.

You've turned it into a circus.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *cd and scruffCouple
over a year ago

Rochester

Whether the op is an old hand or a newbie we all had to start somewhere. We were all at the stage where we did not know what to do. We read. We researched and we learned becuase people were prepared to share their experience/ enjoyable scenes. We all do it because we enjoy it, he is not going to steal your sub, he is looking for advice or maybe fresh ideas.

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sad that there is little to no sex"

I find it a bit sad when someone puts so much weight on sex alone.

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By *cd and scruffCouple
over a year ago

Rochester

Oops, i meant not public pillory.

Must remember to proof read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm struggling to get my head round, if a person asks for idea's, that's all he asked for. Most people are capable of deciding for them selves what works for them or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm struggling to get my head round, if a person asks for idea's, that's all he asked for. Most people are capable of deciding for them selves what works for them or not.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Whether the op is an old hand or a newbie we all had to start somewhere. We were all at the stage where we did not know what to do. We read. We researched and we learned becuase people were prepared to share their experience/ enjoyable scenes. We all do it because we enjoy it, he is not going to steal your sub, he is looking for advice or maybe fresh ideas.

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site."

And because I air on caution - that is an attack? my opinion is different - it is an attack? It is not as if I have been arguing with myself here???? For the most people thought him foolish for asking such a question, it has only been sub_ilac (for the most) promoting you should do xyz. I am not attacking anyone - but she appears not to see why caution may well be advisable.

I thought my last post was reasonable enough, so to avoid confusion I'll let you all post your bsdm suggestions up.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site.

I thought my last post was reasonable enough, so to avoid confusion I'll let you all post your bsdm suggestions up. "

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have any references?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

I have it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *v_heatherTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

It's not quite a question but give them a list of various acts and some coloured stick on dots. Three dots on something means no way never, two means probably never but let me think about it and one means yes but with conditions (none mines I'm fine with this).

Little bit of predicamenty mind games over "well definate no to that but then I can't rule out this" and you get a bit of an insight into what they do/don't like.

I'm totally with you on this being a very hot scene and good way to develop a relationship/dynamic

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

I have it

Ha ha, you don't hire it out do you?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *v_heatherTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

(I'm suggesting that a s role-playey type thing - not a way of setting actual limits of course!)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

I have it

Ha ha, you don't hire it out do you?

It will cost you 15 fig rolls for a 20 minute slot.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site.

I thought my last post was reasonable enough, so to avoid confusion I'll let you all post your bsdm suggestions up. "

Please stop adding you're own bits in to my reply and contorting or fantasising about what I've said.

The only thing I am promoting is questioning, communication and accepting that others are different.

A potential sub has agreed to meet a dom for an interview style roleplay. The Dom asked for help with questions. Which was provided. You're now turning this into a 'danger of meeting people online' thread which you could throw at any forum question on here.

I haven't condoned or encouraged anything other than the op should feel comfortable and within his right to ask questions.

You've resorted to calling him a wannabe dom, telling me I'm foolish and dangerous and encouraging Doms to abuse subs, you've implied he is abnormal for wanting to interview, you have spoken on behalf of all dominants, you've fabricated bits of my story when you retold it adding your own elements in about my dom needing Dutch courage (we don't drink alcohol during scenes) was hiding in a toilet and I was sniffing towels. You've even told me it's sad that my BDSM play isn't sexual.

You've come across as belittling and as a troll. You've said yourself, you're not a dom. So why even comment on the thread. Why not leave him to do his thing.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

I have it

Ha ha, you don't hire it out do you?

It will cost you 15 fig rolls for a 20 minute slot."

Do you negotiate, I am a Yorkshire after all.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Gosh, didn't know there was a little button to stop people posting, where is it, where is it?

I have it

Ha ha, you don't hire it out do you?

It will cost you 15 fig rolls for a 20 minute slot."

I do have a couple of blindfolds and several pairs of handcuffs that I dont have the keys for you know!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site.

I thought my last post was reasonable enough, so to avoid confusion I'll let you all post your bsdm suggestions up.

Please stop adding you're own bits in to my reply and contorting or fantasising about what I've said.

The only thing I am promoting is questioning, communication and accepting that others are different.

I haven't condoned or encouraged anything other than the op should feel comfortable and within his right to ask questions.

You've come across as belittling and as a troll. You've said yourself, you're not a dom. So why even comment on the thread. Why not leave him to do his thing. "

are you trying to play a victim card here? move on - let Jay come back and tell us all how he got on.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I really do not understand why he is being attacked in such a way.

If he is an old hand share ideas, you might see something you like the sound of.

If he is a newbie help him learn and save someone from a horrendous experience and possible injury.

I thought this was all about fun and enjoyment and public pillory of everybody who stands up and asks for help.

Sometimes i am just amazed by the people on this site.

I thought my last post was reasonable enough, so to avoid confusion I'll let you all post your bsdm suggestions up.

Please stop adding you're own bits in to my reply and contorting or fantasising about what I've said.

The only thing I am promoting is questioning, communication and accepting that others are different.

I haven't condoned or encouraged anything other than the op should feel comfortable and within his right to ask questions.

You've come across as belittling and as a troll. You've said yourself, you're not a dom. So why even comment on the thread. Why not leave him to do his thing.

are you trying to play a victim card here? move on - let Jay come back and tell us all how he got on.

A victim? Now you're calling me a victim? No, I don't feel a victim of anything. I've felt nothing but amusement and entertainment throughout.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

great - shakes hands, smiles, and goes back to thread watching.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have learnt that someone not involved in the lifestyle believes there should be no information sharing for safety reasons.

That all encounters that stimulate us are sad unless they result in sex.

That when you have a view point on something you don't have a great understanding of you must post and become rude and disparaging.

And that Friday is a sarcastic day

Well look at his first two post - they are right at the top of the thread, people seem to have forgotten this in getting wrapped up in all their delights.

I'll be interviewing a new sub this Thursday, and I needed to refresh my list of questions.

Yes, covering letter and CV

It's been played out very realistic - quite a powerful role play

I whereas see myself as an ever learning bespoke Dom, who caters for each individual sub or lady I meet.

May I add that you also like to twist people's words,talk about something that hasn't been said as if it has and talk as if you have total authority on everything.

(closed, thread got too big)

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