FabSwingers.com forum: TIME WASTERS LISTING

By *-zyres OP Couple
over a year ago

BEDFORD

On a scale of 1-10 with one being the lower value, how would you mark those that arrange to meet you then don't bother to show up, and to add insult to injury they display further bad manners and ignorance by not having the good grace to contact you or let you know there has been a change of plan ??

.....For us it would start at around 978.

With so many unreliable time wasters that seem to be on this scene and on this site, should Fab's not have a listing of such people who repeatedly bugger people about by not showing up to arranged meets that can be accessed by those on here that DO play the game properly and allowing them to double-check to see if their precious time is potentially going to be wasted ??

If you agree then perhaps everyone should write to Fabs direct and let them know as it would save a lot of time for a lot of people and out the idiots that ultimately put people off with their crap behaviour and spoil thing for those that do play the game properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never come across time wasters.

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By *-zyres OP Couple
over a year ago

BEDFORD

lucky you ... you will !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never come across time wasters.

Oh, your pics make me waste a lot of my time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you should be more careful when choosing people to meet? That couple you are naming a shaming on your profile look like they haven't been on since they joined!

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

List them then they just go unlos and come back under a different name, doesn't achieve anything.

I just use my common sense when choosing who to give up my precious free time for.

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By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

Never like being negative but there should some way of allowing others to be aware.

Seems to be far more around lately

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By *-zyres OP Couple
over a year ago

BEDFORD

We all make decisions on what people say and tell you, and if people talk a good game after many exchanges of messages saying all the right things and they turn out to be wasters then how is that your fault ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simplez - there is a report button at bottom of profile. Click and add in why reporting.

Then block

As if there is a list who guarantees that the people named on "list" are really time wasters? Out of "nastiness" people could just add names...

Or as already said - it's easy to open and close profiles

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Perhaps you should be more careful when choosing people to meet? That couple you are naming a shaming on your profile look like they haven't been on since they joined!

I just looked at that.. Yeh I can't imagine how you've managed to arrange a meet with a "couple" that are never online.

Plus, calling them "retards".. is a horrible thing to say and a word which I personally find quite offensive.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

In 4 years on here, the only person who has wasted my time is me - hours lost faffing on the forum.

But seriously, I have never arranged a meet and had a no show. Closest was a cancellation on the morning I was due to meet with a lame excuse.

If you get a lot of no-shows, look at your own selection criteria and process as you are the common denominator in your meets.

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By *-zyres OP Couple
over a year ago

BEDFORD

sometimes common sense gets deceived by these types

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Our time is not so precious that we can't understand that people may get cold feet and pull out of a meet. On the other hand we always play in clubs - that way we're never disappointed by a no show and, unlike the Web, we can see what we're getting.

Scoring timewasters makes no sense. Some people will label you a timewaster simply because you don't answer an unsolicited message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest this would be difficult - and remember only a low percentage of people use the forums!

Personally I think the whole verification system should be changed to a star rating or number rating - replacing all the 'gorgeous/suckable cock/treat with respect' etc etc that is on there now!

The new system would be kept simple:

Did the person(s) show up at the agreed place?

Where they (roughly) on time?

Did they look like their pics?

Was it a sex or social meet?

Rate the meet overall! (Star rating or marks 1-10!)

Simple! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a scale of 1-10 with one being the lower value, how would you mark those that arrange to meet you then don't bother to show up, and to add insult to injury they display further bad manners and ignorance by not having the good grace to contact you or let you know there has been a change of plan ??

.....For us it would start at around 978.

This couple should be 979 on list , arranged to meet me , I paid for hotel and they never showed up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea OP. Lets start a list of time wasters. Top of the list please - _-zyres! These arranged to meet mecand didn't show up. I'm a verified member myself so everybody please believe me. I have no ulterior motive at all.

All lies of course but do you see how pathetic that would be on a site where fragile egos and jealousy is rife?? There will always be the malicious, jealous and just plain wicked out there willing to sabotage others. I've seen it first hand and it ain't nice!

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

that alan and jane bloody time wastes...

that will work..think not..

use the tools that fab give you and your common sense, we always meet somewhere if its a no show then nothing lost....connie xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great idea OP. Lets start a list of time wasters. Top of the list please - _-zyres! These arranged to meet mecand didn't show up. I'm a verified member myself so everybody please believe me. I have no ulterior motive at all.

Wow they did that to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly why a rating system wouldn't work.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

It's understandable that people want a list, but it's completely unworkable and way too open to abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow they did that to me

and 5 of my friends as well!! (Tho the fact I have five friends is laughable lol)

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

The site is nothing more than a tool to advertise yourself and to enable contact with other people.

It's not the sites responsibility to manage meets, make arrangements and 'police' interactions between others. It the responsibility of the grown adults who use it.

If you rely purely on the site to arrange your meets you're playing a dangerous game.

If you use common sense, do some simple, basic checks if you're unsure (phone calls, webcamming, a pre-fun social) then you minimise the risk of coming a cropper.

There are plenty of profiles on the site that I could look at and be 99% sure they are who they say and would show up and that additional checks would need to be minimal.

There are way more that would need additional 'homework' before assuming all is well and plans were put in place.

The onus is on a profile owner not to put themselves at risk of being duped or let down. Not the site.

If anyone thinks otherwise then I'd suggest they need to reevaluate exactly what they think a website and virtual interaction can offer them.

So no OP. I don't think the site needs to change or a list of so called timewasters needs creating.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"We all make decisions on what people say and tell you, and if people talk a good game after many exchanges of messages saying all the right things and they turn out to be wasters then how is that your fault ??? "

Well I'm sorry but if you believe everything anyone tells you, therein lies the problem.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It would be a real pain.

Suppose Admin get a message saying so and so is a no show, but then get a message from the no shows saying that the other person sent a text cancelling the meet when it became apparent anal wasn't on the table.

What do they make of all that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most timewasters are fairly easy to spot.

Been on the site for over a year with no verifications or perhaps just a webcam verification.

Profile text that says almost nothing (the "fill in later" ones make me chuckle).

Pictures that are 'suspect' or look like screen grabs or photos of PC monitors (Tineye is your friend).

Unwilling to just have a social meet at first.

General message content too.

It takes a tiny bit of detective work but it's easy enough. If you get it wrong then no big deal, it's only swinging...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is incredibly rude, site FAQ's state a none response is a no thanks, so by reporting ppl, who don't read your messages is just wasting mods time. Many read profiles before messages, there is plenty in your profile to put people off, then they may delete them without reading as it's a waste of their time, you are not for them. Same with not reading your message when online, I often pop on during the day to reply to those I'm already talking to, not read all mail. I leave that for when I have more time.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

I can't believe that you think that it's the done thing to name and shame someone who doesn't want to reply to, or even read, your unsolicited mail!!!

It's not your business either why someone doesn't have pics for public consumption, and they can decide who they want to see them. All this demanding on your profile doesn't come across very well and tbh, it doesn't surprise me if you've had your time wasted.

People use this site for all different reasons, use the tools the site provides you with. They do work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see you've fallen into the common trap of altering your profile because you've had a bad experience. Easy to fall into that mindset but it makes you look sulky and petulant.

Don't blame the next person for what the last person did.

I (he) once went to a meeting and only three of us had turned up out of a possible 20 or so. The guy running the meeting spent about half an hour moaning about how important it was to attend these meetings and not turning up wasted his time. He was telling that to the people that had actually turned up, as though we had some control over the others (we didn't even know them).

So, putting on your profile 'no timewasters' etc will have literally zero effect on the actual timewasters as they will waste your time anyway, and good people have to read through that to get to the important bits.

Keep your profile positive, let people know what you're wanting etc the moaning comes across as bad. Consider the process you're going through for meets. We had timewasters early on, we changed our approach to socials first and now don't get any, and we've had some good times.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I can't believe that you think that it's the done thing to name and shame someone who doesn't want to reply to, or even read, your unsolicited mail!!!

And people who send an unsolicited friends request, and people with one line profiles, and people with no profile picture and and and and and ......

Blimey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but the idea you will block and name/shame people who:

don't bother to respond

send friends invites without having made initial contact.

have a silhouette, no photos or not willing to send us face pics.

present a pathetic one-line profile or message.

write in text language

not bothered to write a little something about yourselves.

is quite frankly ridiculous. The site mods could be attending to real issues rather than these.

By the way, the legislation referred to on your profile is American. It doesn't apply.

I would really suggest you take the time to give the profile a revamp as per the above.

Whilst I agree timewasters are a pain, its part and parcel of the site unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came across one last week and she was verified lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

well they say that insanity is doing the same thing again and again... and expecting a different result....

so lets say you were 0-14 on meets... would you do the same thing with the same process on the 15th occasion?

so if "you" are encountering the same issue again and again... and "you" doing the same thing over and over.... the "you" in part are the common demoninator...

and that is where people are fair in asking about how you go about your selection processes, what checks and balances have you in place....

if something isnt working to the point of ranting and giving yourself an ulcer.... then you have the power the change it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My god OP the only time thats been wasted is mine reading your ever so extensive profile! Hell its one thing telling people what you like and dislike but do you really need to write war and peace?

Your profile appears angry and bitter, your probably very nice people when others get to meet you,but from just reading part of your profile we would move on as theres far too much on there. And we do not agree about rating people, we all have valid reasons why we cancel meets.

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By *ilk n SteelCouple
over a year ago

Croydon

"I can't believe that you think that it's the done thing to name and shame someone who doesn't want to reply to, or even read, your unsolicited mail!!!

And people who send an unsolicited friends request, and people with one line profiles, and people with no profile picture and and and and and ......

Blimey

Well exactly.

They only bareback and they insist on videoing meets, two things that would put a lot of people off anyway.

So if they send you a message and you don't reply they will name and shame you apparently.

How exactly do they name and shame anyway? Put your name on their profile? This would only mean anything if there are lots of members who go to their profile everyday to read the constant updates on the list. Like anybody would actually care.

I think a lot if people will agree that if a 60 year old couple who insist on a bareback meet where they film it contact you then you would probably deleted without replying and block them. Meaning they have a meaningless name and shame list nobody cares about.

And who actually reads that long self involved, self important profile anyway?

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By *ilk n SteelCouple
over a year ago

Croydon

We are going to block them in advance so they can't send us an unsolicited message asking fir bareback, which our profile says we don't do and the name and shame us for deleting them without replying.

We would suggest other people do the same.

And then don't talk about it on Facebook.

Or write about it in Jeremy Kyle text speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, Naming and Shaming is strictly against site rules.

If you look through the site FAQ's you will also note that there is an faq specifically dedicated to non-replies to messages.

You are not automatically entitled to a reply to your message. Get over yourselves.

I suggest that you familiarise yourselves with site rules and make suitable amendments to your profile or you may find yourselves in trouble with site admin.

Let me give you an example. You contact someone whom you are interested in. They look at your profile and read that you ONLY bareback, and because they take their health a lot more seriously, decide that they have no interest in you whatsoever. Why waste your time and theirs by replying. Especially if they have specifically stated Safe sex only on their profile and conclude that you haven't bothered to read THEIR profile properly. Are you really going to risk getting a time out from Admin by Naming and Shaming them?

Under the same criteria, wouldn't that user be within their rights to name and shame YOU for failing to read their profile? Do you see where the problems arise?

I suspect that this thread has now had the result of a number of users adding you to their block lists, simply down to your attitude.

Lighten up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most timewasters are fairly easy to spot.

Been on the site for over a year with no verifications or perhaps just a webcam verification.

Profile text that says almost nothing (the "fill in later" ones make me chuckle).

Pictures that are 'suspect' or look like screen grabs or photos of PC monitors (Tineye is your friend).

Unwilling to just have a social meet at first.

General message content too.

It takes a tiny bit of detective work but it's easy enough. If you get it wrong then no big deal, it's only swinging...

MrWho has actually inadvertently highlighted why a Timewaster's list is completely unworkable, as there is no clear definition of what a Timewaster is, as it is different for everyone.

A few of the things that MrWho lists as being timewasting I don't actually agree with.

Let's go through a couple of them

"Been on the site for over a year with no verifications or perhaps just a webcam verification."

Maybe, but there could be some very good explanations why. They may have a very busy life outside of fab. They may not have found anyone yet who they wish to meet. (Or they may have contacted many but no-one yet has taken them up on any offers). They may have simply been unable to organise mutually agreeable meets - See?

"Unwilling to just have a social meet at first."

How is this time wasting? If anything, surely this is time-saving.

It could be equally argued that those insisting on a social meet are time-wasters. Particularly by those whose spare time is limited and precious. Why waste time with a social etc etc. Do you see why there are problems defining time wasters.

Everyone on fab is here for their own reasons and their own fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most timewasters are fairly easy to spot.

Been on the site for over a year with no verifications or perhaps just a webcam verification.

Profile text that says almost nothing (the "fill in later" ones make me chuckle).

Pictures that are 'suspect' or look like screen grabs or photos of PC monitors (Tineye is your friend).

Unwilling to just have a social meet at first.

General message content too.

It takes a tiny bit of detective work but it's easy enough. If you get it wrong then no big deal, it's only swinging...

MrWho has actually inadvertently highlighted why a Timewaster's list is completely unworkable, as there is no clear definition of what a Timewaster is, as it is different for everyone.

A few of the things that MrWho lists as being timewasting I don't actually agree with.

Let's go through a couple of them

Been on the site for over a year with no verifications or perhaps just a webcam verification.

Unwilling to just have a social meet at first.

How is this time wasting? If anything, surely this is time-saving.

Everyone on fab is here for their own reasons and their own fun. "

For the 1st point, may of had meets who didn't verify, or met other unverified users.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

been stoop up few times ... with lame excuses ! but overall there aren't a lot of time waster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just picked up on this

TW are parr for the course on any sex dating/swinging site and this is no different - all you need to do is have a very thick skin and ignore them and most of all don't get upset for having your messages deleted - life's to short

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think all users are here and subject to respectful use and appropriate courtesy to others to be deployed for meet let downs.

But, all users should exercise caution when meeting others and take appropriate measures to ascertain others' progress, where possible and confirmations of meets. No one should assume that all agreements will be kept: that would be naive, as people have families, jobs, partners etc and we're entering into casual arrangements via the internet, not facilitating weddings.

Buyer and seller beware. Report inappropriate thoughtless and disrespectful behaviour from others. The assumption is everyone currently here is acceptable, subject to the buyer/seller beware consideration.

To have a more complicated arrangement would be off-putting, as eager as some may be for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never got into a situation where our time is wasted, we sometimes find those with aggressive, no timewasters rules think they have some god given right to dictate ridiculous terms to everyone else and when those are not complied with, to then brandish those people timewasters, make of that what you will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had someone not turn up except.

But there is one couple who I've heard are famous for not turning up _-zyres I think it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooohh...someone got a block button for xmas! Theres probably about 2 people on the site who dont meet this couples block criteria, i just got blocked for looking at their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The site has made it clear time and time again that naming and shaming will never be allowed at any time

We use a few simple tools and never seem to have issues with time wasters...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooohh...someone got a block button for xmas! Theres probably about 2 people on the site who dont meet this couples block criteria, i just got blocked for looking at their profile

It looks like it's been suspended by admin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep blocked too lol

Jesus it's a PR disaster x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are we all blocked or has the site admin suspended them?

what a way to draw attention to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep blocked too lol

Jesus it's a PR disaster x"

Hahaha...its backfired slightly!

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By *ilk n SteelCouple
over a year ago

Croydon

Considering their attribute it's likely they are sitting there blocking everyone who is posting negatively on this thread.

However we just checked our block list and they don't appear. We think this means it's because the account is suspended.

Unless after we blocked them they blocked us in return. Which would serve no purpose. But something they would probably do.

Was there a clause on their profile that said they block anybody who blocks them? Or do they just name and shame people who block them?

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By *bfoxxxMan
over a year ago

Crete or LANCASTER

Name and shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Name and shame."

Well I'm naming and shaming you , how dare you stand me up and after getting me to pay for hotel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Considering their attribute it's likely they are sitting there blocking everyone who is posting negatively on this thread.

However we just checked our block list and they don't appear. We think this means it's because the account is suspended.

Unless after we blocked them they blocked us in return. Which would serve no purpose. But something they would probably do.

Was there a clause on their profile that said they block anybody who blocks them? Or do they just name and shame people who block them?

Is it possible to block someone who has already blocked you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Considering their attribute it's likely they are sitting there blocking everyone who is posting negatively on this thread.

However we just checked our block list and they don't appear. We think this means it's because the account is suspended.

Unless after we blocked them they blocked us in return. Which would serve no purpose. But something they would probably do.

Was there a clause on their profile that said they block anybody who blocks them? Or do they just name and shame people who block them?

Is it possible to block someone who has already blocked you?"

Yep but don't ask me how

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I guess they have gone down the list of everyone on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick quick get someone not on list to check

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Quick quick get someone not on list to check

I checked

it's just you lot

Only joking looks like admin have struck

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Admin have said they will never have a name and shame list as it is open to abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick quick get someone not on list to check

I checked

it's just you lot

Only joking looks like admin have struck

thank you.

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