FabSwingers.com forum: Reply Later

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok pop pickers

Trying to understand the following

If i send a message and the recipitant reads the message and doesn't reply.

On occasion depending on the subject matter i may ask the person why there was no reply

This is not meant to be pushy or snotty.

A genuine question.

Then i usually get told they were going to answer later that day.

I don't get that

If i'm talking to someone i will reply there and then

I get the busy and just opened the message but if you don't have time to reply (30 seconds) then i wouldnt even bother opening the message

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

They are either just not that interested or do intend answering properly later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't let it bother you. Why check if it's been read unless of course your waiting for them to turn up.

I will often read a message during the day but not reply till we have both had a chance to look. I rarely have photos turned on in the day so I wait till I have privacy to look and wouldn't reply till I have done.

And some I may not even reply to as they are clearly not someone we would meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me that's being pushy

I sometimes read then reply later when I give more time. Or sometimes read then mark as unread.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I don't always answer straight away....sometimes I want to think about what has been written or discuss a response with my husband or even something as simple as I have opened it but don't have time to get into a conversation because I am at work or need to go somewhere - if I didn't reply and got another message asking me why I would probably block you for being high maintenance.....I am the only princess in my world

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

couples is different i get that.

it should be a joint decision

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

like i said

depends on the subject matter

i am not pushy

and so it starts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes we don't reply until both have read the message.

Another reason to wait is if we're really interested and want to get the answer right.

Could be we're not sure and are thinking about it.

A pushy demanding follow up message would make our mind up though. Instant delete and block I'd say.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

We don't reply to every message immediately or in many cases at all.

Nor do we always instantly delete.

Sometimes we deliberately leave a message unanswered for a while to see if the sender has patience or not and if they'll send further messages asking why we've not responded.

Often this happens.

We then delete.

Fab is a small if not tiny part of our lives. Friends will get a response sooner than strangers and they understand that there are no set rules re response times.

And as we're clear about when is a good time for new contact on our profile then anyone ignoring that bit only has themselves to blame if a lack of response is in any way frustrating.

Expecting a response full stop, let alone within any defined timescale is what causes some people the most angst on Fab. It's easily avoided. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It puts me off if someone messages me again,especially if i've only just read the first message .Sometimes i intend to reply and forget or i do a mass delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I asked someone why they hadn't replied, I'd consider I was being pushy. If someone chooses not to reply I'll delete the sent message and move on.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It is pushy to ask why they didn't reply, we would delete that message without answering.

Be patient, some people don't answer mails as soon as they have read them, I wait to show the OH before answering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"couples is different i get that.

it should be a joint decision"

Even as a single I didn't used to answer straight away. As I would need to look at profiles, photos, verifications etc etc ... Its not just a case of replying to a message.

If I'm around the family or work I have fab set to show no photos... So I can't look till I'm home and alone x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"It is pushy to ask why they didn't reply, we would delete that message without answering.

Be patient, some people don't answer mails as soon as they have read them, I wait to show the OH before answering."

*I sometimes wait to show the OH before answering.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

If you can't take other peoples opinions of what you have mentioned then maybe don't air yours on a public forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also find that pushy and also your kind of dictating how people should use the site!

We are all on here for different things, and we use the site differently surely.

People seem to get easily offended over the small details! The only time I get really peeved is if i have made it very clear with a no thank you and they still persue you, or when people are just offensive.

Appart from that you need to chill your beans lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I can be in the middle of replying to a message and have to quickly leave the site due to dog wanting to go out, child comes in neighbour pops round hubby about, be patient if no response just move on

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Could be various reasons as ppl have said .

You keep saying your not pushy but that's way it comes across when you ask why they haven't replied back in YOUR time frame .I'd definitely turn any guy down for wanting to know why I've not replied yet. As it stands it's suits them for what ever reason not to reply immediately to you. Why not just accept that ppl who are interested WILL mail back .Serves nothing by chasing up on folks .Just comes across as impatient , high maintenance and pushy .

Focus your energies on the replies you do get .

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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

Judging people by your own standards invariably leads to frustration. Accepting that everyone acts and thinks differently will lead you to a calmer place and an easier life.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

That's how you come across to me. If you are like this when someone hasn't messaged back straight away,how are you going to be once you have met someone,that would be the worry for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

And do you consider it good manners to point out the I'll manners of others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone doesn't respond to a message then that's their choice. I wouldn't dream of hassling them to find out why. I'd just assume that my dashing good looks and charm had made them self conscious and that they'd decided that I was way, way out of their league.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

You reply straight away because, as a single man, the number of unsolicited emails you receive every day are relatively few and it's no great burden. If you received a hundred emails a day, largely consisting of "wanna fuck" accompanied by a photo of a cock at a jaunty angle next to an open can of Fosters, maybe you'd not reply too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok pop pickers

Trying to understand the following

If i send a message and the recipitant reads the message and doesn't reply.

On occasion depending on the subject matter i may ask the person why there was no reply

This is not meant to be pushy or snotty.

A genuine question.

Then i usually get told they were going to answer later that day.

I don't get that

If i'm talking to someone i will reply there and then

I get the busy and just opened the message but if you don't have time to reply (30 seconds) then i wouldnt even bother opening the message"

It is pushy. As is the refusal to accept that they were going to reply later

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By *ithintemptationsCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

we find we dont reply to the one liner messages much,if we dont have to open the message to read it then it dosen't warrant a reply!

we tend to open mail and reply later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i'n not reading anymore

the words pushy and block keep appearing

yawn

i reply straight away as i consider it polite

thats just me

You're very much one to keep a very wide berth from. Thanks for letting everyone know.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Sometimes I sneak a look at work.. then the phone rings.. I have to deal with that..Then someone may come in with a query or need serving so I deal with that. The moment has passed I maybe dont look in on Fab for another few hours. So I have read the messagebut have not replied.

why would I need to make excuses ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gosh I really didn't expect to be slated for asking a simple question

Chill out folks

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

People giving their opinion is not slating.

I think I may save you from yourself now.

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