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Safe sex/never play on 1st meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts .....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we have it on our profile and stick by it. I don't have any thoughts apart from that really...well on this subject anyway, I have loads of thoughts on other stuff but not terribly interesting ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

So the majority of women on here don't play safe and always play on the first meet.

I can only speak for myself that is definitely not the case. Then again I couldn't give a flying fuck what people on here think. You will always have that 'women are slags/boys are just being one of the lads' crap that has been around for years.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always do a social but may play if we both want to after.I can't answer for others but maybe they put that as a get out of they dont feel any attraction etc.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We do not have a lot of free time and prefer to play on the first meet.

Why mess around?

We are on fab to meet and play why pretend otherwise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care if men think I'm a slut,I usually have sex in a first meet. That's why I like to talk a while on here first. I bring my own condoms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would only meet for a social if i liked them and wanted to fuck them

A social can be a drink and then u play

Or

Just a meet and greet

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

there will always be people who say one thing on the profile or in the forum on bareback threads and do something completely different ...... it is the nature of the scene/social media/human behaviour.

Just do your thing and or walk away

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

Two separate points are raised really.

Regarding safe sex. Well, that's always a personal choice/responsibility. Personally, I always insist on wearing a condom when penetration is involved, regardless of what the lady might be happy to do in the heat of the moment.

Regarding social first meets. Well, I think, a often as not, this is insisted on by some women when setting up a date in order to minimise any pressure (or perceived pressure) to have sex even if they find that the bloke isn't to their taste or they don't click. Quite often, if there is a mutual attraction, the 'social only' clause may quickly go out the window

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

We have never had a social unless you include the introducing yourself, being offered a drink and general chat that happens before everyone gets naked......we never have sex with anyone without condoms - I don't care if someone thinks I am a slut....I am meeting them for sex and do all my getting to know them on here before I agree to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

I think you've been unlucky, I only play safe, if she doesn't want to, it ain't going to happen. As for the social, I prefer that, gives both parties a chance to bale out if it isn't right, got to say, very few socials haven't ended in sex, but I've had some lucky escapes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

If your not playing on a first meet when was the appropriate time to reach for a condom?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"there will always be people who say one thing on the profile or in the forum on bareback threads and do something completely different ...... it is the nature of the scene/social media/human behaviour.

Just do your thing and or walk away"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And you create a forum post... Had she not explained to ya why she said it on her profile?? How can you say every woman does the same? Each person here is different and you shouldn't generalize everyone from one experience!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always do a social but may play if we both want to after.I can't answer for others but maybe they put that as a get out of they dont feel any attraction etc."

When I was playing as a single this was often my experience. By stating you won't/don't play on the first meet you eliminates the expectation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never arrange a meet through here; though we will post meet requests that tell people when we are going to a club if they want to meet us.

We much prefer to find our meets in the club's and if we hit it off in the social areas then we will invite to a room.

Life is too short to muck around we wasted nights in a bar with someone who probably doesn't even know what it is they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a single female I used to say I didn't play on first meets as it kept expectations to an acceptable level.

It allowed for proper conversation, to ensure the person looked like their pics and for me made the meet more chilled.

I did play with some, but this attitude also got me out of a few tricky situations.

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire


"When I was a single female I used to say I didn't play on first meets as it kept expectations to an acceptable level.

It allowed for proper conversation, to ensure the person looked like their pics and for me made the meet more chilled.

I did play with some, but this attitude also got me out of a few tricky situations."

This for me too

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

Idiot woman

Deluded woman

Not confident woman

Impressionable woman

Avoidable woman

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By *r and mrs willingCouple
over a year ago

SOUTH WEST & WALES

Safe sex - I would hazard a guess and say that those who claim to practice it on their profile but opt not to in the flesh, probably realise that some swingers _iew bare backers as demons. And it's not only women who profess one thing and practice another in this respect.

Social meet - perhaps sometimes there is an overwhelming lustful attraction when personal rules go out of the window ? Women have been known to change their minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always play on my first meet but always use condoms with men, have my own here.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I would only meet for a social if i liked them and wanted to fuck them

A social can be a drink and then u play

Or

Just a meet and greet

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex....alway.....fuck on the first meet....have swung both ways ...excuse the pun

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton


"Can someone please explain to me why women put this on their profiles when from personal experience the majority have no intention of abiding by it. For example I recently met someone who seemed to take it as a personal affront when I reached for a condom at the appropriate time. As for "not playing etc" she explained this by saying "she didn't want to come across as a slut". Thoughts ....."

--

Simple answer is they can do what they want.

With a lot of great and different responses above validating this.

For me I see it as a 'precautionary level'

Setting expectations in advance.

And if they are getting responses that ignore this?

They can ignore and move on (as such) to someone who they might want to meet.

Then I suppose it all just depends upon how the meet goes.

I don't expect that in meeting someone new I will automatically be having sex with them on that meet.

But if the situation moves to this and everyone 'clicks'

Then yes

Accept and appreciate the ground rules, go with the flow and if the flow is no? Then not to worry.

But if yes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say no sex on a first meet but it's more so there us no pressure or expectations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say no sex on a first meet but it's more so there us no pressure or expectations"

Exactly this. Far too many assume that as you've agreed to meet its a guaranteed shag. In fact, many assume that as you've replied to a message they'll get one too! My pet hate on here. OP, if someone has done the opposite to what you agreed/was stated on their profile and you're not happy with it then just leave, you're free to do that at any time. As they have not been totally honest with you then its their fault, not yours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks guys interesting reading

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"We have never had a social unless you include the introducing yourself, being offered a drink and general chat that happens before everyone gets naked......we never have sex with anyone without condoms - I don't care if someone thinks I am a slut....I am meeting them for sex and do all my getting to know them on here before I agree to meet "

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of couples look nice, can type on a computer but when you meet them they are socially inadequate and haven't at all mastered the art of seduction. If you've already promised to play then it's awkward...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lots of couples look nice, can type on a computer but when you meet them they are socially inadequate and haven't at all mastered the art of seduction. If you've already promised to play then it's awkward... "

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