FabSwingers.com forum: Why do some blokes get pissy at a "no"?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi folks,

Just been talking to a friend about messaging other people and the kind of replies you get back.

Nope this isn't asking to help with writing the perfect message but rather a question; why do some people go balls to the wall nuts if someone takes the time to reply with a "no"?

Admittedly I've not had many replies, I take that as a price of admission for still being new, finding my feet and, obviously, some people aren't interested in meeting full stop for whatever reason.

But I've never once replied in an angry manner to a "no thanks" message (I'm happy that they took the time to even respond rather than just deleting)

Some people are more aggressive than others but surely it doesn't leave a good impression? Why even bother with it? What possible good can come from shooting a broadside attack on someone just because they don't want to meet?

I suppose this is / was a bit of a rant, I just don't get why some blokes feel the need to be aggressive, it drags us all down.

Harv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are more variant answers to this than there are rice grains in a sack.

I don't think it's the agressive who sound off behind their screens. It's quite the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, arguably, for a lot of people a "no" raises the simple question "why, wtf is wrong with me?", sometimes followed by "christ, you ain't no oil painting" and then sometimes "mayeb you should try aiming at your own level you minger"

Seriously, even though we can all be level headed about everything here, a no is always being turned down and some people really can't cope with that.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The people who don't take rejection very well probably won't read the forums, so I doubt if anyone who does it will answer.

My _iew is......they get frustrated , want sex right that minute, you say no, they say along the lines of I didn't want ya anyway.

Par for the course.......the trick is to not let it bother you and see it for what it is..words on a screen that you can delete.

Sadly though, this has been done to death, and now I just get cynical when a man starts the subject.......sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Granny. Sadly getting an abusive reply to a polite "thanks but no thanks" is fairly common which is why many people don't reply. I do wonder if some guys get off on it judging from the graphic content of the replies. If I've had a bad day at work then sometimes I'll give back as good as I get but mostly I make good use of the block button.

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By *hristopher WalksMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Some people just don't like rejection or might think because this a site to have sex that everyone is going to say yes. I for one am glad when someone takes the time to say respond when they say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could not agree more with op.

If a member says 'No' then that is what it is from me

They just dont hear from me again and I move on but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Or just someone who has an option of wether to reply or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

Sorry, but I have to say, about this... "lol".

I must be an awful timewaster, by my estimate I haven't replied to over 300 people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of guys on here think that just because women and couples are on a swing site then they are going to shag anything so if they send you an email they think you are going to meet,thats why they cant handle rejection and get abusive.

Ive been called everything from a fat ugly fat slag and been told i deserved to be raped just because ive said thanks but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could not agree more with op.

If a member says 'No' then that is what it is from me

They just dont hear from me again and I move on but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

How can someone who doesnt want to reply to an email that they didnt ask for be a timewaster?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I can honestly say we have never had abusive mails like that when we have said no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

Sorry, but I have to say, about this... "lol".

I must be an awful timewaster, by my estimate I haven't replied to over 300 people. "

You have not had the pleasure of recieving one of my messages lol

So you dont count .

You are a bit of a 'show off ' lol

300 messages does fab even have that many genuine users lol .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could not agree more with op.

If a member says 'No' then that is what it is from me

They just dont hear from me again and I move on but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

How can someone who doesnt want to reply to an email that they didnt ask for be a timewaster?"

That's what I had on my mind too...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

" now I just get cynical when a man starts the subject.......sorry

It must be contagious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did say bordering on being a timewaster , please read before you start getting 'pissy' lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/10/10 15:15:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did say bordering on being a timewaster , please read before you start getting 'pissy' lmao

Wasnt getting pissy.. Would love to know how you think its bordering timewasting then? when you are the one who chooses to email someone and they choose not to reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP:

Some of us are intelligent enough to understand: swinging is not equal to shagging anyone. Some others are not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the OP:

Some of us are intelligent enough to understand: swinging is not equal to shagging anyone. Some others are not."

I am intelligent enough to understand the first bit of your statement but that last sentence I am finding hard to grasp in this context .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

Sorry, but I have to say, about this... "lol".

I must be an awful timewaster, by my estimate I haven't replied to over 300 people.

You have not had the pleasure of recieving one of my messages lol

So you dont count .

You are a bit of a 'show off ' lol

300 messages does fab even have that many genuine users lol .

Not showing off at all, I'm sure over a 6 month period most other women receive similar amounts.

But I guess you are only here to insult, so good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" now I just get cynical when a man starts the subject.......sorry

It must be contagious."

I just noticed where I got the idea for my avatar pic .

Thanks sharp dressed man , a brilliant invention for peeps that dont like showing their face in public lol

You are right its contagious a trend has begun lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If you want to see an aggressive reply to a 'no thanks'... send one to some of the women on here

Some have seriously lost touch with the real world and 100% believe the cyber-hype they are fed in order to make their knockers drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...but the ones that are difficult to judge are non-reply's for me that is bordering on being a timewaster .

Sorry, but I have to say, about this... "lol".

I must be an awful timewaster, by my estimate I haven't replied to over 300 people.

You have not had the pleasure of recieving one of my messages lol

So you dont count .

You are a bit of a 'show off ' lol

300 messages does fab even have that many genuine users lol .

Not showing off at all, I'm sure over a 6 month period most other women receive similar amounts.

But I guess you are only here to insult, so good luck."

If ever there was a case of a mis-understanding , it is this right here.

I am not sure if many others take my comments the same way but my intention is never to offend or insult .

Maybe a bit 'tactless' at times but never mean any harm

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

whoops - that should have said knickers... their knockers dropped years ago.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

when I go to Tesco's and walk up and down the aisles, I select some items and others I don't..

I apply the same principles to swinging

I have yet to hear the lady behind the deli counter yell at me... 'oi you, why the fuck have you not picked my wiltshire crumbed ham yu bald headed twat'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you want to see an aggressive reply to a 'no thanks'... send one to some of the women on here

Some have seriously lost touch with the real world and 100% believe the cyber-hype they are fed in order to make their knockers drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the OP:

Some of us are intelligent enough to understand: swinging is not equal to shagging anyone. Some others are not.

I am intelligent enough to understand the first bit of your statement but that last sentence I am finding hard to grasp in this context .

The problem might be with me as English isn't my first language.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"when I go to Tesco's and walk up and down the aisles, I select some items and others I don't..

I apply the same principles to swinging

I have yet to hear the lady behind the deli counter yell at me... 'oi you, why the fuck have you not picked my wiltshire crumbed ham yu bald headed twat'.

lmao........your posts are a godsend sometimes

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I did say bordering on being a timewaster "

It's no where near bordering on being a timewaster... it's not even on the same continent.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"when I go to Tesco's and walk up and down the aisles, I select some items and others I don't..

I apply the same principles to swinging

I have yet to hear the lady behind the deli counter yell at me... 'oi you, why the fuck have you not picked my wiltshire crumbed ham yu bald headed twat'.

lmao........your posts are a godsend sometimes"

yu are too kind xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"when I go to Tesco's and walk up and down the aisles, I select some items and others I don't..

I apply the same principles to swinging

I have yet to hear the lady behind the deli counter yell at me... 'oi you, why the fuck have you not picked my wiltshire crumbed ham yu bald headed twat'.

You obviously don't go shopping when they have work experience people in.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I swear to god (or whoever) I was in town last week and one of the high street stores was doing a group induction for their Christmas temps. Some lad had been given the job of offering people a basket. He approached the first woman, thrust a basket towards her mumbling the noise of a council donkey "e-yar". The woman attmpted to side-step him whilst saying "no thank you I don't need one" to which he clearly said "just here to rob then?".... I nearly wet my pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

say no?! I didn't even know it was an option

besides....my mom taught me beggars can't be choosers.

it's why i hide my veri's...it's a whose who of this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polo - that is the funniest thing I've heard today!!! Priceless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We find that the guys we say no to but who fit our age limit etc are very polite and usually thank us for replying. Unfortunately it's the young guys who are miles out of our age range who normally respond with a very rude reply which then gets them blocked.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha good one Polo

Wow, some good replies here to this, I had no intention of trying to dredge anything up or go over trampled ground, I just found it an interesting subject hehe.

I would agree though that some people seem to see the online world as a verbal free-for-all and are quite happy to hurl abuse when in actual fact maybe they wouldn't be like that "outside". So OK I can see that it's not just the aggressives that do it.... its the passive agressives too!

As I mentioned I'm just happy that someone has taken the time to write back to me.

OK fine if it's a "no" there is that little temporary sinking feeling but then that's part of being human.

I guess I just couldn't see why people wanted to slag off the other person purely because of being rejected (for want of a better word).

Harv

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

wold it not be an idea to expect a no, then when you get a yes it's a bonus?

wooppee!

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

coz some guys cant take being rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the mail where the email has said how much they want to meet me/Iam the best thing since sliced bread/just what they are looking for...and I have replied...to an email where the sender doesn't fit by any means what I am looking for..thanks but no thanks. totally polite...and got back an email saying....you are too old/fat/far away etc etc and why would i want to f**k you anyway? sorry but 10 minutes ago when you sent your email you did!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/10/10 23:00:23]

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

people do not like to be turned down. I as a women/couple do not like being turned down but i would never send a bad message back.. I have had messages and I have also sent a no thanks.

it is hard as a couple it is annoying to get so many messages of single men when it says on our profile we do not meet single men.

so staying nice as a single man messaging is a fab thing to do but even the nice guys get told to leg is sometimes because of not reading profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good Morning fabbers

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

We try to reply to as many as possible, but if someone is not in our age range or 100s of miles away we dont bother. To be honest very few have sent a shitty message back if we have said no. If they do we just ignore or block anyway as life is too short.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If I am showing as online for say 24 hours I can get 40plus emails in that time. Some are under my age range and some over and also some miles away or asking if I like phone or cam sex which are all against my preferences. I dont have the time to reply to everyone that hasnt bothered to read my profile. They choose to not read it, I choose to not reply to them. I am not a time waster. They are wasting my time by not reading my profile and being clearly out of my age range. I had a man of 60 mail me the other day. I am 38!! My dad is in his 60s.

I sometimes mail the person back saying thanks but no as I dont meet those that havent read my profile then delete and block them so dont get any nasty replies and tend to one they try contact me again in 3 months time.

I am not bodering on a time waster am I for not responding to every mail I get am I?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm not sure what the issue is. I used to feel a certain amount of guilt if I didn't respond to every PM I got and I still try really hard to reply. However, this morning I logged into a PM that said my profile is ridiculous and I'm a time waster like all the other women on this site. Bless... me thinks someone has had one too many rejections.

Still... it's nice to be nice and that was the response I got to a polite 'no thanks x'

As has been said above... when you have a ridiculous amount of messages from people who are outwith your preferences, is it rude not to reply? After all a 'no thanks' doesn't take much but when the ping pong starts with either abuse or an attempt to persuade you that they're different or mature for their age etc. where does it end?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is Ms here and I have had very similar experiences to the other female posters on this thread about the abusive replies or the "negotiation" that ensues when I have sent polite thanks but no thanks messages. Interestingly that's only when I reply but when Mr replies it's a different story and we get a "cheers mate" response!!

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