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Just Curious

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After a fantastic meet with an extremely attractive single woman last night...I am sitting here this morning, with my coffee thinking.

I know everyone has different boundaries and different thoughts on certain things. I am not asking advice...although I am still figuring out where my feelings lie with certain aspects of this world. I am just asking how you all feel with certain things because I am curious.

#1, How do you feel about kissing on the mouth during a meet? Me...I love to kiss. I really enjoy kissing other women during meets. We had never had it come up before, but last night, after our meet, Adam brought up that there was some kissing between him and her and asked how I felt about it because it was something we never really discussed. I knew it was happening last night and in the moment, it didn't really bother me. When he brought it up...I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I think kissing is a really intimate act. On one hand, I feel that it is too intimate to be shared. On the other, I like to kiss the women we meet, so I feel a bit hypocritical asking him not to. It's something that we'll have to iron out some more.

#2, Are there any solely soft swap couples? I am asking because we have met with single women on 2 different occasions and we have met with couples. Single women work best for us at this moment. I got into the lifestyle for the girl/girl aspect of it. I really have no desire for another man. I'm not sure why that is...but it's not really something I want or need at this point. Up until last night, our rule was no penetration. Adam gave me a look in the middle of playing last night and I gave him the go ahead. I wasn't exactly sure how it would affect me, but I actually had no issue with seeing him fucking her. Which leads me to another question...

#3 Does anyone have an issue with another person making their partner cum? This came up at a couples meet. I was watching a women give Adam a blow job and I was good with that...until he came. Then I had issue with it. We discussed it afterwards and came to a solution...but this brings me to yet another question.

#4 Do you have different rule/boundaries or feel differently about your rules and boundaries with different people?

Like I said, the three of us were participating in touching and oral last night. She asked to watch him fuck me...and that was good...then he gave me a look like he wanted to penetrate her. I gave him the permission and was fine about it. I was also fine with her making him cum...however that was NOT at all my reaction with the last women that made him cum. I think it's a comfort level thing for me and we'll have to figure out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your last sentence is exactly right. Do what is right for you. I've read lots of posts from lots of people. The general consensus is... everyone is different.

It's not wrong to do what you're doing so don't ever let anyone make you feel it is wrong. As long as you are both happy is all that matters.

I actually think it's ok to change the rules on the night. If one of you is unhappy, have a look or a sign that lets the other person know. Just because you did something one time doesn't mean you will do it again. Every situation is different.

Sorry on my phone and can't remember what else you said/ asked. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for your response Scarlet. It can be such a tricky thing. I think it has to do with personalities and who I feel most comfortable sharing him with.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The only thing I disagree with in Scarlett's thread is as long as you're both happy, I think during the meet that should include all of you. As long as everyone's happy with what's going on it can't be wrong and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing I disagree with in Scarlett's thread is as long as you're both happy, I think during the meet that should include all of you. As long as everyone's happy with what's going on it can't be wrong and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks "

I agree with this too. Sorry I was thinking from the couple's point of view in that their relationship is most important. In that if the additional person wants to do something but one of the couple doesn't want to, the couple should take priority and they shouldn't do it. If that makes sense.

But NOT that if the couple do want to do something but the additional person doesn't want to then the couple should. In that case the couple should respect the additional person's wishes.

No idea if that makes sense. I know what I mean but there will be a much simpler way of saying it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing I disagree with in Scarlett's thread is as long as you're both happy, I think during the meet that should include all of you. As long as everyone's happy with what's going on it can't be wrong and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks

I agree with this too. Sorry I was thinking from the couple's point of view in that their relationship is most important. In that if the additional person wants to do something but one of the couple doesn't want to, the couple should take priority and they shouldn't do it. If that makes sense.

But NOT that if the couple do want to do something but the additional person doesn't want to then the couple should. In that case the couple should respect the additional person's wishes.

No idea if that makes sense. I know what I mean but there will be a much simpler way of saying it. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh yes. EVERYONE should be comfortable. No question there.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The only thing I disagree with in Scarlett's thread is as long as you're both happy, I think during the meet that should include all of you. As long as everyone's happy with what's going on it can't be wrong and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks

I agree with this too. Sorry I was thinking from the couple's point of view in that their relationship is most important. In that if the additional person wants to do something but one of the couple doesn't want to, the couple should take priority and they shouldn't do it. If that makes sense.

But NOT that if the couple do want to do something but the additional person doesn't want to then the couple should. In that case the couple should respect the additional person's wishes.

No idea if that makes sense. I know what I mean but there will be a much simpler way of saying it. "

I know what you mean and I guessed you meant it anyway

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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago

bournemouth

I am beginning to think there are two types of couple swingers( maybe more)

1 The type that loves watching their partner have sex with another person doesnt matter if same or opposite sex and share that experience as a couple.

2 The type that enjoy sex with someone different but are a bit uncertain on seeing their partner being satisfied by another person.

Luckily we are type one, I (mr) really enjoy watching K having fun and like taking photo's which we enjoy looking at,I have as yet never felt any doubts watching her kiss,suck or fuck another guy and while I enjoy joining in and playing with other ladies if I cant watch K it lessens our fun. K says she finds the same.

I know we are all different but I cant help but feel type 2 arent quite as relaxed and soon enough swinging will cause problems when jealousy starts to rear its head, a couple who agree on soft swing only are fine but then one wants to go further or when does making a man cum with your mouth stop being soft swing? It seems kissing does push some peoples boundaries as well

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Mrs P wasn't comfortable kissing other men for a long time. She felt it was 'our thing' that she could only share with me. Though she loved to watch me kiss other girls.

Over time she come to realise that kissing is a big part of the fun for us and actually if you think about it, if you are prepared to suck a guys cock that's quite a bit more intimate than a kiss in reality.

We were softswap for a year or two when we started. Over time our confidence built, we learnt how to deal with situations and scenarios.

D wanted to see me with another female so that happened.

Now if she feels confident and comfortable the right male may get lucky. It's not something she gives away cheap but it is something that she now does.

One thing we do which has really helped us is... We discuss a meet after the meet, if we want to we may move some boundaries, however we never change boundaries during a meet only between meets. That way there's never been any confusion or miss-understanding leading to disagreements.

It's just one step at a time. We have always looked at our boundaries and asked ourselves 'why' and 'does our reason make sense'.

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By *at-cWoman
over a year ago

Ballyshannon


"I am beginning to think there are two types of couple swingers( maybe more)

1 The type that loves watching their partner have sex with another person doesnt matter if same or opposite sex and share that experience as a couple.

2 The type that enjoy sex with someone different but are a bit uncertain on seeing their partner being satisfied by another person.

Luckily we are type one, I (mr) really enjoy watching K having fun and like taking photo's which we enjoy looking at,I have as yet never felt any doubts watching her kiss,suck or fuck another guy and while I enjoy joining in and playing with other ladies if I cant watch K it lessens our fun. K says she finds the same.

I know we are all different but I cant help but feel type 2 arent quite as relaxed and soon enough swinging will cause problems when jealousy starts to rear its head, a couple who agree on soft swing only are fine but then one wants to go further or when does making a man cum with your mouth stop being soft swing? It seems kissing does push some peoples boundaries as well "

As a single female I won't meet couples on my own now, only if I can bring a friend. While I had great experiences with couples like type 1, the type 2's kill it for me.

Rules and boundaries should be clear before the meet, if you are going to hold the guest responsible for these rules and boundaries then you need to make them clear before the meet and allow them decide if they are rules they are happy with.

If the rules are broken then it's not the guest's fault, it's the fault of the person who broke the rules. Quite often the guests in the equation are made to feel they are being almost blamed for an over-eager partner pushing his (usually his) luck or left uncomfortable when the atmosphere shifts unpleasantly.

But then again a long list of rules and regulations would be off putting for me also. As the other poster said, Type 1 are brilliant fun, the buzz with relaxed sexually generous people is brilliant, but it's hard to be sure thats what you're getting. I'm not criticising the OPs feelings, they are perfectly valid and I'm not saying she behaved badly, but as one who has been stuck in that horrible situation where someone has gotten upset I'd suggest you figure out quickly what is and is not okay.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Oh and if I see someone make D cum I'm interested to know what they did and if it's anything different to me! Lol

Why would you deny your partner that pleasure? Would you want team to deny you that pleasure? That's how we look at it.

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By *at-cWoman
over a year ago

Ballyshannon


"

One thing we do which has really helped us is... We discuss a meet after the meet, if we want to we may move some boundaries, however we never change boundaries during a meet only between meets. That way there's never been any confusion or miss-understanding leading to disagreements.

It's just one step at a time. We have always looked at our boundaries and asked ourselves 'why' and 'does our reason make sense'."

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

we're definitely type one now. But can you really be sure how you will react while you are still finding your feet when starting out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and if I see someone make D cum I'm interested to know what they did and if it's anything different to me! Lol

Why would you deny your partner that pleasure? Would you want team to deny you that pleasure? That's how we look at it."

Why would you want to deny your partner that pleasure ?

Simple answer is insecurity and jealousy .

Would you want them to deny you that pleasure ?

Only if you want to sure that the meet you voice your desire to deny them is gonna be your last ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know a few people in this lifestyle that have somewhat of an issue with someone else making their partner cum. To each his/her own, I guess. As for taking that pleasure from them...for us...this is a couple activity...if either of us is that uncomfortable it is taking pleasure from that person. I know (A) doesn't have an issue if I tell him I am not comfortable with someone else making him cum. He can play to that point and then finish with me. However, allowing it even though I am uncomfortable with it would do more harm than good for us...so if I don't feel it should happen, he respects that...just as I would for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be the female who is playing blind.... As you guys have your own boundaries that may never have been expressed to the third person.... It can be a little upsetting to hear you offended a couple because you genuiely don't know the in/outs of the no nos as it is all a learning curve. I also know that I just aim for everyone to have fun and never be left out whilst playing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh definitely...and this lovely lady did not cross anything that we weren't begging to be crossed. It has happened in the past though and the sad thing is...in that situation...the other person was well aware of the boundaries and crossed them anyway. We no longer play with that person.

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