FabSwingers.com forum: non replies to a messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

FAQs say: No reply = no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"FAQs say: No reply = no."

It's still rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if that person clearly doesn't meet the type of person we wish to meet, we won't answer it either.

No reply = not interested.

Nobody is entitled to replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could at least write back with something like... "shame".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But if that person clearly doesn't meet the type of person we wish to meet, we won't answer it either.

No reply = not interested.

Nobody is entitled to replies."

Appreciated but it doesn't make it anymore polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FAQs say: No reply = no.

It's still rude"

You may see it that way, but often enough the recipient gets so many messages that it would be a waste of time saying "no thanks" to everyone who asks. Most then get a follow up message asking "why not?" Or alternatively, some abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a womans world and they get inundated with millions of emails aday, so they got no time to reply to all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when they msg you thwn don't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you really need rejection in writing?

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By *rSuave88Man
over a year ago

Mirfield

OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody hell u guys have got a lot to learn about this place !

It's a buyers market for the ladies on here and so as a guy your a throw away commodity!

Even the mangers can be chooses !

Don't get wound up about it just smile and move on u ain't gonna change it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But if that person clearly doesn't meet the type of person we wish to meet, we won't answer it either.

No reply = not interested.

Nobody is entitled to replies.

Appreciated but it doesn't make it anymore polite"

Oh well, we'll be rude to those we don't reply to..............think we'll get over the disappointment at their opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!"

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont reply and if anyone actually reads my profile they'll get a "if i dont reply thanks but no thanks." So i dont have to say it constantly.

Also when i have answers saying no i get a shit load of abuse. So I'll just be rude thanks.

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By *rSuave88Man
over a year ago

Mirfield

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?"

Small handful, however if i had many id do my best to reply to all even if most said 'no thanks', 5 seconds thats all..

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Its a womans world and they get inundated with millions of emails aday, so they got no time to reply to all lol

Yep. Millions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair in my experience most do reply and have very good manners .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?

Small handful, however if i had many id do my best to reply to all even if most said 'no thanks', 5 seconds thats all.. "

So messages like nice tits, come sit on my cock deserve an answer?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Its a womans world and they get inundated with millions of emails aday, so they got no time to reply to all lol

Yep. Millions

I'm nose deep in messages me.

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By *rSuave88Man
over a year ago

Mirfield

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?

Small handful, however if i had many id do my best to reply to all even if most said 'no thanks', 5 seconds thats all..

So messages like nice tits, come sit on my cock deserve an answer?"

That first one was a compliment! Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a female friend on here who said she can get more than 100 messages a day, so if she's not looking she'll just bulk delete. Because she's told me this I send messages but never expect a response, and I almost find a short "no thanks" harder to take than a no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get over a hundred and most messages arent worthy of a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find if I reply with a no thanks. They ask why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?

Small handful, however if i had many id do my best to reply to all even if most said 'no thanks', 5 seconds thats all..

So messages like nice tits, come sit on my cock deserve an answer?

That first one was a compliment! Haha"

And I often reply with a thanks but I had over 600 messages in my inbox yesterday. Sorry that is too many to reply to all so I just ended up deleting them all.

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By *rSuave88Man
over a year ago

Mirfield

Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find if I reply with a no thanks. They ask why.

And try to convince you i find

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find if I reply with a no thanks. They ask why.

This or "what a shame- what are you up to today" so I feel like I have to reply which then makes them think I'm actually interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a female friend on here who said she can get more than 100 messages a day, so if she's not looking she'll just bulk delete. Because she's told me this I send messages but never expect a response, and I almost find a short "no thanks" harder to take than a no reply."

That's the problem unfortunately. You could construct a message worthy of an award and it may not get read. Fuck all you can do about it. Cest La vie.

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By *ubyrumCouple
over a year ago

wigan

Everytime a man moans about not getting replies I always want to organise for everyone on here to message him everyday and see how long it takes for him to write and send 'sorry no thanks '

50+ X a day, every week, whether you are online or not, whether you put you are looking or not on your status, even if you put DO NOT MESSAGE ME

Don't forget every time they delete...We need to send another 10

See if that demonstrates the reason why women don't reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FAQs say: No reply = no.

It's still rude"

Why do you expect politeness from someone that has no interest in communicating with you?

You didn't have to write to them, it was your choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain"

When the site FAQ's say it, why should we have it on our profiles too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP didnt say he was entitled to a reply, he said it was rude. Which it is. A no thanks only takes 5 seconds to send.

I clearly state i am straight yet get gay males messaging me but i still reply no thanks. Its just decency!

How many messages do you reply to on a daily basis?

Small handful, however if i had many id do my best to reply to all even if most said 'no thanks', 5 seconds thats all.. "

Friend of mine recently joined the site.

160 messages in the first hour.

It takes more than an hour to read and reply to that number of messages....given that most women will look at profile before they read the message.

The messages came in faster than its possible to answer....and that was with her offline....it's worse if online doing the answering.

Only possible way to deal with was a mass delete.... So not rude...just the only practical alternative.

I saw a few of the messages....clearly sent by fuckwits who can't read.

While OP may not be in that category the good messages sadly get deleted along with the spam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain

When the site FAQ's say it, why should we have it on our profiles too?

Not to mention the countless threads on this forum debating this very question...

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

We've just received one a couple of minutes ago that consists of "wow, yummy".

No idea if they mean me or him

So why should I respond to that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everytime a man moans about not getting replies I always want to organise for everyone on here to message him everyday and see how long it takes for him to write and send 'sorry no thanks '

50+ X a day, every week, whether you are online or not, whether you put you are looking or not on your status, even if you put DO NOT MESSAGE ME

Don't forget every time they delete...We need to send another 10

See if that demonstrates the reason why women don't reply!"

I like this idea................

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I skim read the contents of mine without opening. If I am interested I'll open it, read it and reply. As for the many I get from chancers saying hi, or nice tits or lovely big ass or the like, they could have just read my profile to see how I answer and respond to messages and that a no reply means I am either not interested or don't have time to meet. I also have my 'looking for' turned off so people get a warning when they message me. If they still choose to ignore all that and contact me anyway (which is surely it's own form of apparent 'rudeness') then I feel no guilt whatsoever in choosing not to respond.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Everytime a man moans about not getting replies I always want to organise for everyone on here to message him everyday and see how long it takes for him to write and send 'sorry no thanks '

50+ X a day, every week, whether you are online or not, whether you put you are looking or not on your status, even if you put DO NOT MESSAGE ME

Don't forget every time they delete...We need to send another 10

See if that demonstrates the reason why women don't reply!

I like this idea................

Me too

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

When you get 1000 plus messages a week who cares how witty,and well crafted your message is.if you are not remotely raising an interest why waste your time replying to everyone you will never meet or wont to bang.people have much better things to do with their time

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I have turned on my 'looking for men' bit for the first time since I joined. I have received about 30+ messages in just over an hour!!! There's no way I'm going to have the time or inclination to reply to all of them. So I'll be skim reading to or just looking at the ones that are local to me. I guess I need to refine my filters to because I don't want to come across as rude

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

When I joined the site I tried to respond to everyone but it's just too much, especially when I have stated clearly in my profile what I do not want and those men still message me. When I say no thanks they ask why or how they are not my type and they could easily change my mind.

Its not worth the hassle of replying most of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys, refer to site FAQ's which state that it is not rude not to reply and explains why this is the case.

In ordinary everyday life, maybe, but fab has defined that in this environment, it is not.

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By *arty LoversCouple
over a year ago

kent

We don't reply to messages to people who put. "Hey, how's you?" Or "got any face pics" especially when they have non or just a cock on their profile. Or even been on the site for a year with not glimmer of verification. Just saying lol :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like I say no matter how ugly a woman is on here blokes still inundate them with messages !

Supply and demand

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Like I say no matter how ugly a woman is on here blokes still inundate them with messages !

Supply and demand"

Wow, thanks. I feel special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain

When the site FAQ's say it, why should we have it on our profiles too?

Because most men need it spelt out. And even that isnt enough. Guess the only way is to tattoo it on your breast.

It also gives me ammo when they send a second message to ask "why dont you like me"

Because you didn't read my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain

When the site FAQ's say it, why should we have it on our profiles too?

Because most men need it spelt out. And even that isnt enough. Guess the only way is to tattoo it on your breast.

It also gives me ammo when they send a second message to ask "why dont you like me"

Because you didn't read my profile. "

But babe... I can change hunni!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like I say no matter how ugly a woman is on here blokes still inundate them with messages !

Supply and demand

Wow, thanks. I feel special

I was generalising !

I'm sure your lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww bless all the Egos that need massaging. Bring on the violins.

Gimp

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

I will usually reply and block, but if they have clearly taken no time nor made any effort, I will just block. Similarly with the long winded, I will tell you what I want to do, who cares what you want to do message ... block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've responded to all 3 of the people who have messaged me so far. Everyone should basically follow my 100 per cent response lead!

Don't take it personally if someone doesn't reply. We all have different tastes so dust yourself down and move on to the next message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awww bless all the Egos that need massaging. Bring on the violins.

Gimp

Lol that's probably correct !

Guys need to understand and move on

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

If you reply it opens them up to message when you put filters on. Then a year later you get a message saying "hey long time no speak how's u?" And you're left wondering what the hell you spoke about when it's clear you've nothing in common!

Easier to just be seen as rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like I say no matter how ugly a woman is on here blokes still inundate them with messages !

Supply and demand"

Well those blokes are fucking stupid then & don't deserve a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I compliment some women on their pics...boobs...butt whatever...tho not in a fuck me now manner and I get thanks and replies. There are some hot women who understand honest praise and are very kind in replying...and think highly of them more making the effort. But no reply is fine...women can't reply to all. End of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take non replies as a no thanks and move on.

I've started blocking if they don't reply or say there not interested.

Not out of anything nasty just so we can't waste each others time in the future.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"FAQs say: No reply = no.

It's still rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it purely from the thread title alone I could tell exactly what the ops profile would be like without opening it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

Why get so worked up over nothing,they obviously did not want to meet you and was not interested,the person/couple might get 100 plus messages a day,so they cant reply to all off them.Move on,your coming across a tad crazy,and if people in your local area read this,then you might not get no more meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand the bulk delete if you have hundreds, I think what the OP is trying to say is when you've taken time, thought and effort into an opening message and it's read (not unread deleted) it's this that's grinding his gears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

I normally reply with a polite let down unless I get one line messages or shite grammar.. pet hate of mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deeply desire has the right approach by stating in profile 'no reply then not interested' with a disclaimer like that there isnt much room to complain"

Problem with that is 90% of men do not read profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we message anyone we give a certain amount of time after they've read it and if there's no reply we block, obviously they're not interested which isn't a problem, but by blocking it saves messaging them again. You just have to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we message anyone we give a certain amount of time after they've read it and if there's no reply we block, obviously they're not interested which isn't a problem, but by blocking it saves messaging them again. You just have to move on."

Wouldn't it be easier to just look at the little box that says how long ago you messaged them and if they replied?

Maybe they just overlooked your message by accident. It happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i replied to every single message i got i'd have no time for all of the filthy sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FAQs say: No reply = no.

It's still rude"

I agree...but would you really want to meet someone that is that rude that can't type a simple not for me msg?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

Do you reply to every piece of mail that comes through your letterbox? Didn't think so.

Read the site FAQ's and grow a thicker skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair in my experience most do reply and have very good manners .

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

So by sending a message you already have an expectatio?

By Choosing to send a message to someone it doesn't entitle you to a response, on here or any where

All this 'its rude not to answer ' nonsense is rubbish ......do you personally go through All of your emails and answer everyone? Responding no thanks to each piece of mail sitting in the junk mail? Because the bulk of them are well thought out and written nicely

I personally think it is rude to think you are entitled to any sort of response from a stranger you approach

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I got 11 messages yesterday all asking me to meet. Yet my profile clearly says im not looking to meet at the moment.

They all got deleted. Why should i waste my time replying to each one when they clearly have not read my profile?

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over

I quiet agree... The profile is key to getting a reply to a message no matter how carefully crafted it is.

I still the analogy of junk mail is so apt here.

The writers of it believe they have carefully worded their message and personalised and accurately targeted it as far as possible, using all the marketing demographic techniques, but a quick glance at the product on offer is what decides what is worth replying to....and if it's not, well would you write a reply explaining why?

No I didn't think so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All single guys should stop messaging for a week. The site would go into meltdown lol.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"

Would the following be any better than no message? (This is a purely hypothetical response!)

"Hi. Thanks for your message. It is obvious that you have spent a great deal of time constructing a grammatically correct, spellchecked, witty, informative, creative and unique message, personal to us that has never before been sent to anyone else. For this we are eternally grateful. It is so rare that we receive a message such as this. The majority are one liners, simple 'hi' statements and 'how are you?' questions which tell us neither anything about the sender and their motives for contacting us or why we would potentially be interested in them. It's a very refreshing change to get something more detailed and personal. So thanks. However..............

Whilst you assume based on the limited info on our profile (our age criteria, sexual interests, location etc.) that you are a potentially suitable companion for us to get jiggy with - sadly this couldn't be further from the truth. There is nothing in your profile remotely of interest to us, from your choice of pics to the text you have written. To be honest if you were the only other person on site we'd still say no. Even if we were all stuck on a desert island and one of the two of us died after eating a dodgy jellyfish sandwich - it would still be no, and a lifetime of self abuse behind that clump of coconut trees would commence. And no - you can't watch either. So sorry. As the above explains it's a definite, permanent, never to be reconsidered, unquestionable and irrevocable no. Have a nice day."

Personally I'd just rather the message was deleted/ignored.

*the above message is available for rent - at very reasonable rates. Cut and pasters will be pursued and spanked with wet lettuce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over

Would the following be any better than no message? (This is a purely hypothetical response!)

Personally I'd just rather the message was deleted/ignored.

*the above message is available for rent - at very reasonable rates. Cut and pasters will be pursued and spanked with wet lettuce."

So was that a no?

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By *ngie1962Couple
over a year ago

Bedford

"Hi...I've got to say it's very annoying and rude when you take the time to write out an original...witty and tailored message ...at length ...and then do not get a reply once read..........

a simple.... no thanks....would be enough ! !!...but a lot of people ask you for a decent message more than a few lines long in the first place......practice what u preach I say.....rant over"
we have replied to to guys and couples with a no thankyou but then they message back wanting to start up a conversation

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By *randnew23sumsCouple
over a year ago

Lancashire

We try and reply to all messages but as many other people have said when you do say no thanks you get the "Why not?" etc. messages.

I'm off to reply to all my spam emails on my yahoo and gmail accounts now, don't want all those Nigerian royals thinking I'm rude.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"We try and reply to all messages but as many other people have said when you do say no thanks you get the "Why not?" etc. messages.

I'm off to reply to all my spam emails on my yahoo and gmail accounts now, don't want all those Nigerian royals thinking I'm rude.

We can't be arsed replying tbh. We don't even use that carefully constructed response above.

There's a huge fucking clue on our profile as to why there's no point messaging asking to meet. Most either don't spot it or choose to ignore it.

So there's no guilt on our part when hitting delete.

And never will be.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

"All single guys should stop messaging for a week. The site would go into meltdown lol."

Assuming only single guys send messages? Lol

They aren't, they also aren't the only ones on here that send unwanted messages and then get mardy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually wait for people to find me.Lots of random messages to people who have not expressed an interest seems like a waste of time and effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a standard cut and paste no thank you.

Sometimes I add a few lines to it dependent on location or what they have sent me.

I have found that, for me, it's the best approach.

1) I sometimes feel rude not replying.

2) I got abuse in the early days when I didn't reply, I find I get less when I do.

3) most of the time, if I get a reply it's a thank you for replying. I ignore any further ones.

4) when they come back and message again in a few months time I know that I have turned them down before, tell them so and block them

I get a lot of messages and it can sometimes be a time consuming approach but it works for me.

In the end you need to remember that no-one on here owes you anything. They each have their own method of managing their mail.

The one thing I can say is that guys who sit on here complaining about how mean and rude women are on here are guys I block every time.

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