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give them a chance or just block?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We opened up our profile to single guys last week. We thought it might have been a bad idea but have actually had some great messages of some lovely guys.

However, most of our meets are generally house calls and we have had some great nights and made some great friends with practically all of our meets.

This week we've had a few messages from guys who say can accommodate in their profile yet when weve started chatting this is something they seem reluctant to do. I absolutely understand that to invite strangers into your home takes a great deal of trust and if it was a single girl I completely understand why its not a preference. I understand also that guys may be hiding a relationship somewhere too.Which is something we dont approve of.

I suppose the question im trying to ask is would u block someone u think is lying about accommodating a meet or give them a chance?

Would like opinions on this please

Mrs Nico

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

why should inviting someone into your home be different for men or women.... as you said, most of yours are "away visits"....

i don't accom anyone i haven't already met on several occasions... my house is my "safe space"... just as it would be for a couple... just as i assume it would be for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

men need to consider thier own safety too, not just women,

and women can be hiding relationships same as men can.

i do despair of this kind of stereotyping!!!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"why should inviting someone into your home be different for men or women.... as you said, most of yours are "away visits"....

i don't accom anyone i haven't already met on several occasions... my house is my "safe space"... just as it would be for a couple... just as i assume it would be for you"

This.

Always best to ask them.

'Can accomodate' may mean all the time, at weekends, when the kids are at the other halfs, occasionally, at hotels, in a caravan parked in a layby.....endless variables.

Just ask.

And if you don't like the answer? Move on.

Blocking is entirely at your discretion.

A

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

I would always give someone a chance. Just because you can accommodate does not mean always. Neither myself or my bf can, but we have discussed the fact that we may well be able to when we are living together and if the kids are away over the summer ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree with u totally. I think its because they say they can but obviously cant it makes me feel like their being shady I suppose. Was wondering what others do in this situation.

We've only been talking to single guys for a week so just working on how to get the good from the bad. Some do explain about why they cant but may occasionally be able to, its the ones that kinda swerve around their situation.

How do other couples choose their meets with single guys? Its new to us!

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I'm not a couple, so my take on this is from a slightly different angle.

I would not accommodate at my home until I was absolutely sure of someone - this is my safe place, and also my sons home.

If a fella says he can accommodate and then gets all shady when asked - I would simply ask him why not? Don't like the answer, then you can move on.

I also always do a social meet somewhere neutral for a start too - to keep both parties safe - you never really do know who you are meeting, and it pays to think safety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We do usually go for a drink first with potential meets and weve usually had a couple of chats on the phone too. We do understand that's for everybodys safety and to obviously make sure everyone is on the same level.

I think that because weve only met couples before, and obviously they both have each other for reassurance and have talked it through together, it is going to be very different when meeting a single guy. We always tell our potential meets that there is never any expectation to play and if anyone is uncomfortable with anything then it stops and theres no bad feeling.

Generally the people we have met think the same but I be will taking extra care if its just someone on their own. I would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable in any situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block

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