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Check-ups

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By *ohjane OP   Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

OOOOOH Bl... H.... !!!!

I always ask the question; "When did you last have a check-up?" of everyone I speak to with a _iew to meet.

This is the third guy in as many days who has responded with the utmost huff and bluster and told me off for even SUGGESTing that they might be in need of such a service. And in all three cases the guys said that they had NEVER had a check-up. They were all three in their mid and late twenties and they are on a SWINGERS site !! Is it THAT unreasonable for me to ask the question, for my own peace of mind's sake ??

The most interesting thing that came out of all three conversations were that they " had not been near any swingers yet" or they" don't have sex with girls found in the gutters or " they have only ever been in long term relationships" . . .

I think a serious attitude shift is needed, both regarding what is safe and sensible and also regarding the way some people think of swingers.

I am offended on behalf of most of us !!

Phew ! Rant over. Sorry folks, I just had to get this off my chest.

Jane x

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By *asochrisMan
over a year ago

cardiff

It's worrying isn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are checked regualar as clock work if we visit the doctors for some anti biotice we get him to do a test. we are open with our doctor and health professionals about what we do. touch wood so far we have never had an issue. but that doesnt mean we would take things for granted we always have a check up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your question was very reasonable and if they have a problem.. let them move on!

I have asked the same question to women I have met in the past...

Well done and keep asking away We need more responsible people like yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think your question was very reasonable and if they have a problem.. let them move on!

I have asked the same question to women I have met in the past...

Well done and keep asking away We need more responsible people like yourself "

Well said

We see it as a massive positive if someone asks the question.

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By *slandcplCouple
over a year ago

canvey island

I couldn’t agree more! We are checked at least twice a year and in my opinion with the hobby that we have it would be not only stupid not to be fully checked, it would be bordering on criminal. The logical follow up to your point is how to promote both safe sex and regular check-ups without scaring people away from swinging. An example would be a poster in a club depicting one possible outcome of one person playing having contracted an STI. But then how many clubs would place such a poster? r perhaps it’s time for another blanket approach to sexual health such as HIV campaign in the 80s?

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

It makes me laugh just how stupid some people are. Tbh I may be a bit bias as I'm a little paranoid of such things lol. I don't usualy let it affect how I play (as in what sex acts I perform) but I usualy go to the clinic after every new partner. I know it might sound excessive, but I don't meet very often anyway so it only works out at around 3-4 times a year. It's all well and good using condoms. But how is that gonna protect you if you've had your face buried between someones legs, between their bum cheeks or had their cock down your throat!?!?

I think it would put quite a strain in the health service, but I think it would be good to have an anual campaign for everyone to get checked out. My on/off gf can't conceive naturally as she had chlamydia for quite a while before meeting me. An now her tubes are blocked so her only chance of having kids is IVF. I was by no means the first person she'd slept with. But surprisingly I was the first person who ever used protection with her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could have said yes we been tested,was tested 4 wks ago and everything fine,but how would you know they were telling the truth? Would you want to see proof that they were clean?

Just for the record too we are tested regulary x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!

I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place.

I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!!

We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

...every 3 months ... staff are always good and friendly, puts one at ease no matter what kind of day I've had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They could have said yes we been tested,was tested 4 wks ago and everything fine,but how would you know they were telling the truth? Would you want to see proof that they were clean?

Just for the record too we are tested regulary x"

When I get tested I always ask for a text message to be sent to my mobile phone and then I keep that text which is dated and also time stamped. If anyone ask can show them when last checked up...

However this does still does not mean someone is 100% clean as they could have had unprotected sex since then!

Life is like 'Russian Roulette'.. scarey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone can send themselves a text though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone can send themselves a text though "

Very True

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol


"OOOOOH Bl... H.... !!!!

I always ask the question; "When did you last have a check-up?" of everyone I speak to with a _iew to meet.

This is the third guy in as many days who has responded with the utmost huff and bluster and told me off for even SUGGESTing that they might be in need of such a service. And in all three cases the guys said that they had NEVER had a check-up. They were all three in their mid and late twenties and they are on a SWINGERS site !! Is it THAT unreasonable for me to ask the question, for my own peace of mind's sake ??

The most interesting thing that came out of all three conversations were that they " had not been near any swingers yet" or they" don't have sex with girls found in the gutters or " they have only ever been in long term relationships" . . .

I think a serious attitude shift is needed, both regarding what is safe and sensible and also regarding the way some people think of swingers.

I am offended on behalf of most of us !!

Phew ! Rant over. Sorry folks, I just had to get this off my chest.

Jane x"

the main issue is... regardless if someone has been tested within the last month how do you know if they havent had sex with some one last night who was not clean?

Condoms are the only way to be safe.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Here's the really scary question(s):

1) Would you even want to have sex with someone if you suspected the slighted chance of them having something?

2) If yes to the above - would it matter even if they had protection?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

generally once every 3 months for us unless we have been luckier than usual and managed to get some meets, basically it's about peace of mind and getting checked when we feel we should, the process couldn't be simpler, google local GUM clinic, most have a "walk in" service available, go along have your tests (in some you need to ask for oral tests as they don't all do them automatically) and a couple of weeks later at most you get the result (often you can phone for the results)

The old Stigma of going to the "clap clinic" no longer exists, people accept that these days many people get checked simply for peace of mind. It is more like going to recieve your "badge of honour" than "wonder what they have been upto" people respect you in the GUM clinic for having the brains and gumption to get themselves checked.

In 10 years as a swinger I have never had a test come back with bad news but that won't stop me getting checked.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

We dont have a gum clinic here but i have mine done when i go for "ladies problem" with the nurse. I dont ask until i get in there or phone for my results as my mother is head receptionist at our doctors lol

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By *ohjane OP   Couple
over a year ago

south staffs


"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!

I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place.

I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!!

We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand! "

My main reason for asking the question is to gauge that person's reaction, and to strike up a conversation about sexual health and their attitude towards it. I don't feel that it is paranoid. If I didn't ask, I would not know, and I do ask for proof too.

I, too, look after myself, but as we all know, it is still possible to catch STI's from oral either way if it is done without condoms, as seems to be the accepted way with most of the swingers I have read/spoken to. That is why I get a check-up between new partners as far as practicable.

I worry a little about the "I only take care of myself" attitude, as I believe that swingers, indeed all sexually active adults, should look out for their health to safeguard everyone.

I rest my case.

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!

I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place.

I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!!

We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand! "

You obviously are paranoid about it because you dont beleive a word someone tells you if they are checked lol

YOu have contradicted yourself here a bit. llol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!

I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place.

I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!!

We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand!

My main reason for asking the question is to gauge that person's reaction, and to strike up a conversation about sexual health and their attitude towards it. I don't feel that it is paranoid. If I didn't ask, I would not know, and I do ask for proof too.

I, too, look after myself, but as we all know, it is still possible to catch STI's from oral either way if it is done without condoms, as seems to be the accepted way with most of the swingers I have read/spoken to. That is why I get a check-up between new partners as far as practicable.

I worry a little about the "I only take care of myself" attitude, as I believe that swingers, indeed all sexually active adults, should look out for their health to safeguard everyone.

I rest my case.

Jane x "

My post is very clear, it's about how I deal with matters, not about how others conduct their business.

I think it's naive to assume playmates will tell you the truth, and that holding in depth conversations about sexual health some how makes the play safer.

How many thread do we read about married men claiming to be single, bi men pretending to be straight - people lie to get what they want.

My _iew is all I can control is myself. I don't attend clubs etc and I don't for one single moment believe all those that attend ask the people they're about to shag when they last went to a GUM clinic...they go prepared to protect themselves and have fun otherwise as I said we'd all stay home with our bits of plastic!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!

I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place.

I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!!

We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand!

You obviously are paranoid about it because you dont beleive a word someone tells you if they are checked lol

YOu have contradicted yourself here a bit. llol"

I don't see how you come to that conclusion - and I wont be wasting time worrying about it either.

As I've said, I can't control what others do or say - you'll find me cynical which is rather different from contradictory - but hey ho!

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By *teph_NaturallyTV/TS
over a year ago

Kettering

I'm lucky enought to live 200m from the clinic...its so easy to go for regular check ups! ..and I do..its not only my life, but that of others im putting at risk if i didn't! Common sense even tho i practice safe sex

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think sexual health declaration forms and biro's should be mandatory at the entrance of every dogging site..

you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... risks in everything you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... "

THAT'S the point I'm making!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health...

THAT'S the point I'm making! "

I know... I is agreeing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Due to a blood condition I have I have a full blood screening done (which they do include STD's) Every 3 months.

On top of that I go to the clinic every 3 months too.

I agree that it is not unreasonable to expect others to do the same.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health...

THAT'S the point I'm making!

I know... I is agreeing "

I know... highlighting it for those who misinterpreted my point!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go and get checked every 4 weeks, i live about a mile away from chameleons club who do a sexual health clinic every 4 mondays, i go to chams mondays anyway so that week i just pop in early do the tests then carry on with the night as usual

saying that if i was asked when i last went for a check up by someone on here i have to be honest i think i would tell them to mind their own buisness, i think looking after my health is my buisness and i dont have to explain myself to anyone else

and if people choose not to meet me because of that so be it

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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

The real question is with yourself..... never rely on what others tell you.....peeps LIE.

All you can do is play as safe as possible and get regular checks, then you will always know you are clear and if not conntact those you have played with and make sure you have the all clear before you start to play again.

It's a hazard of the lifestye we have chosen to take part in !!!!

Enough said I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

plus i never see the point in asking

because as its been pointed out people do lie and even if they honest they could have easily picked something up since they was last tested and come back clear

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"plus i never see the point in asking

because as its been pointed out people do lie and even if they honest they could have easily picked something up since they was last tested and come back clear"

As someone once told me "you're only ever clear upto your last check up"

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By *slandcplCouple
over a year ago

canvey island

HIV is as far as I am aware undetectable for 6 weeks after contracting the virus. And, the unlucky person that may have contracted HIV is contagious throughout the most part if not all of these 6 weeks. The only way to be safe-ish is to use a condom, but even then wearing a condom is not a 100% sure way of preventing the transmission of an STI.

If I find out that a lady has played bare back I simply don’t play with the lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If I find out that a lady has played bare back I simply don’t play with the lady

"

That sounds all well and good, but as I've said, people lie and there is no way on God's green earth will you know for sure if someone has played bareback or not!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You can ask whatever questions you like.... it's what value you place on the answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite right. Check ups good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a guy on here a few times - always insisted on safe sex so no problem there. I saw on the friends update that he'd uploaded some new pics so being a nosey parker I had a look only to find to my complete horror that they were pics of him going bareback. I asked him about it and his reply was that he never goes bareback with anyone from Fab but the girl in his pics was someone from his local pub so that's different!!!!

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By *ohjane OP   Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

I rest my case !!

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly!! Needless to say I never saw him again and told him why to which he was mortally offended FFS x

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By *slandcplCouple
over a year ago

canvey island

I totally agree. The only way to be, to be safe is to give the benefit of the doubt to people unless or until I find out that they practice bare back or rarely if ever get checked. Then, for me, they become a no play zone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!"

.

I totally agree, asking someone when they were last tested is only useful if they give a negative response-you know then not to play with them.

Someone saying they're tested regularly is meaningless and potentially dangerous if you relax your sexual health regime because of it.

The best we can do is to either abstain or to take all the precautions we're comfortable with to protect ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a guy on here a few times - always insisted on safe sex so no problem there. I saw on the friends update that he'd uploaded some new pics so being a nosey parker I had a look only to find to my complete horror that they were pics of him going bareback. I asked him about it and his reply was that he never goes bareback with anyone from Fab but the girl in his pics was someone from his local pub so that's different!!!!"

lol and who was taking the pics?

all women from your local pub go home with you, have sex while someone takes pics of you then lets you upload them to a sex site dont they?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"I met a guy on here a few times - always insisted on safe sex so no problem there. I saw on the friends update that he'd uploaded some new pics so being a nosey parker I had a look only to find to my complete horror that they were pics of him going bareback. I asked him about it and his reply was that he never goes bareback with anyone from Fab but the girl in his pics was someone from his local pub so that's different!!!!

lol and who was taking the pics?

all women from your local pub go home with you, have sex while someone takes pics of you then lets you upload them to a sex site dont they?

"

Lol

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