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"Sounds more like she is having an affair and rubbing your nose in it! " | |||
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"Whatever you want to call it, it suits us all and nobody has any issues. Is that wrong?" No it's not wrong for you its your marriage no one else's but people will have different opinions and interpretations of the situation | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off" That's love | |||
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"Whatever you want to call it, it suits us all and nobody has any issues. Is that wrong?" nope whatever works for you Question: are you aloud a long term lover? | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off If it works for you that's fine This wouldn't bother me either I'm not a jealous person and I would be happy with such an arrangement so long as I was allowed the same " I have to agree what is good for the gander should be good for the goose in this situation | |||
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"Whatever you want to call it, it suits us all and nobody has any issues. Is that wrong?" It's only wrong if any of the parties involved aren't happy. It matters not what others think or say. Enjoy! | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off If it works for you that's fine This wouldn't bother me either I'm not a jealous person and I would be happy with such an arrangement so long as I was allowed the same " | |||
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"My husband is my long term lover.....other people are just people I meet for sex " | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" I have always wondered how many have had their marriages ruined by this life style. | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot I have always wondered how many have had their marriages ruined by this life style. " Only those that aren't strong to start with | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot I have always wondered how many have had their marriages ruined by this life style. " Swinging split me and my ex up he left me for a woman we met through swinging but I guess that just shows we didn't have a solid relationship or he wouldn't have gone, if somebody is going to leave you they will leave you whether you swing or not they may just find somebody sooner doing this | |||
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"If it works and everyone's happy it's a good thing surely. I'm not sure why people think it should be a reciprocal situation if the op actively enjoys his wife having a long term intimate relationship with another man and has no desire to do the same with another woman it's all good." Because they don't understand how this type of arrangement works. | |||
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"Is she being truthfull about her fellings for this other guy? Not my interpretation of swinging." There are many people on here that aren't swingers.... | |||
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"If it works and everyone's happy it's a good thing surely. I'm not sure why people think it should be a reciprocal situation if the op actively enjoys his wife having a long term intimate relationship with another man and has no desire to do the same with another woman it's all good. Because they don't understand how this type of arrangement works." I have never been in this situation so like you say have little understanding of the dynamics of it. I guess as long as al, parties are happy with the arrangement then that's all that matters | |||
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"If it works and everyone's happy it's a good thing surely. I'm not sure why people think it should be a reciprocal situation if the op actively enjoys his wife having a long term intimate relationship with another man and has no desire to do the same with another woman it's all good." I'd it's his choice then all good i just wonder if he did find the same if his wife would be ok with this | |||
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"If it works and everyone's happy it's a good thing surely. I'm not sure why people think it should be a reciprocal situation if the op actively enjoys his wife having a long term intimate relationship with another man and has no desire to do the same with another woman it's all good. I'd it's his choice then all good i just wonder if he did find the same if his wife would be ok with this " No idea. That's not something I'm prepared to speculate on. | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" . What do you get out of it ?? | |||
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"Whatever you want to call it, it suits us all and nobody has any issues. Is that wrong?" Of course it's not wrong for you .... but for others it would be - us included . | |||
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"I don't want to do the same, I get turned on by her enjoying herself. The guy is with someone who doesn't know as he says he would just have a string of affairs if he didn't do this so it's safer for him and enjoyable that it's just purely sex between him and Jane. Jane likes the fact that he isn't single and playing the field so. Everyone is a winner. " Oh not quite everyone. | |||
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"I don't want to do the same, I get turned on by her enjoying herself. The guy is with someone who doesn't know as he says he would just have a string of affairs if he didn't do this so it's safer for him and enjoyable that it's just purely sex between him and Jane. Jane likes the fact that he isn't single and playing the field so. Everyone is a winner. " except his girlfriend who doesn't know | |||
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"I don't want to do the same, I get turned on by her enjoying herself. The guy is with someone who doesn't know as he says he would just have a string of affairs if he didn't do this so it's safer for him and enjoyable that it's just purely sex between him and Jane. Jane likes the fact that he isn't single and playing the field so. Everyone is a winner. " In that case I'm happy for you | |||
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"Yes except his girlfriend, but he would just do it with others and probably multiple others." At this point I will leave the thread and wish all involved well. | |||
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"Yes except his girlfriend, but he would just do it with others and probably multiple others." He's probably doing it with multiple anyway | |||
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"Yes except his girlfriend, but he would just do it with others and probably multiple others." err ok so that makes it ok then | |||
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"It's good to get other opinions. But what is right and what is wrong ? Having 100's of one night stands or someone regular It suits all 3 of us. She gets excited, I get turned on by it all and can't wait for her to get home. Who else does this? " but there is 4 of you involved but only 1 of you doesn't know anything about it which is wrong (in my opinion) but hey you can justify it as much as you want by saying he would just cheat multiple times if he didn't have you're wife as a lover each to there own i'm off to earn a living | |||
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"It's good to get other opinions. But what is right and what is wrong ? Having 100's of one night stands or someone regular It suits all 3 of us. She gets excited, I get turned on by it all and can't wait for her to get home. Who else does this? but there is 4 of you involved but only 1 of you doesn't know anything about it which is wrong (in my opinion) but hey you can justify it as much as you want by saying he would just cheat multiple times if he didn't have you're wife as a lover each to there own i'm off to earn a living " He's probably meets other women as well anyway I find it hard to believe a guy who's cheating would turn down an offer of sex from another women If he's lying to his wife he's most likely lying to his lover as well | |||
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"I have to appluad your attitude...I understand the need...of all involved including his girlfriend/wife he is still with her providing what is needed...who know the deep felt thoughts thT may be behind the reasons for him not leaving her " how can you understand the need of a woman you have never met? | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" Have you met this guy ? Played as a 3 ? . . Just curious . Her x | |||
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"Ok lots of people go to swingers clubs. Lots of men that go there are attached/married Do they get vetted ? " I steer clear of attached men I may of played with one or two in a club situation unknowingly but I choose not to meet attached men. They are on here or going to clubs for their own reasons and I will not judge thrm for that but I often see some who slate their partner who is not on here I find that so disrespectful. I don't care why they are on here but leave innocent parties out of it.. | |||
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"Ok lots of people go to swingers clubs. Lots of men that go there are attached/married Do they get vetted ? " Just check their finger for white bands where their ring was | |||
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"And op could you do the same thing if you found the right woman.......? Or is it all her way and you fit in. " He's already said he does not want this with another women x | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" If the dynamic works for you then brilliant, more power to the both if you. It's not something I could do though. | |||
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"I don't want to do the same I get my satisfaction fromjane doing it" we'll she is a lucky woman I say . | |||
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"I look at it I'm a lucky man to have such a woman x" Isn't this closer to being a polyamorous relationship than a swinging-type relationship? Do you have anything to do with the third party does your wife see him exclusively alone? | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot I have always wondered how many have had their marriages ruined by this life style. " I'm willing to bet a lot lower percentage than those bored and curious in their "normal" marriages.... In the profession I'm in, it's a running joke that you will be married at least 3 times... I remember going to a Phillipino wedding about 8 years back... My friends girlfriend turned to him and said "can you understand what the [minister] is saying?" He said... "I've done it that many times, I know it off by heart!" I would say in "normal" marriages there is just a large percentage turning a blind eye. | |||
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"We started with 3 sums with him. It was just a good feeling of trust with him so hence it lead to them meeting alone Him and I both txt and occasionally talk on the phone" So it's almost a poly-relationship by the sounds of it. Good for you if it works - I've seen an awful lot of poly-pods fall apart as it's a very tricky thing to balance out. Good luck | |||
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"We started with 3 sums with him. It was just a good feeling of trust with him so hence it lead to them meeting alone Him and I both txt and occasionally talk on the phone So it's almost a poly-relationship by the sounds of it. Good for you if it works - I've seen an awful lot of poly-pods fall apart as it's a very tricky thing to balance out. Good luck " this | |||
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"Personaly, I don't care what three out of four people in this situation think, justifying, dismissing, ignoring the other woman is just downright shitty and she deserves better than being strung along. " | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" Exactly what we want. Though he would also meet us as a couple . Hopefully found it !!! Pandora x | |||
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"Personaly, I don't care what three out of four people in this situation think, justifying, dismissing, ignoring the other woman is just downright shitty and she deserves better than being strung along. " I don't know what she deserves but I agree with everything else you say. | |||
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"It's good to get other opinions. But what is right and what is wrong ? Having 100's of one night stands or someone regular It suits all 3 of us. She gets excited, I get turned on by it all and can't wait for her to get home. Who else does this? " My partners have their own long term partners, it suits us just fine. But we wouldn't see someone who was having an affair. That wouldn't be fine. | |||
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"Whatever you want to call it, it suits us all and nobody has any issues. Is that wrong?" Presumably it suits all 3 of you so in my opinion there's nothing wrong. I'm single now but looking back to my marriage .. personally I would not have liked to have been in your set up. but hey 'horses for courses' eh! | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off" Do you have someone also..? to answer the question.. no it would kill me to share (if I were in a loving relationship) I could not accept that. | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off If it works for you that's fine This wouldn't bother me either I'm not a jealous person and I would be happy with such an arrangement so long as I was allowed the same " | |||
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"At the end of the day everyone just wants additional excitement Jane loves it and I love it. If she's going to run off then she will do it anyway. But there is no need she's getting the best of both worlds " That makes it sounds like you only doing to keep her with you? | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly!" There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... | |||
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"At the end of the day everyone just wants additional excitement Jane loves it and I love it. If she's going to run off then she will do it anyway. But there is no need she's getting the best of both worlds That makes it sounds like you only doing to keep her with you?" yes some will do things so there wife's don't run off. | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge..." We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment? | |||
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"What do I get out of....it's wow! I suppose it's a cuckold relationship (mild form not humiliation) I can't wait for the next day when she gets home " Many in cuckold relationships have similar, more than the porn version of cuckolding where the humiliation is all extreme stuff | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment?" I think if you were both in a REAL Flonting-naryside relationship, then the ins and outs would be more obvious. | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment?" Not a judgement...but you have to assume a few things to get there...so assumptions right or wrong...we will never know which... | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment? Not a judgement...but you have to assume a few things to get there...so assumptions right or wrong...we will never know which..." You made a huge assumption if that's what you want to call it when you said he is still with his partner providing what is needed. I agree none of us will ever know. | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment? I think if you were both in a REAL Flonting-naryside relationship, then the ins and outs would be more obvious. " Steve I have no idea what one of those is | |||
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"and yes I know I said I was leaving the thread but honestly! There seem to be a lot on here making assumptions about how this works for all...I put my self in her place, with what she knows, just for a moment...everyone is entitled to their view and opinion... If it works of them who are we to judge... We can't but. I'm not sure how you can put yourself in the place of a woman who isn't represented here, isn't that making a judgment? I think if you were both in a REAL Flonting-naryside relationship, then the ins and outs would be more obvious. Steve I have no idea what one of those is " But now it's been explained to me I tend to agree with you. | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" No wouldn't like that x but if it works for you then happy days x | |||
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"It sounds like a thoroughly horrendous situation to me, and incredibly selfish on her part, but hey good luck to you. " I think it's what the op and his wife want and enjoy which I have absolutely no problem with, live and let live etc. When I begin to have a problem is when a third party is unwittingly involved and its dressed up as doing her a favour. | |||
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"It's not swinging, it's a polyamorous relationship where the OP is one side of the V (technical term) it sounds like an arrangement that suits all three people perfectly" | |||
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"Yes have met the guy it started as 3 sums until the trust was build up between us all Him and I still swap texts and talk " You are a cuck and that's your enjoyment. As long as everyone enjoys it then all is good, well apart from his gf but I don't judge. J | |||
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"It sounds like a thoroughly horrendous situation to me, and incredibly selfish on her part, but hey good luck to you. I think it's what the op and his wife want and enjoy which I have absolutely no problem with, live and let live etc. When I begin to have a problem is when a third party is unwittingly involved and its dressed up as doing her a favour. " Still selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. | |||
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"It sounds like a thoroughly horrendous situation to me, and incredibly selfish on her part, but hey good luck to you. I think it's what the op and his wife want and enjoy which I have absolutely no problem with, live and let live etc. When I begin to have a problem is when a third party is unwittingly involved and its dressed up as doing her a favour. Still selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. " One word. Bollocks. | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" So what are you looking for on here?? | |||
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" One word. Bollocks. " Oh thanks I've got a few for you. Rude, dismissive, ignorant, unwarranted, unsupported, myopic. | |||
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"What do you prefer the wife to have a long term lover or multiple one offs Jane has been seeing someone for 5 years now they go to somewhere neutral and act like a couple kissing holding hands in public the back to a hotel where she stays the night. They are really close and txt each other a lot" Lovely xxx | |||
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" One word. Bollocks. Oh thanks I've got a few for you. Rude, dismissive, ignorant, unwarranted, unsupported, myopic. " You clearly have no understanding of the dynamics of such a relationship and call the wife selfish and assume there is a problem with the marriage yet i am the ignorant one making unwarranted and unsupported comments? | |||
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"It sounds like a thoroughly horrendous situation to me, and incredibly selfish on her part, but hey good luck to you. I think it's what the op and his wife want and enjoy which I have absolutely no problem with, live and let live etc. When I begin to have a problem is when a third party is unwittingly involved and its dressed up as doing her a favour. Still selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. " You have a girlfriend???? | |||
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"My husband is my long term lover.....other people are just people I meet for sex " That's how it should be In my opinion. | |||
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" One word. Bollocks. Oh thanks I've got a few for you. Rude, dismissive, ignorant, unwarranted, unsupported, myopic. You clearly have no understanding of the dynamics of such a relationship and call the wife selfish and assume there is a problem with the marriage yet i am the ignorant one making unwarranted and unsupported comments? " Actually I was just referring to your comment, rather than your general beliefs or views.. If you want to engage in a dialogue about the reasons behind my personal opinion, then i am always open to such. | |||
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" You have a girlfriend????" Yes, no, maybe, i don't know. Any of those answers good to you? | |||
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"IStill selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. " Some people are capable of having relationships with more than one person at a time. Some people aren't. Please don't just and say 'that's not something you do to someone you love', because for many people that is something that they do, and they do love (or care for) everyone involved. I don't care less for one person just because another person has entered my life. Could you imagine doing that with your friends? Or your children? 'Sorry, I've already given out this year's quota of love, there's none left for you'. The more you love, the more love you have to give. It's bottomless. | |||
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"Not at all. I enjoy it as well. Watching her get ready to meet him and looking forward to her getting back home the next day. I know she's safe and taken care off If it works for you that's fine This wouldn't bother me either I'm not a jealous person and I would be happy with such an arrangement so long as I was allowed the same " | |||
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"IStill selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. Some people are capable of having relationships with more than one person at a time. Some people aren't. Please don't just and say 'that's not something you do to someone you love', because for many people that is something that they do, and they do love (or care for) everyone involved. I don't care less for one person just because another person has entered my life. Could you imagine doing that with your friends? Or your children? 'Sorry, I've already given out this year's quota of love, there's none left for you'. The more you love, the more love you have to give. It's bottomless." It's more the aspect that he isn't allowed to love others and doesn't want to, there is surely some emotional hurt there which needs healing. Not encouraging or maybe even exploiting..? | |||
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"IStill selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. Some people are capable of having relationships with more than one person at a time. Some people aren't. Please don't just and say 'that's not something you do to someone you love', because for many people that is something that they do, and they do love (or care for) everyone involved. I don't care less for one person just because another person has entered my life. Could you imagine doing that with your friends? Or your children? 'Sorry, I've already given out this year's quota of love, there's none left for you'. The more you love, the more love you have to give. It's bottomless. It's more the aspect that he isn't allowed to love others and doesn't want to, there is surely some emotional hurt there which needs healing. Not encouraging or maybe even exploiting..? " You really don't understand. Please stop now! | |||
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"It sounds like a thoroughly horrendous situation to me, and incredibly selfish on her part, but hey good luck to you. I think it's what the op and his wife want and enjoy which I have absolutely no problem with, live and let live etc. When I begin to have a problem is when a third party is unwittingly involved and its dressed up as doing her a favour. Still selfish on her part. If my girlfriend asked me to go out and fuck and text and basically have another relationship with someone else while she had no part. I would not do it, that is not something you do to someone that you love. Rather than solve the root of the issue, she has decided to capitalise on it. " That's an incrediblly arrogant attitude you have there Its not how I would do it so its wrong | |||
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"Ha ha there is no emotional hurt on my behalf. I don't want to do it I enjoy my wife and get turned on by the fact she is with someone enjoying sex and sharing. It's the next day we have our fun when she shares the experience I love and adore her and want her to do this....it's wow !! " You seem to both enjoy the situation openly from different aspects so it's not for anyone to say it is wrong as such. I just would feel rather sorry for the girlfriend though that is not aware or equally consenting of it so personally I would not be able to willingly do that to another woman in that scenario, but that's for you both to judge really. | |||
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" It's more the aspect that he isn't allowed to love others and doesn't want to, there is surely some emotional hurt there which needs healing. Not encouraging or maybe even exploiting..? " You said it yourself *doesn't want to*. If he doesn't want to get involved with someone else in the long term, why should he? He enjoys seeing his partner's happiness. There's even a word for it - compersion. Compersion is when you see someone you care about happy. That happiness can come through many forms, but it's what polyamory is built on. | |||
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"What do I get out of....it's wow! I suppose it's a cuckold relationship (mild form not humiliation) I can't wait for the next day when she gets home " you either get this or don't we do. Not gone as far as you guys but understand the dynamics | |||
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