FabSwingers.com forum: Defining labels of bi, straight and bi curious

By *inklink OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Hi peeps,

I was wondering if I could get a few opinions from those with more experience than myself.

I have always thought of my self as straight as I'm not attracted to guys. The thought of kissing a guy (at the risk of sounding homophobic) turns my stomach. However me being the openminded easy going guy that I am lol. I'm quite fine with various sexual acts involving mm action (go figure).

Also "bi curious" I thought always meant. someone who has no same sex experience, but is perhaps turned on by the thought of it and therefore "curious" about it. Which doesn't apply to myself as I have experience of mm interaction.

So I guess what I'm wondering, (seen as though so many on here are so hung up on labels) is what the hell would that make someone like me?

Personally I'd say I was a straight guy who is just way kinkyer or more perverted than your average guy. An there for willing in the right circumstances/ company to do things that normal "straight" guys wouldn't do.

Or would anyone disagree and say I'm simply bi? With "bisexual" relating more to sex than intimacy etc?

I only ask as I don't want to be perceived as dishonest by what I put on my profile. I've been on here as part of a couple before. So I realise there are guys who seem to switch between bi and straight, depending who they are trying to connect with at any given time. An I'm not playing that game. So if I do fall under a particular label I will attach said label to my profile and wear it with honour lmao!

Any opinions appreciated

Regards, Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever this question is raised: and it is, every other day, you get a myriad of responses.

It gets heated and complicated. Me? I'm a simple gal from the "keep it simple" school of thought.

I'm straight! There's NO ambiguity about that. I don't want to kiss, touch, smell, play with another woman. I have NO desire to be naked with another woman in any situation. I'm not remotely interested to even know what it would be like.

By my definition if I thought about it and didn't find the idea abhorant I'd be bi-curious. If I'd experienced same sex play and my curiosity had been satisfied and I would again then I'd be bi!

Stand by for the cries of derision saying my definition is too simplistic, it depends on emotions blah blah: that's someone elses opinion, this is mine.

As I've said on the other zillion threads like this, this site is fantasy for most, an opportunity to be hedonistic and indulge in what our hearts desire. We'll NEVER appeal to all, so why sweat it?!! Only you know what you want from the site. If you want to experience more same sex fun with a MF couple there are loads here: why deny yourself that?!!

In my opinion you're like a lot of men on here: in denial.

Whatever you decide, good luck and have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do believe the same as Sassy, that curious about the same sex is bi-curious and having played with, and emjoy being with women, i consider myself to be bisexual

In that role though, id see a difference from comments made on here that some guys are quite happy to have full sex with a guy, others prefer just to give a blowjob and arent interested in full sex. You just need to decide how far you want to go but either way, maybe state your preference on your profile so that guys know what you will and wont do

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Str8 .... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the OPPOSITE of them.

Bisexual... has sexual contact with BOTH SEXES.

Gay/Lesbian... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the SAME as them.

sexual contact defined as giving and receiving any type of sexual pleasure.

as for the inbetweeners... try it once and don't like it.. stay in your original sexual preference category and be proud and happy..

try it once and go back for seconds move to new sexual preference category and be proud and happy...

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"Str8 .... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the OPPOSITE of them.

Bisexual... has sexual contact with BOTH SEXES.

Gay/Lesbian... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the SAME as them.

sexual contact defined as giving and receiving any type of sexual pleasure.

as for the inbetweeners... try it once and don't like it.. stay in your original sexual preference category and be proud and happy..

try it once and go back for seconds move to new sexual preference category and be proud and happy...

Works for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Str8 .... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the OPPOSITE of them.

Bisexual... has sexual contact with BOTH SEXES.

Gay/Lesbian... has sexual contact with ONE SEX ... the SAME as them.

sexual contact defined as giving and receiving any type of sexual pleasure.

as for the inbetweeners... try it once and don't like it.. stay in your original sexual preference category and be proud and happy..

try it once and go back for seconds move to new sexual preference category and be proud and happy...

...and there you have it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think perhaps (in the nicest possible way) that your the one "hung up on labels"

If your happy as you are but don't want to use a label that might give the wrong impression, opt for STRAIGHT then define your fantasies/likes/dislikes more apparently in your profile text

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Set your status on your profile as ‘bi-curious’ and add some text to your profile to qualify it, that is you’ve had some, you want more, how much more.

Or….

Set your status on your profile as ‘bisexual’ and add some text to your profile to qualify it, that is what you like to do with a guy. This will tend to attract people looking for bisexual activities.

Or…

Set your status on your profile as ‘straight’ and add some text to your profile to qualify it, that is you like a bit of dick now and then. This will tend to attract people not seeking bisexual activities.

So do you want some more dick or don’t you?

Bi-curious means haven’t tried it yet but would like to.

Bisexual means what is means but in a swinging context it tends to mean ‘I like a bit of same sex sex’ typically followed by limitations.

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By *inklink OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Thanks for that people, some very good points made. As I said I've no problem at all what I lable myself or what others choose to lable me. I just don't want to give off the impression that I'm dishonest. I've contacted bi couples before and when they ask why I'm contacting them being straight an all. I explain that I'm not bi (by my deffinition) but I am ok with some mm contact. An the response to this is usualy nagative as they have explained that it's apparently quite common for men to play both sides to get past peoples rules regarding not meeting bi or not meeting unless you are bi etc.

Based on what's been said I'm getting the impression that most of you agree that any sexual contact makes someone bi. In which case I guess that would make me so.

At the risk of sounding homophobic/arrogant or conning across as a bigot. The only reason I make the distinction is that I have a friend whom is bi. He's a student friend of mine, who has had full on relationships with both sexes. But he is quite camp and treats fashion like a religion, wears man make up and fake tan etc. Where as I'm the total opposite. I'm a developer, basicaly a glorified builder lol. So I'm usualy quite rough/ masculine an so on. So for me to put my self in the same catagory as my friend has always seemed wrong to me. But now I see that it was possibly my issue with that I guess as opposed to anything else.

Anyway thanks for clearing that up, an I'm sorry if this is a common topic. I did look on the first 2 pages of the top 3 rooms to look for a topic like this. I must not have looked hard enough lol.

Again my thanks and well wishes,

Regards, Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i honestly think they need to add the term hetro-flexible in to the mix on fab because it would make it alot easier as i do agree bi-curious in my mind meens you havnt tryed it and want to

when people ask me about my sexuality i tend to say bi or hetro-flexible to those who understand it. but for the sake of fab i write hetro-flexible on my profile, it means i only get into relationships with the opposite sex but occasionally can play with the same in the right circumstances

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

To the OP…

Your last post seems to suggest that you are linking personality type, macho, effeminate, camp etc. with sexuality?

Non of these traits need have any implications as to a persons sexuality. There are plenty of Transvestites who are 100% heterosexual, an effeminate male doesn’t have to be gay, he’s just at the opposite end to Macho.

Your bisexual friend is a bisexual with an outward personality or character, he just ‘happens’ to be bisexual as well. I too know a genuine bisexual male and there is NOTHING un-manly in respect of his character. We also have a long-term male playmate who we would sometimes describe as a bisexual gay, meaning that his enthusiasm for male-on-male sex seems greater than the drive for heterosexual activities.

On another website we use it has the term ‘bi-playful’ which reads to me as more ‘knowing/experience’ whereas ‘hetero-flexible’ could been seen as ‘open to experiment’. Although getting down to the nitty gritty definitions/implications is possibly pointless as some folks see what they want to see regardless of what you say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the OP…

Your last post seems to suggest that you are linking personality type, macho, effeminate, camp etc. with sexuality?

10/10 on that post

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By *inklink OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Cheers guys,

I'm a little more confused now than when I started lmao. But I think hetro-flexible sits better with me lol.

Your totally right though mate I think I did have an issue with character and peoples perception thereof. But now I'm not to bothered. As I mentioned I pride myself on being honest so don't want to give misleading impressions on my profile is all.

I have had mm contact and enjoyed some, and some not so much lol. But like many have said, I guess it all comes down to explaining in detail on the profile.

So again many thanks to all whom have contributed their opinions

Regards, Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i honestly think they need to add the term hetro-flexible in to the mix on fab because it would make it alot easier as i do agree bi-curious in my mind meens you havnt tryed it and want to "

or... you have tried it and are still not sure?

Surely one experience or even a few, can be seen as experimental?

Haven't tried it myself, and don't want to, but I have dreamed about doing it

I told Kate, and she just laughed and said I'd love to see that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i honestly think they need to add the term hetro-flexible in to the mix on fab because it would make it alot easier as i do agree bi-curious in my mind meens you havnt tryed it and want to

or... you have tried it and are still not sure?

Surely one experience or even a few, can be seen as experimental?

Haven't tried it myself, and don't want to, but I have dreamed about doing it

I told Kate, and she just laughed and said I'd love to see that

maybe the one and still not be sure but still then i am not convinced... as i have been through all this but i will take into consideration alot of the time when a guy is first trying out things he doesnt actually accept it himself etc I will hold my hands up and honestly say i was in that catagory. it was one of them things wher i was saying i am straight it was only abit of fun but then after a couple times your realise hold on no i am not compleetly straight am i... however i new full well i wouldnt go into a relationship with a guy

so more so i think it could be about acceptance of yourself

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"i honestly think they need to add the term hetro-flexible in to the mix on fab because it would make it alot easier as i do agree bi-curious in my mind meens you havnt tryed it and want to

or... you have tried it and are still not sure?

Surely one experience or even a few, can be seen as experimental?

Haven't tried it myself, and don't want to, but I have dreamed about doing it

I told Kate, and she just laughed and said I'd love to see that

so more so i think it could be about acceptance of yourself"

My turn to award you 10 out of 10

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the O.P.....you say you don't consider yourself bi.

What do you yourself think a straight guy, who has no desire for MM sexual activity, would consider you to be?

As such a guy I'd consider any guy who had sexual inclinations towards other guys as bi if they had put them into practice,curious if they were thinking about doing it.

Honesty about your sexuality is always the best policy,to yourself and those you intend to play with.

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By *inklink OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I understand that totaly. I just always saw someone as bi, willing to entertain relationships with either sex. But of course your right, what would a totaly straight guy call someone like me.....Bi of course! Doh lol. If your gonna do "stuff" with the same sex then how can one be straight. So yeah I guess I'm just plain old bi

Regards, Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand that totaly. I just always saw someone as bi, willing to entertain relationships with either sex. But of course your right, what would a totaly straight guy call someone like me.....Bi of course! Doh lol. If your gonna do "stuff" with the same sex then how can one be straight. So yeah I guess I'm just plain old bi

Regards, Dave"

Well there you go....you can see things a whole lot clearer when the fog lifts and the sun shines through!

Bet you'll sleep a lot easier now!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Regards, Dave"

enjoy and be happy..

and no need to run off and get a job in the theatre.. yu will be fine.

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By *inklink OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Lmao love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i honestly think they need to add the term hetro-flexible in to the mix on fab because it would make it alot easier as i do agree bi-curious in my mind meens you havnt tryed it and want to

or... you have tried it and are still not sure?

Surely one experience or even a few, can be seen as experimental?

Haven't tried it myself, and don't want to, but I have dreamed about doing it

I told Kate, and she just laughed and said I'd love to see that

so more so i think it could be about acceptance of yourself"

Now you've "accepted" yourself will you change your profile from straight to bi?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I'm a graphic designer if anyone wants any of these labels designing, give me a shout.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a graphic designer if anyone wants any of these labels designing, give me a shout."

me too

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"I'm a graphic designer if anyone wants any of these labels designing, give me a shout.

me too

I'm and engineer, let me know if your nuts come loose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a graphic designer if anyone wants any of these labels designing, give me a shout.

me too

I'm and engineer, let me know if your nuts come loose

I've got an O level in metalwork and animal science, so if ya dog needs welding, I'm ya man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now you've "accepted" yourself will you change your profile from straight to bi?

lol i dont think you got it

i know wher i stand and that is in the hetro-flexible catagory. If someone ask's me simply are you bi i would say yes but i would then explain that i am het

exible which i wouldnt have a relationship with someone of the same sex, just have a little fun with them if its in the right situation (as its not a common thing)

if het

exible was on fabswingers i would state my profile as hetro-flexible but block single men as that is another reason i dont put bi... i just cant be arsed with men messaging me as often as they do because if i see a guy that me and a lady friend want to invite for a threesome we can message the ones we like (as thats what we do now from time to time)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

woops when writting hetro-flexible if i forget to put in the - it does that smiley face, just try to ignore that sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s all this relationship stuff? This is a NSA swinging site.

Hetro-flexible is just another label that equates to bisexual, I’d imagine that was sassy’s point, why over complicate things when there’s a label there that suits, after all you yourself have said if anyone asks, you tell them you’re bisexual.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

That’s why we both have bisexual on our profile, what anyone thinks of us doesn’t matter, meaning if some one reads our profile spots ‘bisexual’ and thinks ‘feckin queer bastards’ that’s perfectly fine with us because we certainly do not wish to meet such people. If 100% heterosexuals look at our profile and think, ‘don’t want to meet them because they are bisexual’ that’s fine too, chances are they are not our type either.

As for people who are either seeking bisexuals or straight but perfectly comfortable with bisexuals then that is also fine.

So there is nothing complicated about it until someone ‘asks’, that’s when the fun starts. A couple of our ‘truly’ bisexual male playmates might look at another male and give it the ‘core he looks fit, I’d like to shag him’. As for me, I’ve never looked at another guy like that and the same applies to my misses in respect of other females. Now I don’t think there is anything complicated about that either until someone asks us to explain in more detail or other people start trying to enforce their own concepts of sexuality and its labels on us.

Technically if a male has had some sexual activity with another male then he has indeed had a homosexual experience, and I think that is where the alarm bells start ringing for guys who are otherwise predominantly heterosexual at the core.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

What’s all this relationship stuff? This is a NSA swinging site.

And that is a bloody good point… its not about ‘relationships’ in terms of a live-in life long partner, we’re talking ‘friends’ who happen to share a mutual interests in sex and perhaps sexploration. That’s probably the only label any of this needs, sexually adventurous and for some of us it includes either sex.

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