FabSwingers.com forum: VANILLA explained

By *uton_couple OP Couple
over a year ago

luton

this is only my point of view ( im not the font of all knowledge ! )

there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about what vanilla is or is not

the word was first adopted by the bdsm lifestyle somewhere back in the mist of time to refer to the sex lives of people outside of there lifestyle , in other words if you were not into bdsm you were vanilla ( a nilla )

it was never meant to refer to any sexuall act that you might or might not indulge in

later on it was adopted by the swinging lifestyle ( and others ) but in there case it WAS in reference to sexuall acts , ie plain sex was vanilla , and kinky sex or swopping etc was not

so although it may seem to some bdsm and swinging have a number of things in common , the word vanilla has a different meaning to the two lifestyles

just like a rapper says "that was a wicked tune" ............ the word "wicked" means something else when he is talking about the person that poisoned his dog !

trying not to bore you to death i will give a few scenarios

( bdsm veiwpoint )

if we had a plumber round who was on all fours fixing a pipe under the sink , i might tell my wife to go in the room , grab his crutch and say "nice balls"

that might seem pretty tame to a swinger , but for those involved in bdsm it is not the act alone that has taken place , there are many other thought procceses going on / sub dom / obedience / humilliation etc etc , and ( to them ) that is what makes it interesting and NOT vanilla

people in the bdsm lifestyle might go to a club and watch another couple where the man walks his wife to the centre of the room where he helps her down on all fours

to then be doggy fucked by ten men , whilst another ten bukkake her from the front

to the people involved in bdsm that is a vanilla act !

( swinger veiwpoint )

im sure to a swinger the club scenario above would be seen very kinky and colourfull , and in no way an event that could be called vanilla ( and they would be correct )

they would use the word perhaps in reference to others that dont swing or swop , or perhaps a person that is happy with a nipple twiddle , bonk , roll of , sleep

both lifestyles are correct in the way that they use the word but confussion reigns when the two lifestyles try to use the word in conjunction , because it just doesnt work

i guess its like the french wine you bring back from your holls , it just doesnt travel

anyway im missing harry hill typing this shoyt

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think that you are right that the word does not mix between the two worlds.

We as a couple are active in both worlds.... To be fair in BDSM, it does not realate sexually. It is just how we describe people outside the world. However, not really heard it used much of late to be fair.

If I say to my BDSM friends that I have had 6 guys over for a facial, they would find that a bit dull.

I think as long as you remember which world your currently chatting in that it works and people understand you.

Katie. x