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saying no politely

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fairly new to this and only three weeks in so I guess that makes us hardened swingers already!

Wondered if this is an issue faced by others? We had a bit if a crisis yesterday realising we'd over committed and ended up arranging so many meets that we'd actually forgotten who were meeting and why! Basically, work and real life got in the way so we'd booked people for when we were free! All of a sudden we'd become a conveyor belt, trying to remember something about the guy we'd arranged to meet! I'm sure they were lovely of course! We cancelled on two yesterday and feel shitty about that, but we're not a swingers charity If you're one of those guys we're very sorry!

We've also found that often though chatting we've built rapport with people but also realise that whist we can chat to them, we don't actually want to shag them! The expectation from the guy is clearly that we must be game coz we're chatting to them? Do others get this,and how do they let ppl down gently?

BTW, We LOVE doing this, and can't believe we didn't find it sooner - all those wasted years haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done the same and over booked myself (even put statuses up asking who am i meeting today lol), i'm really badly organised and poor at planning things so i decided to keep it spontaneous and do not plan meets, unless it's someone special (which is hardly anyone on here so that works for me).

I don't usually let people down gently, i just ignore their messages and never chat to anyone without pics so that i'm only chatting to guys i do want to fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thays y u need a diary so u dont 4get lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have that problem. Men get very few offers so it's very easy to keep track.

1 this year 1 next year lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Fairly new to this and only three weeks in so I guess that makes us hardened swingers already!

Wondered if this is an issue faced by others? We had a bit if a crisis yesterday realising we'd over committed and ended up arranging so many meets that we'd actually forgotten who were meeting and why! Basically, work and real life got in the way so we'd booked people for when we were free! All of a sudden we'd become a conveyor belt, trying to remember something about the guy we'd arranged to meet! I'm sure they were lovely of course! We cancelled on two yesterday and feel shitty about that, but we're not a swingers charity If you're one of those guys we're very sorry!

We've also found that often though chatting we've built rapport with people but also realise that whist we can chat to them, we don't actually want to shag them! The expectation from the guy is clearly that we must be game coz we're chatting to them? Do others get this,and how do they let ppl down gently?

BTW, We LOVE doing this, and can't believe we didn't find it sooner - all those wasted years haha! "

as Shag says get a diary and make it clear in your first message to people or in your profile that chatting doesn't guarantee sex.

Saying no is never easy but a polite short message along the lines of "we've enjoyed chatting but don't want to take things any further" should be ok, if you get a response along the lines of "why not, what's wrong with me?" don't respond you'll get embroiled in another lengthy conversation and don't respond to abuse when you say no either.

Good luck and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a notes thingy next to all profiles.I find if I use that it avoids confusion.

By the way glad to here of fellow Northamtoners who have joined the lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is a notes thingy next to all profiles.I find if I use that it avoids confusion.

By the way glad to here of fellow Northamtoners who have joined the lifestyle"

There seem to be about 1000 just in our town - who knew!!

We need to be better at using the notes x

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I think you need to take responsibility of your own actions, instead of blaming anyone else, you have over committed and then let people down because your using this site like a new toy.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"Thays y u need a diary so u dont 4get lol "

A recommendation we made to the site. A good function we felt without the need to physically get your black book out, a few clicks and presto!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you need to take responsibility of your own actions, instead of blaming anyone else, you have over committed and then let people down because your using this site like a new toy.

"

That's told us then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thays y u need a diary so u dont 4get lol

A recommendation we made to the site. A good function we felt without the need to physically get your black book out, a few clicks and presto! "
Yes good idea as the diary could be pinned on the left side on ur profile and remind you when a date comes up

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

Become a site supporter and you can then keep notes on profiles and re read messageS

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