FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Witty Retorts

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Those things that you always want to say, but just about manage to keep under wraps?

Just had a message along the lines of: 'hope u like hung men'

Wanted to reply: 'prefer them still alive'.

What are your favourites that you always want to reply?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A knight in shining armour is often a aluminium wanker in tin foil.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only ever think of things after the moment has passed (3 days later, for example).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do ya want my dick in all your holes?

"Yes please it's a draughty old house".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fit.

...no, i have a zit you tit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I had one the other day. Message was from a guy in Southampton asking if I wanted to ride his huge cock. I did reply that it had better be 280 miles long to reach to York, but he didn't get it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I often get 'in hotel ..... now'

I always respond with 'good for you'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit.

...no, i have a zit you tit.

"

A zit on ya tit?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On receipt of the inevitable cock photo I sometimes reply "Wow another talking penis"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit.

...no, i have a zit you tit.

A zit on ya tit?"

Maybe just a little bit. Do you think it will be a hit? Or is it a bit shit?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we got the same message as you twice from the same man. Guess he is just pasting the same message and hopes for a response.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onConformistLikeUMan
over a year ago

Chorley

..Yes but not by you, I'm not fond of getting stubble rash on my balls and I'm not a big fan of george michael.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On receipt of yet another cock pic with a one line message.

Thanks,I am familiar with what one looks like but i appreciate your concern that i might still be wondering.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit.

...no, i have a zit you tit.

A zit on ya tit?

Maybe just a little bit. Do you think it will be a hit? Or is it a bit shit?

"

I'll be having none of it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit.

...no, i have a zit you tit.

A zit on ya tit?

Maybe just a little bit. Do you think it will be a hit? Or is it a bit shit?

I'll be having none of it! "

That's now me in the pit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

Any request or suggestion of a fuck, I usually tell them I am not in the mood but will send my bf right over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had one the other day. Message was from a guy in Southampton asking if I wanted to ride his huge cock. I did reply that it had better be 280 miles long to reach to York, but he didn't get it. "

of course he didn't get it , his cock wasn't long enough

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ntuneMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

So its a battle of wits...a pity you came unarmed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every few weeks we get the same message off the same guy sometimes with a new profile the message always does your mrs like big cocks to which we always reply yes its the twats that opperate them we sonetimes struggle with he never replies and vanishes again for another few weeks lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a lot of messages from people saying nice tattoos or they love my tattoos,they make me think people wanna meet me to skin me alive... i just wanna reply with 'well you're not having them, get your own'.

Or the guys who ask me if they can ask me anything, i don't reply to them so they know they can't ask me anything, not even their original question.

Or 'you get my message?' i wanna say no what message and then if they reply i'll ask them why they talking to me and make out i never receive ANY of their messages at all, not even the ones i'm replying to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on1Man
over a year ago

spain

Its all wrong

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Many times over the years:

"I've never had a black man"

"We've something in common then"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the standard "Does juicy want my 9 inch cock?" we always reply with "no thanks, she's got a 5ft8 one right here"

Also any men who message addressing only juicy "hi babes" or "you're fit" etc etc always get a reply from jay saying "I'm flattered mate, honestly. But I'm straight and so are you supposedly"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onkersMan
over a year ago

livingston

your fat /i know every time i fucked your mother she gave me a kitkat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/04/15 09:11:46]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy asked me if I liked young stud.

I replied "Yes, do you know any?"

I haven't heard back from him yet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I refuse to enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oright m8. How's things with you? Wat u in2?

I like teaching people to read and write. Would you like a lesson?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to meet you but I don't do poo pee or pain"

I replied "what a shame as I wanted to take a dump on your chest while I punch you in the face"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Fancy a fuck?'

'Yes, but not with you.'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

My personal favourite is when speaking if someone feels the need to interrupt you

"Oh I'm sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"

You can follow with "how rude of me"

People tend not to take offence and laugh it off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Those things that you always want to say, but just about manage to keep under wraps?

Just had a message along the lines of: 'hope u like hung men'

Wanted to reply: 'prefer them still alive'.

What are your favourites that you always want to reply?"

If you want my comeback you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth.

A

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only ever think of things after the moment has passed (3 days later, for example). "

Likewise. Always after the moment has passed. And they're always such good retorts too! Ah well ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We quite often get just "hey" - that's it,one word!

My reply is always "is what horses eat"

Her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked if I was playing hard to get, I replied I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing leave me the fuck alone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I am always tempted with sarcasm when I receive 'how r u finding the site?' or 'can I ask you a question?' type questions but have so far refrained.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fave is when you give a polite no thanks and they come back with the abuse like calling me a fat cunt etc

I always send a reply saying.....oi that's mistress fat cunt to you

The bit I like it when they read it they must think ...oh she's obviously got a sence of humor and try to carry on talking to arrange a meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My fave is when you give a polite no thanks and they come back with the abuse like calling me a fat cunt etc

I always send a reply saying.....oi that's mistress fat cunt to you

The bit I like it when they read it they must think ...oh she's obviously got a sence of humor and try to carry on talking to arrange a meet "
grass

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

when I used to get chatted up behind the bar ( in my younger days ) if they were annoying or wouldn't take no for an answer I'd ask loud enough for others to hear ' are you trying to chat me up , I wouldn't bother ' they inevitably as why to which my replay was ' I already have one twat in my knickers thank you '

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite is when I receive a

" hi "

I always reply with :-

" no, I'm just naturally happy "

They don't usually reply after that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic has just reminded me i just blocked someone (who was well out of my age range) because he messaged me saying 'another one who doesn't talk' and forgot to give them a bitchy message first.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I got a message saying "nice rack" off someone with no pics so I replied "nice black silhouette"..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone asked if I was playing hard to get, I replied I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing leave me the fuck alone"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to the worst 'cum face' pic a man has ever sent me along with the message "that's me milking my meat over your pics, let me cum on you bbe"

Response: "strangely you look as though you are licking piss off a nettle whilst having a seizure"

2nd message...."is that a no then?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a lot of shit on here from haters of the armed forces as I am not really allowed to retaliate and insult these kind of people I just reply with "if you want my cumback go scoop some from your mum's arsehole!" Works every time xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get a lot of shit on here from haters of the armed forces as I am not really allowed to retaliate and insult these kind of people I just reply with "if you want my cumback go scoop some from your mum's arsehole!" Works every time xx"
or off her teeth!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha yep

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yo babe, you a want BBC to do things to you?

No thanks, prefer ITV

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hyblueEyesMan
over a year ago

Daventry

"Nice arse"

Reply

"I need a new one. This ones got a hole in it"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I do love a bit of a witty repost, unfortunately sometimes it goes right over their heads, shame really

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, over 6 million people and you had to chose me? Gee thanks I'm honoured

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every few weeks we get the same message off the same guy sometimes with a new profile the message always does your mrs like big cocks to which we always reply yes its the twats that opperate them we sonetimes struggle with he never replies and vanishes again for another few weeks lol "

Was wondering....does yor missus like big cocks? See you in a few weeks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I had one a couple of days ago that was just "free?".

I replied with "no, I'm very expensive".

My friend has had some idiots approach her in pubs. One guy took a fascination with the gap in her teeth and asked if she was a singer. She told him she'd heard it and to get lost.

He kept asking so eventually she turned to him and said "mate, you're that ugly the tide wouldn't even take you out. Now fuck off". His face was a peach, wish I'd had a camera

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had one a couple of days ago that was just "free?".

I replied with "no, I'm very expensive".

My friend has had some idiots approach her in pubs. One guy took a fascination with the gap in her teeth and asked if she was a singer. She told him she'd heard it and to get lost.

He kept asking so eventually she turned to him and said "mate, you're that ugly the tide wouldn't even take you out. Now fuck off". His face was a peach, wish I'd had a camera "

what do they mean by singer? I have a gap in my front teeth and never heard this before.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews


"what do they mean by singer? I have a gap in my front teeth and never heard this before."

Apparently people with gaps in their teeth are good singers or something?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what do they mean by singer? I have a gap in my front teeth and never heard this before.

Apparently people with gaps in their teeth are good singers or something? "

Oh right, weird people think that. Definitely not true in my case, although i do like singing i am rubbish at it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top