FabSwingers.com forum: No pics due to job

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really.....how many others think this has more to it. Your on a swingers site, if anyone else sees it then they are on a swingersl site as well. If your job is that important to you maybe you shouldn't be on here. I will not reply to any emails that don't have pics.

What's your guys n gels opinions on this ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i delete their message.i work in a public job and i have pics.its bulls*** they are likely to be just ugly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or married or just fakes

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If people aren't willing to send a couple of face pics on here then I'm not interested in taking things any further with them

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

We don't reply to messages where there's no pic on the profile and sometimes when no pic is attached to the message, however, there are those on the site who really do have to be careful. The demographic of swingers will obviously include some from the public sector in sensitive professions it's inevitable, shouldn't they be able to swing too? The site as far as I (him) can tell facilitates the variety of swingers whatever their background very very well.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I always interpret it as married, ugly as sin,can't be arsed to upload,not the stated gender or any combination thereof.

BTW I don't have face pics because you would all be so dazzled by my beauty I would get thousands of messages a day instead of the hundreds that I do already. A girl had to do other stuff too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?"

If you want me to talk or meet you then that's surely acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people aren't willing to send a couple of face pics on here then I'm not interested in taking things any further with them

Same !! It's not difficult to upload a few private pics is it? Crazy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/04/15 16:10:39]

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I respect their choice not to display pics, so long as they respect my choice not to reply to faceless messages/profiles expecting a blind date.

In my experience though, most are either just fake, ugly or trying to get more personal details (I.e a mobile number, Kick, whatsapp or email address, ect).

No thanks.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

If you want me to talk or meet you then that's surely acceptable?"

Then we'd Skype you . I can produce face pics till they come out of my ares. Proves nothing.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

You don't have to be a member of this site to be able to view pics, so keeping your fave hidden until you are sure about the person(s) you are chatting to is a very good idea. Not so long ago there wad a site set up with hundreds of face pics of female members of Fab splashed all over it..... Would you rather that happened again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never do blind date BUT we only send face pics IF we are hoping to meet

At that point if they say no thanks .. So what ..

We don't keep them on public or private but plenty of other bits of us on there

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"If people aren't willing to send a couple of face pics on here then I'm not interested in taking things any further with them

100% agree - via private messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really.....how many others think this has more to it. Your on a swingers site, if anyone else sees it then they are on a swingersl site as well. If your job is that important to you maybe you shouldn't be on here. I will not reply to any emails that don't have pics.

What's your guys n gels opinions on this ?"

No matter what the job, no reason face pics can't be uploaded to the private folder and attached to messages

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

We all work

So it's BS

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Exactly. If you are able to put face pics up with no worries thats great for you. But don't assume every has equal freedom and flexibility.

If we show an interest then fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

If you want me to talk or meet you then that's surely acceptable?

Then we'd Skype you . I can produce face pics till they come out of my ares. Proves nothing."

I really wouldnt give my Skype address to people who could be complete rejects, yuck. No, for me face pic or no chat and if people don't want to do that there there are hundreds who do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok we have a mixed bag of reply, that's a good starting point.

To the poster that's said "why do you care what we look like" really is that a genuine question ? Of course they care what you look like. There has to be an attraction.

I just feel if your job is so important then maybe you should not be on here in the first place.

Ie. A major political professional or famous Sports star.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people aren't willing to send a couple of face pics on here then I'm not interested in taking things any further with them

Same !! It's not difficult to upload a few private pics is it? Crazy x"

That's what I've done

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"We all work

So it's BS "

Yeh no two people are different. We are just a homogeneous hoard.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Ok we have a mixed bag of reply, that's a good starting point.

To the poster that's said "why do you care what we look like" really is that a genuine question ? Of course they care what you look like. There has to be an attraction.

I just feel if your job is so important then maybe you should not be on here in the first place.

Ie. A major political professional or famous Sports star."

My point was in reference to the 1000s on fab. No way are we meeting them all. If you need a face pic just to say hi then our loss. Never been an iissue really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So your going to arrange a meet with someone without knowing what you all look like ? Seriously

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Im more than prepared to say hi. If saying hi equates to a meet then fine. But for us a hi is just starting a conversation.

I speak to plenty of people without knowing what they look like.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"So your going to arrange a meet with someone without knowing what you all look like ? Seriously"

For example your face pic could be you or someone else.

It's certainly not going to guide whether we say hi to you or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

I had to think very carefully about showing my face publicly, but having nothing to hide it can't do me any harm, plus I declared my membership here at interview, as well as a couple of other sites I belong to and adult sites I visit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im more than prepared to say hi. If saying hi equates to a meet then fine. But for us a hi is just starting a conversation.

I speak to plenty of people without knowing what they look like."

Then join a chat room if you just want to chat to people. I thought this was a site to meet people. Maybe I'm confused!

Let's. All hide our pictures and play secret swing dates. As Forest Gump would say " You never know what your going to get"

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

BS! just an excuse in my opinion if your jobs means that much to you why even risk it by joining the site to meet strangers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

Could I ask you a question please. If at interview they said we won't employ you if you are a member of this kind of site, what would you have done ? Left the site and took the job or left the job and stayed on the site ?

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Im more than prepared to say hi. If saying hi equates to a meet then fine. But for us a hi is just starting a conversation.

I speak to plenty of people without knowing what they look like.

Then join a chat room if you just want to chat to people. I thought this was a site to meet people. Maybe I'm confused!

Let's. All hide our pictures and play secret swing dates. As Forest Gump would say " You never know what your going to get"

So the OP was more an agree with me test than a genuine curiosity.

That's fine. Other opinions valid elsewhere.

As for leaving as we don't match you definition of what we should be we'll take it under advisement.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

" I declared my membership here at interview, as well as a couple of other sites I belong to and adult sites I visit.

really? Why did you feel the need to do that? And how did that workout for you?

Personally I would think it's a need to know basis but you obviously felt they needed to know but why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Im in a public job too im still here gor all to see. As long as you arent bringing this lifestyle into yoyr place of work it is deemed as nothing more than an hobby by employers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's their profile, their choice. If they don't want to display a face pic then surely that is their right without having to explain or justify their reason for not doing so - in much the same way as it is your right to ignore their profile or not respond to a message from them.

I like to call it 'live and let live'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst excuse on fab!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of people claiming this is bs who I would dearly like to give a very plausible explanation to by PM.

Unfortunately I can't due to filters.

However if you're too ignorant as to consider other people's reasons you'll have to remain ignorant.

The hoops I had to jump through to get my job beggar belief. It took over 12 months of deep investigation to secure the post.

As I have nothing to hide and no one who could be hurt by my membership here I don't have a problem showing my face on my profile.

If my personal circumstances change I'll have to reconsider.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's their profile, their choice. If they don't want to display a face pic then surely that is their right without having to explain or justify their reason for not doing so - in much the same way as it is your right to ignore their profile or not respond to a message from them.

I like to call it 'live and let live'"

I do agree with you. I was just asking what the general opinion was to it. But it looks like I opened a right can of worms lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im more than prepared to say hi. If saying hi equates to a meet then fine. But for us a hi is just starting a conversation.

I speak to plenty of people without knowing what they look like.

Then join a chat room if you just want to chat to people. I thought this was a site to meet people. Maybe I'm confused!

Let's. All hide our pictures and play secret swing dates. As Forest Gump would say " You never know what your going to get"

So the OP was more an agree with me test than a genuine curiosity.

That's fine. Other opinions valid elsewhere.

As for leaving as we don't match you definition of what we should be we'll take it under advisement.

I'd answer this if I had any idea what it was on about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I declared my membership here at interview, as well as a couple of other sites I belong to and adult sites I visit.

really? Why did you feel the need to do that? And how did that workout for you?

Personally I would think it's a need to know basis but you obviously felt they needed to know but why?"

I declared it because I was asked. Honesty and being trustworthy are imperatives of my job.

Plus I knew the people asking already knew the answers. Lying would simply have proved that I couldn't be trusted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A couple of people claiming this is bs who I would dearly like to give a very plausible explanation to by PM.

Unfortunately I can't due to filters.

However if you're too ignorant as to consider other people's reasons you'll have to remain ignorant.

The hoops I had to jump through to get my job beggar belief. It took over 12 months of deep investigation to secure the post.

As I have nothing to hide and no one who could be hurt by my membership here I don't have a problem showing my face on my profile.

If my personal circumstances change I'll have to reconsider.

And you happy to put the job on the line to be here......?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

Being a member here isn't the issue. The issue is of my honesty and whether or not I can be trusted.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

if everyone refused to ever send pictures u may end up meeting your sister or heaven help you your wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?"

To answer that question 'why do you need to know what we look like'

Because we won't shag just anyone.

Because we don't waste our time travelling to meet some one we're not attracted to.

How many more reasons would you like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And you happy to put the job on the line to be here......?"

My job isn't on the line. But if had been dishonest about my membership or any of the other questions I was asked I wouldn't have secured the job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of us have jobs that mean it would be a very bad idea for it to become known that we are on here.

Have never had face pics in public. Always been selective about who we give them to. Never had a problem finding meets.

Seems to me it's a much bigger problem for those not able to see them than those of us choosing if and how we want to be seen.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'll send face pics to those I may meet. Or on an occasional face pic thread. I have heard enough stories about people being spotted out and about and approached to know that having public face pics wouldn't work for me. It's got nothing to do with me hiding the fact that I am a gopping munter, simply that this is a small part of my life and I don't see the need to risk it encroaching into my work life when there is no need for it to. If it puts people off meeting me then so be it.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

OP generally stands for opening post or poster.

You should have been your.

But we get it. You were not actually asking for opinions. You just wanted yours affirmed.

That's fine.

You can't possibly see why people want their private lives private. We are hardly going to expand your range of empathy on a forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both of us have jobs that mean it would be a very bad idea for it to become known that we are on here.

Have never had face pics in public. Always been selective about who we give them to. Never had a problem finding meets.

Seems to me it's a much bigger

problem for those not able to see them than those of us choosing if and how we want to be seen."

exactly well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

Being a member here isn't the issue. The issue is of my honesty and whether or not I can be trusted."

So then the problem of "no photo due to job" did not apply in the first place. So why say it did ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP generally stands for opening post or poster.

You should have been your.

But we get it. You were not actually asking for opinions. You just wanted yours affirmed.

That's fine.

You can't possibly see why people want their private lives private. We are hardly going to expand your range of empathy on a forum."

No I'm asking for opinions. But if you wish to make it a personal attack towards me then feel free.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

To answer that question 'why do you need to know what we look like'

Because we won't shag just anyone.

Because we don't waste our time travelling to meet some one we're not attracted to.

How many more reasons would you like.

Its about balance for us.

We are fine with showing faces to people we are interested in.

We have no interest in showing our faces to 99% of people who browse the site.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Its about balance for us.

We are fine with showing faces to people we are interested in.

We have no interest in showing our faces to 99% of people who browse the site."

This 100% !

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

No I'm asking for opinions. But if you wish to make it a personal attack towards me then feel free."

What personal attack.

If this counts as an attack I really need to brush up on the posting policy.

Only post where you agree with someone. Ok found it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be nice if we could see what the jobs actually are. not saying people should show their faces that's their choice but when they say it's because of their job Id like to know what their job is . If it's so high profile it may not be wise to meet these people in a pub or club incase they are recognised. Or it might be unsafe to knock on their front door incase a neighbour sees a sexily dressed lady entering the house .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No I'm asking for opinions. But if you wish to make it a personal attack towards me then feel free.

What personal attack.

If this counts as an attack I really need to brush up on the posting policy.

Only post where you agree with someone. Ok found it.

It tends to be personal when you repetitively use the word "you" in your reply. It's an open descusion and I asked a simple question that you some how have made personal to yourself. As the old saying goes "I feel you protest to much"

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I take it as something to hide,we can all have a face pic in private these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't have to be a member of this site to be able to view pics, so keeping your fave hidden until you are sure about the person(s) you are chatting to is a very good idea. Not so long ago there wad a site set up with hundreds of face pics of female members of Fab splashed all over it..... Would you rather that happened again?

Go to your options and turn search engine access off. On a side note that should have been default anyways.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

No I'm asking for opinions. But if you wish to make it a personal attack towards me then feel free.

What personal attack.

If this counts as an attack I really need to brush up on the posting policy.

Only post where you agree with someone. Ok found it.

Remember don't use 'you' someone might feel it's an attack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At last, an out of control slanging match of a thread that I'm not involved in.....way to go

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

" I declared my membership here at interview, as well as a couple of other sites I belong to and adult sites I visit.

really? Why did you feel the need to do that? And how did that workout for you?

Personally I would think it's a need to know basis but you obviously felt they needed to know but why?

I declared it because I was asked. Honesty and being trustworthy are imperatives of my job.

Plus I knew the people asking already knew the answers. Lying would simply have proved that I couldn't be trusted."

well it sounds like you do have one of those jobs were it does matter I suspect most others don't but use the excuse anyway

if you was referring to me about a BS comment just say so and I will message you so you can reply with a "plausible explanation"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At last, an out of control slanging match of a thread that I'm not involved in.....way to go

Sorry my fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems more like a form of inverted snobbery for some. If you're not interested in those who choose not to show you, and they're not interested in showing you - I'll suggest that's a case of no interest.. and it's best to move on.

As for the 'high profile' comment, there are any number of reasons for people to consider they'd prefer to keep their private life private, and no reason at all for anybody to have to explain themselves on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To us no pics means it's fake or married.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We both have public jobs, with mine being in education. we wouldn't have public face pics, but anything else goes. I think that if someone can recognise us just from our bodies, then they probably know us well enough to be discrete.

Cal

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Anyway. Back on topic for my job makes little to no difference. However would rather my mum was not shown this profile.

Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates.

For my partner the job is key. Not a pop star but let's say a teacher in a church school very easy for parents to start withholding children from school. General outings and nastiness.

Sure the law is on your side. Not much comfort when everything else is effected.

If you think it does not happen you have lead a blessed life. But people do get singled out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually if you set your profile to only be viewable to site members it is. Then all your pics are pixilated.

But I'm genuinely curious what job has a clause "you must not put a picture of your face on a social networking site"

Presumably non of these people have pics on their face book either or they'd be fired for that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one needs to explain to anyone why they won't display pics.if others don't like that,don't contact them.Not difficult is it?

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates."

WTF

so am I gonna end up on a sex poster in 10years time? ?

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By *untime biatchWoman
over a year ago

ova by ea wales

"
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any face pics on here and don't send any either. Nothing to do with my job and I'm not a fake or married. It's my choice to do that. I don't make anyone else put pics on their profile, if you do its your choice. I also wouldn't comment and generalise about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile settings allows your pics to be blocked from non-members. Or set them to private and attach to messages. Your pics will not show up in any internet searches either if you set this in your profile settings.

I know a teacher, a senior civil servant, two paramedics and a prison warden (ex CID) on this site. ALL of them have pics here.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Actually if you set your profile to only be viewable to site members it is. Then all your pics are pixilated.

But I'm genuinely curious what job has a clause "you must not put a picture of your face on a social networking site"

Presumably non of these people have pics on their face book either or they'd be fired for that too."

I don't use Facebook. But there us a slight difference. Facebook is generally socially acceptable.

Open relationships tend to be not so acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates.

WTF

so am I gonna end up on a sex poster in 10years time? ?"

You wish lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually if you set your profile to only be viewable to site members it is. Then all your pics are pixilated.

But I'm genuinely curious what job has a clause "you must not put a picture of your face on a social networking site"

Presumably non of these people have pics on their face book either or they'd be fired for that too.

I don't use Facebook. But there us a slight difference. Facebook is generally socially acceptable.

Open relationships tend to be not so acceptable.

Which has what to do with your job contract?

This is simply a social media site just like Facebook.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I know a teacher, a senior civil servant, two paramedics and a prison warden (ex CID) on this site. ALL of them have pics here."

But it's a moment's work to become a member and costs nothing.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates.

WTF

so am I gonna end up on a sex poster in 10years time? ?"

Your a decent looking fella so why not.

Lots of people have sexted only to find themselves on a porn site where they never intended to be.

It's something we have to warn teenagers about nowadays.

Once on the net it never comes off and can be taken out of context.

Did everyone miss the girl in Spain being slut shamed. Or the girl at the festival same again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm interested to know what it is that bothers people so much about seeing pictures of people they presumably have no interest in meeting? Some sort of sado masochistic non picture collecting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I'd just say let others do with their pics as they see fit and not concern yourself with them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates.

WTF

so am I gonna end up on a sex poster in 10years time? ?

Your a decent looking fella so why not.

Lots of people have sexted only to find themselves on a porn site where they never intended to be.

It's something we have to warn teenagers about nowadays.

Once on the net it never comes off and can be taken out of context.

Did everyone miss the girl in Spain being slut shamed. Or the girl at the festival same again.

I'm often surprised that people express amazement that we won't do what everyone warns youngsters against.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would also prefer not to be on a sex poster in 10 years time if my kids started looking at porn or their mates.

WTF

so am I gonna end up on a sex poster in 10years time? ?"

What it is, sex poster? And how can I apply to be on one?

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

I met someone with no pics but they were recently verified by people who I familiar with and who played with friends.

It worked out great!

But I wouldn't risk it again.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Which has what to do with your job contract?

This is simply a social media site just like Facebook.

And pregnancy does not mean women lose jobs.

There are more ways to remove someone from employment than saying your sacked for swinging.

I'm kinda jealous that some people have no issues. Great for them. But once again your experience of life and work isn't homogeneous for everyone.

My gender has never held me back in life. I would not assume it's the same for everyone else. Just because I've had no issues.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I feel strongly that everyone has the right to show or not to show face pics as they see fit. Just as strongly as people can then choose to meet or not based on the sharing or not of face pics. We choose to, but that is a choice we made for ourselves and don't expect everyone else to do the same. I would love to see a world where it didn't matter to your job or your friends or you family etc. If you were a swingers or not, but I don't think we are there as a society just yet.

BUT, I heard a great quote today on Tristan Taormino's podcast (Sex out loud)

" I would never let a job interfere with my sex life "

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just that I found it interesting and think it fits in well to this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

If you want me to talk or meet you then that's surely acceptable?

Then we'd Skype you . I can produce face pics till they come out of my ares. Proves nothing.

I really wouldnt give my Skype address to people who could be complete rejects, yuck. No, for me face pic or no chat and if people don't want to do that there there are hundreds who do"

Well said , we are the same

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Both of us have jobs that mean it would be a very bad idea for it to become known that we are on here.

Have never had face pics in public. Always been selective about who we give them to. Never had a problem finding meets.

Seems to me it's a much bigger problem for those not able to see them than those of us choosing if and how we want to be seen."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To add some irony the people I'd be most interested in from this discussion are those with the least revealing pics!

Added to which anybody that meets people through sites like this knows it's a lottery whether pics are recent or not. To me it's just a part of making a judgement, not the be all and end all.

And as a final thought one of the first bits of advice we were given a few years ago was to ignore those who demand face pics immediately as they're often only interested in the pictures.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"if everyone refused to ever send pictures u may end up meeting your sister or heaven help you your wife!"

I had a slight giggle there,thanks

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I have always thought it's a weird thing to say. We all have jobs, we all have friends and family.

Mr is married, we still send face pics when organising a meet, so I really don't understand the excuse.

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By *buse my girlfriendCouple
over a year ago

Derby

And you happy to put the job on the line to be here......?

My job isn't on the line. But if had been dishonest about my membership or any of the other questions I was asked I wouldn't have secured the job."

how'd they already know you're on here, who'd you work for MI6? Or have you shagged the boss? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

Being a member here isn't the issue. The issue is of my honesty and whether or not I can be trusted.

So then the problem of "no photo due to job" did not apply in the first place. So why say it did ?"

I didn't say that it did for me.

I'm merely pointing out that it does for others and there are many reasons why they would choose to with hold their photos on their open profile.

I'm at work now, I'll share a few more thoughts on this later which I hope will prove beneficial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dont have public face pics because my wife is so beautiful every guy on fabs balls would explode with excitement...

But its okay because I balance it out as I am so ugly john merrick looks like a calvin klein model in comparison...

Truth is people can choose what they want to share and if thats not face pics then so be it. We tend to send them with a message but each to their own.

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By *1968Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

I am always amazed how narrow minded some people are .. How many members on here do you truly know and trust .. Try going on a profile and open the pictures and right click , save etc etc..

You are opening yourself to the possibility of a whole load of shite especially those prone to antagonising others . Or maybe that guy who feels the right to get a meet after you've said no or ignored him .. A whole can of worms guys !!

Amazes me the lack of intelligence here .

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I am always amazed how narrow minded some people are .. How many members on here do you truly know and trust .. Try going on a profile and open the pictures and right click , save etc etc..

Amazes me the lack of intelligence here . "

It's not a lack of intelligence. How does anyone expect to get any attraction on here if they have no pics at all?

We have pics of me (at the moment) in public, some others in our friends folder. And when arranging meets of course we send a face pic otherwise how do we know there's an attraction? What a waste of time it would be to turn up at a meet and no one is interested.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

And FYI, you can express a view without being insulting. Try it some time.

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By *ngel delight 69Woman
over a year ago

Torquay

What's your guys n gels opinions on this ?"
99.9% who say that are just chatting utter bolox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel strongly that everyone has the right to show or not to show face pics as they see fit. Just as strongly as people can then choose to meet or not based on the sharing or not of face pics. We choose to, but that is a choice we made for ourselves and don't expect everyone else to do the same. I would love to see a world where it didn't matter to your job or your friends or you family etc. If you were a swingers or not, but I don't think we are there as a society just yet.

BUT, I heard a great quote today on Tristan Taormino's podcast (Sex out loud)

" I would never let a job interfere with my sex life "

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just that I found it interesting and think it fits in well to this thread

See, I would never let casual sex with strangers I meet off the Internet interfere with a career I've built up over many years, my professional credibility, and the means to support myself...

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By *1968Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"And FYI, you can express a view without being insulting. Try it some time."

Sorry did I get the wrong end of the stick ? I thought the OP was talking about face pics ? I was talking about protecting your identity to those you don't know !

There's another thread that shows exactly why you need to be careful and how easy it is for shit to happen .

I'll stand by my 'lack of intelligence' comment - I said some people I didn't say everyone or point at anyone in particular .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BUT, I heard a great quote today on Tristan Taormino's podcast (Sex out loud)

" I would never let a job interfere with my sex life "

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just that I found it interesting and think it fits in well to this thread

See, I would never let casual sex with strangers I meet off the Internet interfere with a career I've built up over many years, my professional credibility, and the means to support myself..."

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"And FYI, you can express a view without being insulting. Try it some time.

Sorry did I get the wrong end of the stick ? I thought the OP was talking about face pics ? I was talking about protecting your identity to those you don't know !

There's another thread that shows exactly why you need to be careful and how easy it is for shit to happen .

I'll stand by my 'lack of intelligence' comment - I said some people I didn't say everyone or point at anyone in particular . "

I don't disagree with your point about a disgruntled person being petty and childish and stealing pics, causing trouble etc.

What I am saying is that how many people on here would go to a meet without ever seeing that person's face?

There are some people on here who have their face pics in public, and that's their choice. I don't consider it a lack of intelligence, they're just obviously comfortable doing so.

We choose not to do that and send only to people we're arranging to meet. But even then that doesn't guarantee that someone wouldn't be an arse and do something with them. Eventually you have to take a chance though.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Or just like to keep their private lives private.

Why do you need to know what we look like.?

If you want me to talk or meet you then that's surely acceptable?

Then we'd Skype you . I can produce face pics till they come out of my ares. Proves nothing."

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

Anyone who works for a company or organisation the has a contract or code of conduct that cites holding said employer in good repute stands at risk for showing affinity for a site that the public would hold questionable.

Anyone can stand up and argue their rights to freedom of expression but typically no one is bound to uphold any ones right to be part of a sex based swinging site if an employer argues it tarnishes their reputation.

Just for one moment consider the publics appetite for an expose.

It's just how it is. Many employers may not worry but some do.

FYI this is a one time post. I won't be tracking this one. I just urge anyone to consider what they post unless they are certain their employer considers it their own affair.

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By *1968Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"And FYI, you can express a view without being insulting. Try it some time.

Sorry did I get the wrong end of the stick ? I thought the OP was talking about face pics ? I was talking about protecting your identity to those you don't know !

There's another thread that shows exactly why you need to be careful and how easy it is for shit to happen .

I'll stand by my 'lack of intelligence' comment - I said some people I didn't say everyone or point at anyone in particular .

I don't disagree with your point about a disgruntled person being petty and childish and stealing pics, causing trouble etc.

What I am saying is that how many people on here would go to a meet without ever seeing that person's face?

There are some people on here who have their face pics in public, and that's their choice. I don't consider it a lack of intelligence, they're just obviously comfortable doing so.

The lack of intelligence comment was related to some people who don't seem to understand why some people want to retain some privacy and to be careful.. I agree with you completely and was not saying face pics shouldn't be shared but for me publicly is too risky.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I find its the people who approach you who don't have pics -maybe a cock pic, what more could a girl want! - who don't have pics due to their jobs. Of course, they'd appreciate seeing your own. Strange how some guys don't get it that it's the guys who, more than others, need to up their game.

"Never had any complaints" doesn't cut it.

Images are essential before meets. Get over yourselves.

Keep your profiles as blank as you wish but expect to have some in private, at least, to share. And no, I will make no effort to use WhatsApp, kik, etc, if you make no effort to consider my needs.

It's arrogant to assume that you or your feeble job is superior to my position.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Anyone who works for a company or organisation the has a contract or code of conduct that cites holding said employer in good repute stands at risk for showing affinity for a site that the public would hold questionable.

Just for one moment consider the publics appetite for an expose.

It's just how it is. Many employers may not worry but some do.

FYI this is a one time post. I won't be tracking this one. I just urge anyone to consider what they post unless they are certain their employer considers it their own affair. "

I also find it strange when people ask where I work or live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just for one moment consider the publics appetite for an expose.

It's just how it is. Many employers may not worry but some do.

FYI this is a one time post. I won't be tracking this one. I just urge anyone to consider what they post unless they are certain their employer considers it their own affair. "

Spot on - I can also think of quite a few professions where membership of Fab may breach a professional code of conduct - and could result in dismissal - sad but v true - so, people may have genuine reasons not to have face pics (we do by the way)

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

Its unethical for.me to display a public pic. If i get a connection then i will send 1 privately. Ive had no less ppl want to meet me due to lack of a clear face pic. Ppl who like me want a mental and physical connection will be happy to chat 1st

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok we have a mixed bag of reply, that's a good starting point.

To the poster that's said "why do you care what we look like" really is that a genuine question ? Of course they care what you look like. There has to be an attraction. totally agree has to be an attraction there ur not gonna fuck someone ur not attracted to like lol

I just feel if your job is so important then maybe you should not be on here in the first place.

Ie. A major political professional or famous Sports star."

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

Some people can't show their faces because of their work, social status and position in life. We have been to parties in London before where everyone had to strip off downstairs (women could wear undies) and phones had to be switched off and also left downstairs so no pics could be taken or any other recorded media.

The parties would consist of some very important people so security was strict, most of us on here don't have to worry too much about being seen on here but for some its suicide in terms of their career, for instance teachers, police, customs officals, local and main government workers etc would be sacked so why risk it for a leg over...

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Would we contact someone without face pics? Yes.

Would we meet someone without face pics? Depends on the meeting. At a club

Yes. If they are not for us then hey its a swingers club lots of people there.

If it's a one on one meeting. Then sure a vanilla face pic is fine. But we still would want a hello with both on some kind of telephony.

But we are not going to put face pics up just to get an initial interest. If we lose out then tough for us.

But unless we are keen to meet and that for us means liking similar scenarios and having a date free to meet. Then we will not just hand out face pics for collectors who never meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Would we contact someone without face pics? Yes.

Would we meet someone without face pics? Depends on the meeting. At a club

Yes. If they are not for us then hey its a swingers club lots of people there.

If it's a one on one meeting. Then sure a vanilla face pic is fine. But we still would want a hello with both on some kind of telephony.

But we are not going to put face pics up just to get an initial interest. If we lose out then tough for us.

But unless we are keen to meet and that for us means liking similar scenarios and having a date free to meet. Then we will not just hand out face pics for collectors who never meet."

^^^This

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By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

I'm in the same boat so I think I know what 'process' you are talking about.

Depends what the OP means, if its about having face photos on view publicly, then yes a job could very well be a factor, but sending them privately should at least be expected if planning a meet.

People who think a job doesn't matter have obviously never been in one that does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I respect their choice not to display pics, so long as they respect my choice not to reply to faceless messages/profiles expecting a blind date.

In my experience though, most are either just fake, ugly or trying to get more personal details (I.e a mobile number, Kick, whatsapp or email address, ect).

No thanks. "

A guy once told me he couldn't have pics on here at all but would send them by email text or whatsapp. I politely declined and boy did he freak out. Thing is I'm not bothered about giving my number out as can always block but I do need to see who I am talking to first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

I'm in the same boat so I think I know what 'process' you are talking about.

Depends what the OP means, if its about having face photos on view publicly, then yes a job could very well be a factor, but sending them privately should at least be expected if planning a meet.

People who think a job doesn't matter have obviously never been in one that does. "

This.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"I respect their choice not to display pics, so long as they respect my choice not to reply to faceless messages/profiles expecting a blind date.

In my experience though, most are either just fake, ugly or trying to get more personal details (I.e a mobile number, Kick, whatsapp or email address, ect).

No thanks.

That's what I mean. My post wasn't aimed at those who don't have public face photos but the ones who claim they can't have ANY on here (not even privately) but for some odd reason, "can send them via text/whatsapp/kik/email". - I mean, what fucking difference does that make? Other than you clearly trying to get my personal contact details before we both know I'm interested.

And I know I can block, but if they already have the details what's to stop them repeatedly adding from different phones, devices, giving my number out out of spite, ect?

I just reply with "Yeah, Mate, pull the other one".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread seems to have three elements to it;

Those that understand why a main profile won’t have a full face photo, those that feel anyone who doesn’t have a full face profile is a fake, is married or is ugly. (The last one made me chuckle) and those that firmly believe that anyone who says they can’t show their face due to their work is BS.

I honestly thought that people who were active in the swinging world would be more open minded, tolerant, liberated and understanding than those outside of this world, perhaps I was wrong.

So, to each in turn and a few observations and thoughts of my own.

To those that understand why a profile doesn’t have a full face photo, thumbs up to you guys for being in the open minded, tolerant and understanding group.

Personally, If the overall profile is of interest I’m happy to chat to a non-face profile, or even a shadow one, I’d never dismiss it out of hand. However there will come a point when I want to see who I’m talking to. Once the trust has been built I see no reason not to share a personal photo. If the person I was talking to refused, or gave me all sorts of excuses I’d drop them like a rock. That’s my choice, you are all more than welcome to act differently, that’s your choice.

To those that feel anyone who doesn’t have a full face profile is a fake, is married or is ugly, you might well be right. But equally you might well be wrong.

Just because you have certain freedoms within your own career and lifestyles, don’t automatically assume that the rest of the world does too. And out of interest, maybe you should check your contract of employment, many employers these days have and I quote; “a contract or code of conduct that cites holding said employer in good repute stands at risk for showing affinity for a site that the public would hold questionable.”

Now you can argue about free speech and freedom of expression and what you do in your private life being your own business until the cows come home and you’re blue in the face, but if an employer believes it harms their reputation, you are out, no questions, no arguments, no second chances. No income, no mortgage payments, no food on the table and some very awkward questions to answer at your next interview; “So, tell me why you were dismissed for gross misconduct in your last company. Well, I’m a swinger and ………………………………”

Yes, some employers may not worry, but what if the member works for the government or is a politician, or works with children, or has any form of interaction with minors or those classed as vulnerable; they have EVERY reason to remain private until such time as THEY feel comfortable in sharing. It’s THEIR decision, NOT yours. Now think about the red tops hunger for stories just like this. How dare you decide that a profile is fake because you have no grasp of another members situation or circumstances. Who made you God?

And finally, to those that STILL think using the reason “I can’t show a face picture due to my job” is BS, I hope the above will help you gain a greater understanding of other people’s lives, but I really do doubt it.

A few final thoughts, we enjoy an alternative lifestyle and in the main understand that each and every one of us has their own peccadilloes, our own likes and pleasures, we see no harm in the way we live our lives. However to those on the outside we are freaks, weirdos, perverts, even paedos. These are the people who sit in judgement of what we do in our privates lives, consensually and without harming anyone.

We can all say “what we do in private is no business of anyone else” and generally we would be right. But for many people blurring the lines between public and private can have far reaching consequences. And it’s in this area people are stupid and take plainly ridiculous risks.

Let me share an example. Fred has a contract of employment which clearly states that if his actions harm the profile of his employer, attract negative publicity or bring the company into disrepute he will be subject to disciplinary action and probably dismissal.

He works for a global brand with a wholesome family image, clean cut and squeaky clean. His brand is supported by billions of dollars in sponsorship from thousands of companies throughout the world who share the same values as his brand.

In Fred’s private life he likes to be spanked by hookers dressed as Nazis.

Fred in a moment of stupidity allows the hookers to know his identity, where works and his position within the company. In his second act of poor judgement he agrees to meet the hookers in their place of business for his next fun encounter.

Having shown his face publically and the environment he works in to the hookers they see a golden goose in front of them, they set up hidden cameras and video equipment, film and photograph the whole thing and then threaten Fred that they will go public and attempt to blackmail him.

At this point Fred makes his final error. What he should do is go to the police and report the blackmail attempt. Instead he refuses to pay, and his name, his brand and the pictures are spread across every red top in the land for a month.

The brand loses sponsorship due to the negative publicity, he loses his job, his reputation and his marriage.

How, because he mixed/shared his private life with his public life.

That is why people initially choose to hide their faces from their profiles and are very reluctant to show their faces to total strangers.

And yes, this did happen. If the story doesn’t resonate with you, google Max Mosely.

You think this doesn’t happen? Ask anyone who runs a club what he fears the most, it isn’t single blokes being a pain in the ass, it isn’t the damage guests do to his property, it’s the tabloid press getting into their events and making a mountain out of a molehill.

Did this help move anyone’s perspective? I honestly doubt it.

Doubtless some numbnut will post that they think it's bollocks.

And for that reason, I'm out.

The end…………………………

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is legal last time i looked ?isnt it? so for us the "carnt show pic coz of work etc" is bull..ammount of times weve been caught on here of ppl we kno n guess wat happened ...nowt coz as mentioned above they on here fr same reasons ...bulls#@$" deception is onlt reason for not showin u pic etc m.n.m x

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"swinging is legal last time i looked ?isnt it? so for us the "carnt show pic coz of work etc" is bull..ammount of times weve been caught on here of ppl we kno n guess wat happened ...nowt coz as mentioned above they on here fr same reasons ...bulls#@$" deception is onlt reason for not showin u pic etc m.n.m x"

I'm glad for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a little surprised at some of the attitudes here.

Some people have very valid reasons for not showing their faces publicly.

And sorry to say, job plays a massive part of that decision.

I'm in the same boat so I think I know what 'process' you are talking about.

Depends what the OP means, if its about having face photos on view publicly, then yes a job could very well be a factor, but sending them privately should at least be expected if planning a meet.

People who think a job doesn't matter have obviously never been in one that does. "

This.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

What's your guys n gels opinions on this ?"

My opinion is this.

If you don't want to reply to messages without pics that's fine.

Why do you think you can tell people who don't want to show pics that they shouldn't be using this site ? This site doesn't exist for you and people who have need different to yours do exist.

If people don't want to show pics due to their job that's fine for them and anyone who agrees with it.

Amen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh deary deary me.

Legality isn't the issue.

FFS why is this so hard to grasp?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your guys n gels opinions on this ?

My opinion is this.

If you don't want to reply to messages without pics that's fine.

Why do you think you can tell people who don't want to show pics that they shouldn't be using this site ? This site doesn't exist for you and people who have need different to yours do exist.

If people don't want to show pics due to their job that's fine for them and anyone who agrees with it.

Amen."

This.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

"This thread seems to have three elements to it;