FabSwingers.com forum: FFM with "watching" male

By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

This annoys me soooo much. A woman that pretends to be bi for her husband so he can gawk and watch. Or equally a husband that tells her wife she's "bisexual" just so he can see what he wet dreams about.

And the worst bit is people actually agree to these meets! I just don't get how, mid arranging either a solo f-f with a so called "single lady" or a ffm with a cpl, they reveal that actually a man is there to watch, I won't do it without hubby, or respectively for the ffm he's only there to gawk! NO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love ffm with the wife and another bifem. But most definitely prefer the hands on approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This annoys me soooo much. A woman that pretends to be bi for her husband so he can gawk and watch. Or equally a husband that tells her wife she's "bisexual" just so he can see what he wet dreams about.

Surely, this behaviour is just a sub-section of dishonesty. If people are upfront in stating what they want, then you have the option to accept or decline.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

If the male is just watching, it's not FFM is it?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

This set up is something we equally want to explore, there's no exploitation from either of us on the other. It's a really delicate set up for us and Mrs wants to be in total control over who the woman will be as it will be her first experience with a girl. It's something we've spoken about but believe me it won't happen unless she says so and there's zero pressure from me either. Seeing her in differing scenarios is what I like and how she reacts in said scenario. No wanking EVER from me not even getting remotely undressed is how we play, it's not always pressure from the guy. Just for the record I prefer her to be with guys, never been interested in ff it's her who wants fm. I love to totally focus on Mrs N 100% and it's that we put our swinging focus on and she loves the fact I love to watch, it's totally about that for us and explicitly why we swing. There will be many words exchanged before we engage in this type of play with the persons involved as we'd never want people to feel how you do. Glad you put this up as it's another aspect we need to consider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all too common. I approach single bi fems profile with a little caution now.

I've chatted to a few fems who are part of a couple and use their single fems profile to initiate chat when they have no intention of meeting alone. They tend to get a little upset when I tell them I think it's an underhanded way of going about it.

I'm happy to play with couples, but would never do so if I've been contacted via a single fem profile first.

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By *ady n the trampCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

It is if the male doesnt want to play. No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I personally find the thought of a man fully dressed watching me play with his partner with no involvement at all a bit creepy...Each to their own but if I was a single female meeting couples this wouldn't be for me. If I wanted to play with a woman with no involvement from the monkey, I'd meet her one to one

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

What a bizarre thing to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all too common. I approach single bi fems profile with a little caution now.

I'm happy to play with couples, but would never do so if I've been contacted via a single fem profile first. "

Totally with you on this ! Ive been approached by many single bi females with 'hidden agendas' saying they only meet with their fb!

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"To be honest, I personally find the thought of a man fully dressed watching me play with his partner with no involvement at all a bit creepy...Each to their own but if I was a single female meeting couples this wouldn't be for me. If I wanted to play with a woman with no involvement from the monkey, I'd meet her one to one

And I don't understand why you'd find that creepy, I'm not getting involved in the sexual side so why would I undress? Taking pics of Mrs N having fun is how it works for us. Got to say this is the first I've ever heard someone say that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is if the male doesnt want to play. No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

Er I have. And had a great time.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

What people on Fab often fail to understand is because they like their play to be a certain way, it doesn't follow that is how everyone else likes to play.

You guys carry on having fun exactly how you like, and of course it's not creepy. If it's right for you and the people you play with, that is all that matters.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"It is if the male doesnt want to play. No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

Er I have. And had a great time."

Of course. There are plenty of women who will meet a couple on their own. We've met some of them ourselves!

The key is comfort and safety for all involved, and that requires patience, consideration and honest communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is if the male doesnt want to play. No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

Er I have. And had a great time.

Of course. There are plenty of women who will meet a couple on their own. We've met some of them ourselves!

The key is comfort and safety for all involved, and that requires patience, consideration and honest communication. "

Exactly. I really hate that attitude about single girls, it makes it all the more difficult for us! Not the kind of thing you expect to find on here. Anyway, each to their own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We meet guys on their own , more than a few guys together , couples , and single girls and the only common denominator is that I will often just watch , whoever they are .

No complaints so far in 3 spells on fab , and hopefully we won't get any as time goes by .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What people on Fab often fail to understand is because they like their play to be a certain way, it doesn't follow that is how everyone else likes to play.

You guys carry on having fun exactly how you like, and of course it's not creepy. If it's right for you and the people you play with, that is all that matters."

I fail to see where in my post I say that we all have to play the same way...just that it wouldn't be my choice...In fact, I said each to their own.

Opinions vary about many things, I expressed mine in response to the OP...no criticism implied...purely an opinion...

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

What people on Fab often fail to understand is because they like their play to be a certain way, it doesn't follow that is how everyone else likes to play.

You guys carry on having fun exactly how you like, and of course it's not creepy. If it's right for you and the people you play with, that is all that matters."

Phew! And there I was thinking all of our meets were creepy

. Creepy for me is of the stalking sense and the ilk, was almost asking what does that make of the people we've met who knew our scenario prior

Was getting creeped out for a sec,.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

What people on Fab often fail to understand is because they like their play to be a certain way, it doesn't follow that is how everyone else likes to play.

You guys carry on having fun exactly how you like, and of course it's not creepy. If it's right for you and the people you play with, that is all that matters."

Exactly!

There seems to be a growing number of threads where unwarranted assumptions are made about other people's preferences. If it isn't for you simply move on and please leave others to enjoy what they enjoy without criticism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually quite like the idea of a watching male... although I like being watched so that might be why!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We love FFMs with everyone involved, but are also interested in starting off with our guest and M 'putting on a show' for C, where C is being made to watch. So it would be the man of the couple and single woman putting on a show for the fem of the couple.

It's a different twist, and one we are very keen to explore. You don't see it mentioned on Fab much, though. Is it something anyone else enjoys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What male in his right mind would just watch? F**kin fanny balls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" What male in his right mind would just watch? F**kin fanny balls. "

Ugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We love FFMs with everyone involved, but are also interested in starting off with our guest and M 'putting on a show' for C, where C is being made to watch. So it would be the man of the couple and single woman putting on a show for the fem of the couple.

It's a different twist, and one we are very keen to explore. You don't see it mentioned on Fab much, though. Is it something anyone else enjoys?

I've been approached by quite a few couples who share your interests so you're not alone. Not my thing, but I do believe there is someone for everyone on here.

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By *ot monkey71Couple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

We love FFM's and, for us, everyone has to be involved from the outset. If my OH wanted a show we would stay in and watch one on the internet

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"It's all too common. I approach single bi fems profile with a little caution now.

I'm happy to play with couples, but would never do so if I've been contacted via a single fem profile first. "

Exactly!!

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Same

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

!!!

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

But in our scenario you're not performing for me (him) you're according to us enjoying your ff experience with Mrs N. I have no interest in you as I'm interested in Mrs N like you would be, no?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

" What male in his right mind would just watch? F**kin fanny balls. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

But in our scenario you're not performing for me (him) you're according to us enjoying your ff experience with Mrs N. I have no interest in you as I'm interested in Mrs N like you would be, no?"

If I want an FF I'll have purely an FF, if I want a full on 3sum I'll have one. If youre not interested in the extra fem, don't attend, don't watch and let your wife have her girl on girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather Mrs go off on a solo ff meet than me watching in a "ffm threesome"

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

But in our scenario you're not performing for me (him) you're according to us enjoying your ff experience with Mrs N. I have no interest in you as I'm interested in Mrs N like you would be, no?

If I want an FF I'll have purely an FF, if I want a full on 3sum I'll have one. If youre not interested in the extra fem, don't attend, don't watch and let your wife have her girl on girl

And the point of her having me watch is totally missed yet again. Who she plays with isn't the point it's the point of watching her and her having me watch which is totally paramount for us. Hope you get it.

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

But in our scenario you're not performing for me (him) you're according to us enjoying your ff experience with Mrs N. I have no interest in you as I'm interested in Mrs N like you would be, no?

If I want an FF I'll have purely an FF, if I want a full on 3sum I'll have one. If youre not interested in the extra fem, don't attend, don't watch and let your wife have her girl on girl

It's creepy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we have FFM's we like everyone to be fully involved but it often starts as fem/fem play while Jay watches for a little while. That is MY choice, as I want to have some one on one fem play before I let my hubby join us. I say when he joins and what he does. I am not bi for him, or indeed because he 'made' me. I play with other women for my own reasons but enjoy sharing that experience with him & spoiling a fem together.

I find it a bit insulting that people constantly talk about these 'over bearing, controlling husbands' who apparently pressure their women into playing bi for his pleasure!! I have my own brain and am capable of making decisions for myselF, including who I play with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree with OP

If the word 'show' appears in any message from a couple looking to meet it's an automatic no (but less polite!), I tell them I'm bi for real and not a performing seal

But in our scenario you're not performing for me (him) you're according to us enjoying your ff experience with Mrs N. I have no interest in you as I'm interested in Mrs N like you would be, no?

If I want an FF I'll have purely an FF, if I want a full on 3sum I'll have one. If youre not interested in the extra fem, don't attend, don't watch and let your wife have her girl on girl

It's creepy "

No it isn't! And this really isn't the place for a judgemental attitude! I for one love the idea of being with another female and having her partner just watch. You think it's creepy and you will never do it. Nice one, we all now know what you think. Move on!

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"When we have FFM's we like everyone to be fully involved but it often starts as fem/fem play while Jay watches for a little while. That is MY choice, as I want to have some one on one fem play before I let my hubby join us. I say when he joins and what he does. I am not bi for him, or indeed because he 'made' me. I play with other women for my own reasons but enjoy sharing that experience with him & spoiling a fem together.

But you are part of a couple. You also need to understand that from the genuinely bi single fem perspective who just wants ff or a ffm, its creepy to have a guy gawk. Being bi doesn't make you an art exhibition!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To YOU it's creepy. Don't talk one behalf of us all, please. I don't find it creepy. As long as I know that he will be there but not participating, that is fine with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a different twist, and one we are very keen to explore. You don't see it mentioned on Fab much, though. Is it something anyone else enjoys?

I've done this a fair bit with one of my partners. He ties me up and makes me watch him fuck women.

It's very hot. And great fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you are part of a couple. You also need to understand that from the genuinely bi single fem perspective who just wants ff or a ffm, its creepy to have a guy gawk. Being bi doesn't make you an art exhibition!"

well ofcourse i would not expect the SBF to do something she didn't feel comfortable with but what you find creepy, plenty of others have found a huge turn on. It is not a show for him to gawk at, it's just a chance for me and the fem to have some fun before he joins in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *lutmeup500 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I get the fun before he joins in. Just doesn't make sense why he has to be present.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a different twist, and one we are very keen to explore. You don't see it mentioned on Fab much, though. Is it something anyone else enjoys?

I've done this a fair bit with one of my partners. He ties me up and makes me watch him fuck women.

It's very hot. And great fun."

I love the idea of tying my partner up while I'm with another girl, but of course the other girl would have to find it hot too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And for me, that's how it should be. The majority of couples I meet are much like yourselves. However, I have met a fair few couples for socials where the 'only doing it for her husband' has been very apparent. I've even met a couple where I assumed I'd been chatting to her via fab, but sussed out it was him that had been doing all the talking and she had little idea of what had been said.

It's a con, underhanded and a waste of my time. Social meets can be time consuming, but I won't meet a couple without one for this very reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the fun before he joins in. Just doesn't make sense why he has to be present."

For me it would be that a huge part of my arousal from playing with others male or female is my partner watching.. the look in his eyes , the pleasure of watching him get aroused as he watches x so for me I'd not play with a girl without him present not because I'm doing it for him.. But because part of my enjoyment comes from the being watched x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the fun before he joins in. Just doesn't make sense why he has to be present."

Because he'd be joining in with us after a few mins?! I don't want to have to ring him and summon him from the pub!! Plus, we are a couple and only play as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the key part of the op's statement is she said the female 'pretends' for her husband or she's told that she is bi by her husband. Which suggests the wife is doing something she might not want to do, which of course is wrong for all parties concerned.

However if the wife is genuinely bi (i don't think the op was suggesting this) and she and the single bi-fem are happy for the husband to watch and it was discussed from the outset surely this is just another form of voyeurism?

If Lucinda wants to play with another women without me I'm happy for her to do that, as long as I get to hear about it afterwards

But personally speaking from a man's point of view if I'm there I want to be involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the fun before he joins in. Just doesn't make sense why he has to be present.

Exactly the same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I will only play in a ffm setup if the woman is also happy to play with me alone. That doesn't always happen, but I need to know that she would be absolutely willing to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck that! No hidden agendas here, I'd meet a female one to one, not a problem, this for me would be heaven shopping little girlie n fluffy time! Our fun n frolicks time..once I'd meet with her with me n my guy, for a social. Shoe on the other foot he wants to make sure I'm not meeting a lunatic... I love to meet ladies, they are delicious! I enjoy their faces as he pleasures them?? Explain can i buggery!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I will only play in a ffm setup if the woman is also happy to play with me alone. That doesn't always happen, but I need to know that she would be absolutely willing to do that."

And you intrigue me

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I can only speak for us, but Mr is a voyeur and loves to watch me sometimes, regardless of which sex I'm with. We also like to take pics/videos, when everyone is agreeable.

I didn't begin to really explore my bi side until I met him, but I've always fancied women and I certainly don't do it to please him.

I understand there are some who do that, but that's not the case with us

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's a different twist, and one we are very keen to explore. You don't see it mentioned on Fab much, though. Is it something anyone else enjoys?

I've done this a fair bit with one of my partners. He ties me up and makes me watch him fuck women.

It's very hot. And great fun."

Yes, that's exactly the sort of thing we are talking about...it's so hot!

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By *ndyhoMan
over a year ago

leeds

Never had a ffm before lol.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"It is if the male doesnt want to play. No woman in her right mind.would turn up to a meet with a couple on her own

I have met lots of women on their own with Kim & do so on a regular basis, it is a strange comment but perhaps you have had a bad experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Lucinda wants to play with another women without me I'm happy for her to do that, as long as I get to hear about it afterwards

But personally speaking from a man's point of view if I'm there I want to be involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bit of an exhibitionist when it comes to group sex, be it the orgies I've had before I got into a relationship, or the scenarios I've been in with him after. The first time I did girl on girl, I was being watched by about 4 guys I all knew and a couple of girls too... Super hot. Also last foursome we had, I started playing with the wife, whilst the two men watched for a bit, and I blushed with pride when they told me after that they were both content to watch the 'beautiful sight' for a bit before play.

Having said that, I'm not bi for everyone and that's a special side that comes out occasionally... But its not gawking in my eyes, its appreciating. I'd be the same if two guys were getting off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to watch

...especially at clubs and parties. I love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What people on Fab often fail to understand is because they like their play to be a certain way, it doesn't follow that is how everyone else likes to play.

You guys carry on having fun exactly how you like, and of course it's not creepy. If it's right for you and the people you play with, that is all that matters.

I fail to see where in my post I say that we all have to play the same way...just that it wouldn't be my choice...In fact, I said each to their own.

Opinions vary about many things, I expressed mine in response to the OP...no criticism implied...purely an opinion..."

I'll hold my hand up and agree with you. Depending on the guy, I'd find it creepy too. I might find it a turn on too though.... depending on the guy.

I think it's unfair to criticise you for having an opinion. If everyone agreed with everything the world would be a boring place.

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