FabSwingers.com forum: HIV help

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone.

I slept with a guy for the first time on here nearly 2 weeks ago. I was just curious and wanted to try it. We used protection but it came off inside off him and only noticed when I pulled out. He said the condom was full when he removed it. I never saw this. But he also assured me he only plays safe. And that he wouldn't lie as and empty condom would be a huge concern for him.

I am now displaying flu like symptoms. May be by coincidence but still it has me very worried. I've tried to approach the individual about it but they just blocked me.

I really don't know what to do. Haven't slept in days. Can anybody offer any advice? Has anyone had similar problems?

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

Go and get tested!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 21/03/15 08:25:26]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

you have the cold.....

don't let it get to you, for reassurance go for a test.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and I think HIV takes a couple of months to appear.

a postal test can help if you can't get to a clinic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids so I don't know whether anxiety is bringing out the symptoms. The individual concerned has worried me by choosing to block rather than respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a grip!

And learn about HIV. It's not flu! And you certainly wont get symptoms that quickly.

If you really are worried go to a STD clinic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go and get tested!

It's too early to get tested for hiv, but go to the gum clinic for advice and other tests. Don't trust the often dodgy advice that people put on here about sexual health. Go get checked out by the health professionals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and I think HIV takes a couple of months to appear.

a postal test can help if you can't get to a clinic."

It can take around 6 months at least for anything to appear apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get tested as soon as you can, results will be sent privately by text or call if you wish.

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So all my glands being up are not flu like symptoms? I'm only worried and asking advice not looking for a slanging match.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and I wouldn't shag your wife until you are 100%.

that is the risk of playing away from home, not judging just the reality of sexual health and loved ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So all my glands being up are not flu like symptoms? I'm only worried and asking advice not looking for a slanging match. "

yes it sounds like you have a cold or flu. HIV takes around 6 months to show symptoms, go to clinic for general screening once its been 2 weeks, then make an app for HIV blood testing for 3 months time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Symptoms only really show 1-6 weeks and not there after

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids. "

Lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Symptoms only really show 1-6 weeks and not there after "

As View said, don't fuck your wife unprotected until you get properly tested. Could be months.

Most of the people I know have a cold. Coincidence and guilty conscience for you possibly- or possibly symptoms....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know, it's really bad. I let dry ken curiosity get the better of me

. If I could wind back the clock I would.

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"I know, it's really bad. I let dry ken curiosity get the better of me

. If I could wind back the clock I would. "

Your conscience is killing you yet you're still on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've hardly been able to sleep or think of anything else since the moment I left that room so I also believe the guilty conscience could be playing a part. I definitely won't risk passing it on. What do I do about the individual that blocked me? Do I report them for ignoring my concern?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" Do I report them for ignoring my concern? "

No leave him be.....

He has blocked you because you are questioning his sexual health and possibly finds that insulting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm on here for advice. I have t got anyone close I can talk to about it. I honestly have ruined my life with a moment of madness. I'm convinced the worst is going to happen and to be honest it's no more than I deserves

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

"I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids.

Lovely.

Don't be so judgemental. Poor guy. Lots of married people on here he's just unfortunate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Insulting or not surely it is part of your responsibility to others should you choose to meet them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Symptoms only really show 1-6 weeks and not there after "

Ignorance is a dangerous thing. And you have plenty of it!

Sorry to be harsh but HIV is human immunodeficiency virus. You wont get HIV 'symptoms' as through contracting HIV it means you are more susceptible to any illness flu, cancer, shingles, pneumonia it goes on... because your immune system is attacked.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Insulting or not surely it is part of your responsibility to others should you choose to meet them? "

quite right.... are you telling your wife today ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can not be test for HIV for 4-6 month after the event. that being said go to the GU clinic or Drs and if you are that worried about tit they can start you on precautionary med until they are able to test you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ouch no I'm not. But I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind. I'm not looking for sympathy I'm just wanting to know if others have experienced this and how did they deal with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op just ring up the clinic and the nurses will talk it through with you, you are worried and you will feel a little better to talk to a qualified clinician. They will advise when to go in for your test etc.

You do have a cold but talking to someone will help the anxiety.

Dont read too much into the blocking, I expect he just can't be bothered with what he sees as drama rather than knowingly having HIV and avoiding you.

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

"Insulting or not surely it is part of your responsibility to others should you choose to meet them?

quite right.... are you telling your wife today ?"

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids.

Lovely.

Don't be so judgemental. Poor guy. Lots of married people on here he's just unfortunate."

If i'm not allowed to judge, you're not allowed to tell me so! Hypocritical.

My response would be the same to any married person who has got themselves in this pickle. It's their own fault for being a cheat. Simple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apparently the uk test can give you 90/95% accurate result after 4 weeks

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

No one deserves HIV from being unfaithful,and not every man you bum is going to be dosed up with it.all you can do is play the waiting game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the way the op is talking , he is mega stressed out , and it's quite feasible that the stress is causing the symptoms he is experiencing .

It's highly unlikely he would be having hiv symptoms so soon .

Op - get yourself to a gum clinic asap , for your peace of mind . Once you understand more and the stress eases these symptoms should go .

It's a bit like having a headache and googling your symptoms . After 5 minutes searching you think it's a brain tumour and the symptoms seem worse !

I'm not trying to make light of your plight but seriously , you are letting the stress rule you and you have lost sense of the reality here .

Although there may be a slim chance that you have picked up something , you would be very unlucky if it's as bad as you currently think it is .

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your kind and calming words. I think the worry is ruining me. I used protection and I did see the condom 20/30 secs before I pulled out and lost it. Statistics are on my side but worry and guilt have got me thinking the worst case. Which is obviously still possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently the uk test can give you 90/95% accurate result after 4 weeks "

Were you the top? The risk is greater to the bottom guy. Youre risk is greater if there was any blood/anal tears etc.

As others have said you'd also show symptoms much later.

Saying that if you talk to a clinic they can talk you through things including PEP if necessary. Terrance Higgins Trust has a great phoneline.

Practice more with using rubbers for the future...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did use a rubber and it was there not long before the end. I was top yes and he said the runner was full. It's too late for pep

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

OP grow a pair - take responsibility for your actions. If you're adult enough to fuck about then you should be adult enough to manage your own sexual health.

Go get all the tests required. If you're not prepared to be honest with your wife then ensure you do not have sexual interactions with your wife until you have the all clear.

Basically everything which has been said already. Once clear you can get back to business as usual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The risk of catching hiv from giving (rather than receiving) anal sex from an infected partner is 11 in 10,000 according to the CDC.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You are too late for PEP as you only have a small window period for it to be successful I believe it's 72 hours. Also you wore a condom and even if it came off it reduces the risk of transmission. It takes about 3 weeks however in some cases several months for people to become infected. In a majority of cases you get a rash on the top half of your body and flu like symptoms however some don't even get any of these symptoms. They may do a test now which won't give an accurate result but they will tell you to come back 3 months after the exposure for a more confirmed result. Avoid using Google because it will just scare the crap out of you. Keep calm and get yourself tested and don't sleep with your wife until you have been given the all clear..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm on here for advice. I have t got anyone close I can talk to about it. I honestly have ruined my life with a moment of madness. I'm convinced the worst is going to happen and to be honest it's no more than I deserves "
As people say, go get tested and, if you are really this worried, I am a little surprised that you can't prioritise this in your life for another 3 weeks.

Also you need to have a serious talk with your wife. You're on here, one assumes to play away, and that means you have not only lied to her, but to every person who read your profile.

But anyhoo; important thing is no sex until you have been tested AND talk to your wife. The truth will set you free!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half the country is suffering flu-like symptoms at the mo, it must be worrying, but the chances are you've picked up this cold/flu/laryngitis bug thats going around.

Get tested for peace of mind, theres lots of help and advice out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use smaller condoms.

And stop seeking attention. It's not very becoming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask for HIV PCR TEST. That will show up the viral antigen in 3 weeks rather than wait 3 months for viral antibody test. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone.

I am now displaying flu like symptoms. May be by coincidence but still it has me very worried. I've tried to approach the individual about it but they just blocked me.

I really don't know what to do. Haven't slept in days. Can anybody offer any advice? Has anyone had similar problems?"
Go to your local GUM and let them know whats going on so you get your tests its the only way you will have peace of mind . xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and I wouldn't shag your wife until you are 100%.

that is the risk of playing away from home, not judging just the reality of sexual health and loved ones."

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

From what you have described, it's highly unlikely that you have picked up HIV. To catch HIV you need to exchange bodily fluids such as blood, semen and vaginal fluids. The symptoms you say you're experiencing maybe psychosomatic or could be that you just picked up a virus and homing in on it after scaring yourself from what you've read on the internet.

As others have said, best you go to the doctor or your local GUM clinic. Yes, it's too early to get tested, but the medical professionals would give you much better advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and I wouldn't shag your wife until you are 100%.

that is the risk of playing away from home, not judging just the reality of sexual health and loved ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do hope you have the decency to explain to your wife why you can't have unprotected sex its her for the foreseeable future. It was your choice to cheat, don't make her suffer the consequences of any infections you have picked up.

Like other posters have said, get to a gum clinic pronto.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From the way the op is talking , he is mega stressed out , and it's quite feasible that the stress is causing the symptoms he is experiencing .

It's highly unlikely he would be having hiv symptoms so soon .

Op - get yourself to a gum clinic asap , for your peace of mind . Once you understand more and the stress eases these symptoms should go .

It's a bit like having a headache and googling your symptoms . After 5 minutes searching you think it's a brain tumour and the symptoms seem worse !

I'm not trying to make light of your plight but seriously , you are letting the stress rule you and you have lost sense of the reality here .

Although there may be a slim chance that you have picked up something , you would be very unlucky if it's as bad as you currently think it is .

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know, it's really bad. I let dry ken curiosity get the better of me

. If I could wind back the clock I would. "

D*unken curiousity? No disrespect but man up and face the potential consequences of your actions. You got yourself in this situation. You are making excuses to not get checked for a few weeks and refusing to tell your partner. If you are as stressed as you claim do you not think she's spotted something is wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice."
TBA, I think the sympathy is for your wife. You need to man up and be honest with her. Sorry to be blunt, but it's how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice."

So what advice do you want? Because it appears you are ignoring all the advice that you are being given

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

look up the Terrence higgens trust.

I read that if you get flu like symtoms within a week or two to three weeks then it could mean you have got hiv.

I would get tested straight away.

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids.

Lovely.

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know I can think is I hope you've hadn't sex with your wife... While you have your little moment it obs really doesn't bother you that much because you still have an active profile.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Go get tested.. explain the situation and take notice of the counseling you receive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice."

As above the viral antigen is detectable after 3 weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice.

So what advice do you want? Because it appears you are ignoring all the advice that you are being given"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Straight...."

Curious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm you do know the GUM Clinic will want all of your recent sexual parnters details to inform them if you have contracted ANYTHING, this will include your wife!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nice young man at the gum clinic told me if you have sex without using a condom you should get tested after two weeks. if you are that worried tell your doctor then maybe he could arrange for you to have the test sooner.

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 21/03/15 10:14:26]

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"So all my glands being up are not flu like symptoms? I'm only worried and asking advice not looking for a slanging match. "

You're clearly in a panic about this so go and speak to a professional about it.

That being said whatever you are currently suffering from it will definitely not be related to HIV or AIDS possibly caught from sec you had 2 weeks ago even if you had actually contracted the virus at the time. AIDS is a progressive condition that can take years to become symptomatic if ever.

Stop panicking and find the facts.

OK mate!!

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Anxiety/remorse and sexual guilt creates so many probs with our bodies..

The message for you is not to play away as the consequences outweigh the pleasures..

I have had to block a couple of guys who decided they may have picked up something..sore appears or feel flu like.hiv is not that easy to catch..

Concentrate on more important things like your partner &swing when sorted...Ax

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Don't be daft. No one deserves a horribly deadly disease and, in all reality, you've probably not got one.

Go get yourself checked and find out the truth and facts about STD's, HIV and AIDS.

Most of all stop beating yourself up and stop working yourself up into a panic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be daft. No one deserves a horribly deadly disease and, in all reality, you've probably not got one.

Go get yourself checked and find out the truth and facts about STD's, HIV and AIDS.

Most of all stop beating yourself up and stop working yourself up into a panic."

I like your posts lately.

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By *uddy and hollyCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

the chances of geting hiv from one night of fun is millions to one if he did have hiv and has not told you then he has broken the law can be charged with a tempted murder the law is any one with hiv has to tell any one who they have sex with they cary the hiv virus hope this reassures you but still go for a test in 6 to 8 weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the chances of geting hiv from one night of fun is millions to one if he did have hiv and has not told you then he has broken the law can be charged with a tempted murder the law is any one with hiv has to tell any one who they have sex with they cary the hiv virus hope this reassures you but still go for a test in 6 to 8 weeks"
Well some know and don't care and they don't care about the laws .. Was in the papers how some its there way of getting others back who give it to them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the chances of geting hiv from one night of fun is millions to one if he did have hiv and has not told you then he has broken the law can be charged with a tempted murder the law is any one with hiv has to tell any one who they have sex with they cary the hiv virus hope this reassures you but still go for a test in 6 to 8 weeks Well some know and don't care and they don't care about the laws .. Was in the papers how some its there way of getting others back who give it to them . "

Yes I know that's what worrys me.

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Tuesday and Thursday walk in clinic at GWM Open till 7.30pm. Very helpful, non judgemental. If anyone recognises you just say you are there for the dentist. Same waiting room.

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

So the blame is with the carrier is it? I dont see why people carrying tbe virus should declare it unless yr negotiating bareback. What about the 7 million (britain)people carrying the herpes virus??Should they say so?

How about people taking resposibility for themselves?

If you are sexually active the chances are you will have had sex with someone with hiv...If you are practising safer sex then it makes no difference...Ax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I'm not making any excuses to not get checked. A test now would not pick up anything. I'm only human and I made a mistake. Not looking for sympathy just advice.

So what advice do you want? Because it appears you are ignoring all the advice that you are being given"

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

This

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

How about people taking resposibility for themselves?

If you are sexually active the chances are you will have had sex with someone with hiv...If you are practising safer sex then it makes no difference...Ax

I'd say the responsibility lies with both but, for my own protection, I would take precautions that assumed the other had any of these and was not saying.

At least that's what I'm saying sitting at home totally sober and un horny. And that's the problem with good advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone.

I am now displaying flu like symptoms. May be by coincidence but still it has me very worried. I've tried to approach the individual about it but they just blocked me.

I really don't know what to do. Haven't slept in days. Can anybody offer any advice? Has anyone had similar problems?"

Obvious one, go to a doctor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about people taking resposibility for themselves?

If you are sexually active the chances are you will have had sex with someone with hiv...If you are practising safer sex then it makes no difference...Ax

That last sentence actually stunned me

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently the uk test can give you 90/95% accurate result after 4 weeks "

Just go a gum clinic, why wait, most are drop in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments. "

You won't have ruined your life, and you are very, very unlikely to have HIV. Things spiral in your mind when you don't have anyone to talk to about them. Go get yourself tested and don't let it get out of proportion in your head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you fucking men if you are married? I pity your wife. As almost everyone else has said get tested then ask yourself if once you get the all clear you won't be tempted to cheat again and put your wife in danger of catching something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments. "

And you've still not mentioned about telling your wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow some serious hate on here....Chill out people, yes he's a cheat boo hiss but get over it so are most of the single guys on here anyway but at least it was safe sex. From what we've read there is little chance you've picked up Hiv but still get tested just in case. The advice I'd give you from your posts seems like you have a conscience, let this be a lesson to you in case in the future things go horribly wrong. Certainly dont think swinging is for you

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments.

This

You always seem to be able to say in a few what I'm often trying to say in many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm you do know the GUM Clinic will want all of your recent sexual parnters details to inform them if you have contracted ANYTHING, this will include your wife!!!"

Never been asked that ever..

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments. "

Good luck.

Sure you'll be fine, but if you do continue on the scene, please get checked regularly. People often assume if you use condoms, you'll not catch anything, but don't forget theyare not 100% safe.

Take care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really do appreciate the advice and reassurance from everybody. Wether it's been delivered in a nice or a hateful manner it has helped me.

I didn't write this for attention just worried and have nobody close to talk to.

I am speaking to a HIV councillor later today. I WONT be engaging in any inter course until cleared. And I do not blame anyone other than myself.

Again thanks for your comments.

And you've still not mentioned about telling your wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If I'm not positive then I don't think I should turn her world upside down. Im a horrible person for what I've done and ill always have to live with that. I definitely will not be meeting anyone behind her back again. Sorry if my behaviour offended anyone, I acted on impulse without sparing thought for consequence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm you do know the GUM Clinic will want all of your recent sexual parnters details to inform them if you have contracted ANYTHING, this will include your wife!!!

Never been asked that ever.. "

Me either. Because it doesn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm not positive then I don't think I should turn her world upside down. Im a horrible person for what I've done and ill always have to live with that. I definitely will not be meeting anyone behind her back again. Sorry if my behaviour offended anyone, I acted on impulse without sparing thought for consequence "

You should still tell her you cheated though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should still tell her you cheated though"

Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should still tell her you cheated though"

you're obviously drawn to men. Are you sure it won't happen again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm you do know the GUM Clinic will want all of your recent sexual parnters details to inform them if you have contracted ANYTHING, this will include your wife!!!"

I have been going for years to the GUM clinic and they have never asked to contact anyone. They have however asked me to do it; which is very reasonable.

What you suggest will turn people off going to the GUM clinic for fear their sexual partners will be harassed by the NHS. Not a helpful comment I would suggest.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If you are sexually active the chances are you will have had sex with someone with hiv"

I think that is the biggest crock of shit that I have ever read on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you really think you should be on here still if you have said you won't cheat on her again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do not find men attractive. It was a tvts. I did not enjoy it and actually felt sick during the act. It extinguished any curiosity I thought I may have had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm you do know the GUM Clinic will want all of your recent sexual parnters details to inform them if you have contracted ANYTHING, this will include your wife!!!

I have been going for years to the GUM clinic and they have never asked to contact anyone. They have however asked me to do it; which is very reasonable.

What you suggest will turn people off going to the GUM clinic for fear their sexual partners will be harassed by the NHS. Not a helpful comment I would suggest. "

I believe some clinics offer to contact previous partners anonymously on your behalf if you've got something, and if you want them to, but that's a completely different thing. I agree, that's a really unhelpful comment when more people should be encouraged to go to clinics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone.

I am now displaying flu like symptoms. May be by coincidence but still it has me very worried. I've tried to approach the individual about it but they just blocked me.

I really don't know what to do. Haven't slept in days. Can anybody offer any advice? Has anyone had similar problems?"

It takes several months for HIV to manifest itself within the blood. It takes a longer time still for you to get symptoms.

There is alot of seasonal flu going round right now - I've had it for a month almost myself.

Phone your GUM clinic, go for a test. Then go again in another three months. Then three months after that. You should be doing that anyway. Also tell them that you have sex with men so that they give you your Hep B jab - it's the responsible thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm definitely going to get tested but I can't for at least another 2-3 weeks. I'm also married with kids so I don't know whether anxiety is bringing out the symptoms. The individual concerned has worried me by choosing to block rather than respond. "

You also need to tell your wife and get her tested on the same schedule as you. You HAVE to do this for her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm in here to talk to people with experience in what I'm going through. If I'm tested as positive I need to let the person concerned know.

Also I think this thread will be useful to others who are Afraid to ask due to the hate messages on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should still tell her you cheated though

Why?"

How else would he explain how he got HIV if he did have it?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If you are getting hate messages then report them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in here to talk to people with experience in what I'm going through. If I'm tested as positive I need to let the person concerned know.

Also I think this thread will be useful to others who are Afraid to ask due to the hate messages on here. "

You mean the people concerned, the guy you slept with and your wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do not find men attractive. It was a tvts. I did not enjoy it and actually felt sick during the act. It extinguished any curiosity I thought I may have had."

Oh ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in here to talk to people with experience in what I'm going through. If I'm tested as positive I need to let the person concerned know.

Also I think this thread will be useful to others who are Afraid to ask due to the hate messages on here.

You mean the people concerned, the guy you slept with and your wife"

No hate from me just pity for your wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No hate from me just pity for your wife."

And kid. Because HIV doesn't always get caught straight away in testing. And it can be transferred through cuts before it's caught.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for your kind and calming words. I think the worry is ruining me. I used protection and I did see the condom 20/30 secs before I pulled out and lost it. Statistics are on my side but worry and guilt have got me thinking the worst case. Which is obviously still possible. "

Yes -it's possible - but not probable! You're clearly under a massive amount of stress through both guilt and worry! I'd say, therefore, that unless you join fab as a couple with your wife, then swinging isn't for you! As has been implied before - I think it's more likely that the guy blocked you because you 'pestered' him than because he has a 'guilty secret'. If he's gay or fully bi in this community then it's fair to assume that he takes all reasonable precautions to assure his (and therefore your) sexual health!

Good luck op! X

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By *orthLincsIronCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Have you had unprotected sexual contact with your wife in the 2 weeks since you had anal sex with a man? Get to a clinic and fingers crossed that all concerned parties are clear

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"Hi everyone.

I am now displaying flu like symptoms. May be by coincidence but still it has me very worried. I've tried to approach the individual about it but they just blocked me.

I really don't know what to do. Haven't slept in days. Can anybody offer any advice? Has anyone had similar problems?"

It takes at least 3 months for HIV / HEP C to incubate so it not either of these but get a check up straight away to make sure, i think its just a cold.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

You also need to tell your wife and get her tested on the same schedule as you. You HAVE to do this for her."

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can people please let others ask for advice about something serious as this without derailing it so people can turn on married men again as it puts people off from posting when every thread turns to "married cheating scum"

To the people who gave good advice I am sure the OP appreciates it.

To the OP....I hope you feel a bit better now with the good advice you have had, good luck at the clinic.

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