FabSwingers.com forum: Is it rude to ask how big a woman is?

By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

We've recently been sent a message by a couple who seem keen to meet us, on paper they seem to meet our requirements. The only possible objection for want of a better word is the ladies size. Neither of us are slim & much prefer cuddly or similar size people to us, however we have lower & upper size body types that we both prefer.

On the profile the lady is listed as large, they have sent us a picture of them both but from her photo it's impossible to tell if she's too big for us. Is it rude to ask how large is large, or even what size she is, obviously don't want to upset but without asking how are we going to know unless we meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be upfront and ask nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've recently been sent a message by a couple who seem keen to meet us, on paper they seem to meet our requirements. The only possible objection for want of a better word is the ladies size. Neither of us are slim & much prefer cuddly or similar size people to us, however we have lower & upper size body types that we both prefer.

Ask her if it's ok to ask her size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is actually quite a tough one,

I must say though, I've been asked a few times what size I am, and it actually makes me feel better being able to lay all the cards on the table.

It's this dreaded sense of worrying that your size isn't going to be what the other person expected and you may get rejected or judged based on this. Don't like to false advertise basically!!!

Other ladies may not feel the same way as I do on the subject though. They may be insulted by it.

I'd personally ask.. Fuck it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her if it's ok to ask her size."

if you're going to want to be comfortable enough to play, you should be comfortable to ask....as larger woaman i wouldnt be offended to be asked...rather be asked than have someone run for the hills when they saw me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh but for the love of god, please don't ask how 'big' she is!

Compliment her at the same time as you very politely and causally ask....

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

This is where one the many hypocrisies of fab comes into play. It is fine for many to ask, judge, and reject a man based on the size of his cock but is it okay to ask a woman what dress size she is and base your decision on her answer?

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

So a polite are you size 20 for example is not the right thing to do, for all they know she could be too small for us they don't know our preferences? We could lie & say we only play with ladies over a certain size but if it turns out she is over that we'd have to find another excuse to reject them!!

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

For u its a make or break for a meet for depending on her size so yes ask. Its a preference. I tell ppl me dress size and bust size which is fine and real. Lol my weight on the other hand no 1 knows lol

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

Ultimately we're all entitled to our prefences & in the real world or when swinging people choose who they play with based on this. Just wish her picture was clearer then we wouldn't have this dilemma.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/15 00:57:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be just to politely ask her dress size and not spin any webs that can trap you.

Just tell her that you want to paint a picture in your head of what she looks like.

If she isn't the right size for you, just again, be polite and tell them that they're not for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's rude. I don't show body pics but when asked I tell them I'm a size 18/20,whichever I am at the time. I've been told sorry too big. I don't cry about it. I have an upper size limit myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

"Oh but for the love of god, please don't ask how 'big' she is!

Compliment her at the same time as you very politely and causally ask....

But would it be ok to ask how small she is lol?!!

For heavens sake it's high time Fab changed the body size options, how about skinny, petite, or bbw, the ones at the moment are so ambiguous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it."

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

You talk sense and I like it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say just ask. My gf is a big lass and a few people ask how big she is and ask for dress size. We don't get offended at that and neither should anyone on a site like this. Surely it would be more rude not to ask and then get there and not want to fuck them cos of how big they are. Everyone lines different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ask if they get offended over that , there clearly not worth the meet ! Rite ?

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

If the balls on the other foot we'd have no problems answering folks queries, we've never been asked the same question probably cus we've given peeps a good idea what size we are from our photo's.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

My dress size on my profile plus I have a deliberately less than flattering realistic full body nude pic in private gallery. Would rather know if I'm not for them before meeting. Rarely get turned down due to my size I think because they know already. Not that I'm everyone's cuppa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have full body shots purely cos I don't think they get me across in the best light!

If I'm going to meet someone I usually will only meet for a social first, perhaps you guys could suggest this?

I don't get any negativity in what you are saying just that perhaps you want to know a bit more about who you are meeting!

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By *elkel1979Woman
over a year ago

Cumbria

For me personally i would not be offended if i was asked my dress size. This would give me more confidence in the guy asking as that would come across as he has preferences and not that desperate that he would just fuck anybody. I think most people if they are confident and happy with their size surely would not be offended.

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

"So a polite are you size 20 for example is not the right thing to do, for all they know she could be too small for us they don't know our preferences? We could lie & say we only play with ladies over a certain size but if it turns out she is over that we'd have to find another excuse to reject them!!"

Tell her you've just remembered you've given up sex for Lent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

Exactly this yeah. Everyone has body types they find appealing, if someone loves your body type then they really will love it.

I know people go on about the 'any holes a goal' guys but most guys really do appreciate ladies as they are, they have their favourite things about people (as do us girls) but i doubt most people would fuck anything if they didn't find it attractive.

We have been manipulated though to look for flaws in our physical appearance and fix them so it's to be expected that many people do have hangups.

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By *ovinglife5000Woman
over a year ago

London

Perfectly acceptable to ask and its unacceptable for someone to be offended by this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

Exactly this yeah. Everyone has body types they find appealing, if someone loves your body type then they really will love it.

We have been manipulated though to look for flaws in our physical appearance and fix them so it's to be expected that many people do have hangups."

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

"My dress size on my profile plus I have a deliberately less than flattering realistic full body nude pic in private gallery. Would rather know if I'm not for them before meeting. Rarely get turned down due to my size I think because they know already. Not that I'm everyone's cuppa"

If only her photo was as good as yours we'd know exactly what we were getting & how nice to see a dress size in a profile. Now without giving our preferences away you look lovely & with all the curves in the right places why could you not have messaged us!! You are too far away though so probably just as well you didn't, at least we're halfway there already with these as they are local. I'm not frightened to ask & can handle the risk of offence, we're not actively seeking new friends but she's pretty so has caught our eye, just want advice on the best way to show our diplomacy card.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all...I like to know if I need to bring a box to stand on to kiss her, or if I'll have to bend down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chances are you're either going to offend or not! One of those suck it and see things...

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

If anyone asked me for my size

I'd probably reply

Why

Are you going to buy me something lovely to wear

Followed by

Mind your own bleeding business

That's just my opinion

Other opinions are freely available

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

"If anyone asked me for my size

I'd probably reply

Why

Are you going to buy me something lovely to wear

Followed by

Mind your own bleeding business

That's just my opinion

Other opinions are freely available "

We're all entitled to our prefences & I could hazard a guess what size you are from your pictures so have no need to ask you, but what's the big deal if somebody did?

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

"If anyone asked me for my size

I'd probably reply

Why

Are you going to buy me something lovely to wear

Followed by

Mind your own bleeding business

That's just my opinion

Other opinions are freely available

We're all entitled to our prefences & I could hazard a guess what size you are from your pictures so have no need to ask you, but what's the big deal if somebody did? "

A If you can guess, you'd not need to ask

B it's actually stated on my profile

C I'm guessing from your original message that you'd use the information to refuse a meet with someone regardless of the fact that you clearly like them

And that's quite sad really I think

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

[Removed by poster at 11/03/15 04:48:04]

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

when you say big do you mean how many cocks she can take at once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op ...what size are you .?...I'm asking because you've put curvy and although you have some clear full body pics you've not mentioned your size; so it still leaveseme, for one guessing. ..and I would guess at size 18?...but you could be size 20 or size 16 ...

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I have never been asked my size but I do have quite a few full length and not overly flattering pictures so everyone can see (fat rolls included) just what I look like.....same for my OH so people can see him, his buffness and muscles

I don't think it would be rude to ask for a full body shot.........

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

I dont think it is rude to ask. You need to be aware of as much info as possible before playing.

Personally we always like to meet for a drink first and wont play unless there is compatibility, both physical and mentally on all sides. But if there is we will play on a first meet which has always happened as we like tto be as sue as we can be before meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/15 06:33:17]

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By *BW100Couple
over a year ago

Suffolk/Norfolk border

I've not looked at your profile but you say you ask for a certain type/size, start by asking if they have read your profile & go from there, explain your likes & dislikes & then get into size preference.

I always check with guys to make sure they like the larger lady & I have details on our profile but at two meets now it's been clear the guys only wanted to see my boobs so now go into detail with questions, it's a self preservation thing. Be honest & ask x

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

If you like what you see and she caught your eye because she's pretty, why not just meet up for a quick social.

Far better than going on just a dress size as women carry weight differently. One size something can look completely different to another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask for more pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the least offensive things to do are ask for further photos of her as it's important all parties are attracted to each other and offer to provide more of yourselves?

And/or ask for a social meet before deciding whether to play.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

You are obviously bothered about her size so it would be best on this occasion to make your excuses and move on rather than upset her.

The last thing you want to do is ask her size...swinging suicide lol.

Me and Kim meet people all ages/sizes as its their personalities that make them sexy but if you have size limits avoid any that are too big or could be too big.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

A good friend of mine told me that he isn't into "fat chicks". I asked him what is a "fat chick"; he told me that I was one

It is all relative. Ask for UK, US and European dress sizes, just to be on the safe side

Seriously, just state your preferences to them and see if they write back. If they do, then it is because they meet your criteria

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is precisely the reason I put my dress size on my profile. The only thing I don't show is my stomach because I hate it. I do tell meets about it and usually keep it covered anyway. 3 surgery scars and wobbly overhang. Yuck.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If the couple use the forums they will either contact you telling you the ladies size or decide that you aren't for them.

I think this thread is more likely to be considered rude than asking to clarify her size privately

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I think the least offensive things to do are ask for further photos of her as it's important all parties are attracted to each other and offer to provide more of yourselves?

And/or ask for a social meet before deciding whether to play."

I'd go down this road. Then she won't be offended, and if you don't fancy her you can get out of it easily enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask for more revealing photos, or have a social first. If you think she's pretty, does it matter if she's slightly bigger or smaller than your ideal? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh but for the love of god, please don't ask how 'big' she is!

Compliment her at the same time as you very politely and causally ask....

Yes I'd say it's probably in how you ask the question. But then size in itself can be a bit meaningless, I'm an 18 but have been told it's ok because I'm the 'right' kind of big, whatever that means.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh but for the love of god, please don't ask how 'big' she is!

Compliment her at the same time as you very politely and causally ask....

Yes I'd say it's probably in how you ask the question. But then size in itself can be a bit meaningless, I'm an 18 but have been told it's ok because I'm the 'right' kind of big, whatever that means. "

Lol I'm a 12 and get contact from people asking for BBW only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a fair question to ask anybody as long as it is asked in a respectful way. I have been asked many times and haven't ever felt offended, you need to know whether you will find this person attractive or not as attraction plays a huge part! Go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never ask to see pics. We take the view that anyone serious and considerate will voluntarily show appropriate photos. If they don't, it goes no further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No its your choice ask away.

Im a big girl and always say to people. Everyone has their preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone asked me my size, I wouldn't want to play with them anymore. Even if I was already keen.

You take that risk.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

Instead of steaming in there... Why dont you meet for a social drink first. That way you can find out without possibly offending.

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By *ardbellyCouple
over a year ago

Alicante

2 years ago we had a party..invited some newbies..two days before the party the lady who was a curvy voluptuous type asked if she could bring a lady friend instead of her hubby..I said ok ..can I ask what's she like ,tall /short /slim etc ?

I got lots of abuse calling me shallow etc..

You can't win whatever you say ? But just tell the truth and how you feel ? Be nice though..good luck x

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

By starting a thread on here as opposed to speaking to the lady in question directly I would say you have been very rude. She might not have minded you asking but I'm sure she'd mind having the forum debating the ins and outs of it all.

If you find someone attractive does it matter if they are a size in either direction of what you think they are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps do a social meet? See her face to face - sometimes her personality will outweigh her size - as it were haha, thats what we would do

at least that way you can make a proper decision having seen her

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By *infulsarah67300Woman
over a year ago

weston super mare

I don't mind being asked my size. I always turn round and say if you want a stick insect don't look at me!!!! I'm a size 18/20 with bbt!!!!!! ( boobs, bum and tum) then it's up to them!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just ask them for a body shot pic

No need to ask them

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"By starting a thread on here as opposed to speaking to the lady in question directly I would say you have been very rude. She might not have minded you asking but I'm sure she'd mind having the forum debating the ins and outs of it all.

If you find someone attractive does it matter if they are a size in either direction of what you think they are?"

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

We found it a little rude at first but later decided to put it into our profile as some people want the bigger picture, for want of a phrase, lol. I'd say ask, as politely as possible though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We chose to put my size in our profile from early on, we all know that photos can show or hide a multitude of things so we wanted to avoid awkward questions. When I felt more confident full body pics and tummy pics went on our profile.

In all honesty I only think dress size gives you a small idea, you won't know if you're attracted to someone physically unless you have a social meet. You're obviously getting on well in other aspects, so if you have a social meet and nothing else, at least you've come away with a friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usualy think that if they ask me about my size then they aren't worth bothering with, iv put on a stone since a few of my older pics were taken but the last few men I met didn't seem bothered and said I looked nice.

I can understand why some people don't want to meet others who are overweight though.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

try and ask them in a round about way ie

can you touch your toes or can you see your feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took my full length body pic off because men were wrongly guessing at a 14/16. Either they don't have a clue about dress sizes or my mirror makes me look thinner than the 18/20 it is. I put on weight very easily too,just after Christmas I was a loose 18. Being incapacitated for a couple of months I'm now a tight 20. Ask,and you will find out how people react,then go from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you find someone attractive does it matter if they are a size in either direction of what you think they are?"

For me yes

I can find someones face attractive but not their body

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

Wow what a difference of opinion. We're not here to play with everybody on Fab & yes we like the social side as much, so why should we be criticised for having sizest preferences? Some people don't like black people, hairy people etc etc so if we're going to spend our precious time organising a meet why are we not allowed to be fussy? After all we have a great sex life & swinging is just an added extra when time permits.

Will send a carefully worded message, it's very early stages they haven't seen our mugshots so it might all fall flat. Some people only like big people would the smaller people say we had a problem in not wanting to meet them I'm not so sure, it's called choice!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its rude to want to know, I have asked men before if their pictures were recent ones. if their verifications were from all skinny people then it is more likely to be important to them what size you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is where one the many hypocrisies of fab comes into play. It is fine for many to ask, judge, and reject a man based on the size of his cock but is it okay to ask a woman what dress size she is and base your decision on her answer?"

i never ask about cock sizes

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

i never ask about cock sizes"

I said "many", not all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never ask about cock sizes

I said "many", not all

being honest if they have a cock photo on cool

if they dont they dont. long as they are trimmed and its not bushy ill be happy. its not the size its what u do with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't get offended by much. I don't see the problem in wanting to know the size of the person you are potentially going to meet. I think if the pictures that I had seen weren't all that clear, I would ask if they had a clear recent pic rather than asking what size. There is nothing wrong with having to find the person you are meeting attractive.....I don't want to meet a guy with a huge beer gut, so why shouldn't a guy be a bit picky?

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

i never ask about cock sizes

I said "many", not all

being honest if they have a cock photo on cool

if they dont they dont. long as they are trimmed and its not bushy ill be happy. its not the size its what u do with it

What about plaited?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never ask about cock sizes

I said "many", not all

being honest if they have a cock photo on cool

if they dont they dont. long as they are trimmed and its not bushy ill be happy. its not the size its what u do with it

What about plaited?"

not for me unless you dont want it sucked

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I wouldnt be offended to be asked my size i respect the fact im not for everyone being a size 18/20, having said that when meeting i have a good range of public pics showing my body as is amd i clearly state my size on my profile too so there should be no reason for me to be asked for it. I represent myself that way so people have the relevent info to make an informed decision based on their preferences if im worth taking an interest in

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"To be honest I don't get offended by much. I don't see the problem in wanting to know the size of the person you are potentially going to meet. I think if the pictures that I had seen weren't all that clear, I would ask if they had a clear recent pic rather than asking what size. There is nothing wrong with having to find the person you are meeting attractive.....I don't want to meet a guy with a huge beer gut, so why shouldn't a guy be a bit picky?"

Oh Scarlet, don't you know you're wrong to take physical attraction into account? That it should all be about the meeting of minds, common interests and how lovely a personality the other person has?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about plaited?"

I'd be impressed if you could plait it....I'd meet you just to see that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Scarlet, don't you know you're wrong to take physical attraction into account? That it should all be about the meeting of minds, common interests and how lovely a personality the other person has?"

bollocks!!!! That is where I have been going wrong all these years.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask away, in a polite manner....I'm a "bigger girl" and I always make it quite clear...that there is junk in my trunk and I'm all about the base baby! On the reverse I am not attracted to slim/athletic men....or short...life is about choices and preferences. . x Just be courteous and polite ....and enjoy! x

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Sorry, Jacs, you're out. Scarlet accepts me, plaits n all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, Jacs, you're out. Scarlet accepts me, plaits n all."

.......is it a step to far to ask about dying it too???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got large as my shape on profile. I'm a 18/20, I did have it in my profile but send pics where you can see my body size. I've never been asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet for a social. Then you can make a proper decision. Clothes sizes are useless in my opinion. You could be a 16, firm and toned, a 12 and flabby, it's all relative. More so with women than men I think. Some women are different on top to bottom, different sizes in different shops etc...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Sorry, Jacs, you're out. Scarlet accepts me, plaits n all.

.......is it a step to far to ask about dying it too???

Where's Jacs gone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always do a NSA social first. Granted we are pickier than many people, but in reality her body may be great but one of them may drool when they talk, or have bad body odour or laugh like a donkey.

If you are short on time though and tend to play on a first meet, then yes you should ask (dimplomatically), so that it isn't awkward if you just can't bring yourself to get naked with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I'd say you are a size 16. ..]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course you should, because everyone seems to mislead by the Athletic tag. Sumo wrestlers are athletes!

A lot of couples/women and single guys have a preference. Why don't you put on your profile no ladies over dress size ?? Even no guys with beer bellies or waist size?? (Follow with you may think us shallow, but it's our preference. It's the same for race and height)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I'd say you are a size 16. ..]"

I'd guess 14 on top, 16 on bottom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture."

I was just about to say the same thing these tricks and camera angles dont give a true representation of the person as is. Than a full frontal naked show would

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

Your pics are clear but they don't fully reflect your body type. Only a full length one would do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ultimately we're all entitled to our prefences & in the real world or when swinging people choose who they play with based on this. Just wish her picture was clearer then we wouldn't have this dilemma. "

Dress sizes don't really mean much, depends on height. I prefer to meet for a coffee first so people can see me and make a decision that way. I've been told I look different to my pics... bigger and smaller... different perceptions.

So my suggestion would be to meet for a drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same here, I put my size on my profile because at the end of the day, what people are mainly looking for is physical attraction. I wouldn't want to sleep with anybody unless I felt they genuinely found me attractive. Rather than ask her size I'd suggest asking for some full length body pics. Better to find out now than at a later date when you'll feel obliged to continue. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

You talk sense and I like it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very Interesting replies....

I'm smaller than all of those replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Balls, just seen they haven't shown you proper body pics. I'd say she's trying to hide it then?

Doubt she'll be comfortable being asked any questions about her size if she is hiding it.

Lord knows how awkward she'd be naked then....

it's a shame that people can't just accept themselves and embrace it.

You talk sense and I like it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not rude but most women do not like being asked what size they are and most will drop a size or two if you do ask or put stuff like I'm a 18/20 when really they're just a 20

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very Interesting replies....

I'm smaller than all of those replies "

Exactly my point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very Interesting replies....

I'm smaller than all of those replies

Exactly my point

and the point of my little test

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Firstly if size is a deal breaker for you then surely easier to have your preference on your profile?

That way saves any hassles ,guessing and time wasting on both sides .

I personally don't feel asking dress size rude but starting a thread about another person is .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course you should, because everyone seems to mislead by the Athletic tag. Sumo wrestlers are athletes!

that's a better idea, no ladies over a certain dress size and no guys with beer bellies.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Firstly if size is a deal breaker for you then surely easier to have your preference on your profile?

That way saves any hassles ,guessing and time wasting on both sides .

I personally don't feel asking dress size rude but starting a thread about another person is .

Wouldn't work for me as it's the distribution that's all important.

As an example, there are many size 20s I wouldn't contemplate but quite a few I would.

And guessing would be eliminated if people had truly representative pics up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a good reason why you can't tell from the pics you were sent .

Leave it and find a more suitable lady .

Not only would the meet be uncomfortable for you , but for her too so what's the point of putting you all through that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture."

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale? "

Wait, screw that, you meant facing the camera.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale? "

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking (and would consider it rude), nor would I wish to. But, I don't objectify people on 'dress size' and such like.

Would a social meet clear everything up without the need for any (potentially) embarrassing questions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

A 'sliding head' scale?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Wait, screw that, you meant facing the camera. "

Yeah... I meant face-on to the camera

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Well I do often make my hair massive to make the rest of me look smaller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its usually "how big does that get" I get asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Wait, screw that, you meant facing the camera.

Yeah... I meant face-on to the camera

I know, I'm an idiot, I realised about a minute after posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Well I do often make my hair massive to make the rest of me look smaller

Big hair big bag

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Oh .... so shes pretty .... does that make a difference ?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be better all round if the size was dress size for women and weight size for men

After all interprutation as to small average cuddley or large is in the eye of the beholder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Well I do often make my hair massive to make the rest of me look smaller

Big hair big bag

The Cheryl Cole theory of relativity. Although her hair's not that big at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How "curvy" is rascal?

Did you find that rude?

If not...then just ask away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not rude but most women do not like being asked what size they are and most will drop a size or two if you do ask or put stuff like I'm a 18/20 when really they're just a 20

I can fluctuate from month to month but never go above or below 18-20. I wear both sizes,sometimes the 18 is a bit loose,sometimes the 20 fits ok,it does depend on the shop they come from too. For most of the year I'm usually an 18

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not rude but most women do not like being asked what size they are and most will drop a size or two if you do ask or put stuff like I'm a 18/20 when really they're just a 20

I've got clothes ranging from 12 to 20, maybe I should use that as the descriptor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all, most females above a size 12 to me are not females I would care to have a relationship with and definately not have sex with, large females simply turn me off big style, best to find that out before meet rather than vomit when having sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just a fuck, no big deal lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

its fine to have preferences but not fine to be rude. Why on earth would you go ahead and have sex with someone you didn't find attractive anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gutted, I'm fat AND under 32.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you vomint while having sex surely if you met a woman who was to fat for you surely you would tell her not shag her anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gutted, I'm fat AND under 32. "

Stop showing off about your age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Oh good Lord, I think I have a massive face and head so I always make Hubby lean forward in photos to compensate! LOLOLOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gutted, I'm fat AND under 32.

Stop showing off about your age

I'm fat and under 30

certainly not gutted though haha

To basically save this argument I have my dress and bra size on our profile. If someone doesn't know how big I am before a meet and run for the hills, they didnt read our profile properly anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Oh good Lord, I think I have a massive face and head so I always make Hubby lean forward in photos to compensate! LOLOLOL"

Hahaha I do too, my face looks ginormous next to some people

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm over fifty and average I might as well get my coat now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got clear body pics - what size do you reckon I am?

I would argue that they aren't all that clear....you have used them well ...I recognise the tricks as I do it too

For me a clear body pic is standing face showing entire body. That is a truer picture.

What's face showing got to do with how clear a body pic is? Or is it size of head, for an idea of scale?

Crying laughing at the head scale hahaha maybe this should be the new sky remote

pmsl

Oh good Lord, I think I have a massive face and head so I always make Hubby lean forward in photos to compensate! LOLOLOL

Hahaha I do too, my face looks ginormous next to some people "
me too!

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm over fifty and average I might as well get my coat now

You're what he wants, you've pulled!

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By *ubyExpreeWoman
over a year ago

BBBW Heaven

"This is actually quite a tough one,

I must say though, I've been asked a few times what size I am, and it actually makes me feel better being able to lay all the cards on the table.

It's this dreaded sense of worrying that your size isn't going to be what the other person expected and you may get rejected or judged based on this. Don't like to false advertise basically!!!

Other ladies may not feel the same way as I do on the subject though. They may be insulted by it.

I'd personally ask.. Fuck it."

I think being a bbw is a plus on thus site. I have had issues with not being big enough

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

"Oh .... so shes pretty .... does that make a difference ?????

Yes it does for us, I know beauty is skin deep & you may call us shallow but if we aren't attracted to him or her it ain't going to happen & why should it? If she wasn't pretty it would be an easy decision we'd just say thanks but no thanks. Maybe other people have different criteria but for our meets we both have to have physical attraction towards the F & Rascal must like M&F as this is more about her exploring her bi-side. Yes Rascal is curvy but think it's quite clear what she's like from our pics but wouldn't be offended if we were asked. Yes size is just a number & a 6ft tall size 18 woman carries her weight differently to some one who's 5ft hence we don't put an upper or lower limit on our profile, Rascal also goes from size 14-18 depending on what shop she's in so until clothes manufacturers standardise their sizes it's meaningless. A decent picture is much more relevant providing it's recent. We'd love to meet socially everybody who messaged winked or sent us pictures but haven't got the time.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Op ...what size are you .?...I'm asking because you've put curvy and although you have some clear full body pics you've not mentioned your size; so it still leaveseme, for one guessing. ..and I would guess at size 18?...but you could be size 20 or size 16 ..."

See I was going to ask this - then spotted it had already been asked - then trawled through the rest of the thread to see if there'd been a response from the OP.

And it hasn't.

So OP - if you say it's time the site adopted more clear definitions and descriptions of 'size' - a simple answer is to give a clear description in your profile text. I wouldn't want to guess anyone's size from a picture - but then I've never been worried particularly about size.

If you are - have you mentioned it to them at all. Would you ask everyone you swap messages with, or just those you think might be larger than their pics portray? If asked yourself how would you respond?

At the end of the day everyone has their preferences. There's nothing wrong with that. But not asking won't get you an answer. Asking might not either - but it's better than arranging a meet and then having to find an excuse.

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By *edscpl33Couple
over a year ago

luton

"If you like what you see and she caught your eye because she's pretty, why not just meet up for a quick social.

Far better than going on just a dress size as women carry weight differently. One size something can look completely different to another.

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Oh but for the love of god, please don't ask how 'big' she is!

Compliment her at the same time as you very politely and causally ask....

Size 18 - really, WOW!

All women are sexy, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. I must say your choice of sexy lingerie and camera angles must be deceiving!!

An underhand compliment lol

One sexy minx, not just physically but mentally too - comes as a package! Just like a man - noted the 'sky remote' analogy!!

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Get your coat - you've pulled!

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By *ralpleaseMan
over a year ago

El Campello, Alicante

No not at all. We all have our preferences and if you turned up for a meet and the females is to large it would be a waste of everyones time. Therefore yes you should ask

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

What a load of nonsense. Ofcourse dress size does matter a lot

A large woman trying to squeeze into a size 12 PVC skirt will split it. And if she doesn't right there and then, will end up looking like an overdone sausage

How on Earth can the same person fit perfectly in a size 12 and also perfectly into a size 18? That is impossible; either the size 18 will look like a sack or the size 12 will burst at the seams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of nonsense. Ofcourse dress size does matter a lot

A large woman trying to squeeze into a size 12 PVC skirt will split it. And if she doesn't right there and then, will end up looking like an overdone sausage

How on Earth can the same person fit perfectly in a size 12 and also perfectly into a size 18? That is impossible; either the size 18 will look like a sack or the size 12 will burst at the seams"

No word of a lie, I have a size 12 dress in my wardrobe. Granted it's a stretchy fabric, but it fits. Then I've got size 20 trousers that are really fucking tight. Different shops, different types of items, different levels of vanity sizing. Obviously those are the extremes and I'm generally an 18, but it isn't nonsense at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course its not rude, youre on here to fuck the woman and what she she looks like is going to dictate that. Do whatever u have to do to determine if shes for you or not. Its a no brainer of a question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of nonsense. Ofcourse dress size does matter a lot

A large woman trying to squeeze into a size 12 PVC skirt will split it. And if she doesn't right there and then, will end up looking like an overdone sausage

How on Earth can the same person fit perfectly in a size 12 and also perfectly into a size 18? That is impossible; either the size 18 will look like a sack or the size 12 will burst at the seams

This is true. I have size 14 jeans that are hardly worn but too baggy around the middle somehow. I couldn't get my size 16 skirt off last night coz it was so tight i couldn't unfasten the zip.

I can fit into size 10 lycra stuff coz it stretches. I'm usually a szie 14, have gone up to a 16 some days and maybe bigger judging by last night.

My body (boobs and belly) changes size throughout the day as well, or over several days, depending on what i've eaten and how much i've pooped.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I agree about 'vanity sizing'. But unless the tape measures are 'vanity sizing' too, a 36" belly isn't going to fit into jeans which measure 28" around the waist; they'll have to stretch like a catapult and then some more

I have size 10 jeans from my younger days and there is no way on this planet that I could squeeze into those now. And I am a size 12, although that is probably 'vanity sizing'; I think I must be a size 14 but I fit into what the labels describe as size 12. But 'vanity sizing' or not, no matter where I buy my clothes from, these are now size 12

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree about 'vanity sizing'. But unless the tape measures are 'vanity sizing' too, a 36" belly isn't going to fit into jeans which measure 28" around the waist; they'll have to stretch like a catapult and then some more

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I am not suggesting that you are making it up. Just saying that my experience is very different. My size remains consistent throughout, not just across stores, but across countries

Most of what I purchase here is from NEXT and M&S where I am a size 12; and in German stores, I am a size 40

If stores in this country vary so much in their sizing then aren't they breaking regulations?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you must shop in a more consistently sized range of shops than me then. E.g. a H&M size 18 is in no way the same size as a Dorothy Perkins size 18. Obviously the tape measure is the same in every situation, but the jeans don't measure the same on that tape measure. I'd rather it was all the same size and then I wouldn't have to try things on, why would I make it up?!! "
I have to agree with this. I often take a 12, 14 and 16 into the changing rooms to see which one is the right size. Sometimes a 16 is too small even and on the flip side I'm wearing a size 10 vest top atm and it fits perfectly yet look how much bigger than a ten I am. If one size consistently fits you then you are lucky. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is actually quite a tough one,

I must say though, I've been asked a few times what size I am, and it actually makes me feel better being able to lay all the cards on the table.

It's this dreaded sense of worrying that your size isn't going to be what the other person expected and you may get rejected or judged based on this. Don't like to false advertise basically!!!

Other ladies may not feel the same way as I do on the subject though. They may be insulted by it.

I'd personally ask.. Fuck it."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If stores in this country vary so much in their sizing then aren't they breaking regulations?"

No idea. It's very annoying though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

H&M sizing is bizzare...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the least offensive things to do are ask for further photos of her as it's important all parties are attracted to each other and offer to provide more of yourselves?

And/or ask for a social meet before deciding whether to play."

Play...what's play...?

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"What a load of nonsense. Ofcourse dress size does matter a lot

A large woman trying to squeeze into a size 12 PVC skirt will split it. And if she doesn't right there and then, will end up looking like an overdone sausage

How on Earth can the same person fit perfectly in a size 12 and also perfectly into a size 18? That is impossible; either the size 18 will look like a sack or the size 12 will burst at the seams"

Why do you want to share dresses lol, I thought this was a swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ask for more pictures"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If stores in this country vary so much in their sizing then aren't they breaking regulations?

No idea. It's very annoying though!"

No they aren't, because three are none for size. Clothes used to be tailored to individuals, now they are tailored to certain cuts that are decided on the style of the dress and what shape of customer they're hoping to sell to (might be the average shape of person or aesthetically pleasing).

It's just a label, and if their size guide shows that something is a size 18 and that is 48-36-52 on their guide and the clothes are those measurements too it's labelled correctly (idk actual sizes).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen couples/men's profiles actually stating that they are not interested in women over a certain dress size! This to me at least lets me know I may or may not be for them! I have my dress size on my profile that way there are hopefully no surprises when I meet

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

If stores in this country vary so much in their sizing then aren't they breaking regulations?

No idea. It's very annoying though!

It's just a label, and if their size guide shows that something is a size 18 and that is 48-36-52 on their guide and the clothes are those measurements too it's labelled correctly (idk actual sizes).

Yes, you are correct. I somehow assumed that because we have sizing regulation in Germany, there must be something similar in this country too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there is none here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask for a full length picture !!

I think it's only being honest I state clearly I'm a size 18 in my profile and have clear pictures and I totally expect the same from male or female

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Our profile states that I'm a size 18, and I don't have skinny thighs or a flat stomach.

This week we had a 'couple' reply to our message, saying we were too big for them. Then they asked if we were both there. When I replied we received a message asking if we were on kik or whatsapp.

Mr is on whatsapp and have his number. Once they established they were talking to him and not me, they cut communication. Stinks of a single bloke to me.

If it was a genuine couple and if we were too large for them, why would they want to chat to me? Bizarre behaviour.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

[Removed by poster at 12/03/15 08:35:51]

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

Some people don't find overweight people attractive which is fine as long as they are polite about it.

I find it more of an issue of its a relationship site as it's more than just physical attraction then. But here people are here for sex and if you don't find the person attractive what's the point. I used to get offended by it but realised that I was being daft.

Hell I don't like short guys but that doesnt make me a bad person x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our profile states that I'm a size 18, and I don't have skinny thighs or a flat stomach.

This week we had a 'couple' reply to our message, saying we were too big for them. Then they asked if we were both there. When I replied we received a message asking if we were on kik or whatsapp.

Mr is on whatsapp and have his number. Once they established they were talking to him and not me, they cut communication. Stinks of a single bloke to me.

If it was a genuine couple and if we were too large for them, why would they want to chat to me? Bizarre behaviour. "

As soon as they said u was too big I would have cut commutation

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Yeah, I only answered because I was curious as to why they were asking

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