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Thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is bizarre. Attraction is definitely required.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some seem to think they can change your mind, very odd but then nothing as strange as folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish those we send a polite "thanks but no thanks" to would block us, most of the time it is because we don't meet thier criteria, because I am too old, because they "wont meet smokers" or because Sasha is too young, yet they still contact us and when we point out we are smokers or that I am 20 years over thier maximum age limit they argue with us, "why on earth not" was the a recent reply to a decline to meet, often it is "we will make an exception", we are not a charity case and don't need it.

But blocking you is not always a personal thing, we block lots of people, perhaps they do it because they don't want to pester you again in the future, we get regular mails once a month from some couples who are either the type that pester or have forgotton they contacted us before, it would be better for us if they blocked us.

We block people who have been on here for more than a month but dont have pictures, because we arent going to meet them, we block people who are married and cheating because sometimes it dissapears from thier profiles, same with bareback people because that has a habit of dissapearing from profiles too and we block others too, it's not personal it is just people we dont want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good point Jed&Sasha, didn't really think about it like that. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it's not personal it is just people we dont want to meet."

Problem is, some do take it personally. Which is why the polite turn down can cause abuse.

I guess these people can't possible comprehend that they may not be attractive to the people they are writing to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we received a mail today telling us our profile was too long so he didn't bother reading it as he assumed any 'notes' would be for the stupid and wouldn't apply to him as he was supremely intelligent. i suppose he'll now wonder why he got a negative response and his next mail won't be so 'intelligent'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

You should see the blocking as a positive. As Jed and Sasha point out, once you've been blocked there's no more contact - intentionally or otherwise - from people whose attentions you've declined.

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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Ohhhh this is the very reason I dont reply unless I am interested in either finding out more or meeting. I also instabtly block those that don't fit my criteria..... my profile is short and sweet, no excuse for not understanding what I am looking for.

This doesnt stop some of them trying to contact me via other members while I am in the chatroom, only to ask why have i blocked them.........again I dont see what their point is.

I say keep doing what works for you.

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By *ig bird brightWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

when i,ve had a messages from people and i,ve said no thanks to i always block them so they don,t waste there time contacting me again and saves all the messages back saying why whats wrong with me etc. I just find it easier to do this and cuts down on abuse too. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some seem to think they can change your mind, very odd but then nothing as strange as folk"

i get this so much, i only block when i really really have to, its getting to the stage i just dont reply now if they havent read my profile nor there profile isnt good

i always check profiles before replying unless its a forumer

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I try (when I remember) to block people who have 'turned me down' - so I don't accidentally try to contact them again in a while. If the profile atracted me in the first place - it probably would do again.

And I love the "thanks but no thanks" replies. So refreshing. Disappointing, but refreshing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I try (when I remember) to block people who have 'turned me down' - so I don't accidentally try to contact them again in a while. If the profile atracted me in the first place - it probably would do again.

And I love the "thanks but no thanks" replies. So refreshing. Disappointing, but refreshing."

same here. It doesn't take much to type "no thx" does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but you get abuse sometimes or the question why would come back

i prefer not to block unless i really have to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"but you get abuse sometimes or the question why would come back

i prefer not to block unless i really have to"

I don't get that, surely these people have been rejected in person before, surely they don't get abusive then aswell? or do they and it's just me that takes rejection politely?

No thx is NO thx, just move-on with your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people think that any women is desperate for sex hence us being on her, so when you turn them down they get all arsey and start asking why as if it will make u change your mind

same as some pushy men they can be classed the same with the above but you say maybe when i know you more and the bombard you with messages, and just makes me feel they are desperate and are doing this to loads not just me

( observation only here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

update: just been blocked. wrote a friendly message, it was read, unanswered and now I've been blocked.

time for a pint I think!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply to all mail, although we have got the block on single guys at the moment

We usually agree to meet couples for a social chat and a beer, but don't always agree to play with them. We have rejected couples after the first meet, and we have been turned down too, thats life, and we just have to move on.

We wouldn't dream of sending an abusive mail or text after a rejection. That's just childish. Have to say though, we haven't had any abusive messages after we have rejected someone. Maybe it's the way you speak to people that dictates the response you get?

We've only got one person on our block list too, and that's only because he was being a little "over persistant" with his emails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

Yes your right, attraction is a must. now your getting offended coz someones blocked you. Why? Dont let it bother you. Im not sure how far the blocking option goes but think of it their way. They dont want to bump into you again and waste another message and time on someone whos not interested. Done.hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

If your not interested in meeting someone i dont suppose it matters if they block you does it?

I think lots of people block those who reject them to stop themselves messaging again a few months down the line

So many its not done in a huff but more out of consideration?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always feel a little disappointed when I get blocked having spent some time writing a polite introduction message, but I do know whey they do it and in the end there is no point in worrying about it.

I think it would be nice if there was a button that you could hit which sent a standard "thanks, but no thanks" mail as a reply. I know it's a bit of work, but it could also put a little icon up (like the "you winked at them 3 days ago" ones so that you would be able to see that somebody had rejected you or that you had rejected that person. That would save one of the earlier poster's problems of forgetting who he'd contacted already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes its not the profile or the photo its the message is a bit OTT or too eager that puts me off, but it doesn't make me want to block them for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we never go off pics alone, we like to meet ppl face to face and that way you tend to get a true reflection of what they are like, ie SOH and personality can count as much as looks. then go home and Block them only joking lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not unusual to get blocked after a polite decline, as it means the sender would avoid sending another message to the recipient as blocked peeps do not show up on their search allegedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is not unusual to get blocked after a polite decline, as it means the sender would avoid sending another message to the recipient as blocked peeps do not show up on their search allegedly. "

got no problem with that, as long as the polite decline has happened. Is anyone that busy that they don't have time to be polite?

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I generally don't send "no thanks" messages to those I am not interested in. After reading how it upsets lots of people I thought, ok, I'll send no thanks messages.

In the 3 days I did this, I received replies such as

"Well you're too fat anyway"

"Didn't want to anyway"

"Well fuck off then you fat minger"

"Don't know how someone like you can be so picky"

"I'll be the best fuck that you've ever had"

And many others. I now only reply if I'm interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"got no problem with that, as long as the polite decline has happened. Is anyone that busy that they don't have time to be polite?"

.

If the message is unsolicited, then one should not expect a reply, even thought one should, out of politeness and courtesy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always feel a little disappointed when I get blocked having spent some time writing a polite introduction message, but I do know whey they do it and in the end there is no point in worrying about it.

I think it would be nice if there was a button that you could hit which sent a standard "thanks, but no thanks" mail as a reply. I know it's a bit of work, but it could also put a little icon up (like the "you winked at them 3 days ago" ones so that you would be able to see that somebody had rejected you or that you had rejected that person. That would save one of the earlier poster's problems of forgetting who he'd contacted already."

i actually have thought many times that would be a great idea, a rejection wink lol

sounds daft but some days i log on and i have 50/60 plus messages waiting for me, now realistically i can sit and write a reply to all of them so most dont get one, where as how easy would it be to just hit a button that sent a.....thanks but no thanks.....reply for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I generally don't send "no thanks" messages to those I am not interested in. After reading how it upsets lots of people I thought, ok, I'll send no thanks messages.

In the 3 days I did this, I received replies such as

"Well you're too fat anyway"

"Didn't want to anyway"

"Well fuck off then you fat minger"

"Don't know how someone like you can be so picky"

"I'll be the best fuck that you've ever had"

And many others. I now only reply if I'm interested. "

So sad but true

I have had many nasty replies to a no thanks

And it does put you off sending them, its easy to say, oh just ignor them but nasty comments are just that and they do hurt and knock your confidance so why out yourself in the fireing line for such men?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We have a "no thanks" auto button on another site, and people complain about it as laziness....so you can't win !!

Anyway, what the hell am I doing adding to a thread about blocking and no replys........I need to go off and slap my face !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had an abusive response to a no thanks. I do give solid reasons why and the guys are usually appreciative of the fact that i've replied at all.

Sometimes I don't respond at all, If the message is offensive or negative (by negative I mean "I've read your profile because that's what I'm supposed to do on here apparently").

If you don't want to meet them though, surely it's a good thing that they block you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Whistler has it right.

You get ignored so much on here,someone who says ta,but no ta, they go right to the top of my respect list.

Then I block them so I dont turn into a pest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well thanks everyone for some interesting points!!!

Maybe we shouldnt feel so bad for getting blocked. Guess we should be glad we are getting messages lol

Have fun everyone xx

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Anyone that's taken the time to mail us but decide for whatever not to pursue their interest we block, simply to stop any confusion at a late stage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've just said thanks but no thanks to someone, as i cant travel as it says on my profile, he does and lives 20 mins drive from me, he wants me to pay for a taxi to go to his as I am too far for him to drive to!

so basically just said thanks but no thanks and got a message back how I was fucked up etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be good if everyone did actually take the time to say no thanks where applicable. especially where the person has taken the time to write a decent message and not a one liner.

If couples dont want to meet guys why do they advertise that they are looking for guys then ignore e mails?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are just being selective about whom they would meet. Nothing wrong with that IMHO!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"If the message is unsolicited, then one should not expect a reply, even thought one should, out of politeness and courtesy. "

Isn't first contact, by definition, unsolicited?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the message is unsolicited, then one should not expect a reply, even thought one should, out of politeness and courtesy.

Isn't first contact, by definition, unsolicited?"

.

Yup, hence I do not believe one should expect a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i've just said thanks but no thanks to someone, as i cant travel as it says on my profile, he does and lives 20 mins drive from me, he wants me to pay for a taxi to go to his as I am too far for him to drive to!

so basically just said thanks but no thanks and got a message back how I was fucked up etc.."

Thats why we dont reply to emails we not interested in,last time i said thanks but no thanks i was told that he hoped i got raped and how my kids must be proud of me.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

Getting blocked is far better that the "but why?" and begging messages... which can then turn to bitter snipes should you answer honestly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and what about the guy, who when I reply with a polite thanks but no thanks....responds with "You are too old to be on here anyway" and then blocks me....

wasn't he the one who a few minutes ago wanted to chat/meet with me???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no need for abuse, If a guy gets a no, he should accept it gracefully...

I have turned down a woman on this site and was greeted with an email of abuse, i did find that quite funny..

I also hate it when you send someone an email, and they just delete it, Now i know you woman and couples recieve hundreds of emails.. But that is just rude!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

Erm...so what's your problem?!!

If someone has contacted for sex and you've said no, blocking you to prevent them inadvertently contacting you again seems perfectly reasonable to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I generally don't send "no thanks" messages to those I am not interested in. After reading how it upsets lots of people I thought, ok, I'll send no thanks messages.

In the 3 days I did this, I received replies such as

"Well you're too fat anyway"

"Didn't want to anyway"

"Well fuck off then you fat minger"

"Don't know how someone like you can be so picky"

"I'll be the best fuck that you've ever had"

And many others. I now only reply if I'm interested. "

That was me when I first started! It was an easyf decision to delete and block anyone I wasn't interested in: problem solved, no abusive mail.

Following a spate of these threads I decided anyone who had obviously read my profile, met my criteria but didn't appeal would get a response.

This has led to:

"Why not Miss?"

"Please punish me Miss"

"I"ll do what you want"

"Give me a go"

"We can still meet for coffee".

Back to delete and block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny because i turn people down yet ive never received any abuse, ive no idea whether ive been blocked by someone that ive turned down because i dont check nor care

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By *andL1970Couple
over a year ago

hemel hempstead


"I generally don't send "no thanks" messages to those I am not interested in. After reading how it upsets lots of people I thought, ok, I'll send no thanks messages.

In the 3 days I did this, I received replies such as

"Well you're too fat anyway"

"Didn't want to anyway"

"Well fuck off then you fat minger"

"Don't know how someone like you can be so picky"

"I'll be the best fuck that you've ever had"

And many others. I now only reply if I'm interested. "

I think you shouldn't just block these people, but report them for abusive behaviour. They're clearly not hear for the right reasons and all they are doing is spoiling the site for you and the rest of us.

We sent a thanks but no thanks message to a guy yesterday and got a nice reply from him wishing us luck and thanking us for letting him know. We both agreed that if he was a "borderline no", and we were looking back at people, that sort of behaviour would maybe give us pause to reconsider...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I don't send a lot of mails as I'm very picky and I have a lot of criteria to meet i.e. must have a distrust of pocket fluff, must enjoy knitwear and soup etc.

So when I do, I kind of hope there will be a reply and I do find it rude if there was no acknowledgment. Although I do temper that with the fact they probably have masses of mail. Still, it is rude in real life so is rude in electronic life in my book lol.

A no is a no though for what ever reason and it doesn't matter what the reason is it's not gonna happen, move on lol.

For my own part I'm always friendly when knocking back people, I'll even have a bit banter with them before blocking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was abused pretty bad by a couple that was sending me messages so i told them that to "read my profile" as "im not looking for couples at this time" they then asked why i was online and ill for if im not looking for a meet

i didn't reply back but i was shocked at peoples attitudes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use my block button because sometimes people cannot take a no thanks. My profile is straight to the point and so is my personal age choice. I still get people under and above message me . So please guys read the profiles x x x

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By *askinMan
over a year ago

East Lincs

If i send someone a message i`m happy to get a reply of any kind even it is no thanks--

and theres no way I`d be asbusive--

I dont EXPECT anyone to want to meet me

but if they did it would be a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

There seems to be a lot of frustration at times. We tend to delete many now as replying just opens up a can of worms if its only to say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people simply block so that they dont mail you again....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is abuse which I find acceptable but wouldnt expect many others to feel the same ie

Dont be daft by the time we get to your house you will have died of old age

or

I said seeking 6 pack not keg

or

If I wanted to help the aged I would buy from thier charity shop

or

Sorry no mingers

or

We don't give out to charities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get the thanks but no thanks occasionally, I'm quite happy that they replied with that, once they do, I block them so I don't make the mistake of mailing them again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant believe people respond so negatively to 'Sorry but no thanks'. If that happened in a club and they responded in such a rude manner they'd get kicked out, and possibly hurt! Its only because its the internet and can respond in such a manner knowing full well there wont be any reprecussions that can actually harm them.

I appreciate getting 'Sorry but no thanks', it actually shows that there is politeness in the world! I understand some get too many messages to respond to everyone, i try to block everyone who says no, or i'm not interested in... just a shame they still come up in the search results after doing so.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

What makes you think they were offended just because they blocked you? I think that's pretty sensible of them - they won't waste your time again if they forget you aren't interested in meeting them and message you again. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone isn't interested I don't see any point mailing when your not going to get any place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

They are either going to mail you when they get a chance or they are not interested.

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By *andL1970Couple
over a year ago

hemel hempstead


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering. "

We do that when only one of us has time to look at the message. We don't reply to people unless we're both in agreement (unless it is really obviously a no thanks!)...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering. "

That's a very clear sign that you're being too impatient and need to spend less time in your "sent items"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering.

That's a very clear sign that you're being too impatient and need to spend less time in your "sent items""

I never look at my sent items for more than 30 seconds and thats to delete all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering. "

If you are contacting couples then they will both need to read and digest! You therefore need to be a little more patient.

We personally always reply to single men even though we say we are not interested, call me old fashioned I just think it is polite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering. "

I think people read too much into what the site allows you to do. I hate that we can see if emails have been read or deleted - it's silly. Noone knows what I delete from hotmail or gmail!

I think the only way to approach this site is with this motto:

"If I didn't get a reply stating an interest in me, the people I emailed are not interested"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, i can understand someone "blocking" if they are not interested, makes sense.

but what happens when..... your message has been read, your profile has been looked-at, but nothing else?

No Block, No Reply, no nothing. how do the rest of you take that scenario?

I'm not bitching at anyone, far from it, just wondering.

I think people read too much into what the site allows you to do. I hate that we can see if emails have been read or deleted - it's silly. Noone knows what I delete from hotmail or gmail!

I think the only way to approach this site is with this motto:

"If I didn't get a reply stating an interest in me, the people I emailed are not interested""

I totally agree with what you are saying, but to go back to the Original Post, at what point do you block them so that you do not contact them again as you can become a pest.

We only block people who have actaully said NO!

We have also had no response to an message only for weeks later the same people contact us apologising for not coming back sooner!

I guess the moral is only block people who say NO and just because you don't receive a reply immediately doesn't mean they are not interested!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That makes perfect sense, something that sometimes gets lost here!

The other day I mailed a couple who, on their profile had a rant about single men, going on and on and no, no, no, single men - 'why can't you read' and all the rest. I mailed them explaining the message filters and said I hoped that would help them in the future - they mailed an abusive mail back and blocked me - go figure!! Some people you just can't help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i am now on day 6 of mailing back a thanks but no thanks to the same guy , persistant he may be lol i dont like blocking folk as im a easy going girl but i mailed thanks but no thanks instead of deleting and just keep getting but why ?

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

I had a thanks but no thanks message a while back, so sent a thanks for replying back, as I allways do, then got a message back saying how polite i was lol

messages continued back and forth ending in a great meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well i am now on day 6 of mailing back a thanks but no thanks to the same guy , persistant he may be lol i dont like blocking folk as im a easy going girl but i mailed thanks but no thanks instead of deleting and just keep getting but why ? "

I think I have him too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well i am now on day 6 of mailing back a thanks but no thanks to the same guy , persistant he may be lol i dont like blocking folk as im a easy going girl but i mailed thanks but no thanks instead of deleting and just keep getting but why ?

I think I have him too "

i have a few like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

I have only ever had one bad reaction and that was when I first joined, since then I have been lucky and found a polite no ta elicites a polite response ... if people are offended a a polite rebuke, it would seem to me they have problems with being rejected and could possibly be not the type you'd want to meet anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a thanks but no thanks message a while back, so sent a thanks for replying back, as I allways do, then got a message back saying how polite i was lol

messages continued back and forth ending in a great meet.

"

Same here! She was shocked i was so polite and understanding about being 'rejected' that we ended up meeting!

I guess a guy can change a womans mind, indirectly of course!

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

Comes down to basic manners, just look at what lots of guys say on various cam sites, you wonder at times if they've only ever seen a woman on the internet and never in real life.

It is possible to be dirty/kinky yet still polite I believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Comes down to basic manners, just look at what lots of guys say on various cam sites, you wonder at times if they've only ever seen a woman on the internet and never in real life.

It is possible to be dirty/kinky yet still polite I believe.

"

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

around 90% of messages we get are from people who clearly did not read our profile,immediate block,,end of!

as for sendind a polite thanks but no thanks...we always reply and many times have been sent abusive replies from guys we turned down,,,one time a certain guy on here constantly sent abusive emails to us,we reported it but nothing came of it so we dealt with it ourselves,,using a friends email address,,(with their consent) we arranged to meet him one night,,he fell for it hook line n sinker,,only he didnt get what he was expecting when he turned up!!!!! lets just say he didnt bother us again,taught the bastard a lesson he wont forget in a hurry..well he asked for it!

simple answer is read a persons profile properly before messaging and if you are declined take it like an adult and move on...simples!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently received a mail from a couple inviting me to meet them when they visited scotland, to which I politely replied and declined.

I was then told I needed to go eat a hamburger as my body obviously craved it and I wouldn't be able to handle her man anyway! From sexy lady to skinny ***t in three easy e-mails.

(I have removed all identifying expletives from this text)

Needless to say admin were very prompt in sorting this abusive mail for me when I hit the REPORT button on the couples profile and sent a copy of the received mail. Admin is your friend. xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

I always put on profiles if you havent heard from me within a week take it as a polite thanks but no thanks. Still get guys who persist though lol

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"around 90% of messages we get are from people who clearly did not read our profile,immediate block,,end of!

"

Currently we are taking a bit of a break from meeting new people, we have updated our profile to state that we are only meeting with people on our friends list(people we have already met) and that NOT to send us friends invites has we will just delete them....But we still get 4 or 5 messages a day asking if we would like to meet! This just shows that people cannot be bothered to read profiles even if they are only 3 lines long.

If we are not interested in someone who has sent us a message we just delete it and block them, we block them because we don't want to meet them and therefore don't want them to contact us again. We used to send thanks but no thanks messages but we just either got abuse or loads of emails asking why not, so we don't bother anymore

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"one time a certain guy on here constantly sent abusive emails to us,we reported it but nothing came of it so we dealt with it ourselves,,using a friends email address,,(with their consent) we arranged to meet him one night,,he fell for it hook line n sinker,,only he didnt get what he was expecting when he turned up!!!!! lets just say he didnt bother us again,taught the bastard a lesson he wont forget in a hurry..well he asked for it!"

wtf?????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told I was crazy when told someone that would not meet them and would not be adding them to friends list because 1. too far away 2. too pushy

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

why should we have to put up with abuse just because we decline to meet someone,,we had months of abuse for declining a guy,we politely said thanks but no thanks,,that should have been the end of it,,but no,,we took months of abusive emails,we blocked him but he just kept coming back with new profiles.so we think how we dealt with him in the end was deserved,if you dont agree then think how you would feel if you were being put through what we went through,,so as far as we are concerned he got what he deserved when he fell into hubbies trap.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"why should we have to put up with abuse just because we decline to meet someone,,we had months of abuse for declining a guy,we politely said thanks but no thanks,,that should have been the end of it,,but no,,we took months of abusive emails,we blocked him but he just kept coming back with new profiles.so we think how we dealt with him in the end was deserved,if you dont agree then think how you would feel if you were being put through what we went through,,so as far as we are concerned he got what he deserved when he fell into hubbies trap."

OK, I'll ask.

How did the trapping play out?

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

cant really say on here,,lol...but all that matters is he got what he deserved and has not been on the site since,,hence no more hassle,abuse etc,not just for us but for others he did the same to.....and mr gen would not hesitate in doing the same again if any similar event occured.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

He didn't really ****** ***** ******* did he?

That's terrible!

*** ******** must have been on fire!!

I almost feel sorry for him.

Was it an IKEA bench?

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

lol...at the above,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say 'No thanks, your cock is way too big for me' and they go away all happy.

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By *uckUGuyzMan
over a year ago

Visiting....hotel...

Oh and just for the record im not condoning sex behind the others' back but we all know it happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if they have first sent you a message then it bypasses the filter to block all men as it deems that they do want to talk with you and will allow you to reply, so the only way what you describe happened is if they did physically hit the block button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep sad innit if ya cant be honest with ya partner and they with you then maybe couples like that should not be together and deff NOT swinging xx

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By *uckUGuyzMan
over a year ago

Visiting....hotel...

[Removed by poster at 25/09/10 07:03:18]

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By *uckUGuyzMan
over a year ago

Visiting....hotel...


"if they have first sent you a message then it bypasses the filter to block all men as it deems that they do want to talk with you and will allow you to reply, so the only way what you describe happened is if they did physically hit the block button"

My point exactly...The message was sent 'while the cats away' then the block reinstated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a sign of weakness to block someone after providing him/her with the feedback he/she has requested?

When requested for a feedback why I decline a person, it is normally in the line nothing more to say apart from not being interested.

And if the person insists on a more detailed feedback, I would then let loose about what my initial thoughts were after reading his message and his profile.

I would inform him in my response that I shall block him to prevent further communications.

And I always wish the sender good luck!

I do not believe I am doing anything wrong.

However, why do I feel bad about blocking the person after giving him a piece of my mind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my problem is my reasons are usually nothing to do with the profile.

its usually the 1st message has not impressed me or they haven't read my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!! "

Just a way of having the last word......important to some !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If we are not interested in someone who has sent us a message we just delete it and block them, we block them because we don't want to meet them and therefore don't want them to contact us again. We used to send thanks but no thanks messages but we just either got abuse or loads of emails asking why not, so we don't bother anymore"

*Nods in agreement*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a polite thanks but no thanks offends some folk...surely there has to be an attraction, we can't fancy everybody and all have different tastes???Just curious as it seems that as soon as you decline an invitation you get blocked!!!

Just a way of having the last word......important to some !"

I see at as precaution. It stops you inadvertently contacting again someone who's turned you down!

If you have turned someone down I can't see why you should care if they blocked you or not!

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol


"around 90% of messages we get are from people who clearly did not read our profile,immediate block,,end of!

as for sendind a polite thanks but no thanks...we always reply and many times have been sent abusive replies from guys we turned down,,,one time a certain guy on here constantly sent abusive emails to us,we reported it but nothing came of it so we dealt with it ourselves,,using a friends email address,,(with their consent) we arranged to meet him one night,,he fell for it hook line n sinker,,only he didnt get what he was expecting when he turned up!!!!! lets just say he didnt bother us again,taught the bastard a lesson he wont forget in a hurry..well he asked for it!

simple answer is read a persons profile properly before messaging and if you are declined take it like an adult and move on...simples!"

But.....thanks for the heads up on what you're really like. Consider yourselves blocked (and I doubt we're the only ones to do this after what you wrote)

For us, we do block people if we've rec'd a message from them and are not interested - or we've messaged them and they are not interested. Not to cause offence, purely to keep track on who we do and don't want to meet (or does/doesn't want to meet us)

We also block people who (like the poster above ) show themselves to be idiots, or playig away from home or playing bareback. All things we're not into but can easily be changed on a profile when it suits.

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"around 90% of messages we get are from people who clearly did not read our profile,immediate block,,end of!

as for sendind a polite thanks but no thanks...we always reply and many times have been sent abusive replies from guys we turned down,,,one time a certain guy on here constantly sent abusive emails to us,we reported it but nothing came of it so we dealt with it ourselves,,using a friends email address,,(with their consent) we arranged to meet him one night,,he fell for it hook line n sinker,,only he didnt get what he was expecting when he turned up!!!!! lets just say he didnt bother us again,taught the bastard a lesson he wont forget in a hurry..well he asked for it!

simple answer is read a persons profile properly before messaging and if you are declined take it like an adult and move on...simples!

But.....thanks for the heads up on what you're really like. Consider yourselves blocked (and I doubt we're the only ones to do this after what you wrote)

For us, we do block people if we've rec'd a message from them and are not interested - or we've messaged them and they are not interested. Not to cause offence, purely to keep track on who we do and don't want to meet (or does/doesn't want to meet us)

We also block people who (like the poster above ) show themselves to be idiots, or playig away from home or playing bareback. All things we're not into but can easily be changed on a profile when it suits.

*Her*"

Well said, I have blocked the aswell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do think its daft that people will reply back and ask the questions "why i'm not right"... end of the day we are all different, and like different things.

i understand that just because someone catches my eye, and i find them attractive, or that i would like to get to know them more. its not always going to be the case that, that person sees me in the same way when they either read my email, or profile.

i do have to say i do respect a person a lot more if they do reply back "thanks but no thanks", only reason, is that i dont reply to a profile very often, but when i do, i take time to read there profile, and make sure my reply is details and different. so a reply normally takes me more than 30 seconds to write. but suppose if i was a Single Fem, getting 30 or so messages a day, i may see things differently.

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By *andit BabeWoman
over a year ago

melton mowbray

I have read this thread with interest. I am new to this (not just the site) and have been shocked by some peoples attitudes. I am a polite person and always try to say thanks but no thanks and have had many people simply say "thanks for replying, take care" while some have asked why...how do you make "I just don't fancy you sound nice?" and have had one guy ask me to meet 17 times in one night after I said no to the first invite!!

I try to reply to everyone but as I had over 200 mails in my first week I have had to be a bit more ruthless and just delete many of the messages.

The way I look at it is, the world is full of idiots, you are going to find them wherever you are, on the roads, in the pub, at work.....but unfortunately idiots have learnt to use the internet

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I am not even sure how to see who has blocked us but I completely understand the people who have done a kind reply saying sorry you are not our type if they have blocked us it just means we can't accidentally message them again.

we have four people on our blocked list just people who have been rude or have asked my hubby if they could pay for me to sleep with them.

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