FabSwingers.com forum: Permission from partner...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is sort of an old one with a new twist....

I'm half of a married couple who swing together and separately. It's often the case that people aren't interested in meeting me as an individual as I'm married and they think I'm cheating.

So today I've uploaded a pic of my wife onto my profile holding a note which says "He has my permission to play alone".... I've obscured her face in the public version, but an unblurred one is also available for me to send if further proof is required.

So the question is, does that make any difference, or am I still labelled as a cheat?

I can see an option for a further level of photo verification here, where the mods could verify that somebody like me really has got his wife's permission by comparing pics with the couple's profile, etc..

BTW, I did one for her individual profile, and there is one of both of us holding the note too which I'll probably put on our couple's one.. I don't think anyone cares if she's married though!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pesronally I think you have taken the right steps and now it is down to individuals or couples to make their own decision...

I just had a look at your profile and see you have mentioned your couple name, maybe you also might want to mention her single profile name.. just a thought

The more information you give the better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

We tend not to play with guys who are half of a couple, the reason for this is we feel there are plenty of single guys out there and they find it hard enough to meet couples, If you are part of a swinging couple we feel it is beeing greedy

That is just our opinion not sure how others will view it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We tend not to play with guys who are half of a couple, the reason for this is we feel there are plenty of single guys out there and they find it hard enough to meet couples, If you are part of a swinging couple we feel it is beeing greedy

That is just our opinion not sure how others will view it."

So would you play with a woman who is part of a couple and has her partners permission? Or would you always go for a single woman?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you have done is the best thing you can do in the circumstances, we are also in the group that don't meet one half of a couple without thier partners being present be that male or female. This is mainly down to our personal experience of meeting people and finding that more often than not (but not always) it is because one half of the couple are not as "up for swinging" as the other half but feels they have to allow thier partner to do it for fear of losing him/her.

Another reason is when one partner is very dominant and basically "doing what he/she likes and there is nothing the other partner can say about it.

Sometimes the partner doing the meeting alone has no idea the thier partner is hating the situation but unwilling to rock the boat and admit thier feelings.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We don't meet the male half of a couple wether they say they have permission or not. We like things uncomplicated, and I am not saying this is how it is in your case, but we have known a woman get forced into agreeing with her hubby playing with others alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

I am the same I will only play with genuine single guys, as lot less complications.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dont meet one half of a couple,even if they have each others permission to do so,we just find it less complicated and like been pointed out there are plenty of genuine single guys on here that we do meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

That is just our opinion not sure how others will view it.

So would you play with a woman who is part of a couple and has her partners permission? Or would you always go for a single woman?"

We do not play with single fems so it does not apply to us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For the person who mentioned it, her profile is piglyd.

I do find it interesting how people seem to assume the worst about the internal dynamics of other's relationships. We have a very open, honest, equal and healthy relationship, but still people would avoid meeting me because of their view of what might be happening behind closed doors. Whilst I total respect anyone's right to form and hold an opinion, I have come to the conclusion that it probably says more about them than about us....

As for being greedy, yeah I can go along with that. Is there something greedy about wanting multiple partners? I think so Does that mean that all swingers are greedy? I think so again. Once that's established it's simply a matter of degrees...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would meet one half of a couple with their partners permission. Im part of a couple although dont live together but on here i play as a single female. Anyone who knows me knows hes more than happy for me to play alone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am the same I will only play with genuine single guys, as lot less complications."

Yep...nods in agreement!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well at the moment its all a bit irrelevant as strangely the pic has been removed from the site by a moderator.

Seems I can't do right for doing wrong!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your right, many of us do assume the worst.

Meets can be hard enough to get in the first place so most people go for the easy options, why take the risk when there are so many single guys who are truly single,

We have always operated a "if in doubt kick it out" policy, this may seem harsh and may seem OTT but it appears we are not alone in our thoughts.

Why go for the possibly complicated when the easy is just as good an option ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well at the moment its all a bit irrelevant as strangely the pic has been removed from the site by a moderator.

Seems I can't do right for doing wrong!

Not sure why you think its strange, you have a single profile and uploaded a pic of the wife

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" .........

................ "

For those form whom such things matter, assuming what you claim some folks see as the worst about other people's relationships is no more than what, for them, is the safest thing to do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"This is sort of an old one with a new twist....

I'm half of a married couple who swing together and separately. It's often the case that people aren't interested in meeting me as an individual as I'm married and they think I'm cheating.

So the question is, does that make any difference, or am I still labelled as a cheat?

BTW, I did one for her individual profile, and there is one of both of us holding the note too which I'll probably put on our couple's one.. I don't think anyone cares if she's married though!

A cracking idea maybe others will follow. You will get some cynics though but its innovative i will give you than.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well at the moment its all a bit irrelevant as strangely the pic has been removed from the site by a moderator.

Seems I can't do right for doing wrong!

Not sure why you think its strange, you have a single profile and uploaded a pic of the wife

Yeah, if you want to look at it like that then you can, but I complied with the instructions about making sure that anyone else in the pic is not recognisable (in the public one at least), and frankly I think it's pretty clear to anyone looking at the pic that there is implied permission for it to be used in this way. It simply seems to be that somebody has simply looked at the picture out of context.

I will repost the pics on our couple profile, I don't think there can be any objection there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well at the moment its all a bit irrelevant as strangely the pic has been removed from the site by a moderator.

Seems I can't do right for doing wrong!

Not sure why you think its strange, you have a single profile and uploaded a pic of the wife

I will repost the pics on our couple profile, I don't think there can be any objection there!"

Perhaps just point people in the direction of said picture on your couples profile from your single profile, I personally think you should be allowed to have it on your profile too though.

Agree with BigBad though, tis an original idea... but as some have said, they will still avoid you even though you truly are allowed. Just something you'll have to accept I guess!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps just point people in the direction of said picture on your couples profile from your single profile, I personally think you should be allowed to have it on your profile too though."

Yeah, that's what I'm doing now.... Seems daft to me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something I am getting into at the moment, really because Ben can be away at work for long periods of time. It is part of our ing out process though that any potential play friends meet us both for a social drink first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it all seems a bit desperate to us lol and we are sure if people were really interested in meeting you they could always confirm your permissions with a quick chat on phone ect

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sound advice from an expert

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"it all seems a bit desperate to us lol and we are sure if people were really interested in meeting you they could always confirm your permissions with a quick chat on phone ect

I agree, there is no problem with that, but it rarely gets that far because people simply refuse to believe that a man can actually play away with his wife's permission. The idea was simply to show up front that there isn't any "behind-the-back" funny business going on so that people will know I'm not a cheat or a liar. Funny though, nobody has ever questioned whether she has permission...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best way is just to add text saying your permission can be verified with a quick chat to the wife and then its up to them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

I have only met guys from couples that I know, have met and usually in a club, when they are both present. I once trusted what a guy said in that he had his wife;s permission...cammed with him and the "wife" and then even chatted to her on the phone..even got on really well with her.Was chatting away with her and she let slip "when I first played with "j" a couple of months ago..." and I said..sorry...I thought you were his wife...she didn't know what to say and then I heard him in the backround " ffs you idiot...hang up!!" she hung up and then they blocked me...and since deleted their account... so you can see how some of us do not always trust when a man says he has permission as at least one guy had the balls to pass a fuck buddy as his wife to try to fool women into meeting someone who is actually palying about...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well wether its right or wrong well done for trying

good luck to you both x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have only met guys from couples that I know, have met and usually in a club, when they are both present. I once trusted what a guy said in that he had his wife;s permission...cammed with him and the "wife" and then even chatted to her on the phone..even got on really well with her.Was chatting away with her and she let slip "when I first played with "j" a couple of months ago..." and I said..sorry...I thought you were his wife...she didn't know what to say and then I heard him in the backround " ffs you idiot...hang up!!" she hung up and then they blocked me...and since deleted their account... so you can see how some of us do not always trust when a man says he has permission as at least one guy had the balls to pass a fuck buddy as his wife to try to fool women into meeting someone who is actually palying about..."

Well there is always somebody who will take the piss and nothing is foolproof.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"well wether its right or wrong well done for trying

good luck to you both x "

Thanks! xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont meet married men at all even if their wifes know, main reason being, when im with someone i want to give them my 100% attention while im with them and expect the same in return, i dont wnat someone whos clock watching and having to rush to get back for the mrs, or someone whos on a time limit

But i dont see a guy who plays alone a cheat if his wife known, i dont get why anyone would

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezndd69Man
over a year ago

Henley on Thames

"For the person who mentioned it, her profile is piglyd.

we are a couple and my mrs is happy for me to play on my own as well. i have the same problem (also people think that I'm a single guy pretending to be a couple) even though she is happy to tell people on the phone or cam. i would never play on my own if i thought for one moment that she was not happy about it. when we play together its mainly guys we meet and are happy to meet married guys as long as we speak to his mrs and she happy for him to meet us. another reason why i sometimes play on my own is because she does not have a very high sex drive. another is we have 4 kids, this makes it very difficult for us to play together and can take months to arrange a meet. just wish people would treat me as a single guy when I'm playing on my own but its all up to your selves to make your own decisions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why don't you just look for sep meets via your couples profile, we do.......... cuts out all the above..... simples xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is sort of an old one with a new twist....

I'm half of a married couple who swing together and separately. It's often the case that people aren't interested in meeting me as an individual as I'm married and they think I'm cheating.

So the question is, does that make any difference, or am I still labelled as a cheat?

BTW, I did one for her individual profile, and there is one of both of us holding the note too which I'll probably put on our couple's one.. I don't think anyone cares if she's married though!

You can put a pic of me on if you like holdin a poster over my blurred face AND 'My Mum says I can play too!'

Im so kind x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Although we love playing as a couple, we often play on our own at parties and clubs, if we are happy with the situaton.

In that scenario, its easy to prove that you are "allowed" to play, but strangely, many times no-one asks!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andL1970Couple
over a year ago

hemel hempstead

"why don't you just look for sep meets via your couples profile, we do.......... cuts out all the above..... simples xxx

I agree, but if somebody is looking for a man, they're not searching for a couple profile.

Also that does open the door to people accusing us of just being single guy posing as a couple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread