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how not to be a sex pest on here!?!?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no right or wrong way,some people like winks some dont.

Just make sure you are what they are looking for,if they are looking for guys,if you are in their age range if you smoke do they meet smokers.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell porkies, don't send one liners 'how do you wanna fuck and when' type, respect that no means no etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget to read the text in the profiles, and not just look at the pics!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

If a profile says no winks. Don't wink.

If a profile says no single men. Don't bother.

If a profile says girls welcome. Don't bother - unless you have a girl partner or are a girl.

Be polite. Expect nothing. Then everything else is a bonus.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"Don't forget to read the text in the profiles, and not just look at the pics! "

You mean there's also some text in people's profiles....?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

It works both ways... I still keep getting:

1) some couples I don't know wanting to add me without emailing first

2) Some couples wanting pictures (face or otherwise) even though they have none of theirs

3) Some couples who for some reason can only communicate in one-liners ("Come fuck my wife") and hope I'm grateful.

I'm sure few would argue the behaviour is unique to single guys - its a "some people" thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

food for thought! thanks for the replies and have fun!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt"

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol"

Well... I think the wink should be seen or looked upon differently and not a thing of chancers... if you get a wink and aren't interested do nothing... if you think the person who sent the wink might be of interest then what does it take to wink back? Nothing!

Now the ball is back in the first persons court... "oh.. he or she winked back!?" Its over to them then to progress to a message to follow you their interest in you surely?

Wouldn't it make more snes to kind of have that sort of rule to it... beacuse whats the point in typing out what is a polite personal message to each person that capture your attention to then find nothing comes back from the person you've just written the message too?

Is it now wonder people take the cut and paste option... that is the same then as a wink... its a chancers game isn't it?!

So I think wink the person your interested in... if they don't wink back... move on! if they do wink back... think of it as an invitation to put your game face on and send they a polite ans well constructed message... still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... if once you've open your mouth in effect the person isn't interested?! But at least it would stop those that moan about massge that they equally didn't or don't want to receive?

Trust me ther is nothing worst than reading a profile that interest you... you think I fit their bill... you send a polite message and nothing! if your lucky they read it... if your very lucky they say no thanks sod off! and if your really really lucky they might say hello... (loser! pmsl)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Well reasoned Dickens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It works both ways... I still keep getting:

1) some couples I don't know wanting to add me without emailing first

2) Some couples wanting pictures (face or otherwise) even though they have none of theirs

3) Some couples who for some reason can only communicate in one-liners ("Come fuck my wife") and hope I'm grateful.

I'm sure few would argue the behaviour is unique to single guys - its a "some people" thing."

phwoar thats a nice ass

sorry what was the question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol

Well... I think the wink should be seen or looked upon differently and not a thing of chancers... if you get a wink and aren't interested do nothing... if you think the person who sent the wink might be of interest then what does it take to wink back? Nothing!

Now the ball is back in the first persons court... "oh.. he or she winked back!?" Its over to them then to progress to a message to follow you their interest in you surely?

Wouldn't it make more snes to kind of have that sort of rule to it... beacuse whats the point in typing out what is a polite personal message to each person that capture your attention to then find nothing comes back from the person you've just written the message too?

Is it now wonder people take the cut and paste option... that is the same then as a wink... its a chancers game isn't it?!

So I think wink the person your interested in... if they don't wink back... move on! if they do wink back... think of it as an invitation to put your game face on and send they a polite ans well constructed message... still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... if once you've open your mouth in effect the person isn't interested?! But at least it would stop those that moan about massge that they equally didn't or don't want to receive?

Trust me ther is nothing worst than reading a profile that interest you... you think I fit their bill... you send a polite message and nothing! if your lucky they read it... if your very lucky they say no thanks sod off! and if your really really lucky they might say hello... (loser! pmsl)

"

i dont mind winks either, i can then decided to peek at the profile and wink back or not

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"It works both ways... I still keep getting:

1) some couples I don't know wanting to add me without emailing first

2) Some couples wanting pictures (face or otherwise) even though they have none of theirs

3) Some couples who for some reason can only communicate in one-liners ("Come fuck my wife") and hope I'm grateful.

I'm sure few would argue the behaviour is unique to single guys - its a "some people" thing.

phwoar thats a nice ass

sorry what was the question "

Geeeeeeeeeez - you can talk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol

Well... I think the wink should be seen or looked upon differently and not a thing of chancers... if you get a wink and aren't interested do nothing... if you think the person who sent the wink might be of interest then what does it take to wink back? Nothing!

Now the ball is back in the first persons court... "oh.. he or she winked back!?" Its over to them then to progress to a message to follow you their interest in you surely?

Wouldn't it make more snes to kind of have that sort of rule to it... beacuse whats the point in typing out what is a polite personal message to each person that capture your attention to then find nothing comes back from the person you've just written the message too?

Is it now wonder people take the cut and paste option... that is the same then as a wink... its a chancers game isn't it?!

So I think wink the person your interested in... if they don't wink back... move on! if they do wink back... think of it as an invitation to put your game face on and send they a polite ans well constructed message... still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... if once you've open your mouth in effect the person isn't interested?! But at least it would stop those that moan about massge that they equally didn't or don't want to receive?

Trust me ther is nothing worst than reading a profile that interest you... you think I fit their bill... you send a polite message and nothing! if your lucky they read it... if your very lucky they say no thanks sod off! and if your really really lucky they might say hello... (loser! pmsl)

"

Whilst I see your point of view I don't acknowledge winks as I think they're from chancers too.

How many messages must one send out to get frustrated by the lack of response to see winking as an easy option? Loads!! Ergo to me winker = chancer.

I only delete messages without reading if I can tell at a glance they've not read my profile ie anyone outside London, couples, women, anyone with "bi, Dom, tv, black" in their user name, any message that starts "hi sexy/hun/babe/wotcha" etc.

The senders of such messages are advised it would be a waste of time sending a message as I delete without reading messages from people who don't meet my criteria.

I know there's no correlation between winking being lazy therefore lazy in the sack but it's perception.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol

Well... I think the wink should be seen or looked upon differently and not a thing of chancers... if you get a wink and aren't interested do nothing... if you think the person who sent the wink might be of interest then what does it take to wink back? Nothing!

Now the ball is back in the first persons court... "oh.. he or she winked back!?" Its over to them then to progress to a message to follow you their interest in you surely?

Wouldn't it make more snes to kind of have that sort of rule to it... beacuse whats the point in typing out what is a polite personal message to each person that capture your attention to then find nothing comes back from the person you've just written the message too?

Is it now wonder people take the cut and paste option... that is the same then as a wink... its a chancers game isn't it?!

So I think wink the person your interested in... if they don't wink back... move on! if they do wink back... think of it as an invitation to put your game face on and send they a polite ans well constructed message... still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... if once you've open your mouth in effect the person isn't interested?! But at least it would stop those that moan about massge that they equally didn't or don't want to receive?

Trust me ther is nothing worst than reading a profile that interest you... you think I fit their bill... you send a polite message and nothing! if your lucky they read it... if your very lucky they say no thanks sod off! and if your really really lucky they might say hello... (loser! pmsl)

Whilst I see your point of view I don't acknowledge winks as I think they're from chancers too.

How many messages must one send out to get frustrated by the lack of response to see winking as an easy option? Loads!! Ergo to me winker = chancer.

I only delete messages without reading if I can tell at a glance they've not read my profile ie anyone outside London, couples, women, anyone with "bi, Dom, tv, black" in their user name, any message that starts "hi sexy/hun/babe/wotcha" etc.

The senders of such messages are advised it would be a waste of time sending a message as I delete without reading messages from people who don't meet my criteria.

I know there's no correlation between winking being lazy therefore lazy in the sack but it's perception. "

I am much of the same opinion as you and can tell if they have read my profile without reading the message.

My view on winks is if people can't be bothered to send a nice well thought out message I can only be bothered to press delete.

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton

All I was trying to say was with winks its saving everybody a shed load of time in effect... if you where in a bar or a club and spotted someone that you like the look of you'd possibly sit back and do a bit of watching and looking in that general direction... they might catch you looking at them and they'd either clearly show a lack of interest or maybe play along and do a bit of watch and looking in your direction back? So whats the difference? When if you felt like it then do the stoll across and chatting up bit... in here then I'd say that's sending a message... isn't it?

A message still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... same as if you started chatting at the bar in the club? Its a starting point... and things go on from there... surely?

So I honestly don't see why someone that sends a wink is a chancer or a lazy shite? So are you lady's saying if your dream fuck fancy guy read your profile and winked at you your going to ignore him? yeah right... its anothe means to express interest in a nice fun flirty sort of why surely... I use it in the way that I like the look of you... are you liking the the look of me... gather a yes or no view back i.e. a wink in return or not and then go then for a chat with a message...

There is no right or wrong way to meet people is there... some use the forum's some the chat room... some are regulars at clubs and only use fab to brag about there fun in almost a facebook like way... some think they are gods gift and I'll find you if I want you the rest of you can fuck off... others play a numbers gain and message hundreds with the fancy a fuck hun cut and paste... there are those that moan about the shear volume of message they receive and why don't people read my profile first... there are those that require you to have a picture of yourself before messaging them but infact have none themselves? There are different people here and different approaches and don't knock the wink if it was understood in the way I think it was intended it would be a fun thing and not something to moan and groan about... rude people are dead easy to find on here... the really nice ones take the effort to search out... lol

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By *he BananamanMan
over a year ago

WORCESTERSHIRE

winks are a great way of making the first move i find,you wink at someone and if they are interested in you after reading your profile they wink back!,you can then sit down to compose a nice interesting letter.

it does save a lot of time that you spend in composing the first initial letter and then seeing that it has been deleted without even the courtesy of a "thank you,but no thanks!" reply.

winks are so simple and yet so useful i dont know why they were not thought of years ago!.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"There are different people here and different approaches and don't knock the wink if it was understood in the way I think it was intended it would be a fun thing and not something to moan and groan about... rude people are dead easy to find on here... the really nice ones take the effort to search out..."

In essence, you're correct.

In reality, like so many other things in life, it doesnt work that way.

The nub of the problem is that the average vagina custodian on here (whether single or part of a couple) will get tens or even more of messages on a daily basis.

And, despite the fact that she is maybe looking for a guy just like you, there is no way of filtering out your well inteded, well thought out, pleasant wink from the others she has received that day.

On messages the story is similar, but with a twist. The keeper of the clit will, as with winks, receive mutliple messages daily. Sorting is helped by the ease of getting rid of the complete no hopers.

She's then left with the "genuine" messages. But now she needs to sort the "cut & paste" ones from the rest. This is doable with a bit of time and patience. Now she's left with maybe i dunno, 3 or 4 messages? But by now, her attention span has, naturally, shifted. She's thinking less about "getting some" and more about "why ARE all men bastards". This means she is really not in a conducive place to read your little soliloquy to her and be able connect with the intent and meaning behind it.

So she heads for the fridge, grabs the Haagen Dazs and watches endless repeats of Friends on More4, all the while thinking, "i'd quite like someone just to be here and snuggle up watching this with me".

And at round about the same time, our eponymous hero the genuine single guy is doing much the same with a bottle of Stella (though to be fair he's mostly trying to decide whether he'd go for Rachel - all cute and innocent and girly, the kinda girl you'd marry - or Monica - you just know she'd be dirty as fuck, really, she would - but that's a guy thing, so let's not dwell).

On a parallel universe far, far away, the girls have to make the running by messaging the boys - everything else is the same but women are expected to "chase" men. And the boys moan like fuck that girls just message them all the time looking for a cheap thrill and easy sex. And the men are sick of it.

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

Not thats a thoughtful post.

Its like in a club, there are some that will arrive and talk to 20 women asap, on the assumption one will be a hit.

Then there are the others who will head for the bar, and by the time they talk to someone are too d*unk.

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire


" he's mostly trying to decide whether he'd go for Rachel - all cute and innocent and girly, the kinda girl you'd marry - or Monica - you just know she'd be dirty as fuck, really, she would

"

nah,Pheobe would be the *really* dirty one

I tend to use a wink if Im slightly out of the person's "want" list-too old,too young,too far away,etc, and if they wink back,that shows that at least they *might* compromise on that "want" list....of course my message is usually then just ignored

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Not thats a thoughtful post.

Its like in a club, there are some that will arrive and talk to 20 women asap, on the assumption one will be a hit.

Then there are the others who will head for the bar, and by the time they talk to someone are too d*unk.

"

So if i talk to ten women and don't get too pissed...

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


" he's mostly trying to decide whether he'd go for Rachel - all cute and innocent and girly, the kinda girl you'd marry - or Monica - you just know she'd be dirty as fuck, really, she would

nah,Pheobe would be the *really* dirty one

I tend to use a wink if Im slightly out of the person's "want" list-too old,too young,too far away,etc, and if they wink back,that shows that at least they *might* compromise on that "want" list....of course my message is usually then just ignored "

Nah, Pheobs would do it, and it would all be good etc etc, but you'd never get the "you made me be a bad girl" feeling that Monica and Rachel would give you.

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

Mmm maybe thats it, ten is the magic limit.

Usually have found its those random moments that are the best, though must remember most barmaids only flirt to make you stay longer and spend more money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hm, how not to be a sex pest? chemical castration?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"hm, how not to be a sex pest? chemical castration? "

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt"
Matt, I wink too, when I find a girl or couple whose profile i like. And, if they like my profile, invariably I get a wink back. So, contact is established, and we take it from there. To be honest, looking over the past year, all my meets have been the "result" of winks .. so, it works for me. Analogously, its like physically meeting, ie you see someone you like and smile and say hello .. and take it from there. The "internet wink" is just the same, an "electronic" smile in an "electronic" world, expressing interest .. just like a real smile in the real street, bar,... wherever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep reading profiles asking single men to not be idiots and wanted some advice as to avoiding being said idiot? I wink if I am interested and to see if there is any attraction with a view to messaging in depth if there is. Am I on the wrong track folk's? cheers, Matt

Personally i never reply to winks

To me winks are for chancers, i have imagines of men sat at home just winking every women on here to get better odds of getting a reply lol

I prefure men to mail me with a personal mail that shows they have read my profile and are talking to me, rather than a cut and paste message that they have sent me because they want to meet a woman and any old women will do lol

Well... I think the wink should be seen or looked upon differently and not a thing of chancers... if you get a wink and aren't interested do nothing... if you think the person who sent the wink might be of interest then what does it take to wink back? Nothing!

Now the ball is back in the first persons court... "oh.. he or she winked back!?" Its over to them then to progress to a message to follow you their interest in you surely?

Wouldn't it make more snes to kind of have that sort of rule to it... beacuse whats the point in typing out what is a polite personal message to each person that capture your attention to then find nothing comes back from the person you've just written the message too?

Is it now wonder people take the cut and paste option... that is the same then as a wink... its a chancers game isn't it?!

So I think wink the person your interested in... if they don't wink back... move on! if they do wink back... think of it as an invitation to put your game face on and send they a polite ans well constructed message... still doesn't mean you'll get anywhere... if once you've open your mouth in effect the person isn't interested?! But at least it would stop those that moan about massge that they equally didn't or don't want to receive?

Trust me ther is nothing worst than reading a profile that interest you... you think I fit their bill... you send a polite message and nothing! if your lucky they read it... if your very lucky they say no thanks sod off! and if your really really lucky they might say hello... (loser! pmsl)

"

But i always wonder how many men who wink me, would remember they winked me the next day? you know if they go thro all the women and wink them how they supposed to remember the same of everyone, so there for whats the point in me responding?

I just cant believe that anyone would find a profile, read it, like it as a individual and not just as a 'oh shes a woman she'll do' and just wink

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If say man 1 reads my profile and messages me showing he has actually has read my profile and then man number 2 winks at me, I would be more interested that the first man has actually taken time to read my profile and make the effort to form mail to send to me rather than just wink.

Man 1 took the time and effort and man 2 hasnt and probably has winked at the other 30 women showing as online. Man 1 has just finished writing the mail to me and then may only get to read and write mail to 3 others in the time man 2 has winked at 30 possibly.

I think man 1 makes the effort and is about quality and man 2 is about quantity and covering his options so wink as many as possible and he may get lucky.

That is my take on it and makes sence in my head.

I just want to know a man has taken the time to read, think and compose a message. If they have taken the time to do that then they will get a reply from me. Those that dont make the effort dont get the effort returned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not thats a thoughtful post.

Its like in a club, there are some that will arrive and talk to 20 women asap, on the assumption one will be a hit.

Then there are the others who will head for the bar, and by the time they talk to someone are too d*unk.

So if i talk to ten women and don't get too pissed...

"

that's where i've been going wrong - I've had 10 "conversations" with "Stella" and ended up going back home with the nice lady in the flourescent jacket..... now what was her name again, WPC ...?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Not thats a thoughtful post.

Its like in a club, there are some that will arrive and talk to 20 women asap, on the assumption one will be a hit.

Then there are the others who will head for the bar, and by the time they talk to someone are too d*unk.

So if i talk to ten women and don't get too pissed...

that's where i've been going wrong - I've had 10 "conversations" with "Stella" and ended up going back home with the nice lady in the flourescent jacket..... now what was her name again, WPC ...?"

WPC...Dom, i think.

Always insists we do everything the way SHE wants to do it.

I NEVER get to cuff her.

And no matter how much i tell her how cute she is all i get back is a steely stare.

Women eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If say man 1 reads my profile and messages me showing he has actually has read my profile and then man number 2 winks at me, I would be more interested that the first man has actually taken time to read my profile and make the effort to form mail to send to me rather than just wink.

Man 1 took the time and effort and man 2 hasnt and probably has winked at the other 30 women showing as online. Man 1 has just finished writing the mail to me and then may only get to read and write mail to 3 others in the time man 2 has winked at 30 possibly.

I think man 1 makes the effort and is about quality and man 2 is about quantity and covering his options so wink as many as possible and he may get lucky.

That is my take on it and makes sence in my head.

I just want to know a man has taken the time to read, think and compose a message. If they have taken the time to do that then they will get a reply from me. Those that dont make the effort dont get the effort returned. "

Exactly all of this, well said. It's also the reason we have the last paragraph in our profile...

I'd say 8/10 emails we get haven't read to the bottom, so they get deleted without being read ever.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am in your court in terms of seeking an acknowledgment of interest before wasting everyone's time!! good man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well put Mike, guess it's just a case of horses for courses and go with your gut and stick with your preference!! Matt

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