FabSwingers.com forum: Abusive when declined

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, I have been here a little while and have spoke to many ladies...and couples and I am truly shocked at how common it is for people to be all nice and when they get declined they then get all abusive !!!

What the fuck is all that about, I know we have the block button but it does not make it right and before you say it, I'm not just on about blokes doing it, apparently their are some ladies too.

Now I have not experienced it myself and would never do such a thing but I would be grateful for someone to shed some light on the subject as I am baffled.

Is it a case of people being too sensitive? The worst I have had is 'sorry, don't do bald men' or ' your fat, no thanks' now I could take that as being abusive but if that offends me then I am surly in the wrong place and enough people have informed me that I am not fat but I am balding lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, you can go from the most gorgeous woman on fab to a fat old cow in the space of one polite message!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep, you can go from the most gorgeous woman on fab to a fat old cow in the space of one polite message! "

But why, what is the point and do those responsible really get meets ?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Yep i got told to f off for saying no thanks last week.Some people take it far too personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, you can go from the most gorgeous woman on fab to a fat old cow in the space of one polite message!

But why, what is the point and do those responsible really get meets ?"

Their fragile ego has been bruised and they lack self confidence so it makes them feel better to belittle you, pretty sad and immature to be honest but it reinforces the decision to not want to meet as the correct one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If I get a thanks but no thanks, I don't just leave it, I will always respond with a 'no worries, enjoy' and then move on, call me old fashioned but it's manners even if you have been rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Can't say Ive had abuse from rejection,I have found that most people are very gracious about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, you can go from the most gorgeous woman on fab to a fat old cow in the space of one polite message!

But why, what is the point and do those responsible really get meets ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha I've never been abusive to someone after a knock back I'm to laid back to give a shit if I'm honest. I've had women tell me I'm fat etc same as though to laid back to care.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I was told I should be grateful for what is offered to me at my age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I get a thanks but no thanks, I don't just leave it, I will always respond with a 'no worries, enjoy' and then move on, call me old fashioned but it's manners even if you have been rejected"

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By *nterracial2Couple
over a year ago

Ribble Valley

I think because people expose themselves here as explicitly and intimately as possible, a rejection comes as a blow to their self esteem. Thus the walls of defence in form of abuse come up.

When's we reject advances we just say no thanks.

We do ask people if they have literacy skills if they don't read our profile and send us a scripted message or a random friend request, but nothing abusive, more along the lines of "have you not read our profile?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Angery outbursts are so symptomatic of low self esteem. Perhaps if they had Moore self esteem they wouldn't get turn down in the first place. People really need how to cope with rejection.

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By *lirtyjjWoman
over a year ago

Meath

And then there's the name calling when you don't take them up on their gracious offer to suck their cock for money!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been called a 'fat bitch' before but the most recent made me laugh because it was a couple who replied that my 'face was too big anyway'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've suffered the worst kind of abusive transphobic hate speech having politely turned people down - much worse than i experience in any other avenue of my life - just have to chalk it up to having a lucky escape, eh?

I've been beaten up before, (not through this site I hasten to add), but once bitten....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thing is when u say no thanks in a bar or club u never get abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes get a snotty reply saying I take it that it's the male who just replied and declined them.

If it makes them feel better let em.

Eat my block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes can be annoying, especially when it takes time to compose something which isn't generic simply to find it deleted. Nothing worth getting upset and abusive over though. I've never received anything bad either.

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By *he Stuff Of LegendMan
over a year ago

Hadfield

"Ok, I have been here a little while and have spoke to many ladies...and couples and I am truly shocked at how common it is for people to be all nice and when they get declined they then get all abusive !!!

What the fuck is all that about, I know we have the block button but it does not make it right and before you say it, I'm not just on about blokes doing it, apparently their are some ladies too.

Now I have not experienced it myself and would never do such a thing but I would be grateful for someone to shed some light on the subject as I am baffled.

The report button is there for a reason along with the block button let the site administrators work out if people like this should be on here. I would say no but saying that money talks.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

That would be my guess too.

But abusive PMs for any reason are not acceptable so you need to report the message and let Admin deal with it.

And the block button is handy too

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