FabSwingers.com forum: Bareback

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No this isn't the usual knock the bare players.It's a genuine question that came to mind after talking to a few women at work. If you were in a new relationship would you be happy to go bare with your new partner or insist you both get tested first ?. Only reason I ask is there was mixed feelings some women said yeah no problem others said not until tested.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Not in a new relationship, and not until I trust the person fully, and we have both been tested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on many things.

First thing that comes to mind is try talking to each other.

There's a possibility that you might learn what you need to know by simply having a chat - and making further decisions from there.

If it were me, I think I'd certainly want to talk about things with said person rather than turning to an Internet forum for advice.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

What a relaxed workplace you have! Of the ones that were fine to got at it, were none of them bothered about babies, std's good test results or not

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Not in a new relationship, and not until I trust the person fully, and we have both been tested."

I get the not till you've both been tested bit but what do you mean by not until you trust the person fully?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

*forgot the question mark!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait till both are tested,it only takes a few mins then just wait for results

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The type of place I work you have to be relaxed. It's mostly the under 40 year old who seem happy to talk about anything. They don't know me and the Mrs swing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/02/15 20:24:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a woman, called Amanda, many of you may have seen her on TV on the morning programmes, like GMTV etc

She was with her fella for a few years prior to them splitting up, then she had a newly formed relationship occur whilst on holiday in Turkey. She had HIV and didn't realise, she had to notify the New guy in her life that's was HIV positive and that she contracted it from her long term (cheating) ex partner....

Morale of then story is that both parties to a newly formulated relationship should insist that it is kept wrapped until they both have themselves checked.

Honesty doesn't actually come into it.... because people may not actually know!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made my husband get tested because he was one of those that can't be using condoms as they make him floppy x

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Not in a new relationship, and not until I trust the person fully, and we have both been tested.

I get the not till you've both been tested bit but what do you mean by not until you trust the person fully?"

Until I trust them - you know, sure that they say what they mean etc, and are true to their word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here."

And they would happily divulge the whole truth about their sexual life to you, prior to having sex with you? Seems unlikely... don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

And they would happily divulge the whole truth about their sexual life to you, prior to having sex with you? Seems unlikely... don't you think?"

Yes obviously it would, although there are quite a few men who havnt had that many partners so the risk would be lesser.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Not in a new relationship, and not until I trust the person fully, and we have both been tested.

I get the not till you've both been tested bit but what do you mean by not until you trust the person fully?

Until I trust them - you know, sure that they say what they mean etc, and are true to their word."

Say what they mean and are true to their word to what? Are you talking monogamy or are you saying you'd have to trust they don't go bareback with anyone else?

I'm not trying to be awkward, I'm genuinely interested in what people mean by saying they have to trust someone before going bareback.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a LOT of people have double standards on this site and its very very easy to preach the saintly and sensible word in black and white, I personally never judge...I've met with 2 women on fab who both said safe sex only etc...had condoms in their pics however when we got down to it they were actually ready to take my length bare!!...it was me who said "shouldn't I put something on"... To which they said " oh yes of course" all coy like...

This site has concreted what I always knew however..none of us have any right to judge ..

Or be judged..

Follow your head.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here."

Of course after all people outside of fab never contract sexual diseases do they

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Not in a new relationship, and not until I trust the person fully, and we have both been tested.

I get the not till you've both been tested bit but what do you mean by not until you trust the person fully?

Until I trust them - you know, sure that they say what they mean etc, and are true to their word.

Say what they mean and are true to their word to what? Are you talking monogamy or are you saying you'd have to trust they don't go bareback with anyone else?

I'm not trying to be awkward, I'm genuinely interested in what people mean by saying they have to trust someone before going bareback."

Well, as I am not at all interested in monogamy, even with my current lover, I would never expect that from anyone. Just honesty about what they do.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

This is a hard one for me to answer, I get tested but I didn't specifically get tested before I went bare with jay but I had used a condom since the last time I'd been checked. Jay wasn't checked but there was a reason why.

IF I was to get in a new relationship I'd want to get us both tested at the same time start with a clean slate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/02/15 21:39:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

Of course after all people outside of fab never contract sexual diseases do they

well yes of course they do, but like I said people who shag lots of people bare back are slightly less more to catch something. its not rocket science is it.

It would seem not.

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By *ebsCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Orpington/london

"No this isn't the usual knock the bare players.It's a genuine question that came to mind after talking to a few women at work. If you were in a new relationship would you be happy to go bare with your new partner or insist you both get tested first ?. Only reason I ask is there was mixed feelings some women said yeah no problem others said not until tested."

Tested before and regularly during the relationship.

Personally we get tested regularly because of work.

For starters the tests only prove on that particular day at that particular moment in time your clear. So say x screwed y bareback monday, y is positive on Tuesday x tested negative on Wednesday it just means the infection hasn't developed into x's blood stream yet.

Hence y if you know you've been exposed to a std or sti you normally get put of antibiotics/hiv medication for normally 5 days to 12 wks depending on your exposure.

And before anyone says anything nasty we know this not because we've experienced it ourselves but our female half is a nurse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

Of course after all people outside of fab never contract sexual diseases do they

Don't you think so.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

Of course after all people outside of fab never contract sexual diseases do they

well yes of course they do, but like I said people who shag lots of people bare back are slightly less more to catch something. its not rocket science is it.

It would seem not."

think I would be quite safe having sex with you, if I wanted to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would."

I am sooooo sure you two have dorian gray paintings somewhere... or you met in nappies... x

Different days now though, sexual health is more of a minefield, and monogamy is less and less common.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would."

Really???

So are you that that 1980! was a safer time for sex or you were younger and naïve...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+. "

Not that many I guess.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+. "

From my experience in my friends group (age 40-ish upwards) very very few... but then to be honest a lot of the younger ones don't either, because its up here, and it'll never happen to them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would go bare, unless I knew they had been on here.

Of course after all people outside of fab never contract sexual diseases do they

well yes of course they do, but like I said people who shag lots of people bare back are slightly less more to catch something. its not rocket science is it.

It would seem not.

think I would be quite safe having sex with you, if I wanted to.

Cheeky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sod it... just think people should be careful, as people may be honest about their activities but unknowingly have a sexual disease. Surely being an adult and using services that are available to protect yourselves is the way to go?

However, once that is all sorted, bare back all the way.... love fucking my Mrs bareback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sod it... just think people should be careful, as people may be honest about their activities but unknowingly have a sexual disease. Surely being an adult and using services that are available to protect yourselves is the way to go?

However, once that is all sorted, bare back all the way.... love fucking my Mrs bareback

That's it...rub it in...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would.

Really???

So are you that that 1980! was a safer time for sex or you were younger and naïve..."

I have no idea if it was safer but things were very different then, safe sex meant don't do it in the middle lane of the motorway and there was little or no awareness of hiv and aids. Of course we were younger and more naive but the education and information wasn't there either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a LOT of people have double standards on this site and its very very easy to preach the saintly and sensible word in black and white, I personally never judge...I've met with 2 women on fab who both said safe sex only etc...had condoms in their pics however when we got down to it they were actually ready to take my length bare!!...it was me who said "shouldn't I put something on"... To which they said " oh yes of course" all coy like...

This site has concreted what I always knew however..none of us have any right to judge ..

Or be judged..

Follow your head.x"

Very well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have safe sex till I trusted them and then not until we was both tested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However, once that is all sorted, bare back all the way.... love fucking my Mrs bareback

That's it...rub it in...

Sorry fella!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+. "

To my admittedly limited knowledge among my social circle I am the only person who has either admitted to being tested or regularly at that.

I have to have regular medicals and eye tests for my career so going to the SH Clinic is no different.

Tell a lie one mate did after he developed symptoms turned out to be Chlamydia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would.

Really???

So are you that that 1980! was a safer time for sex or you were younger and naïve...

But in all honesty do you not think that there is SO much scaremongering these days with the internet and such, one clown started a thread saying 1 in 4 people have aids...with NO facts to back it up..I'm all fore being safe etc..but I think its so easy these days to start a panic..

Fuck I miss the 80s...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Having been in a relationship for 34 years I can say that neither of us got tested before we had unprotected sex with each other. That was then, if it was now we would.

Really???

So are you that that 1980! was a safer time for sex or you were younger and naïve...

Fuck I miss the 80s..."

There was scaremongering then too but as you say with the net it spreads like wildfire. I think most intelligent people ask questions rather than believe what they read on a screen.

I don't miss the eighties, all those perms!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if you trust the person and have stated that you are going to be monogamous, wait 3-6 months and get tested together. Different tests can reveal if you are HIV+ at earlier times. Last time I read about it, 3 months was the fastest way to be fairly certain with a particular test that you are negative. Getting tested together isn’t necessary, but I have heard horror stories of people finding ways to cheat the system and give false results to their partner. Obviously trust is huge when it comes to this subject, as any cheating bareback can change everything about your HIV status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+.

From my experience in my friends group (age 40-ish upwards) very very few... but then to be honest a lot of the younger ones don't either, because its up here, and it'll never happen to them...

Some swingers think the same. I think people think that using condoms mean you're immune from 'all that'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+.

From my experience in my friends group (age 40-ish upwards) very very few... but then to be honest a lot of the younger ones don't either, because its up here, and it'll never happen to them...

Some swingers think the same. I think people think that using condoms mean you're immune from 'all that'.

I tend to fuck in a full latex bodysuit these days...

Snorkel and goggles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be interested to know how many people outside the swinging world bother to get tested. In particular people 40+.

From my experience in my friends group (age 40-ish upwards) very very few... but then to be honest a lot of the younger ones don't either, because its up here, and it'll never happen to them...

Some swingers think the same. I think people think that using condoms mean you're immune from 'all that'.

I tend to fuck in a full latex bodysuit these days...

Snorkel and goggles

But not flippers. That would be weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was silly and neive when I met the kids dad. We used condoms for 3weeks I went on the pill and went bareback. Being a virgin at the time I'd met him I didn't think about him being tested.

If I were to enter a full time relationship then I'd insist on a test. But still use condoms. Female contraception I had trouble with and got pregnant twice while on it.

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By *oliath AwaitsMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

As a guy I would want her tested first but would get tested also as it makes sense for all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/15 08:09:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the first time I heard about HIV and Herpes was in 1981, read about it in a magazine.

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