FabSwingers.com forum: What makes people think you have not read there messages?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have had this a few times now we will recieve a message from soembody read it and then delete it and then we get a sometimes very snooty and rude message saying "well you could have at least read the message and not just delete it!"

We always read our messages and really do try hard to reply to everyone when we can but will be honest and say if we get a message from somebody who obviously has not read our profile then we too sometimes cannot be bothered to message them back

I know you can see if a sent message has bean read and if it has been deleted so just because it has been deleted why do a lot of people think that its not been read first ?

Sorry for the moan but its happened twice this morning

D&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happens to us too - we get so many messages and have to delete the unsuitable rapidly so we don't lose the ones we want to keep.

Itf they're very unsuitable and obviously haven't read our profile, we block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said the same thing a week ago, lots of people say it "why delete a message without reading it", I asked "how do they know it wasn't read and only deleted, most of the messages that get instantly deleted are one liners that only take a few seconds to read then delete.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I said the same thing a week ago, lots of people say it "why delete a message without reading it", I asked "how do they know it wasn't read and only deleted, most of the messages that get instantly deleted are one liners that only take a few seconds to read then delete."

Yep thats exactly it a lot of people seem to think that a deleted message is an unread message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we could have a new function where a message has been read and if you are not interested you can tick a box which says 'Sorry not for me/us but good luck' this way some sort of response has been sent and no one hopefully gets offended.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Who bloody cares!!! if i have deleted thier mail i dont give a stuff what they think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

probably cause you never replied with a "no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for extra buttons, it would be a whole lot easier if people just used their common sense, its simple really, if someone deletes our message, they obviously aint interested, and we don’t need or want an automated reply to work that one out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe we could have a new function where a message has been read and if you are not interested you can tick a box which says 'Sorry not for me/us but good luck' this way some sort of response has been sent and no one hopefully gets offended."

This idea has been asked about a few times in the past.

The general thoughts are that then people will whinge that they arent getting a personal no thanks reply - which tbh I do think will happen.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"probably cause you never replied with a "no thanks""

The only time we will do that is when the sender just has not spent even a second reading our profile so our motto now is if they cannot be bothered to read our profile then we cannot be bothered to reply

And don't get us started on some of the peeps who we do send a "No thanks but good luck" mesage too then send us countless messages asking us why we are saying no and what are we doing on a swinging site if we dont meet!

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

We only receive a modest number of messages, unlike the elite single fems,

so we always reply, even to the one-liners, unless they are offensive or OTT

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I get lots of messages on average which is lovely but I delete without opening those that I can see the message is just "hi hows you" or wow your sexy, or a simple one liner.

They get deleted immediately without reading them.

If I open it and it shows they clearly havent read my profile as mine has clear choices of what I am looking for, then that gets deleted.

Sometime they will get a reply from me they dont want!

If I delete mail or reply with a curt message if they clearly havent read my profile then they should already have cottoned on that I am not interested.

I do normally reply to everyone that I know full well that have read my profile and on average maybe 80% dont read my profile.

So the other 20% do get a reply and sometimes a thanks for reading my profile but not what I am looking for, other times a oooo yesssss.

If its deleted people are not interested tho,very simple really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who bloody cares!!! if i have deleted thier mail i dont give a stuff what they think."
And we blokes are the ones being branded with the bad name! As a bloke i can assure you it does matter. . .if i meet requirements and put the effort in why shouldnt my message be read? And why is it unreasonable to expect a polite no thanks if I am just not quite their type? I dont expect people to want to sleep with me but I do expect a basic level of curtesy. .especially from the people who demand it themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who bloody cares!!! if i have deleted thier mail i dont give a stuff what they think."

i agree there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who bloody cares!!! if i have deleted thier mail i dont give a stuff what they think. And we blokes are the ones being branded with the bad name! As a bloke i can assure you it does matter. . .if i meet requirements and put the effort in why shouldnt my message be read? And why is it unreasonable to expect a polite no thanks if I am just not quite their type? I dont expect people to want to sleep with me but I do expect a basic level of curtesy. .especially from the people who demand it themselves.

Don’t let it grind you down, it’s a well-known fact us ladies can cum here and punch above our weight, especially the munters, but don’t worry, not all of us let the attention get the better of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always reply to those who we know haven't even bother to read our profile 'Read Profiles'. of course its mainly single guys. but they soon get the messages. and the ones we not into we send 'no thanks'. i think it has worked for us. a simple yes or a no in my opinion seems to work, and if they persist to ignore the latter, Blocked!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Don’t let it grind you down, it’s a well-known fact us ladies can cum here and punch above our weight, especially the munters, but don’t worry, not all of us let the attention get the better of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
Oh I wont. . . Luckily there are plenty of nice genuine couples and women on here who make up for the short comings of the idiots. . . Just like there are nice guys to make up for the timewasting and fake blokes. . . Its all a game . . .I guess . . Lol

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

tough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tough."

If you want a polite no thanks why not try auditioning for the ex factor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You see that they have pretty much insta deleted, you have made an effort , read their profile and you tick all the boxes and they delete without even looking at your profile! That can be irritating.

Problem is for most men is they send a well written message only to get no reply and deletion. They will get fed up of this and resort to quick to the point msgs which people dont like.

If people won't make the effort for a polite reply why should they bother to make the effort?!

It's a bad negative feedback loop sadly

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"You see that they have pretty much insta deleted, you have made an effort , read their profile and you tick all the boxes and they delete without even looking at your profile! That can be irritating.

Problem is for most men is they send a well written message only to get no reply and deletion. They will get fed up of this and resort to quick to the point msgs which people dont like.

If people won't make the effort for a polite reply why should they bother to make the effort?!

It's a bad negative feedback loop sadly"

I would 'hope' people do make the effort to read my profile.... after all I took the time and effort to write it. Sadly less than 1 in 20 do read my profile before sending a message.

I often look at the message sender's profile before reading the message...... but the sender of the message would never know that.You don't have to open the message to look at the profile of the person who sent it.

Why do people talk about sending messages to people they are interested in as being an 'effort'.... fuck me, if spending a minute or two typing a few lines is an effort I had better forget about the 'effort' of them washing, dressing, driving, turning-up and so on.

Why do some people seem to assume there are only two types of first message:

1 – the autobiography (which 99/100 are cut and pastes – so it was only an 'effort' the first time it was written)

2 – the generic one liner

What about a simple message saying hello, this is what I like about your profile and why I am sending a message to you. If that seems like too much effort (regardless of how many messages someone has had deleted) … then quite frankly they can go fuck a tramp under a bridge for all I care…. coz they ain’t fucking me.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

" If that seems like too much effort (regardless of how many messages someone has had deleted) … then quite frankly they can go fuck a tramp under a bridge for all I care…. coz they ain’t fucking me.

Dont forget us girls are punching above our weight...we should be grateful for mail

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dont forget us girls are punching above our weight...we should be grateful for mail

And I am sure the tramp under the bridge will be grateful too.

I will gladly punch above my weight and don't have any quarms about guys knowingly punching below theirs (its only a sexual arrangement after all)...... as long as they don't bring along the attitude of dropping a weight or two means they are 'owed' something.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Seriously mate... you'll have a happier cyber-life if you leave the sensitivity at the login page.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we like it when someone reads the first bit of the message without opening it then go back off line as if they havent read it . why not just read the whole message and if they are not interested just say. for fuck sake we all get knocked back at sometime or we will eventually . anyway i saw four people walking round the block with a coffin im sure they lost the plot lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes indeed , sensitive people should not be swingers !

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"we like it when someone reads the first bit of the message without opening it then go back off line as if they havent read it ."

How would you know they have looked?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Oh yes indeed , sensitive people should not be swingers !"

If they can't leave certain bits of that sensitivity at the login page - then may be you have a point and they shouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/10 21:04:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get enough messages for it to be a problem.

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But one can go into the sent folder and it clearly says whether your message has been read, unread or deleted, so whats the point in a button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ya msg is deleted y don't ya just block the person you sent it to then they can't annoy you anymore there loss move onto the nxt that you like there's enough peeps on here to find a match surely ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think how you deal with a message can come down to a few checks.

For me they are

-have they read my profile?

-is it a one liner?

-are they compatable?

after the basic checks it comes to

-if it's a one liner and i'm not busy, don't have much on and is at least witty, i may look at the profile, this is not always the case, if i'm busy i will just delete it

-if it's a well thought through message and i like the profile i will more than likely respond, possibly not always immediately, but i will get around to it, even if it's a polite thanks, but no thanks (even if we're compatible, sometimes the message can tell you enough to make you realise you wont gel, compatability is only one dimension)

my decision to meet someone on the back of that will be dependent on how well we have gotten on since and what else is going on in my life.

being on the site does not mean i am going to deal with mail, it's not just about having the time, its being in the mind set to read them and i guess my responses are also dependent on what else is going on.

i'm flattered when a guy takes the time to read my profile and write a response, regardless of whether it's a yes or no, so will always be courteous...no less so than when someone approaches me when i'm out and about. it's a compliment and I treat it as such. (note: this doesnt apply to the ones that are crude or graphic, they are disrespectful and automatically get deleted)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats with "their loss" all the time??? do people really think they are all that, if the people doing the deleting think your not for them how can they lose?? as I see it it's no-ones loss, it's the first contact and they have decided that their is no first spark to continue any further ando they move on so why can't others accept a deleted msg is a no thanx and also move on instead of getting bitter that they got no reply, can I ask a question...do you send a letter back to the companies that send all the junk mail through your letterbox?? if not why not??? it's the same on here, it's all junk mail untill 1 actually catches your attention.

Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can I ask a question...do you send a letter back to the companies that send all the junk mail through your letterbox?? if not why not??? it's the same on here, it's all junk mail untill 1 actually catches your attention.

Just my opinion.

Mr"

i do if it's in a pre-paid envelope and i shove in other junk mail and let them pick up the extra cost of postage; it gives me a sense of quid pro quo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just my opinion.

i do if it's in a pre-paid envelope and i shove in other junk mail and let them pick up the extra cost of postage; it gives me a sense of quid pro quo

I like your style

although if we did that it would all get sent back to sender

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my opinion.

i do if it's in a pre-paid envelope and i shove in other junk mail and let them pick up the extra cost of postage; it gives me a sense of quid pro quo

I like your style

although if we did that it would all get sent back to sender

only if they know who the sender is!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

If people are so sensitive to worry about read and deleted messages v's unread and deleted messages............... Don't send any.

Off to sort out the world economic crisis.

I am white hot today with solutions.

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