FabSwingers.com forum: is this site right for me?

By *omer47 OP Man
over a year ago

leigh

hi all,im an attached male seeking a dominant female,(local 2 me),thats in2 bdsm fun...&/or a female that would like 2 use me as her cuckold...must be in bolton,wigan,mcr,warrington areas,possibly preston or oldham area..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi all,im an attached male seeking a dominant female,(local 2 me),thats in2 bdsm fun...&/or a female that would like 2 use me as her cuckold...must be in bolton,wigan,mcr,warrington areas,possibly preston or oldham area.."
..... is this site right for me [ quote].... im an attached male. Why dont you ask your partner if this is the right site for you.

we'd say no it is NOT the right site for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi all,im an attached male seeking a dominant female,(local 2 me),thats in2 bdsm fun...&/or a female that would like 2 use me as her cuckold...must be in bolton,wigan,mcr,warrington areas,possibly preston or oldham area....... is this site right for me [ quote].... im an attached male. Why dont you ask your partner if this is the right site for you.

we'd say no it is NOT the right site for you

Have to agree here. There are other sites that cater for those that are playing away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've been on site over a year: long enough to draw your own conclusion I would have thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own. Best not to judge eh? Especially if you have no knowledge of the reasons why he's seeking extra-marital fun.

To the OP:

If you're looking for BDSM fun, your best bet is to browse through the profiles highlighting BDSM play as your search criteria.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to thier own - Yes, but do it on a Married and Cheating site not on a Swingers Site.

There is no mention on his profile that he is "playing away" so people who do not agree with what he does could easily be duped into being part of something they don't want to.

There is no excuse for cheating on a partner, unless perhaps that they are in a long term coma and you are therefore unable to tell them what your doing.

So I say yes your on the wrong site, your choice to do anything you want but do it on a site that welcomes it and caters for it.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Not going to judge you at all but yes maybe check profiles for ppl with similar intrests to yourself .

oh and btw is it wise to have a face pic on when your playing away ?

just a thought

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

A self confessed "cheater" on here, and it gets less than half a dozen posts in 5 hours.

Did the world change it's axis when i was sleeping last night.

This kind of thing would normally have me reaching for my "emergency thread" cupboard.

(though Rugby says i'm not allowed firearms anymore)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely, the simple answer to the OP’s question is straightforward enough…. If he is getting any success via Fabswingers…Its Yes!,,,,,, if he is not …… its No…!!!! or as a Geordie version of Spock might be inclined to say…. Logically ya-bugga-man….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personnally I'm sick and tired of having married or attached men wanting to meet me. This is a swinging site, there fore if I get to know someone well enough I'd like to swing with them. And as we all know that takes planning, time and patience for private meets or at best an entire free evening for a club. Do I want my evening cut short? NO. Do I want my partner to climb off me, only to run to the showers to then be told please don't kiss me again as I've showered & the wife may smell you on me? NO.

I deserve better. And in my opinion, so do the wives of the blokes that join swinging sites not to swing, but to get quick shags.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

In short, the answer to the question is

"Despite the majority preferring it not to be, this is *a* right site for what you seek, although there may be other, better ones"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh very well put SDM...was that an attempt at calming the situation?! I'm in a bad mood today so you may need to follow me round the forums smoothing out any ruffles I may cause!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the question is are you right for the site??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this site caters for anyone and everyone...some ladies prefer to meet attached males (not me, personal preference)

I wouldnt come on here and judge someone their choices though...especially since society thinks what this site represents as a whole is immoral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this site caters for anyone and everyone...some ladies prefer to meet attached males (not me, personal preference)

I wouldnt come on here and judge someone their choices though...especially since society thinks what this site represents as a whole is immoral."

...just be considerate enough not to message ladies that state on their profils that they do not wish to be messaged by attached men....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care what society thinks of us because I don't interfere with them and don't swing in public but I do have an opinion on what happens within the scene.

The OP asked a question and we have all answered it with our own opinions, no malice, no insults just honest opinions.

If your going to be on here behind a partners back at least state that on a profile and allow others to make thier own minds up.

Whatever your personal preference in swinging it boils down to "like minded people doing what they do with each others consent" that requires total honesty to those that you choose to do it with even if your not honest about it with others.

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By *WLondonMixMan
over a year ago

Willsden/DollisHill

"I wouldnt come on here and judge someone their choices though...especially since society thinks what this site represents as a whole is immoral."

Well said,

This site does not judge those of there own accord. if you ask for peoples opinions on a situation naturally some may voice criticism and others advice. End of the day your getti

ng what you requested. I suggest since you have become open now about being 'attatched' rather vague, could mean anything from a wife to a siemese twin!, you should put it on your profile. This site if full of diverse people and it can be the right site for anyone as long as you understand how to use it. Search bdsm and READ profiles, ones that clearly state NO ATTATCHED men keep going past. Also if you don't decide to place in your profile your correct status at least mention it in your first message to people. The Truth Shall set u free

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Oh very well put SDM...was that an attempt at calming the situation?! I'm in a bad mood today so you may need to follow me round the forums smoothing out any ruffles I may cause!

Are you asking me to "watch your back"....?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Oh very well put SDM...was that an attempt at calming the situation?! I'm in a bad mood today so you may need to follow me round the forums smoothing out any ruffles I may cause!

Are you asking me to "watch your back"....?

Dunno, but i'd be happy to smooth her "ruffles".

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

i dont agree that anyone needs to put married or attatched on their profile i think this will just cause people to think they can mail people and be judgemental as long as they tell the people they intend to meet then thats all that should matter .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have married on my profile as i thought it was best to let the people know , i still get meets , and if when searching their profile states no married then its easy to , errr just not msg them ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back watching and ruffle smoothing is very welcome boys, thankyou

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Simultaneously?

;-)

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Each to thier own - Yes, but do it on a Married and Cheating site not on a Swingers Site.

There is no mention on his profile that he is "playing away" so people who do not agree with what he does could easily be duped into being part of something they don't want to.

There is no excuse for cheating on a partner, unless perhaps that they are in a long term coma and you are therefore unable to tell them what your doing.

So I say yes your on the wrong site, your choice to do anything you want but do it on a site that welcomes it and caters for it."

Good for you... That saved me composing and writing what I wanted to say.. Thanks Jed.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I do think people should put if they are attatched on their profile so those who do not meet attatched people can avoid them.

Its choice, I choose to meet men,about my age and dont mind if they are bi or not and that they are local and.....

If a person is attatched and not states it on their profile it feels to me they are hiding the fact(not being honest)

I dont want to spend 3 months mailing and getting to know a person to then find out just before the meet or during the meet or after the meet they are married. Thats to me is being very secret/shifty with the truth.

I would rather to read their profile and see the word attatched and then move on immediately to the next that doesnt say attatched.

I would hate a man to turn up to be the very opposite of what he has told me he is. Like told me he is 6 foot and actually turns out to be 5 foot 5. Maybe he used to be 6 foot but has shrank or something lol.

You know what I mean tho. Especially when everyone should have the choice for the truth.

I did meet a person who was lovely and the meet was great til he sat in my house and told me about his partner.

I would say if your attatched then put it on your profile but preferably go to a site where people who cheat on their partners are welcomed/accepted/the norm and find the BDSm or whatever its called you want.

Is there a BDSM site?

I have been told there are sites for those cheating on partners so my opinion would be try those.

But good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can both handle me together then why not?!

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Well i am not going to jump on the band wagon as i don't know what you mean by attached.

Now if your partner is aware of what you are doing fair enough. However if you are cheating then you will get short shift from many as swinging has a nasty habit of making some insecure in their relationships.

On the matter in point, is fab for you? Well there are far better BDSM sites if that's your main craving. And for a cuckold relationship it has to have emotional meaning so it might be better to introduce your partner to fab so she can play and you become cuckold.

The best advice is to be very specific on your profile as to your desires. But ultimately register on a BDSM site as well. There is no law regarding how many sites you can register on.

If you do decide the cuckold route is for you get the wife/partner to message me with a pic and i will see what i can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you do decide the cuckold route is for you get the wife/partner to message me with a pic and i will see what i can do. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i am not going to jump on the band wagon as i don't know what you mean by attached.

The best advice is to be very specific on your profile as to your desires. But ultimately register on a BDSM site as well. There is no law regarding how many sites you can register on.

If you do decide the cuckold route is for you get the wife/partner to message me with a pic and i will see what i can do. "

Couples do not play with people who are cheating on thier own partners because they are insecure in thier own relationship - what utter crap, if I was insecure in my relationship I would not swing at all, if I was pushed into doing it by my partner or stupid enough to do it when my relationship was in a shaky state then I would prefer someone who was in love with thier own partner but fancied a bit on the side without them knowing, they would probably be less interested in trying to meet my partner without me, less interested in a long term relatioship with either of us, less likely to run around telling everyone about it.

That sounds like a ploy used by desperate people trying to justify what they do or using reverse physcology to say "meet us cheats or everyone will think your insecure"

Right to question what he actually meant by "attached" totally wrong in his assumption that so many swingers are insecure in their relationships when usually the opposite is true.

We swing because our relationship can handle it, because we have complete and utter trust of each other, because we both enjoy what we do in and out of the swinging scene.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A self confessed "cheater" on here, and it gets less than half a dozen posts in 5 hours.

Did the world change it's axis when i was sleeping last night.

This kind of thing would normally have me reaching for my "emergency thread" cupboard.

(though Rugby says i'm not allowed firearms anymore)

Warming up now though...

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Well said jed sasha.

Stating that couples are insecure in their relationship is so wrong.

In some that is the case but as you so correctly said they shouldnt be doing this as they have a very clear ulterior motive.

Couples need to be secure in their relationship to be able to do this safely and without ruining their relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont understnd where the opninion that attached guyas playing as single are not welcome on this site has come from?

it's not my opinion and i am part of this site and it's not the opinion of many others on this site who are quite happy to meet attached males/females (let's be honest, it's not just men doing this!).

Nor do I recall, when I joined, signing a waiver that confirmed my singledom with the total understanding that i would be booted of if that proved to be inacurate.

this site has it's own set of policies and guidlines and as long as they're being respected, play on I say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This must be a "if the cap fits post" I certainly dont think singles cheating or otherwise shouldn't be here, I do think cheating is despicable and unforgiveable but that is my opinion of it, it doesn't mean I think they shouldn't be allowed here.

As I said in my last post I think a lot of people do like to meet those who are cheating for the reasons I stated, we are just not in that group of people.

From what I have read comments have been said saying such things as "many", "most", "some" and I haven't seen any posts saying the site should prevent them joining or ban those that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont understnd where the opninion that attached guyas playing as single are not welcome on this site has come from?

Nor do I recall, when I joined, signing a waiver that confirmed my singledom with the total understanding that i would be booted of if that proved to be inacurate.

this site has it's own set of policies and guidlines and as long as they're being respected, play on I say.

Cheating is NOT swinging, when we signed up it said a website created for swingers, each to their own though, don’t care who’s here though, as long as they are up front about it and understand that some people want no part in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This must be a "if the cap fits post" I certainly dont think singles cheating or otherwise shouldn't be here, I do think cheating is despicable and unforgiveable but that is my opinion of it, it doesn't mean I think they shouldn't be allowed here.

As I said in my last post I think a lot of people do like to meet those who are cheating for the reasons I stated, we are just not in that group of people.

From what I have read comments have been said saying such things as "many", "most", "some" and I haven't seen any posts saying the site should prevent them joining or ban those that do."

Each to thier own - Yes, but do it on a Married and Cheating site not on a Swingers Site.

So I say yes your on the wrong site, your choice to do anything you want but do it on a site that welcomes it and caters for it.

Ok, not trying to cause any riots on this thread, but both the comments above were posted by your good self. I don't know if I just misinterpreted them, but they do seem to infer that 'cheatinf' on this particular site is not welcomed.

Btw, I totally agree with you about cheating without a partners knowledge from a moral stance, but thankfully it's not my conscience that has to deal with that x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and here you are again.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they are my personal opinions not the opinions of everyone on here or the rules/opinions of the site.

I made my personal _iews obvious whilst pointing out that nobody was breaking any rules by being on here.

I also pointed out how some people here welcome guys who are married and cheating and some of the reasons why they prefer them to single males.

I gave a personal opinion whilst unbiasedly showing how some support an opposite _iew to my own,

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I think that a lot of people have assumed that the OP is cheating on his partner when all he has said is that he is attached. Being an attached swinger doesn't have to mean one's partner is unaware of what is happening.

Like the OP, I'm attached. Do all the comments that have been posted about using other sites instead of Fab apply to me too?

I joined the site when I was single, but have since got back together with my wife. She is aware that I'm still on this site, but she chooses to not use it herself - although she swings too. We swing separately, and that suits us both. Do those comments still apply to me now I've explained my circumstances?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"must be" bldy cheek!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt come on here and judge someone their choices though...especially since society thinks what this site represents as a whole is immoral.

Well said,

This site does not judge those of there own accord. if you ask for peoples opinions on a situation naturally some may voice criticism and others advice. End of the day your getti

could be he's attached to the bed posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in which case you need to change your profile to "cannot travel".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that a lot of people have assumed that the OP is cheating on his partner when all he has said is that he is attached. Being an attached swinger doesn't have to mean one's partner is unaware of what is happening.

Like the OP, I'm attached. Do all the comments that have been posted about using other sites instead of Fab apply to me too?

You are a swinger doing what you do with your partners consent, exactly what swinging is about so there is no reason why comments about cheating should apply to you.

I myself am married and my wife doesn't know what I am doing, but since I haven't seen her for at least 12 years I couldn't care less and neither does she or the woman I live with, as in all things there are exceptions to the rule, you have explained your personal situation explicitly in your profile, nobody could ask for more.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Phew, does that mean I can stay then? I quite like it here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its entirely up to the individual what they put on their profile, to quote a phrase that is often used in here 'its their choice'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think its entirely up to the individual what they put on their profile, to quote a phrase that is often used in here 'its their choice'

Agree! But you should also give others the choice too! If you see someone is a non smoker and you smoke would you remove "smoker" to get a meet?

Some people choose not to meet married/attached men. They're not saying they should be on Marital Affairs they just don't want to play, or doesn't it matter as long as you get your end away?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not up to me to judge anyone on whether they are attached and cheating or not, I dont care. To us this is a sex site, we look upon it as a huge adventure. As long as a person is respectful and understand the agreement if you decide to swing and uses protection then to me thats all that matters. sometimes i do think that perhaps people want a little more than great sex on here, and maybe they should be upfront on their profiles about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" sometimes i do think that perhaps people want a little more than great sex on here, and maybe they should be upfront on their profiles about that. "

I think that too sometimes, especially when you read threads about emotions and swinging, how some people get upset if their playmates don't contact them between meets etc, but I think most on here have been cheated on and don't want to enable someone to.

The same for some couples too. They see swinging as a shared experience, inviting a third person into their lives. Someone cheating on their partner would not suit some while it's perfect for others as it's less likely to be "threatening".

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think that in the threads about emotions alot of people (couples too) said they couldnt swing without emotions ie lust, passion,excitement.

Think maybe your confusing the emotion issue with people looking for partners on this site rather than a dating site.

Think emotion in sex and people looking for partners on a swing site are 2 seperate issue really xx

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

Someone cheating on their partner would not suit some while it's perfect for others as it's less likely to be "threatening".

unless like what I had happen about 18 months ago a "single guy"'s wife called threatening me.If the cheating person is up front with potential playmates then at least that gives them the choice to say no, not for me or yes doesn't bother me.But saying you are single when you aren't can cause a lot of grief in the end, as I found out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like the OP, I'm attached. Do all the comments that have been posted about using other sites instead of Fab apply to me too?

Excellent post, I'm surprised it took so long for someone to point out the obvious.

The OP mentioned his status, but he didn't outline the circumstances of his relationship. We met people before as a couple, and one partner has lost interest in the lifestyle but been quite happy that her partner meets independently.

If the OP had said he was cheating and his hapless wife was totally unaware of his activities then the criticism might be justified, however as some have pointed out there are plenty of people here who prefer meeting attached singletons.

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