FabSwingers.com forum: why blocking or deleting is kinder

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ok I will give you the gist...

Fab1: Hello you look nice would you like to talk and possibly meet?

I go and duly look at the profile of the sender.

Me: Hello, thank you for your message but you live in Wales (160 miles away) so I can't see that this will happen but thank you for you for contacting me.

Fab1: Ah but my head offices are in Suffolk pass you sometimes in my Lorry.

Me: Wow that's some journey you have to do but I'm sorry It wont work

anyway a few more messages pass and I log off...

First time I come back on

Fab1: I've sent you a friends request I want to talk to you on the phone are you ignoring me.

Me: No I'm not ignoring you I just don't think this is going to happen.

Fab1: Please talk to me

A few more messages past and then, the coward I am I log off... come back on later and make sure that Fab1 is logged off then delete messages and block him...

Poor chap I know it's not nice of me but in the first message exchange I explained that it wasn't going to happen and my reasons why but then I get a whole raft of messages ignoring the basic facts we live 160 miles from each other... I thought I would try to be a nicer me

instead I end up feeling like the Devil

... In future I think it is far easier to block the sender and delete the message... Any thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure you're allowed to put up the content of private messages. Say thanks but no thanks then block, end of conversation.

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

Yeah I agree if dont take any notice I block when necessary.

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

Dunno why you think you've not been nice? You politely declined the chap and he wouldn't take no for an answer. We'd block without a thought and it's one of the reasons the block button is there xx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Blocking saves time and effort and stops any issues about expectations. As above, it's there for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dunno why you think you've not been nice? You politely declined the chap and he wouldn't take no for an answer. We'd block without a thought and it's one of the reasons the block button is there xx"

We would have said no and blocked him if he letters us after the first time of saying no

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

You said all you needed to say in the first reply, which was a polite refusal. Ignore and / or block after further contact is the best way.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"You said all you needed to say in the first reply, which was a polite refusal. Ignore and / or block after further contact is the best way."

This....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/15 08:04:19]

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

That's a lot of messages you sent. Maybe too many. Just say no and block, don't lead them on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not sure you're allowed to put up the content of private messages. Say thanks but no thanks then block, end of conversation."

Lol that wasn't the real message and that wasn't his name it was just to give you a flavour of the conversation... I'm really really not that evil !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say the guy isn't my type, sorry.

If you're telling him the reason you won't meet is distance, he will try to overcome it. But he can't suddenly become another "type".

And then block after that.

I've just blocked a guy who has messaged me several times. I've ignored and finally said he's not my type. He took it well and thanked me for my honesty.

Two weeks later he sends another message saying he can see we chatted but can't remember what about and can we meet up on x day?

And... BLOCK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's kinder because it will allow him to move on, with or without his lorry.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block is a tool, not a weapon

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

You made a rookie mistake by giving a reason for turning him down. A straightforward "thanks for your interest but no thanks" with no explanations works better cos they can't argue with that.

Then if they push for why just say that you don't fancy them. None of this is rude or mean and everything can stay on friendly terms. Unless of course they get arsey about it... Then report and block!

Don't forget to keep a private note (if you're a site supporter) of who you've turned down.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"The block is a tool, not a weapon"

So is a hammer but wielded wildly can be a weapon.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"You made a rookie mistake by giving a reason for turning him down. A straightforward "thanks for your interest but no thanks" with no explanations works better cos they can't argue with that.

Don't forget to keep a private note (if you're a site supporter) of who you've turned down."

Agree with all of this, except for responding to someone who is pushing for a reason.

A polite thanks but no thanks is all you ever need to tell someone. Any more than that and you are inviting unwanted contact.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You made a rookie mistake by giving a reason for turning him down. A straightforward "thanks for your interest but no thanks" with no explanations works better cos they can't argue with that.

Don't forget to keep a private note (if you're a site supporter) of who you've turned down."

I've done the thanks but no thanks on previous stays on here... And I've done the straight block and delete however... this new me thought hell let's try and be kinder... Seems there really is no right or wrong way to say no thanks xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't engage in any further conversation after the initial refusal. If you have said "no" there really is nothing more to be said.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Well, would disagree with that too. Politely and finally is the right way to say no thanks.

Of course, you don't even technically owe anyone that, but then that's a whole other topic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't engage in any further conversation after the initial refusal. If you have said "no" there really is nothing more to be said.

Exactly this. No point wasting your time or theirs conversing when you're not interested.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Don't engage in any further conversation after the initial refusal. If you have said "no" there really is nothing more to be said.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If you've said no, don't get involved in further conversation.

Him - hello, I'm interested

You - sorry, you're too far away

Him - but I can travel/I pass by regularly

You - thank you for your interest but I am not interested in meeting or chatting further.

Either block then or block if he messages again.

A block just means you don't want contact/further contact (or you don't want to see that person's photos on the local update list etc.) It's nothing to feel mean about.

Pestering people who have said no is not cool and it should be him feeling bad, not you.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"The block is a tool, not a weapon"

Exactly, it's not some sort of punishment lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The block is a tool, not a weapon

Exactly, it's not some sort of punishment lol"

Lots of men think it is though.

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