FabSwingers.com forum: UNPLEASANT Experiences in the Lifestyle.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Be nice to know what other members come across and how thay managed the situation. What are the causes jealous husbands, D*unk woman , pushy singles ? jo xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man who was obsessed with anal and I wasn't. Had to ask him to leave when he wouldn't stop trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh where do we satrt......lol. we ahd a few very unpleasant experiences.....guy beat his wife up in our home, guy thought very rough sex with me (E) was acceptable... guy pushes my hubby away from his wife ...... we habdled it by stoping play and leaving or asking them to leave then blocked them..... no room for ppl like that in the swinging work in our opinion xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man who was obsessed with anal and I wasn't. Had to ask him to leave when he wouldn't stop trying.

"
wow thats thats a bad one should have used a huge vibe on him see if he liked lmao........ why do ppl act against others dislikes is beyond me xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would luv to respond but the lady in question might read it here , it was embabrassing for her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would luv to respond but the lady in question might read it here , it was embabrassing for her.

"
well now you have us gessing ,, think we can say things with out others thinking its them as people come across all sorts.. Just help knowing its not only you who gets the crap from others. jo xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man who was obsessed with anal and I wasn't. Had to ask him to leave when he wouldn't stop trying.

wow thats thats a bad one should have used a huge vibe on him see if he liked lmao........ why do ppl act against others dislikes is beyond me xxx"

It isn't listed as an interest on my profile. I kept saying no, I don't like that. But he kept sneaking his tongue, fingers in whenever he could. Then when he asked to try doggy style....ohhhh no. Can you leave now please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man who was obsessed with anal and I wasn't. Had to ask him to leave when he wouldn't stop trying.

wow thats thats a bad one should have used a huge vibe on him see if he liked lmao........ why do ppl act against others dislikes is beyond me xxx

"
good for you, i dont blame you xxxxx

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

"Man who was obsessed with anal and I wasn't. Had to ask him to leave when he wouldn't stop trying.

Hope you made him leave by the rear entrance, just to rub it in? (Sorry, couldn't resist

)

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Single men pretending to be couples, with pathetic excuses when you meet like "she's not feeling well" etc. We just walk away!

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"It isn't listed as an interest on my profile. I kept saying no, I don't like that. But he kept sneaking his tongue, fingers in whenever he could. Then when he asked to try doggy style....ohhhh no. Can you leave now please

Just to play Devil's Advocate here, he might not have been "obsessed by anal". "Anal" to me means sticking my penis into an anus. Fingering or rimming wouldn't come under the category "anal" to me, unless you specifically said "Do NOT go near my arsehole, do not touch, STAY AWAY", then obviously I wouldn't go near it. Perhaps he was just a sensual lover who liked to use the whole canvas, rather than "tits first, then clit, full penetration in missionary position, and finish after 6 minutes, job done."

I've been with people who have almost freaked out when I've asked them to get on all fours, "I DON'T DO ANAL, NO ANAL!!!!!" (no-one has asked me to leave at that point though, convinced I'm the Phantom Arse Shagger). Whoa, steady on, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind (I always wait for a woman to ask for it, then there's going to be no confusion), so no need to fly off on one just because I've asked for a change of position, you can simply calmly tell me, rather than react like I've asked you to suck off a horse.

Hard limits are fine, everyone has one somewhere, but when playing with strangers, it's best to make them clear, calmly and firmly beforehand, when you can be sure they have heard and understood.

I would lose interest after an outburst in response to an innocent request, I don't need to have a woman stiffening up terrified I'm going to spear her arse when I brush her sensitive areas down around there, how can either of us relax and enjoy the experience? If I'm told beforehand, however, I'll stick to the rules and we'll (hopefully) both enjoy it.

There maybe someone about to post a reply to this thread along the lines of "I met this woman, thought she would be open-minded because it was through a swingers' site, but she freaked out like I was some kind of pervert when I suggested Doggy Style, and then threw me out!"

Obviously, it's hard to get the full picture from Jerri's short post, and it may well be that he was an overbearing oaf who was mauling and trying to arse-rape her, despite her telling him to leave it alone, in which case, she should have hit him with a hammer. There's no excuses for ignoring someone's limits.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Take It To The Limit - The Eagles

oops wrong thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For me over the years been nasty bitchy woman ,,,,,, finding out thay said stuff about me to others that was not true and then getting told ... some of the stuff just so nasty ..... people put of meeting me ... you live and you learn i have from swinging. jo xxx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a male friend and I went to meet 2 ladies and when we arrived it was clear one had learning difficulties. I told the other lady on a 121 basis, she should be ashamed for encouraging a vulnerable person into this lifestyle and that we would be leaving but the dignity of the other lady was paramount. She told her that she had received a call and she needed to call off.

was shocking..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"a male friend and I went to meet 2 ladies and when we arrived it was clear one had learning difficulties. I told the other lady on a 121 basis, she should be ashamed for encouraging a vulnerable person into this lifestyle and that we would be leaving but the dignity of the other lady was paramount. She told her that she had received a call and she needed to call off.

was shocking.. "
I think i would have felt the same as you ,,,,,and told her to her face and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me over the years been nasty bitchy woman ,,,,,, finding out thay said stuff about me to others that was not true and then getting told ... some of the stuff just so nasty ..... people put of meeting me ... you live and you learn i have from swinging. jo xxx"

Same here...sighs...but just go on and try and enjoy..and avoid problems if possible Helen x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Same here...sighs...but just go on and try and enjoy..and avoid problems if possible Helen x Yes Helen you sure do or thay think thay have won and got you out of the way ,, always found men ok just been woman ..... and thats even with out even meeting or knowing me x jo xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was with my ex, we were members on another site and used to attend socials down south.

At every one of the socials a couple would attend..the wife had learning difficulties and to be completely blunt..was barely aware where she was at times. It really was heartbreaking.

I spoke to the organisers and some others about it as i felt strongly it was out of order.

He was using his wife as his 'key' to the scene. He would attend a function..hand over his wife to anyone that wanted her and then avail himself of any of the other women that were willing.

I also felt it was a responsibility to ban him from socials (cant do anything about one to one meets) and to let the admin of the site know. The reason being that his wife was not able to make an informed decision. She may well have been well over 18, but lacked the mental ability to understand what was happening.

At house parties i was told he would put his wife in a room..and all and sundry could go in and do as they please to her...meanwhile he was off partying with others at the party (shame on all attending in my opinion)

I felt it was almost like rape, as if someone is drugged etc and cannot knowingly say yes...then its a crime.

I never attended another social that he and his wife went to

vol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

felt it was almost like rape, as if someone is drugged etc and cannot knowingly say yes...then its a crime

It sure was a crime and this man should have been horse whipped ,,,, you do here alsorts but this is really very bad......... i would have been mad as hell if i was there. x jo xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/09/10 13:29:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

vol that is disgusting cant believe someone would do that, im shocked

glad you mentioned it to the people hosting

miss pink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a similar experience, where someone we'd met decided to discuss our adventures with people who'd verified us, it's one reason we don't show all the verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When i was with my ex, we were members on another site and used to attend socials down south.

At every one of the socials a couple would attend..the wife had learning difficulties and to be completely blunt..was barely aware where she was at times. It really was heartbreaking.

I spoke to the organisers and some others about it as i felt strongly it was out of order.

He was using his wife as his 'key' to the scene. He would attend a function..hand over his wife to anyone that wanted her and then avail himself of any of the other women that were willing.

I felt it was almost like rape, as if someone is drugged etc and cannot knowingly say yes...then its a crime.

I never attended another social that he and his wife went to

vol

xx"

this guy should be reported and arrested. see if he can explain his actions to the authoritys. absolutly disgusting.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Learning difficulties can relate to a very wide spectrum of conditions – there are lots of people on this site with learning difficulties…. I take it you have all tried reading some of the profiles on here

But in all seriousness, before too many jump on the “what a bastard” bandwagon… I have a question: How many of us are qualified to reasonably assess the degree of learning difficulty another person has?

Even someone with a very low development age is usually capable of expressing distress or dislike……. so you have to ask yourself, if she was indeed their against her will, what sort of people went into the room, in which this abandoned venerable person was left in, and shagged her?

How many people with learning difficulties still have adult desires?

How many people with other disabilities are mistaken for people with learning difficulties?

How many people would think it so bad if a woman with no noticeable learning difficulties was left in a room to be fucked by all and sundry… because she liked being treated like a slut?

I know a deaf lady who just so happens to naturally have a bit of a gormless facial expression (her words not mine)… people often treat her like she is thick because her hearing impediment affects her speech. People have treated her husband like a mass murderer…. until she pulls out her laminated card saying “I’m deaf not stupid!”. They stopped going to parties a couple of years ago because of all the hassle her hubby kept getting.

I have a very good friend who has muscular dystrophy, not as advanced as Hawkins, but advanced enough for people to assume (wrongly) and talk to her like she is a child. She has nearly as many letters after her name as it takes to spell most people’s address. They nearly went to a club once (her and one of her fb’s)… they got as far as the carpark before someone made a comment about him being a sick bastard.

I do agree it is abhorent to abuse a person with severe learning difficulties by putting them into a situation they do not understand. However, my point is….. it is easy to make snap judgements and get it wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very valid point, however in fairness I am qualified to make that judgement....hence how deeply I was horrified.

Her mind was unable to process consent or the realisation of what was actually happening or the social and moral implications...and she certainly had no capacity to have regard for her own safety and well being.

vol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so u ignored the sex u were meant to be having in a party and then started conducting a mental health assesment on other invitees....well this is one of the problems associated with swingers that make me go grrrrrrrrrr if u were genuinely concerned u should have called the police. seems to be so many 'saints' on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so u ignored the sex u were meant to be having in a party and then started conducting a mental health assesment on other invitees....well this is one of the problems associated with swingers that make me go grrrrrrrrrr if u were genuinely concerned u should have called the police. seems to be so many 'saints' on here."

I have no reason to defend, however as you made assumptions because you didnt take the time to read properly...

I was at the SOCIAL, (what i saw there was bad enough and immediately obvious to all it there was something )and I would never want to call police to a social unless it could not be avoided. I did take steps and i did inform the organisers and other attendees (seems it was already known to them and they continued regardless).... I never returned.

I was NOT at a sex party..and yes..if i did attend a sex party you can be damn sure id do an 'assesment' of anyone there before i got my knickers off! You can also be DAMNED sure that sex does NOT and will NOT ever come before common sense, my safety or beliefs...

However you are probably right there are only ever 2 roads to take..police or carry on 'with the sex I was meant to be having' (your words..certainly not mine! *sigh*

*rips up saint hood application and genuine concern form .... replaces it with speed dial for police*

Vol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've 'played' with people who are less physically enabled, but like View and Vol if I felt there were questions to their mental ability and awareness I'd cry off. Even d*unken people lose judgement and can be termed less aware of their surroundings and inhibitions, putting themselves and others at risk .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of an eye opener reading some of these. The most I have seen/experienced was when I had my first mmmf. I was a regular with the couple and she wanted more men. So they invited this new guy and my god did he stink! His personal hygiene was non existent, I dont think he had a bath in years. We all gave each other worried looks as he undressed and the smell hit us. She sent him packing within 5 minutes of him turning up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same here...sighs...but just go on and try and enjoy..and avoid problems if possible Helen x Yes Helen you sure do or thay think thay have won and got you out of the way ,, always found men ok just been woman ..... and thats even with out even meeting or knowing me x jo xxxxxxxx"

Jo agree with u..same here men are mostly very nice it's either their partners or single women, some u never meet, who "mouth off" causing problems... it just spoils it and u get this kind of "feeling" H.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have seen so many instances of one member of a couple really not wanting to swing, but the other is really keen to. Always ends badly. I saw a documentary following swingers, this guy was well into it but his wife wasnt. He forced her to go to a club,she was not happy etc. However she got so much attention and LOVED it, but he didnt get a sniff of anything and had to sit there watching his wife with a group of people. His face was priceless! Then he started moaning "oh i am BORED, lets go. Hun cmon we're going now" and she told him to fuck off ,this was his idea, he can go if he wants but she is making the most of it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to a club with Craig, entered a room giving C a bj got another guy to come behind me to start playing while being watched, sensual to start then he began to try fisting me..ouchhh

pulled away he grabbed me,took an onlooker to push him away......the fister was escorted out the club...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

eeeek!

I blame the porn industry for a lot of blokes behaviour. They see a porn film with fisting and it looks like you can simply stick your fist in a pussy or bum easily. And of course every woman LOVES being fisted because they do in films.

Or anal doesnt require lube and warming up, you can just shove it in like the film.

Oh and ALL women come within seconds through oral!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Hard limits are fine, everyone has one somewhere, but when playing with strangers, it's best to make them clear, calmly and firmly beforehand, when you can be sure they have heard and understood.

I know wolf you put maybe he wasnt obsessed with anal, but if the lady is in any position and tries to touch her botty and she tells him not to or moves his hand,tongue ...away and he then ignores that then he clearly cant take no for an answer.

If she has told him no and no again and moved hands away too to stop him touching her botty then yes the man is wrong to carry on pushing his luck.

He is wrong and not her. She is right to question when he wants her in the doggy position as have been in that situation before when my ex used to try anal and it wasnt my thing. He would try and try again as he didnt have the backbone to actually open his mouth and have a discussion about it. I remember being in the doggy position and guess what he ended up pushing into my botty saying,oops didnt realsie I got the wrong hole. In that position it isnt hard in my opinion to get lost down there. So for the lady in her situation I would ask him to leave if he tried and truied again and kept trying. To then ask her to go to doggy where he has a perfect _iew of hole A and hole B,no thanks.

Some men wont get the hint and lots do.

I often say to men now well if you get to fook my botty do I get to do the same to yours.

I have had a few bad experiences with anal. After getting used to it again and really enjoying it, a guy I met with a decent length and girth to go with it,we decided to go for it and once he was in the chosen place and all was ok, I then got to the point it didnt feel ok anymore and asked him to come out. Now I was expecting him to gently withdraw but instead he whipped that baby out. It hurt like hell and put me off for a long time.

I now only occasionally do anal and has to be with the right man. Someone I trust and am very comfy with.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hard limits are fine, everyone has one somewhere, but when playing with strangers, it's best to make them clear, calmly and firmly beforehand, when you can be sure they have heard and understood.

If she has told him no and no again and moved hands away too to stop him touching her botty then yes the man is wrong to carry on pushing his luck.

Some men wont get the hint and lots do.

I often say to men now well if you get to fook my botty do I get to do the same to yours.

I now only occasionally do anal and has to be with the right man. Someone I trust and am very comfy with."

I am both trustworthy and in posession of a comfortable lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet the guy in your bum thought "oh no, best get this out quick as she is not enjoying it!"

good tip, withdraw gently!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Sensual that is very good to hear and yes, for me withdraw gently. It bloody hurts(me)if you whip it out. babies come out slowly generally, they dont yank the thing out(it may hurt lol)

Gently does it all the way for me

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

d*unk couples are hard work and I would not like to be in a situation like that again (we didn't play) I just always get the feeling like they wouldnt be doing it sober and I like to be sober whilst doing it

also very dominative women bleeding scared the hell out of me (I did still carried on)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"d*unk couples are hard work and I would not like to be in a situation like that again (we didn't play) I just always get the feeling like they wouldnt be doing it sober and I like to be sober whilst doing it

also very dominative women bleeding scared the hell out of me (I did still carried on)

Do you know your right I never looked at it like that before but yes if sober i bet thay would be diffrent some do need alot of drink i know ... I have in passed but now 1 or 2 glasses of wine thats my lot . I like knowing what i am doing and feeling everything no hangover in morning. Dont make me party popper ....cant spell that..but can now have just as much fun with out it and dont need other things. Just Good SEX

jo xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard limits are fine, everyone has one somewhere, but when playing with strangers, it's best to make them clear, calmly and firmly beforehand, when you can be sure they have heard and understood.

If she has told him no and no again and moved hands away too to stop him touching her botty then yes the man is wrong to carry on pushing his luck.

Some men wont get the hint and lots do.

I often say to men now well if you get to fook my botty do I get to do the same to yours.

I now only occasionally do anal and has to be with the right man. Someone I trust and am very comfy with."

Same here, had it rammed in on different occasions, different blokes, not one thought to ask and not one was gentle

not sure i want to bother again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D*unk couples are awful - we have been to a club when 2 guys and a woman were absolutely plastered in the jacuzzi. Why do it, surely its not a great experience when you can hardly stand.

one guy was touching this other woman in the jacuzzi. She started to look a bit uncomfortable so i went over to her and whispered in her ear saying, are you ok with that guy as hes clearly very d*unk and you look uncomfortable. She thanked me and said can i come and sit with you, which of course she did. He then tried to touch me and its been the only time when ive been very blunt to the point of rudeness and said, dont even try as you're not playing with me.

I also had an instance last week with an older guy and his wife. The guy had chatted to me in the club but I wasnt interested in his chat even, he was really irritating to me. I was polite but didnt indulge in a long conversation.

throughout the night he kept following me and my partner and playing with his wife in the same rooms as us. At the end of the night we were in the jacuzzi and decided to get out. As i walked past him to get out he grabbed me and pulled me to him. He then wrapped his legs around me tightly and said, oh no your not going i want to play with you. I tried to laugh it off and said sorry i have to go now, and he said to my partner, your not having her back as its my turn now, i want to play with her, he was holding me very tightly and it took all my strength to pull him off. My guy wasnt rude, but put his arms around me and got me out of the guys embrace.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

had a fellow cum into our room at a club one night she mrs told no cpl of times, she locked the door ,20 mins later he actually kicked the door in, it ended when i chased him he went str9 out the club door in boxers and carrying his trousers

had a cpl on times been in a club and in hot tub when fellas started to touch the mrs up trying to hide it in the jet water ,she just tells them to fuck of rather loudley to show them up .

know a cpl who the mrs gets blotto he falls asleep and off he trots up to the play room and leaves her on her own in that state

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We have come across d*unken women in clubs a few times and normally they are really loud and spoil it for everyone else.

We had 1 such woman come into a room we had gone into and when we said no thank you she screamed "lock the fooking door then"

Steve

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"When i was with my ex, we were members on another site and used to attend socials down south.

At every one of the socials a couple would attend..the wife had learning difficulties and to be completely blunt..was barely aware where she was at times. It really was heartbreaking.

I spoke to the organisers and some others about it as i felt strongly it was out of order.

He was using his wife as his 'key' to the scene. He would attend a function..hand over his wife to anyone that wanted her and then avail himself of any of the other women that were willing.

I felt it was almost like rape, as if someone is drugged etc and cannot knowingly say yes...then its a crime.

I never attended another social that he and his wife went to

vol

this guy should be reported and arrested. see if he can explain his actions to the authoritys. absolutly disgusting."

Echo that completely...what a sick situation.

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