FabSwingers.com forum: Could it be me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An awfie lot of threads popping up about people being unable to get meets, couples, single men and yes even single women.

The reason appears to be

too many timewasters

too many with preferences

too many with "isms" and "ists" like ageist

too many single men

not enough couples

and a 1000 other reasons.

But have you stopped to think that maybe, just maybe it is you that people don't want - god forbid it could be that.

Well in our case the reason is ME

Oh the shame and shock horror of it, but, well I have known for a long time that I am the reason we struggle to get meets.

Despite not being a BBW, a lot of people would like to meet Sasha, and I say that with all sincerity, BBW ladies are far more popular and get a lot more offers than those in the 6-10 category.

Younger people struggle more, black guys have a huge following, that's all down to preference, we all seem to accept that very easily, but there are a few, often those that start moaning threads that seems to forget all about people having preferences and blame everyone else for thier inability to get meets.

Me it's because I am an old git and a smoker, the number of people wanting to meet a couple where the guy is over 50 is far less than those wanting to meet people in the 30-50 group. The younger lads have the same problem and even some of the younger ladies and couples.

Add to that, I have a much younger partner, so a lot of the people my age don't want to meet us because Sasha is too young for them and a lot of people Sasha's age don't want the "old git" to come along.

I accept that, it is very understandable.

So why can't some others realise that it is, though no fault of thier own, something about them that limits the number of people wanting to meet them.

Too young, too slim, too tall, too large, too hairy, too bald, long hair, short hair, boobs too big, boobs too small, no pictures, boring profile, too far away ....................

The competition is stiff (damn that kamagra) we can't all be successfull, you have baggage, no babysitters, parents always popping round, can't drive, funny working hours, live with other people, the wife wants you home early ..................

It is not always the fault of others, it is rarely the fault of the site and all the moaning in the world won't help, some things you can't change, I can only act like an 18 year old I can't actually be one but somethings you can change, so before you waste your time moaning about it, see if you can shift the balance yourself, perhaps with your profile or the way you approach others or the way you approach the whole scene ?

Just a thought

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"An awfie lot of threads popping up about people being unable to get meets, couples, single men and yes even single women.

The reason appears to be

too many timewasters

too many with preferences

too many with "isms" and "ists" like ageist

too many single men

not enough couples

and a 1000 other reasons.

But have you stopped to think that maybe, just maybe it is you that people don't want - god forbid it could be that.

Well in our case the reason is ME

Oh the shame and shock horror of it, but, well I have known for a long time that I am the reason we struggle to get meets.

Despite not being a BBW, a lot of people would like to meet Sasha, and I say that with all sincerity, BBW ladies are far more popular and get a lot more offers than those in the 6-10 category.

I accept that, it is very understandable.

So why can't some others realise that it is, though no fault of thier own, something about them that limits the number of people wanting to meet them.

Too young, too slim, too tall, too large, too hairy, too bald, long hair, short hair, boobs too big, boobs too small, no pictures, boring profile, too far away ....................

Just a thought

"
Some very good points there Jed....how is the lovely Sasha? Gis a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey Jed, you taken a sensible pill?! Very true though. I never realised till I became a grown up with responsibilities, just how hard it can be to get 2 or more adults in the same room on the same night without a shit load of organisation.

Indeed 'tis true, moaning won't change any of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

i'm going to argue that it is not you that have a problem....but others. you guys are solid and happy with your relationship and that is not a problem at all....if someone cannot find in you all that they want, then it's they that have a problem.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

can I just put you right on one thing in your thread.....

not all "black guys" have a huge following....

trust me on that one......

it is an interesting thread because in the club I was in last night a the wife of a couple i have known for a long while now made the admission that the 1st time she met me she didn't think much of me.... now we get on really wall and it actually made me laugh....

I know I am not ya atypical black guy, and because of my upbringing, what I have been thru in my past, and where I have always wanted to get to in my life, I know I am going to be different...

I am outspoken and forthright.... especially on subjects where it is going to put up up against the convention...

be that people playing up to stereotypes,

or views on black/white socials

or even calling out people who I think opinions blow from side to side depending on which way they think it makes they look popular

if people are real with me, I will be absolutely real with them... what you see if what you get.... be that a devil with a heart of gold, or a super nice guy with a hell of a devilish streak...

I am a black guy, I am a large guy... I am not going to be everyones cup of tea, heck I could say hello to people in a mail and there reply to that may be to block me... do I care.... no! that is me being me....

As long as I am true to myself and my convictions and be the best person that I can be, to my friends or to others, then that is all that I ask of myself... that is all i ask of others.....

in the mean time I am having a blast meeting people along the way of where I am getting to.......

interest thread jed......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite not being a BBW, a lot of people would like to meet Sasha, and I say that with all sincerity, BBW ladies are far more popular and get a lot more offers than those in the 6-10 category.

Sorry but i can not agree with that, i know shocking that we could not agree on something isnt it? lol

Now i first met you....what, god got to be about 8 years ago now so you have know me thro verious sizes lol

I used to be a size 22/24 ish at one point as im sure you can remember, till i went to weight watcher and lost over 9 stone, i went down to a size 10, ok ive put some back on now but i can honestly say, i got LOADS more offers and attention at a size 10 then i did at a size 24

Now i cant speak for everyone and im sure there are some guys who prefure a size 24 and some a size 10 but i found that i was far more popular after i lost weight

P.S i think your lovely

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Will go 50/50 with you - yes I watched your weight loss in admiration but it's nearer 10 years and I watched other things too, I watched you grow in confidence, going from swing virgins in the msn chatroom to tiptoeing round the club as a couple to a confident single woman who doesnt tolerate fools for one minute.

I believe your confidence without arogance is the reason your a successfull single size 10 ish, larger women always seem to have a little more confidence after just a couple of visits to the club, dont know why just seems that way, you got yours that way and with time.

Love you too honey though we do only agree with each other half the time, thats what makes your posts interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh guys....I can just feel the love in here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i would do you

cos you aint an old git, and you dont look it

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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

Huh, you want to know the real kiss of death on a profile??

Just write "we're softswingers"

John & Shel

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

we soft swing, we full swing too but we tend to "go with the flow" and have to say we have had some really great, sexy erotic fun when soft swinging though some peoples idea of soft swing is kinda tame (girl on girl partners watch is something we can see/do at a club everyday so not something we meet to do)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

Oooh, just seen this thread!

Couldn't agree more.

Sadly, some people have a talking mirror that tells them "they're the fairest in the land" so struggle to accept the "thanks but no thanks" messages"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

...and I have to disagree with you.

If someone doesn't want to meet someone for whatever reason they don't have a problem at all - they're exercising their preference. It's not to say there's anything wrong with the couple they don't want to meet: it's just not for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be a size 22/24 ish at one point as im sure you can remember, till i went to weight watcher and lost over 9 stone, i went down to a size 10

Nothing to do with the thread but nice one and well done. Thats hard work and commitment. Takes some doing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

...and I have to disagree with you.

Yea ok I get that, but what I said originally is "why do some people complain because others don't want to meet them, as you said and I said there are many reasons for not wanting to meet and it is not always the fault of the other person"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"aaaaah no, I have always known our own shortcomings and problems it's everyone else's I get wrong

Not a popular thread, could it be some people are realising they have a problem and are relcutant to admit it or are many people still living the dream

...and I have to disagree with you.

Why does there have to be 'fault'?

If 'I' don't want to meet 'YOU' (whoever I or you happens to be) that's nobody's fault - it just a matter of choice.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

I think all the jed is trying to point out ( jed feel free to correct me) is that there is a lot of profiles that start off complaining about timewasters referring to both the site and people and all because they've been let down when planing a meet. They may have had to make ' special arrangements' etc etc or travelled a distance. Or they are not meeting anyone because of how picky some people seem to be, well as the saying goes there is someone for everone as can

be demonstrated in the different ages of jed sasha, it's just that sites have the potential to put a lot more people together instantly and people

think that means every contact is going to play.

Now as we all find out that's not neccessarily the case. So let's accept that and move on but be true to yourself/selves and not hurt anyone.

After all we are all looking for fun so just accept

you won't be everyone's cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

that too lol, No what I was on about is the people who do think there is a fault and it is somebody else not themselves.

The ones that open threads up in the forums complaining about things that are often brought about by the lack of meets they get.

They arent getting meets so they come in the forums blaming the site, ageism, sizeism, the weather, too many guys, couples being bias, single women being fakes and every other reason except themselves.

I used myself as an example for not getting meets because it is true, we rarely get meets, but we know why and dont try to put the blame on other peoples choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the root problem is that single men have less or no preferences and that women/couples usually DO have a preference and that can cause friction.

Women/couples will be able to have their pick of hundreds of single men and thus can afford to be fussy and why shouldnt they be. Single men really should be fussy to, but think they will miss out totally if they are.

I always wonder if i put "Skinny blondes with big tits ONLY" or "Fit black women with big tits and curve ass ONLY" would I get abuse or simply NO responses at all????

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