FabSwingers.com forum: How to scare off a meet (humourous)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what lines might scare off an arranged meet?

My favourite

" what time will you be arriving here ? "

The undertaker wants to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just getting the gaffer tape and chloroform ready for our rendezvous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you give me 5 mins just need to cream me warts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just getting the gaffer tape and chloroform ready for our rendezvous.

Standard operating procedure for me....

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

What colour would you like the flowers for the church? Oh and what's your ring size?

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

So I was discussing you with the wife when.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can you give me 5 mins just need to cream me warts "

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

It was handcuffs and the 10inch strapon for you or was it the guy after you .. text me........

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We can tell our grandchildren how we met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be right there, just need to pop upstairs and scrape off the sheets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know your my 500th meet :0)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gonna be 10 mins late. Need to pick up some more knob rot cream on the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgot to buy condoms but don't worry I haven't got anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is your first time too, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it ok if we meet elsewhere? Your neighbour has an injunction against me

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Can I bring the kids? The babysitter has let me down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a favour when you get here .can you push my piles back in .I can't reach

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"is it ok if we meet elsewhere? Your neighbour has an injunction against me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't leave the house after 7 incase my electronic tag goes off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you arrive just let yourself in but don't take any notice to the rolled up carpet in the corner, it was my last meet things just got a little out of hand

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

I won't forget the hamster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just had some bad news from the GUM clinic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not really a sexy single girl I'm a 50 year old man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did say you were not allergic to rohypnol didn't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you milk my cock behind a bush when its dark

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By *olly RogererMan
over a year ago

Braintree

Whats your name again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its ok I got rid of the crabs last week ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/01/15 16:33:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The baby sitter one is a belter ,, might use that one one day

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"is it ok if we meet elsewhere? Your neighbour has an injunction against me

Pmsl...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't mind if I wear my butt plug do you? My anus prolapsed and it stops me shitting myself

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"You don't mind if I wear my butt plug do you? My anus prolapsed and it stops me shitting myself

Awesome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can u come 30 mins later plz as I have the shit and can't get off the toilet

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

Can i bring my alsation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only have 15 mins as my husband is due home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do u mind if my mum comes and watches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Fab name? "The1".....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be there shortly, Just changing my colostomy bag!!

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

When I said that my cock is just itching to meet you. ...I actually meant that it's just itching.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I said that my cock is just itching to meet you. ...I actually meant that it's just itching. "

What? That old thing? Weeeeeell it may LOOK like a wedding dress, and it may have 'Brides are Us' on the label - but I only bought it because it was 70% off in the January sales!

Shall I try it on for you??

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm ovulating. Do you mind if I lie with my pelvis elevated and legs in the air afterwards? Oh, and ignore what I said about never going bareback...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've loved you from the moment u answered my first message -"Fancy a fuck?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

give me 2 mins while I go for a dump so I can rub it all over u haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Fab name? "The1"....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be with you shortly, Just gotta finish my earlier meet off!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" erm are you allergic to goat hair !"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry I can't do that tine it clashes with my psychiatrists appointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dnt mind me n me 5 mates player pokeher do ya lass?

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 19/01/15 17:40:43]

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

No, it must have been your text speak. I thought you meant that you were looking for "animall sex" not "anal sex". I'll put the Alsatian back in the car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not a real muslim

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Come round as soon as you're ready, I've made room under the patio....

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By *ustin666666Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

I THINK I LOVE YOU.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad you are coming. I have a condom stuck inside me from my last meet. You can help me fish it out. I was going to change the sheets too but might as well wait till we've finished seems I'm on my period. I was only changing them because you are coming anyway but they were only done a couple of months back so not much point really. Can't wait to see you, hurry up. P.s. can you pick multipack of walkers up for the kids packed lunches on your way.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Do you think you will be able to get back from theInverness night train, covered in gaffa, in time for your work tomorrow?

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By *lle adie 2Woman
over a year ago

newcastle upon tyne

I've such a busy day..

Meeting Johnny at one then you at three, the billy after you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm glad you are coming. I have a condom stuck inside me from my last meet. You can help me fish it out. I was going to change the sheets too but might as well wait till we've finished seems I'm on my period. I was only changing them because you are coming anyway but they were only done a couple of months back so not much point really. Can't wait to see you, hurry up. P.s. can you pick multipack of walkers up for the kids packed lunches on your way. "

Packed lunches bit made me laugh big time :L

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you drop by tesco on the way get me xlarge male tena pants . Thanks treacle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

made us laugh some good posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was 5.30 pm we agreed to meet? I just need to confirm timings for your slot on hiddenvoyeurcams...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell anyone who asks we met on POF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you give us the tenner for petrol when we get there? (that was an actual true message we got)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other halves going shooting will be polishing his shotgun when you get here lol

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By *ackStrakerMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

She says, "Thanks for meeting me again. Hope you don't mind but I'm pregnant this time...oh and yes it's yours."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dyed my hair for our meet. Can't believe how close the colour is to the girl in my profile pic.

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By *iss SugarWoman
over a year ago

not far from Brighton

You dont mind if we record this do you? Its my first meet since my sex change ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have fish aroma syndrome. Hope this doesn't put you off.

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By *uggarbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I make nice wedding cake

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

You don't mind if I keep a check on the time? I've never had so many meets in one day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice to see some humour. It's good to smile!

Stephanie XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh great, and I've just stocked up on farvar beans too....

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

My surname is Fritzl, why do you ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is it ok if we meet elsewhere? Your neighbour has an injunction against me

"
lmao made me lol ????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate you're really busy - I'd happily come to parents evening with you though, it would be great to get to know you.

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Most of my stuff is light enough to carry up to the bedroom but I may need a hand with the car batteries and the buckets.

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

"You don't mind if I wear my butt plug do you? My anus prolapsed and it stops me shitting myself

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By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago

Wymondham

Do you mind if we watch a little something to get us in the mood? Oh, it's called "2 girls, 1 cup" it's my favourite.

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

I've invited a surprise guest to be our third....... Your wife!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hope you don't mind but I've invited my mate Chlamyida......

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

Don't mind the gimp in the closet. He's just the last one that didn't want to stay Mwah ha ha ha!

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By *onnyeasygoingMan
over a year ago

Somewhere on the M62 between 24 and 14

Never mind Katie Piper and her film crew, after awhile you tend not to notice them.

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi I am Brendan from Leeds "

Scared a lot of women off with that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm I love the fetish stuff....

..... I tie an amazing noose..

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By *uestandpinkCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Not long finished….wait there …..while I mop the bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not really a sexy single girl I'm a 50 year old man!"

That's par for the course on here many a time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore the plastic, I'm having the place painted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One more: Lets meet in 10min lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just lean in..that's it all the way to back and light the oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

class"

Hahaha.. Awesome x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Sends face pic)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"(Sends face pic)

Haha.. I know that all too well lol

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

'Was that some velcro opening?'

'No it's my fanny lips. They are a bit dry.'

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What are your favourite baby names

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

"Mummy, please don't come in....I'm about to do it with a real person"

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