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Acceptable or just plain rude?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We've noticed some profiles will state if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks.

Now we get this, if the person/s sending the message has evidently not read the profile, or not followed instructions left on the profile, or just plain rude, or little thought has gone into it.

We also appreciate there will be people on here that get inundated with messages, and this becomes very hard to reply. (Would imagine for single females it would become a full time job! Lol)

But on those occasions, when the message sent is polite, they meet the criteria of likes, and follow the directions of a profile, is it just plain rude to ignore them and not even bother responding? And even more so after some messages have been exchanged.

Our thinking is that if we we're in a club and someone approached us and showed interest. We wouldn't just turn our backs on them and ignore them. (We get that it's a different environment, but believe the principles are the same). So surely a polite declination is a simple courtesy?

We've always made it a point to respond (or at least attempt to) to every message we get.

Just wondered what other folks thoughts were on this?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

The site FAQs state it is not rude not to reply.

I try to reply to messages that are polite, but to have to go through another 5 messages telling me I ought to meet them because they think they meet my criteria is time consuming.

If I have swapped a few messages, I always tell people that I am sorry but they are not for me if it goes that way. Some take it well, and others not so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

its nothing to get upset about, just ignore it .its not like its real on here.its just faceless anonymous people

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Acceptable.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Acceptable...next question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always send a polite no thanks - on occasions the same person will message again not realising they have already sent us a message - then we don't bother as we've already told them once.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier."

Looking at the FAQ's would have helped us lol.

It's not so much about getting upset when people don't reply. Though it can smart a bit when we've been exchanging quite positive messages for a while to the point of arranging a meet.

It's more about how we respond to messages and what's acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

acceptable x we get dozens of messsges a day many are one line fancy a fuck so we choose not to reply to all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get messages of the one line variety, they are deleted with no reply. They dont reply back whinging so they arent bothered really and obviously werent interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly acceptable I do it all the time as I get too many messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perfectly acceptable I do it all the time as I get too many messages "

I need to get better pics....even when I'm meeting I don't get too many messages....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier.

Looking at the FAQ's would have helped us lol.

It's not so much about getting upset when people don't reply. Though it can smart a bit when we've been exchanging quite positive messages for a while to the point of arranging a meet.

It's more about how we respond to messages and what's acceptable "

It's rude. Fab FAQ's my arse!

If you have sent a decent message to someone they should have the courtesy to reply. If you've been chatting to them for a while then they decide not to meet, they should say so. It's incredibly childish not to. It's like chatting to someone who all of a sudden turns their back and walks away.

It's not acceptable behaviour for adults. It is however a lucky escape. Would you want anything to do with someone that was so pathetic? I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/01/15 22:36:00]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's rude. Fab FAQ's my arse!

If you have sent a decent message to someone they should have the courtesy to reply. If you've been chatting to them for a while then they decide not to meet, they should say so. It's incredibly childish not to. It's like chatting to someone who all of a sudden turns their back and walks away.

It's not acceptable behaviour for adults. It is however a lucky escape. Would you want anything to do with someone that was so pathetic? I wouldn't. "

Glad to know someone believes in the same etiquette

Whether the sender or receiver we certainly subscribe to these simple manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've noticed some profiles will state if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks.

Now we get this, if the person/s sending the message has evidently not read the profile, or not followed instructions left on the profile, or just plain rude, or little thought has gone into it.

We also appreciate there will be people on here that get inundated with messages, and this becomes very hard to reply. (Would imagine for single females it would become a full time job! Lol)

But on those occasions, when the message sent is polite, they meet the criteria of likes, and follow the directions of a profile, is it just plain rude to ignore them and not even bother responding? And even more so after some messages have been exchanged.

Our thinking is that if we we're in a club and someone approached us and showed interest. We wouldn't just turn our backs on them and ignore them. (We get that it's a different environment, but believe the principles are the same). So surely a polite declination is a simple courtesy?

We've always made it a point to respond (or at least attempt to) to every message we get.

Just wondered what other folks thoughts were on this?"

You can't please everybody, it's just the same thing as in real life. Some are better seen as being abrupt but if you go by basic principles of life, you will not loose sleep over such things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier.

Looking at the FAQ's would have helped us lol.

It's not so much about getting upset when people don't reply. Though it can smart a bit when we've been exchanging quite positive messages for a while to the point of arranging a meet.

It's more about how we respond to messages and what's acceptable "

I'm not sure I buy the argument from a decency point of view, that because a FAQ section says it not rude then it isn't.

I do agree with you that the principles of politeness, whether that be online or face to face are the same. However, the rudeness we all experience everyday on the road is yet another example of even when a (comparatively) face to face scenario fails to bring out the decency in people. Personally I don't think it's acceptable to be rude in any human interaction scenario, regardless of distance, physical barrier or technology, but that's me.

If someone wants to block, ignore or be rude in any form, get them get on with it and live by one's own principles... You sure as heck are not going to change their behaviour...and for that matter, one shouldn't expect to either...each quite rightly has the right to make one's own decisions.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We only reply if they fit out desires and have actually read the profile! In that case, we only normally reply to couples.

Just a question though. You get your post in the morning and with it are some advertising flyers that are all well written and polite. Lets say you get five a day.. Do you reply saying "Thanks but no thanks"? Of course not, so why do we have to reply to those who have written on the off chance that we may just bend our wants and desires for them?

No, it's not rude to ignore mail that you didn't ask for and don't want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly acceptable. I have a life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/01/15 23:05:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We only reply if they fit out desires and have actually read the profile! In that case, we only normally reply to couples.

Just a question though. You get your post in the morning and with it are some advertising flyers that are all well written and polite. Lets say you get five a day.. Do you reply saying "Thanks but no thanks"? Of course not, so why do we have to reply to those who have written on the off chance that we may just bend our wants and desires for them?

No, it's not rude to ignore mail that you didn't ask for and don't want!"

The flyers/ junk mail analogy is bollocks. People have a profile on here, they are advertising themselves. When people respond to that it isn't junk mail!

If people don't want mail, don't have a profile.

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By *hatFellaNZMan
over a year ago

London

I get that people wouldn't (or shouldn't) bother replying if the message is a one liner, or not criteria-meeting etc but it wouldn't be out of the realm of politeness to say a quick "no thanks" if someone's taken the time to send a decent message after concluding that they match criteria.

This attitude of busy is a bit strange - you have enough time to check through them all but "no thanks" is too much?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we will reply to messages where an effort has been made, why wouldn't you! But I still say it's acceptable to not reply simply because that is the accepted way of going on round here. There are lots of things that are accepted here that I find incredible but that doesn't change the fact that they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had guys get rude because I've been polite and chatted to them!

I've been told your a time waster cause I answered politely questions when at no point till late in the day I've then been asked did I fancy a meet... Sometimes ignoring a message could be deemed being cruel to be kind!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get that people wouldn't (or shouldn't) bother replying if the message is a one liner, or not criteria-meeting etc but it wouldn't be out of the realm of politeness to say a quick "no thanks" if someone's taken the time to send a decent message after concluding that they match criteria.

This attitude of busy is a bit strange - you have enough time to check through them all but "no thanks" is too much?"

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier."

Just because someone tells us its okay it doesn't mean it is the op has a fair point. Some people sleep with total strangers in a club but they turn there noses up at a polite message i don't get that I am not expecting anyone to message me back I usually delete all messages after I send them if they reply good if they don't there loss not mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier.

Just because someone tells us its okay it doesn't mean it is the op has a fair point. Some people sleep with total strangers in a club but they turn there noses up at a polite message i don't get that I am not expecting anyone to message me back I usually delete all messages after I send them if they reply good if they don't there loss not mine "

I get many polite messages asking to meet despite the fact the profile clearly states I'm not meeting. Tell me, why should I reply??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get upward of 100 messages a day most days. Most are polite, most are men being vulgar. But a lot are couples are who just not what we want, be in sexualy, visually or mentally. Sometimes it takes all of 2 seconds to tell this.

When we get 100 messages, 70 of those will be delete without reading, guaranteed. 10 will be possible fakes and need more thought. The last 20 will be from real people are real possibilities, but those are usually the people we will look at and think if we should reply or not at al, because either the message is poor, or we get the feeling that really it's more hassle than needed.

In a club, you give off signals, you show people you're interested or not very easy. But on a site like this? You can't do that.

So when you get a couple that really doesn't float your boat, or you get a guy that doesn't so it for you but the girl does (and vice versa) what should you so? Be polite? Sure... But in our experience, that doesn't aways work. We have had no end of messages back from people who have not been able to accept they are not gods gift. That we must be fucked in the head, stupid, crazy, even frigid, to say they are not our type... After all these people are in our age limit, what we say we want... Why not?!!!?

So... We both spend al week teaching. We come home, have our tea, so our usual things. Live our life. So when you read those 100 messages... Sometimes you just can't be bothered. We say on our profile we will TRY to reply to all messages... Not will. When you get swamped, it's easy to ignore.

FAB is an extra for us, mostly a place for is to show our pics and let people we meet at clubs keep in touch. We have only ever met one single person for a meet on here FIRST (Well and one social). That's because of all the fakes here.

Time is everything. Sometimes even a nice, polite message won't cut it. Not when what you and your profile/pics show that you're not what somebody wants. and hey, everybody is different after all, right?

So just take it in stride, smile, and wave. It's normal. Just be glad you don't get people sending you vulgar replies back... Because that happens a LOT. C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also... Bloody iphone! So = do etc lol!!! C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've noticed some profiles will state --if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks--"

This basically tells you what they are willing to do. They've been upfront about it. By messaging a person who says they don't reply you have to accept they don't reply.

It's not rude, it's honest. Think i have something similar on my profile. I don't even reply to all the people i do fancy either, it's just not possible. If you walked into a club and loads of people (100s in some peoples cases on here) all wanted to chat to you, would you bother replying to every single one and tell several 100 thanks but no thanks, or would you focus on just the one(s) you were interested in?

After messages have been exchanged it is rude, but some people don't like to reject others for whatever reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had one saturday morning and all it said was "yh bby youz hot"

I just messaged back... why thankyou, my wife is not bad either.

I hate text speak and just the plain fact that he either didnt read the profile or just decided to ignore me.

I am sure I am not the only guy who gets sick of blokes just talking to the female half of a couple.

Although we make a point to reply to all messages frequently I do wonder why we bother replying x whinge over lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I answer most messages but I have a note on my profile to say which ones I won't respond to. If men can't be bothered to read a short profile then I'm not wasting time answering them to explain why I'm not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One liners/crude messages just get deleted. Any that have made an effort I will try to reply to even if just thanks but no thanks. I actually have it on my profile that if I don't reply and this offends you don't message me as you are too sensitive for me and we are unlikely to get on (or words to that effect). I actually think it is alot ruder to not read profiles or respect preferences, but me not liking it is not going to change anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did attempt to reply to all messages at first but I found the ones I said no to either got abusive or persisted messaging and friend requesting etc I am not ignorant quite naturally friendly I now have quite a long block list because of people not being able to take the hint so I went along the ignoring approach as I have found it expressed my disinterest far better than no thanks as then they start asking why etc

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By *eallylove2lickCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"We always send a polite no thanks - on occasions the same person will message again not realising they have already sent us a message - then we don't bother as we've already told them once."

Agree with this entirely. We specifically request facial photos with messages and find it very frustrating when correspondents don't send them. Although we have always made a point of sending a polite and personal message if we wish to decline another's interest, we have now reached the point where we won't bother if the message is of the "Wot U lookin 4?" type (obviously you haven't read our profile) with no photo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is obvious that someone has read the profile and made the effort to put together a decent message then we will reply even if it is to say no thanks. Othervthan thatbno we dont.

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea


"

I did attempt to reply to all messages at first but I found the ones I said no to either got abusive or persisted messaging and friend requesting etc I am not ignorant quite naturally friendly I now have quite a long block list because of people not being able to take the hint so I went along the ignoring approach as I have found it expressed my disinterest far better than no thanks as then they start asking why etc "

99% of the people I reply no thanks to - the vast majority who do not fit my stated preferences - always reply with insults, arguing the point, wanting to know why aggressively, still continue to message me, friend request me, name me as a timewaster or fake on their status, etc.

I don't like to be negative but they are the ones who make people end up being rude to theother 1% (my experience %'s) It's not how I want to be at all...

And why on occasion, if they were polite in their initial message, I will reply, to receive this treatment again, and wonder why I bothered and reminding me why I should not.

And it's 99% of the time for me, if kept it up, the agro of it alone would have put me off being on the site a long time ago... Sorry but I'm being honest.

Even accused of being arrogant this morning because I wouldn't continue chatting to someone, for the sake of it, despite me not meeting at the moment and them not being my type or in Edinburgh.

I wish the site had locality message filters!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah that's the major thing... When you say "thank you for the message, but you're sadly not what we are looking for " and then get a few messages back asking why, how high our standards must be, how we are wrong, or that we a fucking idiots as this is a sex site... Lol...

Sadly, that's the majority of people C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've noticed some profiles will state if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks.

Now we get this, if the person/s sending the message has evidently not read the profile, or not followed instructions left on the profile, or just plain rude, or little thought has gone into it.

We also appreciate there will be people on here that get inundated with messages, and this becomes very hard to reply. (Would imagine for single females it would become a full time job! Lol)

But on those occasions, when the message sent is polite, they meet the criteria of likes, and follow the directions of a profile, is it just plain rude to ignore them and not even bother responding? And even more so after some messages have been exchanged.

Our thinking is that if we we're in a club and someone approached us and showed interest. We wouldn't just turn our backs on them and ignore them. (We get that it's a different environment, but believe the principles are the same). So surely a polite declination is a simple courtesy?

We've always made it a point to respond (or at least attempt to) to every message we get.

Just wondered what other folks thoughts were on this?"

Don't take it to heart. It's only the internet after all! Accept it for what it is move on. No point trying work out why they didn't reply...

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"We've noticed some profiles will state --if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks--

This basically tells you what they are willing to do. They've been upfront about it. By messaging a person who says they don't reply you have to accept they don't reply.

It's not rude, it's honest. Think i have something similar on my profile. I don't even reply to all the people i do fancy either, it's just not possible. If you walked into a club and loads of people (100s in some peoples cases on here) all wanted to chat to you, would you bother replying to every single one and tell several 100 thanks but no thanks, or would you focus on just the one(s) you were interested in?

After messages have been exchanged it is rude, but some people don't like to reject others for whatever reasons. "

This.

I'm pretty sure I would not be any happier if my inbox was full of 'Thanks, but no thanks' messages. I think it would make me feel pretty depressed to go through those. I quite happy to have my messages ignored by people who don't fancy me. saves time all round.

On the other hand, if I've been chatting and messaging someone and they then decide I'm not their type, I would expect them to tell me and not just leave me guessing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The FAQ's say it's not rude not to reply, so it isn't?

Rubbish! It is rude and lacks common decency. I would always reply, even if it was to say no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've noticed some profiles will state --if they are not interested in the other person/persons they will not reply to messages or winks--

This basically tells you what they are willing to do. They've been upfront about it. By messaging a person who says they don't reply you have to accept they don't reply.

It's not rude, it's honest. Think i have something similar on my profile. I don't even reply to all the people i do fancy either, it's just not possible. If you walked into a club and loads of people (100s in some peoples cases on here) all wanted to chat to you, would you bother replying to every single one and tell several 100 thanks but no thanks, or would you focus on just the one(s) you were interested in?

After messages have been exchanged it is rude, but some people don't like to reject others for whatever reasons.

This.

I'm pretty sure I would not be any happier if my inbox was full of 'Thanks, but no thanks' messages. I think it would make me feel pretty depressed to go through those. I quite happy to have my messages ignored by people who don't fancy me. saves time all round.

On the other hand, if I've been chatting and messaging someone and they then decide I'm not their type, I would expect them to tell me and not just leave me guessing. "

Glad someone agrees it's not just about one persons terms and one persons wants. Honestly i'm pretty selfish but even i understand that you cannot force other people to do what you want, it's not fair on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply mostly - but sometimes it does become a chore - if you are comparing it to meeting in a club well its like not making eye contact once youve glanced and decided you not like -

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"Perfectly acceptable I do it all the time as I get too many messages

I need to get better pics....even when I'm meeting I don't get too many messages.... "

You definitely don't need better pics, those ones you've got are pretty hot; You just need a few more. ;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The FAQ's say it's not rude not to reply, so it isn't?

Rubbish! It is rude and lacks common decency. I would always reply, even if it was to say no thank you."

Make sure that you have read the profile, fit their preferences and this may increase your chance of a reply. Having a sense of entitlement may mean you don't enjoy your time on here as much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I apply for a job without reading the job advert. Would I really expect a response?

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I get the impression that some people start out replying with a polite 'no thanks', but then get browbeaten by a barrage of 'why not's and general 'ooo please' message or plain abuse...I guess it must wear people out to the point where they decide just to reply to people they want to chat too...

I send very few messages, and always polite, but if people decide not to reply then fair enough...

It's a free world and all that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The FAQ's say it's not rude not to reply, so it isn't?

Rubbish! It is rude and lacks common decency. I would always reply, even if it was to say no thank you.

Make sure that you have read the profile, fit their preferences and this may increase your chance of a reply. Having a sense of entitlement may mean you don't enjoy your time on here as much."

Having common decency does not translate to a sense of entitlement.

You've read my annoyance at people's rudeness and lack of politeness, probably checked my profile and saw that I'm a single guy and made an assumption, wrongfully, that I had agreed that not replying was rudeness and something I may have experienced. Not true, everyone I've messaged, of which there are very few, have all replied, even if it was to say no thank you.

I'm not a person who chases, neither am I desperate. This site is a little extra, nothing more than that.

But agreeing that it cost nothing to be polite, does not signal desperation or a lack of responses.

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Look in the FAQs for the site. It isn't rude not to reply. Being online is nothing like face to face. Accept it. You'll be happier.

Looking at the FAQ's would have helped us lol.

It's not so much about getting upset when people don't reply. Though it can smart a bit when we've been exchanging quite positive messages for a while to the point of arranging a meet.

It's more about how we respond to messages and what's acceptable

It's rude. Fab FAQ's my arse!

If you have sent a decent message to someone they should have the courtesy to reply. If you've been chatting to them for a while then they decide not to meet, they should say so. It's incredibly childish not to. It's like chatting to someone who all of a sudden turns their back and walks away.

Well said. Manners cost nothing & after receiving a rejection block them so it doesn't happen again

Mrs Wd40

It's not acceptable behaviour for adults. It is however a lucky escape. Would you want anything to do with someone that was so pathetic? I wouldn't. "

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

I'd love to be in the position to ignore winks or messages from people that fit my criteria

Most of the messages or winks we get are from people who so obviously HAVEN'T read the profile but message anyway. These I feel free to ignore or reply at my leisure.

Everything else gets a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The FAQ's say it's not rude not to reply, so it isn't?

Rubbish! It is rude and lacks common decency. I would always reply, even if it was to say no thank you.

Make sure that you have read the profile, fit their preferences and this may increase your chance of a reply. Having a sense of entitlement may mean you don't enjoy your time on here as much.

Having common decency does not translate to a sense of entitlement.

You've read my annoyance at people's rudeness and lack of politeness, probably checked my profile and saw that I'm a single guy and made an assumption, wrongfully, that I had agreed that not replying was rudeness and something I may have experienced. Not true, everyone I've messaged, of which there are very few, have all replied, even if it was to say no thank you.

I'm not a person who chases, neither am I desperate. This site is a little extra, nothing more than that.

But agreeing that it cost nothing to be polite, does not signal desperation or a lack of responses.

"

No I didn't check your profile to see whether you were a single male. Why would I? Surely the advice to check profiles and preferences is relevent to everyone not just single males. Expecting a reply from every message is un realistic. You are looking at it from a single male only perspective. A single fem friend of mine joined. Didn't put filters on -850 messages in a few hours. Was she rude to not reply to all those messages? Was she hell! The FAQ are right. No reply is a reply. It means not interested. Accept that and everyone enjoys the site more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think, as someone else put, it's more annoying people not reading your profile, sending completely unsolicited friend requests, that's worse.

We've sent plenty of polite Thanks but no thanks messages, and never had any abusive messages in return (maybe we've been lucky!?!)

I think the point Chris was making in the op was about arranging a meet and then the couple not replying to messages again. THAT is rude. Even at that point a message saying "sorry changed our minds" would of been absolutely fine! We wouldn't dream of sending abusive messages back for a rebuff!

We do however block people who clearly haven't read our profile, that block button is fabulous and utilised often!

Niki xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The FAQ's say it's not rude not to reply, so it isn't?

Rubbish! It is rude and lacks common decency. I would always reply, even if it was to say no thank you.

Make sure that you have read the profile, fit their preferences and this may increase your chance of a reply. Having a sense of entitlement may mean you don't enjoy your time on here as much.

Having common decency does not translate to a sense of entitlement.

You've read my annoyance at people's rudeness and lack of politeness, probably checked my profile and saw that I'm a single guy and made an assumption, wrongfully, that I had agreed that not replying was rudeness and something I may have experienced. Not true, everyone I've messaged, of which there are very few, have all replied, even if it was to say no thank you.

I'm not a person who chases, neither am I desperate. This site is a little extra, nothing more than that.

But agreeing that it cost nothing to be polite, does not signal desperation or a lack of responses.

No I didn't check your profile to see whether you were a single male. Why would I? Surely the advice to check profiles and preferences is relevent to everyone not just single males. Expecting a reply from every message is un realistic. You are looking at it from a single male only perspective. A single fem friend of mine joined. Didn't put filters on -850 messages in a few hours. Was she rude to not reply to all those messages? Was she hell! The FAQ are right. No reply is a reply. It means not interested. Accept that and everyone enjoys the site more."

No, no reply is rude. If someone talks to you and you ignore them - that's rude.

Common courtesy costs nothing.

And who the hell doesn't read the profiles? Are you assuming that I don't?

I'm certainly not that stupid, unlike some, obviously.

And if someone didn't apply the filters when they should have, that's their fault, not the people who messaged them.

But then they could have put out a generic reply in their current status, which would have solved that issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to any message that has been thought about, "hi" "how's you" "nice pics" "Tommy's a lucky guy" do not get replays, I must add these messages are usually from un-verified single guys with no profile pictures and no pictures at all, or even a write up.

We did try to reply to ever one even a polite no thanks, but it usually ends in a 5-6 message exchange explaining why not, which is even bloody worst.

If a guy, cpl or single fem(they can be the same) puts some effort into a mess, or at least more than 5 words then we will answer.

I don't think that's rude at all, sending a random one word message is rude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's rude. Fab FAQ's my arse!

If you have sent a decent message to someone they should have the courtesy to reply. If you've been chatting to them for a while then they decide not to meet, they should say so. It's incredibly childish not to. It's like chatting to someone who all of a sudden turns their back and walks away.

It's not acceptable behaviour for adults. It is however a lucky escape. Would you want anything to do with someone that was so pathetic? I wouldn't.

Glad to know someone believes in the same etiquette

Whether the sender or receiver we certainly subscribe to these simple manners."

I too believe in this etiquette and personally feel that if someone has taken the time and effort to write a message, one should at least acknowledge with a reply, however, I also accept the view of the site, simply for the reasons that it gives for why it is not considered rude not to reply here.

I myself attempt to reply to any and all messages I receive, but on the odd occasion I have simply felt completely flummoxed about how to respond.

I have often seen criticism about those single guys who seem to have trouble stringing just one sentence together for an e-mail, but sadly it seems that there are others who seem to be similarly afflicted.

For example, I sent a message earlier this week and actually received a response. It appeared positive in nature but consisted of only two words and left me a little baffled.

On the whole though, I really don't think it's something anyone should be losing sleep over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's rude. Fab FAQ's my arse!

If you have sent a decent message to someone they should have the courtesy to reply. If you've been chatting to them for a while then they decide not to meet, they should say so. It's incredibly childish not to. It's like chatting to someone who all of a sudden turns their back and walks away.

It's not acceptable behaviour for adults. It is however a lucky escape. Would you want anything to do with someone that was so pathetic? I wouldn't.

Glad to know someone believes in the same etiquette

Whether the sender or receiver we certainly subscribe to these simple manners.

I too believe in this etiquette and personally feel that if someone has taken the time and effort to write a message, one should at least acknowledge with a reply, however, I also accept the view of the site, simply for the reasons that it gives for why it is not considered rude not to reply here.

I myself attempt to reply to any and all messages I receive, but on the odd occasion I have simply felt completely flummoxed about how to respond.

I have often seen criticism about those single guys who seem to have trouble stringing just one sentence together for an e-mail, but sadly it seems that there are others who seem to be similarly afflicted.

For example, I sent a message earlier this week and actually received a response. It appeared positive in nature but consisted of only two words and left me a little baffled.

On the whole though, I really don't think it's something anyone should be losing sleep over."

Try 100+ a day, not all of which are nice, decent or even well written... Then come back to me.

We had a message yesterday I think it was and no word of a lie, all it said was:

"U frer"

(Typos correct above) Would I reply to this? Or is it rude to not? What do you even say? Should I even bother replying to a two word message that isn't even correct in spelling?

Now imagine 100 of these a day.

C x

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