FabSwingers.com forum: bdsm checklists

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone used these before? Seems a good idea to find put what a potential partner is into, or even what your current partner is into or finds arousing.

By *ittenwantstoplayWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Hate those checklists as I don't like to be be reduced to a list of dos and don'ts. People are more complex and far more interesting...

I 'list' some hard limits and preferences in my profile as that is different...

But working through those endless lists makes me frustrated and not in a good way

..as it is too restrictive and does not take into account the personal interaction and chemistry which can exist to influence the outcome of any sexual experience.

I will do lists as a purely fun thing...but not as a serious exercise for anyone wishing to get to know me...

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have used checklists in the past and have found them quite useful.

Not everyone is aware of the variety of play styles and interests there are out there and going through the list together allows you to discuss things that might not have been thought about before. If you are meeting a partner less experienced or new to the scene they can be quite nervous so a checklist gives them a chance to expand on their knowledge by asking questions about things they might not have heard about before.

We can understand the criticism about them, chemistry and attraction cannot be found through filling in a form but as a way to expand knowledge and start conversations we think they can work. It isn't something we always do, we don’t see it as homework but for some people it gives them that ice breaker and for the more submissive, having to fill in the checklist as a requirement can help to start the mental role setting.

By *heTwistedKinkCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Wirral

"Anyone used these before? Seems a good idea to find put what a potential partner is into, or even what your current partner is into or finds arousing. "

I think they can be really useful and definitely a handy conversation prompt. I have a check list and update it every six months or so, like a kinky CV. I enjoy looking at how my interests and boundaries change.

By *iccardaTV/TS
over a year ago

Wallasey

As an initial starting point, i can see them being a bit of fun, getting people thinking but it misses out on the deeper fun and experience BDSM play can bring to a relationship. Its like visiting every Airport in the world, a laugh i am certain but have you travelled?