FabSwingers.com forum: telling your new partner

By *iking.beard OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Im not in anyway ina new relationship but just curious as to how you telll or even introduce a new non swinger boyfriend or girlfriend that swinging or was something your into?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Since my marraige ended I've had 2 serious relationships. Both times I told them early on that I had a lot of NSA sex and they were fine with it.

Neither girlfriend wanted to know more or was curious enough to want to try so I simply hid my profile and went monogamous.

Honesty works best in my opinion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Since my marraige ended I've had 2 serious relationships. Both times I told them early on that I had a lot of NSA sex and they were fine with it.

Neither girlfriend wanted to know more or was curious enough to want to try so I simply hid my profile and went monogamous.

Honesty works best in my opinion. "

I have no argument with your last statement. Honesty all the way for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't feel the need to tell them. If I'm with a man for a serious relationship I wouldn't be meeting other men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage? "

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up. "

It happens. People don't always stick to the "correct" group when it comes to love and relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up. "

It's not a lifestyle choice for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not in anyway ina new relationship but just curious as to how you telll or even introduce a new non swinger boyfriend or girlfriend that swinging or was something your into?"

Tell them before it is classed as a 'relationship'

I never wanted J to go into this relationship in any other way than 'eyes wide open'

Some will buy into it, others won't but patent honesty is, for me, the only way to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up.

It's not a lifestyle choice for everyone. "

No its not, of course. But isn't that the point the OP is making? The reason for this thread? That he's involved and has made that lifestyle choice? Otherwise you're talking about a different thing. I mean if it's not a lifestyle should then the thread and the question the OP asks is a pointless waste of time, right?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up. "

I disagree. Swinging is a way for me to meet new people and have great sex, but my natural state would be monogamy with a lady I loved given the choice. Falling in love with someone can still happen in the swinging world as well as the vanilla. You don't plan to fall in love, it tends to just happen.

That said, I'm in 'never again' mode at the minute (again...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if you were am honest person, you'd be open and tell people well before you got the relationship stage. Otherwise how would you get to the relationship stage?

Not too early on though. Telling the pretty checkout girl in Asda you fancy that you're a swinger is generally a bad move ...

Ha! I never understand the logic of these posts. If you're talking about casual sex as a lifestyle choice, why would you then start a relationship with someone not involved in a similar lifestyle?

It's a bit like a biker hanging out with a scooter riding mod. It just doesn't add up.

It's not a lifestyle choice for everyone.

I meant for some people swinging is their entire life. For others is just a hobby. And for others they prefer monogamy and only swing when not in a monogamous relationship. So for some people there's no need to say anything.

None of those ways of life are wrong. Just different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its not, of course. But isn't that the point the OP is making? The reason for this thread? That he's involved and has made that lifestyle choice? Otherwise you're talking about a different thing. I mean if it's not a lifestyle should then the thread and the question the OP asks is a pointless waste of time, right?

None of those ways of life are wrong. Just different. "

Absolutely. Of course it's different for the individual. I was alluding to the point of the thread is all - which seems to be that if you're planning on continuing to be involved in casual sex, then how do you tell a person you've started a relationship with? My point being that if you've started a relationship with someone and you're planning on still having casual sex, well then you need to tell that person way before you enter into a relationship with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't feel the need to tell them. If I'm with a man for a serious relationship I wouldn't be meeting other men "

Exactly this, I'd be off here like a shot!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Invictus, was the failure of any of your relationships anything to do with the Edwardian swimming outfit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't feel the need to tell them. If I'm with a man for a serious relationship I wouldn't be meeting other men

Exactly this, I'd be off here like a shot!"

Me too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of those ways of life are wrong. Just different.

I think it's very very risky to tell anyone 'outside the scene'. Women would be branded sluts. Men similar. Idiots may tell friends and family. Not a good situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what the OP is meaning is, where you to fall for someone outside of the swinging world (something no one is safe from I feel) then how would you suggest to that person that threesomes, partner swapping and the swinging world in general where something that interested you. In a similar way to how would someone into kink and bdsm broach the subject with someone they hadn't met within that world. You meet people in all manner of ways/ all different groups and circles just because you are interested in swinging does not mean you are destined to fall for someone you meet in the swinging world. It is also not to say that someone you meet in the vanilla world wouldn't be open to the idea if broached. The question was how do you broach this subject? And I suppose also when?

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Well I don't believe in monogamy so if I liked someone enough for a second date I would tell them then. I'm a very upfront open and honest person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I wanted a swinging relationship I would tell any man I was becoming involved in as soon as I wanted him to be part of it. If I was in love with him and he didn't want others to join us I would be fine with it. I have found that some men want exclusive sexual relationships

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I would imagine it's a hard subject to just slip into a conversation and only you could gauge what reaction your partner would show, if you think they would run wild eyed away from you then don't mention it, if they seem quite open and liberated then it might be of interest even if they don't want to peruse it with you

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