FabSwingers.com forum: Who's business?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it how I use my profile? I am sick of getting abusive messages from people because I say on my profile I'm not chatting or meeting with new people at the moment. One took the biscuit today by telling me I was a head case with absolutely no provocation other than he read my profile!

I use the forums, I chat and message people on here I am already in touch with, I use the meets section to see who is going to which clubs and sometime I go Into the chat rooms if I can no longer resist seeing ten very unattractive men wanking like dervishes!

Is that not a legitimate use of this site? If not please tell what is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry should be "whose" business, mea culpa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you delete everything off your 'looking for' list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Why not block everyone from messaging you?

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

Use the site in exactly the wayyou want to. Those who give abuse are usually the ones who are bitter that it's not instashag and they can't find anyone foolish enough to meet them. Do as I do, report, block and have a laugh about how pathetic they are

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

[Removed by poster at 21/12/14 09:33:53]

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Please report the abusers, they should not be on this site. How you use your profile is up to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told a while ago that as I dont do anal I need to take my arse pics off.....I was shocked ....for a few seconds .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?"

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters."

I mean the people I chat to in the chat rooms and maybe people who would like to discuss my forum threads as well as people I've messaged in the last

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's no ones business but your own. People will criticise you however you chose to run your profile but even more so as you're not available there for them

I set my age range to 98 - 99 when I first came back to avoid messages and I have to say it's the best thing I did. Now that I've changed it back to a normal range, a lot of the men who viewed me back then still think they can't message me

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By *W69Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Your profile - Your rules (as long as they fit in with site admin)

Simples

Some people have nothing better to do than criticise others, surely it's much more fun looking at profiles in order to gauge compatibility and have fun....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway I'm not saying I don't want people to message me if they feel they must I just want to know why they get so upset that I'm not meeting or chatting and why they feel they have to question me on it and often in a very unpleasant manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just take no notice of the messages, delete them, if they are abusive report first then delete, use your filters and there's always the block button as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/14 09:42:03]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters.

I mean the people I chat to in the chat rooms and maybe people who would like to discuss my forum threads as well as people I've messaged in the last

I see. That wasn't what you originally said but renders my suggestion useless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just take no notice of the messages, delete them, if they are abusive report first then delete, use your filters and there's always the block button as well.

Yeah I do those things, who knows whether anything is done when a message is reported? Saying that I got a warning once because I called a bloke a twat for sending me a request for anal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters.

I mean the people I chat to in the chat rooms and maybe people who would like to discuss my forum threads as well as people I've messaged in the last

I see. That wasn't what you originally said but renders my suggestion useless."

What I originally asked is whose business is it how I use my profile, I didn't say I didn't want people messaging me at all

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Anyway I'm not saying I don't want people to message me if they feel they must I just want to know why they get so upset that I'm not meeting or chatting and why they feel they have to question me on it and often in a very unpleasant manner

Because some people cannot conceive the reasons why you wouldn't meet them. Report, block, and forget. They're not the type of people that need encouragement anyway.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters.

I mean the people I chat to in the chat rooms and maybe people who would like to discuss my forum threads as well as people I've messaged in the last

I see. That wasn't what you originally said but renders my suggestion useless.

What I originally asked is whose business is it how I use my profile, I didn't say I didn't want people messaging me at all"

I was making a suggestion that I thought might prevent you getting abusive messages yet still enable you to keep in touch with your friends. It was intended to help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not block everyone from messaging you?

Because I want my friends and people I've chatted to before to be able to contact me

I thought that if you were already in contact a message filter wouldn't apply. It works that way with age filters.

I mean the people I chat to in the chat rooms and maybe people who would like to discuss my forum threads as well as people I've messaged in the last

I see. That wasn't what you originally said but renders my suggestion useless.

What I originally asked is whose business is it how I use my profile, I didn't say I didn't want people messaging me at all

I was making a suggestion that I thought might prevent you getting abusive messages yet still enable you to keep in touch with your friends. It was intended to help."

Ok, thank you. Problem is it will block fifty nice/interesting messages for every abusive message it prevents !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told a while ago that as I dont do anal I need to take my arse pics off.....I was shocked ....for a few seconds .

lol

Not laughing at your anal preferences! Just laughing at the cheek of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private."

Sorry but how will that solve the original issue, people being abusive because they don't like that I'm not meeting? It's nice as well for people I chat to in forums and chat rooms to be able to see who I am

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Just take no notice of the messages, delete them, if they are abusive report first then delete, use your filters and there's always the block button as well.

Yeah I do those things, who knows whether anything is done when a message is reported? Saying that I got a warning once because I called a bloke a twat for sending me a request for anal

Of course it is up to you how you use your profile but I tend to find that the people who are abusive on their profiles are often the people who attract abusive messages themselves.

You obviously know what happens when someone sends an abusive message as youve been on the receiving end yourself, but heres the full version....

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told a while ago that as I dont do anal I need to take my arse pics off.....I was shocked ....for a few seconds .

I don't take anal

better remove most of my pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it how I use my profile? I am sick of getting abusive messages from people because I say on my profile I'm not chatting or meeting with new people at the moment. One took the biscuit today by telling me I was a head case with absolutely no provocation other than he read my profile!

Is that not a legitimate use of this site? If not please tell what is

Totally legitimate- you're free to use your own profile aas you wish so long as you don't insult people or waste their time and if you do get abusive messages just delete,block and possibly report those concerned

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is that not a legitimate use of this site? If not please tell what is

Supposing I wanted to insult people or waste their time......?....surely that's their problem if they contact me first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

No need to apologise. That avatar (torso in dress) is really all you need. And like has been said before clear your interest list if you're not playing..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

No need to apologise. That avatar (torso in dress) is really all you need. And like has been said before clear your interest list if you're not playing.. "

But I am playing, just not with new people. And basically as an exhibitionist I like to have pictures, they're not particularly explicit but they please me and I really don't think people decide to abuse me because I have a few pictures, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In answer to your question OP it is nobodies. Continue to use the tools the site gives us like filters, block and report. There will always be sad fuckers out there just ignore them. They are pathetic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you delete everything off your 'looking for' list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail.

No it doesn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have stated on my profile that I'm not meeting or talking to new men at the moment and not ever received a nasty message. You must be very unlucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use the site as you wish op. Show what pics you like etc. Nobody's business but yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

No need to apologise. That avatar (torso in dress) is really all you need. And like has been said before clear your interest list if you're not playing..

Take it on the chin then. Block report. No need to start another moaning thread. There's enough of them on here already.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

No need to apologise. That avatar (torso in dress) is really all you need. And like has been said before clear your interest list if you're not playing..

Take it on the chin then. Block report. No need to start another moaning thread. There's enough of them on here already."

Another moaning thread? The thread only continues because people add their own posts. If you don't like "moaning" threads then don't read or post on them, simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's entirely up to you how you use your profile, and like you say, you are still playing anyway - though even if you were just chatting then it's your choice, I'm fairly similar (without loads of abuse though).

I guess the more pictures uploaded, listing interests, and posting on forums may raise your profile, and filters will help, but if an attractive single woman on this sure can be messaged by men and isn't generally meeting new men, sadly some sad, insecure person will abuse the facility.

Report and block I'd suggest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe consider taking down your sexy pics? If you don't want to meet new people put them in friends only, or private.

No need to apologise. That avatar (torso in dress) is really all you need. And like has been said before clear your interest list if you're not playing..

I'd like to thank you on behalf of all pervs for being an exhibitionist and providing us with such lovely pics. Only abuse going on is self abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are somenough strange people on here. Just ignore the weird ones and those who sent shitty messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile. Your business. Even if you said you were meeting, it doesn't mean you have to accept every offer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By starting a thread about it aren't you kinda making it everyone's business and potentially attracting even more unwanted mail?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"By starting a thread about it aren't you kinda making it everyone's business and potentially attracting even more unwanted mail?"

I never said I didn't want mail, I said I didn't want abuse and I was interested if people thought the way I use the site is deserving of abuse. You could also say the same about any thread that discusses potentially irritating/abusive/simply mad behaviours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By starting a thread about it aren't you kinda making it everyone's business and potentially attracting even more unwanted mail?

You are obviously giving out the wrong vibes as i very rarely get anything abusive. ...even with my preferences i get guys questioning it but they are never abusive. Most odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you delete everything off your 'looking for' list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail.

No it doesn't

You have pics. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By starting a thread about it aren't you kinda making it everyone's business and potentially attracting even more unwanted mail?

You are obviously giving out the wrong vibes as i very rarely get anything abusive. ...even with my preferences i get guys questioning it but they are never abusive. Most odd."

I never get abuse either. Hmmmm................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hunnie there are some idiots on here who get their kicks aout of abusing others but sorry to say, the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ? "

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not a legitimate use of this site? If not please tell what is

Use the site how you want! !

btw u have an amazing ass. utterly gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don't get the abusive angle some people take (not just guys) everyone has tastes and preferences and if you aren't to someones liking why not just say thanks and move on and find someone who does like you... very bizarre behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me. "

Asking for trouble.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me. "

That's what I did originally have but having been called a time wasting cunt and a head case just this morning I changed it. So if someone called you that you would not think they were a twat? I did once send a return message that said what a twat they were for abusing me and that's when I got a warning for sending abusive messages.

And as many have said what I have on my profile and what I use it for is my own business, I didn't invite a nitpick of my profile and again, I asked if it was reasonable to use this site if not meeting or chatting with new people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry should be "whose" business, mea culpa

You were right first time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

Asking for trouble."

Really?no one forces them to read my profile, you think having a very mild swear word on my profile asks for people to send me abusive mail?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YOU use YOUR PROFILE as you see fit

fuck everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you delete everything off your 'looking for' list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail.

Really did not know that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

If someone called me names and was abusive I'd think they were childish, report them, block and forget. Calling names back is pointless and gets you nowhere other than wound up. Hope you don't encounter any more abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry should be "whose" business, mea culpa

You were right first time"

Surely not........ Who's means who is

And whose means to whom it belongs so an opinion is "whose" not who is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

Not sure what you had as your profile when you got the abusive messages but the one you had when you first posted was perfectly fine, friendly, no reason for people to be abusive. Sorry not nitpicking, just wanted to support the fact it didn't say tw@t before.

Yes it's reasonable for you to do whatever you want on here. I think people were just giving suggestions to try and help.

Negativity breeds negativity. You're more likely to get tw@ts messaging with a tw@tty profile.

Have a good Sunday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"YOU use YOUR PROFILE as you see fit

fuck everyone else

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I agree that we should all be able to use the site in whichever way suits us...you make it clear what you are happy and unhappy with on your profile, and there is nothing wrong with that...Best wishes to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

Yes it's reasonable for you to do whatever you want on here. I think people were just giving suggestions to try and help.

Negativity breeds negativity. You're more likely to get tw@ts messaging with a tw@tty profile.

Have a good Sunday.

I think that just by being a woman here you get twatty messages simply because they can and then they can shut their laptop lid and snigger

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have removed the twat, 'twas written in anger after being called a time waster and a head case. Somehow I think I will still get the "why are you on here then and wasting my time because I felt I have to write to you and tell you I'm not happy about your useage" type mails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

Yes it's reasonable for you to do whatever you want on here. I think people were just giving suggestions to try and help.

Negativity breeds negativity. You're more likely to get tw@ts messaging with a tw@tty profile.

Have a good Sunday.

I think that just by being a woman here you get twatty messages simply because they can and then they can shut their laptop lid and snigger

imagine them slamming the laptop shut and trapping their cock in it.

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By *ominantDogMan
over a year ago

Docklands, Exmoor, Manchester

The only head case was the author of the message.

use this site exactly as you want. You are under no obligation to any of the keyboard warriors on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have removed the twat, 'twas written in anger after being called a time waster and a head case. Somehow I think I will still get the "why are you on here then and wasting my time because I felt I have to write to you and tell you I'm not happy about your useage" type mails

I seriously think I don't get abusive messages when I turn people down, because they are relieved. "Thank fuck she doesn't want to meet me, bloody weirdo!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bottom line is that yes you can write what you like on your profile and use the site however you wish. Sadly there will always be twats. The forum has provided ways in which you could minimise contact from such twats by making certain changes. If want the abuse to stop you need to change the way you do things as you won't be able to change the behaviour of others by whinging on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave the 'looking for men' box unticked. Men will still be able to mail you (for example, men who see you in chat and on the forums) but you won't appear in search results. This should help minimise the random messages. Of course, if you still want to appear on searches then there's nothing to be done but to accept that sometimes you'll receive messages you don't like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the way your profile is worded probably doesn't help. Why not just put you're not meeting at present due to personal reasons or similar and leave it at that ?

I have to agree. My favourite word is Twat but I would never dream of having that on my profile to describe anyone who messages me.

Yes it's reasonable for you to do whatever you want on here. I think people were just giving suggestions to try and help.

Negativity breeds negativity. You're more likely to get tw@ts messaging with a tw@tty profile.

Have a good Sunday.

I think that just by being a woman here you get twatty messages simply because they can and then they can shut their laptop lid and snigger

imagine them slamming the laptop shut and trapping their cock in it.

I've got an image of the OP slamming it repeatedly while shouting at them "Don't ever send me abusive messages again you little twat!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get sick of something I do something about it. I don't draw attention to myself by moaning about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I get sick of something I do something about it. I don't draw attention to myself by moaning about it"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I get sick of something I do something about it. I don't draw attention to myself by moaning about it"

I tried to by changing my wording on the profile. Don't draw attention to myself?? Then I wouldn't post at all would I, like you? Oooh sorry you do post.... There you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes op I get the same. Don't let it get to you, that's what keyboard warriors want, a reaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The bottom line is that yes you can write what you like on your profile and use the site however you wish. Sadly there will always be twats. The forum has provided ways in which you could minimise contact from such twats by making certain changes. If want the abuse to stop you need to change the way you do things as you won't be able to change the behaviour of others by whinging on the forums. "

I don't expect to change others behaviour...I was interested in the views of people about the way I use my profile, that's seems to have got lost a bit amongst the other stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't expect to change others behaviour...I was interested in the views of people about the way I use my profile, that's seems to have got lost a bit amongst the other stuff

But you say it wouldn't be up to others what you do with your profile and become defensive when people suggest ways you could improve it to stop the unwanted behaviour?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't expect to change others behaviour...I was interested in the views of people about the way I use my profile, that's seems to have got lost a bit amongst the other stuff

But you say it wouldn't be up to others what you do with your profile and become defensive when people suggest ways you could improve it to stop the unwanted behaviour?"

Whatever, why should I put in effort to stop people being twats because, lets face it, they will always be twats no matter what I do

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I don't expect to change others behaviour...I was interested in the views of people about the way I use my profile, that's seems to have got lost a bit amongst the other stuff

But you say it wouldn't be up to others what you do with your profile and become defensive when people suggest ways you could improve it to stop the unwanted behaviour?"

The OP should be able to use her profile what ever way she wants without receiving abuse from anyone. Unfortunately there are some people on this site that feel they have an entitlement to things that they don't and then become angry and abusive if they don't get it. My advice to the OP is to ignore and block those people and think yourself lucky you were able to find out what sort of person they were without ever having to meet them.

You haven't asked for advice on changes to your profile that might reduce the likely hood of this happening so I won't give any.

I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help fabbing a few of your great pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't expect to change others behaviour...I was interested in the views of people about the way I use my profile, that's seems to have got lost a bit amongst the other stuff

But you say it wouldn't be up to others what you do with your profile and become defensive when people suggest ways you could improve it to stop the unwanted behaviour?

You haven't asked for advice on changes to your profile that might reduce the likely hood of this happening so I won't give any.

I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help fabbing a few of your great pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give up. Yes she should. But there are twats. Deal with it then.

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