FabSwingers.com forum: Judgmental bullies on fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've seen so many post on here of peoples!!!! kink, fantasy , dreams ,likes ,,story's real or make believe...just to be insulted or shot down by fab snobs. Because it's not what they like or understand. This site is for adults to be free and open ???. In my opinion as long as it's legal let them get on with it. You don't have anything nice to say ??don't. Move on to the next page. Stop the insults nasty rude comments.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

What was the part about " if you don't have anything nice to say"

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

its an open forum and people will comment as they see it, the mods do a good job of keeping an eye on things..

'bullies'..?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I've seen so many post on here of peoples!!!! kink, fantasy , dreams ,likes ,,story's real or make believe...just to be insulted or shot down by fab snobs. Because it's not what they like or understand. This site is for adults to be free and open ???. In my opinion as long as it's legal let them get on with it. You don't have anything nice to say ??don't. Move on to the next page. Stop the insults nasty rude comments. "

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/12/14 19:59:23]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I'm bulling in my post am I ??? Really ?? Please do explain where I am ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that sometimes insults and rude comments are thrown about BUT as you say in your OP, this site is for adults who are entitled to voice their opinion freely and openly. We can't all agree on everything so a debate / difference of opinion is good.

Never come across the Fab Snobs though

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Maldon

"the mods do a good job of keeping an eye on things..

Funny you say that, looking about if we've seen plenty of fair posts/topics closed for what can only be described as not to the mods liking. Yet seen other posts ramble on to the point where mids should have stepped in long ago. Rarely have we seen mods commenting on a post to calm a situation, before it gets out of hand. We rarely post in here due to judgmental people not agreeing, aggressively at time too, with the amount of members On here it's generally the same people post/reply in topics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm judgemental. I have no intention of changing tbat. And will certainly never apologise for it. Anyone that says they aren't judgemental is a liar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people do use the forums to post deliberate inflammatory remarks to provoke a reaction. However, whilst yes we have the freedom of speech, what you post can be challenged and this can have consequences.

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Maldon

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

doesn't read that way to us, we are somone saying what a lot think. He's right, if you ask a question an someone doesn't like it they can't help themselves to get involved. Rather than move on.

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Maldon

"I'm judgemental. I have no intention of changing tbat. And will certainly never apologise for it. Anyone that says they aren't judgemental is a liar"

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's how you put it accross that makes a difference, or wether you have to put it across at all. But saying, just because you can, doesn't mean to say you should.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"the mods do a good job of keeping an eye on things..

perceptions eh..

to clarify the question mark was after the phrase 'bullies'..

by 'omitting' that ones places a slightly different slant on that which you quote and reply to..

have you raised your observations with the mods..?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

An adult site for adult-like behaviours - if the standards of behaviours slip lower in the eyes of some people than they expect, then that's when emotional intelligence kicks in. It does for me anyway.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have seen new posters belittled, deliberately misinterpreted and generally hounded off the forums. Usually young men who are a little naive or ill informed. It does happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm judgemental. I have no intention of changing tbat. And will certainly never apologise for it. Anyone that says they aren't judgemental is a liar"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well it seems people are aware of it and some agree some don't and some just want to make excuses for their or others attitudes to carry on. The pen is mightier then the sword !! Some should remember that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well it seems people are aware of it and some agree some don't and some just want to make excuses for their or others attitudes to carry on. The pen is mightier then the sword !! Some should remember that. "

Who is making excuses?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are bullies on here. Just as there's a clique too. That said, both seem to be less and less of a problem than they were, to my mind. Matt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are bullies on here. Just as there's a clique too. That said, both seem to be less and less of a problem than they were, to my mind. Matt "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I called them the "clubs clique"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who cares every one get pissed its Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"who cares every one get pissed its Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but while we talking jibba jabba why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once suggested there was a forum clique and got banned for that, oops shit done it again

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

one would then assume that you have challenged such behaviour when you have seen it..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but while we talking jibba jabba why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? "

So Norman Collier would have an act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once suggested there was a forum clique and got banned for that, oops shit done it again

"
the first rule of clique club is that you dont talk about clique club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"who cares every one get pissed its Christmas

Best idea I've heard in a long time.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my round..you in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

smart arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

smart arse

Sorry! Couldn't resist!

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

You will get the same people who never seem to meet anyone,agitate use sarcasm & abuse the the forum yet remain unchallenged , rise above them mate & move on as they are not worth worrying about.

You are here to swing and have fun mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

smart arse

Sorry! Couldn't resist!

I'm sure you could, but sometimes more fun not to resist!

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

I can honestly say I am a non judgemental person, and I am not a liar, the only thing I expect from people is not to hurt me or mine, what anyone does is there business not mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

How on earth is the op bullying anyone by making an open statement?!?

Never heard such a ridiculous statement!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

smart arse

Sorry! Couldn't resist!

I'm sure you could, but sometimes more fun not to resist!"

Apostrophe before conjunction? I don't see any. Unless you mean the apostrophe which is masquerading as a comma.

Politely pointing it out

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I'm a tad lost with this bullying, clique thing. Am I not filtering for something here that I should be?

I don't sense someone taking my choice away.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"who cares every one get pissed its Christmas

I'll drink to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh boy.....its definitely Saturday night......

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

That's the nature of Internet forums for you. You get tough guy and gals keyboard warriors, white knights, fence sitters, the trolls who love to rile you, the deliberate obnoxious, the apeasers, the back it up with source crew etc., etc., Just take what you read with a pinch of salt around here it's hardly the most balanced place, lol.

How judgemental of me

Truth is the forums can be fun just don't take it too serious, water off a ducks back n all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are bullies on here. Just as there's a clique too. That said, both seem to be less and less of a problem than they were, to my mind. Matt "

I've noticed this too. Long may it continue (their demise)

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will get the same people who never seem to meet anyone,agitate use sarcasm & abuse the the forum yet remain unchallenged , rise above them mate & move on as they are not worth worrying about.

You are here to swing and have fun mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are bullies on here. Just as there's a clique too. That said, both seem to be less and less of a problem than they were, to my mind. Matt

I've noticed this too. Long may it continue (their demise)

S x"

Thought it was just me! Yes, long may it continue. There was a time when it was getting quite offensive regularly on the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could pull you use of English and punctuation to pieces, but I won't.

You may see it as bullying !

Then, of course, mine might be bad too and I will get bullied as well

Split infinitive; you instead of your; apostrophe before conjunction.

Politely pointing the above out, I hasten to add

smart arse

Sorry! Couldn't resist!

I'm sure you could, but sometimes more fun not to resist!

Apostrophe before conjunction? I don't see any. Unless you mean the apostrophe which is masquerading as a comma.

Politely pointing it out

Apologies. Comma before a conjunction. Mea Culpa

Goes to stand in corner with dunce's cap on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there are bullies on here, yes there are people on here who try to belittle other posters, and there are those who only reply or respond to there mates threads and posts, and I did use to think what a bunch of tools, but now I just post what I want when I want and other People can do whatever they want,

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By *erotic_adventureMan
over a year ago

London, Scotland & The North,

"Yes there are bullies on here, yes there are people on here who try to belittle other posters, and there are those who only reply or respond to there mates threads and posts, and I did use to think what a bunch of tools, but now I just post what I want when I want and other People can do whatever they want, "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You think its bad here?....try mumsnet, OMG!!! I posted as a newbie once there and all hell let loose, was a real dilemma that I wanted _iews on but even though I didn't post again on that thread the whole thing was removed because "the OP is a fake profile" WTF?

As I've said many many times before, if you don't want anyone to challenge your beliefs and opinions don't post them on a public forum, it is a simple choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I called them the "clubs clique""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ilthygorgeous1Couple
over a year ago

Oxford

"but while we talking jibba jabba why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree that sometimes insults and rude comments are thrown about BUT as you say in your OP, this site is for adults who are entitled to voice their opinion freely and openly. We can't all agree on everything so a debate / difference of opinion is good.

Never come across the Fab Snobs though

But what your saying here is different to what is currently being discussed in the obesity thread 2 at the moment, they are all slating people who have a different negative opinion of obese fat people a tad ironic id say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You think its bad here?....try mumsnet, OMG!!! I posted as a newbie once there and all hell let loose, was a real dilemma that I wanted _iews on but even though I didn't post again on that thread the whole thing was removed because "the OP is a fake profile" WTF?

As I've said many many times before, if you don't want anyone to challenge your beliefs and opinions don't post them on a public forum, it is a simple choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea why did they wear helmets?

Also shouldnt say anything if you cant take the negative comments back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but while we talking jibba jabba why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? "

So they didn't injure themselves before getting to there intended target? I suppose once there it's pointless removing it seconds beforehand........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will get the same people who never seem to meet anyone,agitate use sarcasm & abuse the the forum yet remain unchallenged , rise above them mate & move on as they are not worth worrying about.

You are here to swing and have fun mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never come across the Fab Snobs though

So why are you quoting my post in relation to another thread? I've not slated anyone

My post on here is in relation to the OP on this thread and if you read it again, seeing as you've quoted it, I agree that insults and rude comment are thrown about. I'm confused as to why you think that's ironic?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Never come across the Fab Snobs though

No, they are saying that abusive and derogatory comments are not welcome against anybody but on that thread specifically about fat people.

Saying you don't like someone because of an attribute or kink or hair colour is fine. Using abusive, hurtful lanudge to get your point across is not.

There are bullies on here. I've been victim more than a few times and I've no doubt I will be acused of being a perpetrator before now as well. The trouble with the term bullying is that the threshold is set at very different levels for everyone.

There are bullies in all walks of life and while we should work to eliminate them we must also learn how to deal with them and the way they make us feel otherwise our lives will be ruled by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's that social media outlet phenomenon of people feeling empowered by the relative anonymity of their posts and contrasted with their insecurities. They attack because it feels like the right thing to do. It's like on face book when someone puts a picture of something like a dog being abused and everyone goes "thats disgusting" well of course it is, no one would disagree but being the most outraged about it doesn't make a difference. Do something about it if you feel that strongly, I find it depressing. It's not difficult to disagree with someone without resorting to insults. those who do however

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 21/12/14 09:08:16]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sometimes, only sometimes people don't know when to stop & the baying wolves bit is unpleasant.

but the mix of posters changes, new posters become prolific posters, then become weary of it and go, other new posters appear and the cycle continues...

it is sad to see when people complain how unwelcoming it, become well known and then don't welcome others.

but hey, I ain't perfect.

do your thing thing, but be true to yourself. I ain't going to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/14 09:16:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never come across the Fab Snobs though

So why are you quoting my post in relation to another thread? I've not slated anyone

Because you stated on the other thread that some comments were disgusting, which appears different to what your staing here "

But I said on this thread that insults and rude comments ARE thrown about in the Forums? How is that different?

I really have no idea what your problem is with my posts on these Forums but you seem to have gone to a lot of effort to follow my posts and to quote me from a different thread!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

doesn't read that way to us, we are somone saying what a lot think. He's right, if you ask a question an someone doesn't like it they can't help themselves to get involved. Rather than move on."

see... that is all in the interpretation of the written word.....

it "could" be seen as an agressive way of controlling what people can and can't say.....

I make no apologises for having certain _iews on certain subjects... the point of a forum is that it is a discussion... if you only want to listen to people who agree with you on every single point... that's not a discussion....

people have this habit of getting umbridge with people who don't agree or for having the audacity to challenge it.... you can either listen to it, and have a discussion.... or you can cry "victim".....

i'll have a lot more respect people who do the first, even if i don't agree and raise other points (as you do in discussions) then if you do the 2nd... because you then do true victims a real disservice.....

the OP said this

"This site is for adults to be free and open ???"

and it is.... open to agree and disagree... that word again... discussion

"You don't have anything nice to say ??don't. "

that is bordering on dictating.... so if someone says something that is legal, but i disagree... i am not suppose allowed to comment..... sorry... that is BS, and i will call BS anytime i see it......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is some people only seem to be able to disagree with other people by becoming insulting towards those they don't agree with. There is no need for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far to many nasty people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really agree with this. There does seem to be a "clique" that post negative comments. Luckily Im thick skinned where as new people to the site may be put off. Hope these "few" will see the error of there ways!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Disagreeing with someone doesn't make them judgemental, or a forum snob.

I've been around internet forums since 1997 and can tell you, compared to some, Fab Forums are pretty tame. Mostly because the mods do step in then things get out of hand. You should go on Pagan Forums for proper trolling and flamewars. Or any religious forum really.

Yes, I've seen the dogpiles, and sometimes have participated, although when it gets silly I try to withdraw. But to last on any forum you need a thick skin, and try not to get too precious. You want to post a personal point of _iew? Be very prepared to back it up, citing examples if need be. Oh, and show some humour. The biggest dogpiles tend to be on the more arrogant and humourless posts.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"The trouble is some people only seem to be able to disagree with other people by becoming insulting towards those they don't agree with. There is no need for that."

I quite agree. I was on a thread recently where there was one fellow who kept disagreeing with everybody else claiming that they were all spouting a load of rubbish. Each time he made a contribution that was the extent of this vocabulary . It was pretty pathetic altogether.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

doesn't read that way to us, we are somone saying what a lot think. He's right, if you ask a question an someone doesn't like it they can't help themselves to get involved. Rather than move on.

see... that is all in the interpretation of the written word.....

it "could" be seen as an agressive way of controlling what people can and can't say.....

the OP said this

"This site is for adults to be free and open ???"

and it is.... open to agree and disagree... that word again... discussion

"You don't have anything nice to say ??don't. "

The point I was making ! Agee or disagree ! fine just don't be rude or nasty about it.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I find some people post an opinion as 'fact' and then get upset when people post a different opinion.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As always, mods are not here 24 hours a day and don't always see everything so if you see any "bullying" on the site then report it if it has been missed by the mods. Mods do step in and ask for people to cool it ( obviously this has been missed ) but normally just deal with things if needed.

Disagreeing with someone isn't bullying though and sometimes people are mistaking that for bullying....but I will be the first to admit that sometimes threads don't look pleasant at all.

Report if needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so now you are bullying people into taking on what you believe.....

irony anyone?????

doesn't read that way to us, we are somone saying what a lot think. He's right, if you ask a question an someone doesn't like it they can't help themselves to get involved. Rather than move on.

see... that is all in the interpretation of the written word.....

it "could" be seen as an agressive way of controlling what people can and can't say.....

the OP said this

"This site is for adults to be free and open ???"

and it is.... open to agree and disagree... that word again... discussion

"You don't have anything nice to say ??don't. "

You seem really keen on defending the bullies and I can only come to one conclusion why. I guess thats why so many of us avoid the forums.

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