FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on meeting not on own territory

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Until now I have always met guys in my meeting place, which was a friends flat, unfortunately I no longer have that option open to me and have just arranged to meet a guy at his, I'm a bit nervous about this and wondered if any one has any advice to give, especially with the safety aspect, my friend was the only one who knew about this life I lead and I had her at the end of the phone if needed but now I don't

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would meet in a public place first of all just to see how you feel about him,I would also find another friend even if its one of the women on here that you can give your number too and let them know where you are just for safety

Personally I would'nt go to a guys house on my own,my mind works overtime and there are a million things i could worry about being in a strange house that I don't know

You could be walking into anything and be unable to walk out of it

If I were single I would play in clubs only and especially on a first meet,but im not single and don't know how other single fems play it on here xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good advice above, also are you still friends with the mentioned person? As if you let them know and ask to perhaps call at a certain time to check your ok? Though i think the advice above is good, and yea try and go to a club instead? If you go as a couple it will be cheaper so he may not mind xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree Honeypot. Too many risks for me personally. Place could be wired up with cams recording your fun. His mates could just call in as they were passing by (yeah right). You may be locked in etc. Clubs are the safest places to play in your circumstance I would imagine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is difficult as a single female but this is what I do.

Always meet in a public place first. Alway tell a friend where I'm going and what time i'm due back. Ring/text her to let her know I'm ok and if I go to a guys place then I will ring her after Ive left to let her know I'm safe.

I suppose its not foolproof and there are risks involved but i've been ok so far!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would defo need to meet in a public place first...even (or especially even) if it was my territory.

i also give numbers to a very close friend of mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single woman and I would NEVER meet a man at his without a social meet first: I'm not crazy and don't wish to happen across a crazy!

I have a couple of male friends on here who I tell who I'm meeting, where or when.

I don't play bareback to minimise risk to myself. It kinds of defeats the object if I then rock up to some strange blokes pad - with restraints - not knowing the kind of reception I'm going to get!

I'm not being funny but there are some questions that really don't need asking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree Honeypot. Too many risks for me personally. Place could be wired up with cams recording your fun. His mates could just call in as they were passing by (yeah right). You may be locked in etc. Clubs are the safest places to play in your circumstance I would imagine x"

Gosh i never think about cams or people popping in!! Although i feel safe as im with mat, in terms of cams thats got to be a worry!! That said we prefere to meet at theirs as i dont like the idea of them knowing where we live xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As I said my friend was the only one I could let into my secret life but she is not around anymore and I don't have anyone else I could trust, I have also never been to a club before as I have never fancied the idea and the meet is for 8.30 tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Really its up to you how you manage your safety you're a grown woman and we can only give advice as to what we'd do in the same situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As I said my friend was the only one I could let into my secret life but she is not around anymore and I don't have anyone else I could trust, I have also never been to a club before as I have never fancied the idea and the meet is for 8.30 tonight"

it's still not too late to arrange to meet somewhere public before hand.

also, is there no-one on the site you have met that you can confide in..just to give the ok after...or even approach one of his verifications?

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

as a single guy who does accomadate

and has met loads of single ladies at my house

yes there are risks

but i would like to bet that more ladies have been acosted in a taxi than from guys on here,

hopefully you have chatted to him on the phone did he sound sincer did you feel at ease with him then go with your gut feelings,

and have a good time

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

as a single guy i always instigate a meet in a public place, purely to put the woman at ease.I think you get a better gut feeling when face to face and also feel more comfortable.Then hopefully move on to a more private place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a single guy who does accomadate

and has met loads of single ladies at my house

yes there are risks

but i would like to bet that more ladies have been acosted in a taxi than from guys on here,

hopefully you have chatted to him on the phone did he sound sincer did you feel at ease with him then go with your gut feelings,

and have a good time "

no-one doubts it, but i wouldn't want anyone of either sex to meet the one person that does have ulterior motives or wants to take advantage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok I have one guy from here that I have met that I think I can confide in as we have become quite good friends, when I talk to the guy I am meeting tomorrow I will say that we meet for a drink somewhere first and will insist that he gives me his address to let the friend know where I will be, does this sound like a good idea?

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

yes

it`s a very good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As my ex was always raking a risk with work we would always follow the rules

meet public if poss

who & what mobile number - if it's his home ask for land line & his name to check with directory enq. If ok then meet up & call a friend 15-30 mine in to say I'm ok

always always watch your drinks being poured & don't leave them - not on a first meet. Date rape happens! Tell someone if your stopping over & when you leave. If you put in a speed dial to your friend you can dial & leave the phone on if something happens you don't like

keep a record if poss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's risk in anything, if you meet someone in a regular nightclub and end up going home together there's a risk there too so I wouldn't get too paranoid about everyone being up to no good.

I'd echo the previous points, a public meet first, if he's genuine he would totally understand the reasons for that and be cool with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Until now I have always met guys in my meeting place, which was a friends flat, unfortunately I no longer have that option open to me and have just arranged to meet a guy at his, I'm a bit nervous about this and wondered if any one has any advice to give, especially with the safety aspect, my friend was the only one who knew about this life I lead and I had her at the end of the phone if needed but now I don't"

I personally would never go out to a guys house to meet for the first time, once your in there if you decide you dont like him or feel uncomfy it can be very hard to make your excuses and leave, now its easy for people to say you shouldnt need to make excuses just say you dont like them and go, but when your a single female on someone elses turf for the first time its not that easy as you never know how they going to react!

My advice is meet him in a pub or someone public and open so if you dont like him its easy to go with lots of people sround you so your not alone and if you do get on you can always go back to his after when you feel more at ease x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent advice!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am glad I am not single, I would probably never meet anyone !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am glad I am not single, I would probably never meet anyone !

Rugby a 'wuss' ? I don't believe it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am glad I am not single, I would probably never meet anyone !

Rugby a 'wuss' ? I don't believe it

I know!!!

What a shocker!!!

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

"It is difficult as a single female but this is what I do.

I suppose its not foolproof and there are risks involved but i've been ok so far!"

This is all sensible advice.. maybe I'd add that (assuming you have a friend/contact arranged) you should get them to call you, rather than you them.. any genuine fella is not going to mind at all that you take a call during your meet to make sure everything's OK..

Better safe than sorry - Hope it goes well!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on this subject I posted, I took note of everything that was said, arranged a friend to call while I was on my meet, arranged to meet in a public place etc........and then the ARSEHOLE stood me up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on this subject I posted, I took note of everything that was said, arranged a friend to call while I was on my meet, arranged to meet in a public place etc........and then the ARSEHOLE stood me up lol"

Aawwwwww

thats crap

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Although maybe for the best,he probably did'nt like that fact that you had changed plans a bit to make yourself feel comfortable with meeting him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stupid here went to meet two gents at theirs on my own, and lived to tell the tales and thoroughly enjoyed myself on both occassions!

I would advise meeting in a public place first, unless one has build up a good enough rapport and hunch about the other person that he/they are not going to arrange a secret gang bang and behave like a pack of wolves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a prick! Maybe it's for the best anyway. Onwards and upwards! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always meet socially, wine bar, bistro, coffee shop ... and thats sensible, if for no other reason than to check out the girl i'm meeting , and for her to check me out. and the rules of engagement are really simple, a couple of hours of social intercourse .. and if both "click", then to arrange either for then or a future meet, a discreet hotel room. and if thats terrific, then either more of the same, or back to either's place. it works for me, and to be really honest, it works well for my swinging partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would strongly suggest meeting in a public place - ideally, you will already have seen this person on webcam and chatted to them.

I once allowed a girl I met on another site to come to my hotel room even though I had only seen her profile (without a pic) and exchanged texts. I was terrified that when i opened the door there'd be a gang of men waiting to pounce on me and beat me up. As it turned out, she was absolutely gorgeous and we had a fantastic evening. We're still in touch but she lives a long long way away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would strongly suggest meeting in a public place - ideally, you will already have seen this person on webcam and chatted to them.

never tried that. any chance of her email address

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Whilst there is a feeling of confort and security meeting people on your own turf........ it is generally a false one.

I have scratched my head a few times at women's comments of "I always feel safer in my own home"....... why? They know where you live - you don't know where they live. They could have a throw-away phone number and you know feck all about them.

When someone gives you their home details, they are placing a huge amount of trust in you.

Would you really shit on your own doorstep if you wanted to do something bad? Especially when there will be a trace of who you are or more to the point where you are.... texts, pc etc all have the history.

How do people know who else you know and could send around..... now you know where they live.

I am not saying it is 100% safe.... just that there are a lot of positives.

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