FabSwingers.com forum: Getting it up

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc.

I'll be honest and say I've suffered from it.

Not always, just sometimes and never at home with the wife.

Probably gonna turn into one of those threads that turn into a judgemental slanging match. Crack on. I have all day

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't know why anyone would have a go at you for discussing something I am sure everyone has had experience of at some point. There will be times when a woman isn't quite as physically aroused as she'd like to be but it is not as visually apparent as it is for a man. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people shouldn't jump on the judgemental bandwagon with this one surely? nerves effect diffent folk in different ways

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ah good. I guess I'm being judgemental about being judgemental... Ironic.

Anyhow, hopefully I'm not alone in this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought its just nerves and feeling a bit of pressure

Don't worry about it,sometimes meets can move a little quickly,you just need to slow the pace to something more comfortable for you,your wife is there too maybe she can help more to make sure you're ready?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She always does. I never fail. I just don't instantly spring to attention.

The magic pill helps... Actually it helps for several days afterwards.

What I do love about it though is that in a club environment it's never judged. In real life terms you may be ridiculed for it.

Kudos to us swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know that feeling the first time we went to a club I couldn't get it up but have never had a problem before on any of our meets so your not alone .

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Human body has mind of its own .so I dare say a fair few had issues getting turned on. There are no garentees your body will response way you want it exactly when you want . I've had a few meets where the guy hasn't been able to get hard .its just way it goes sometimes.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

My take on this is that in a swinging situation the male may be concentrating on foreplay for the female(s) but might not always receive much in return. There is a balance between the lady who wanks you all the time you are busy and the one who doesn't offer stimulation at all.

When swapping we don't necessarily start with each other and then swap but since we each know how to turn the other on so well perhaps that's a better way to get started.

Kudos to the OP for the honest approach to this issue.

Him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I have sex with a guy in a public room in a club (if the private rooms are full) I feel sorry for him - as seemingly about half the club stands watching us! Most guys i'm with manage valiantly - but i'm not at all sure i'd be able to get/sustain an erection with all those guys watching if I was the guy! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it's a very tetchy issue for most people.

As a lady above stated, the female form may also suffer from this.. It's not just us blokes, it's nice and refreshing to know that.

Thanks for all of the honesty though folks.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc.

I'll be honest and say I've suffered from it.

Not always, just sometimes and never at home with the wife.

Probably gonna turn into one of those threads that turn into a judgemental slanging match. Crack on. I have all day

"
. Happens to everyone sometimes . If I have come usually need half an hour recovery time to go rocksolid again iunless the lady is really good with her hands . When in the club in Cap d Agde I set myself a target to fuck three ladies per night . In this environment some ladies expect to you be rock hard without any stimulation from them. Does not bother me as this is a hard core swingers club where everything goes and you have to be up to thr job..Some fantastic experiences there and quite often selected to perform in cage based on cock size . You just have to accept where there may be occasions where you are not hard enough or just wait for additional stimulation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You aren't wrong. It's easy to put us off with an audience. Although, once I'm there. I'm there and I'm good and ready. Anyone can watch, I'm generally too lost in my own thoughts at that point to notice.

The other thing is the size issue, that's also a factor which I'm sure some of us suffer with. But that's a whole different thread.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Whenever I have sex with a guy in a public room in a club (if the private rooms are full) I feel sorry for him - as seemingly about half the club stands watching us! Most guys i'm with manage valiantly - but i'm not at all sure i'd be able to get/sustain an erection with all those guys watching if I was the guy! Xx"
. I actually enjoy bring watched in clubs , especially in Cap d Agde where it is all hard core action. I would not enter the cage if I felt unable to perform. Prefer to wait for thirty minutes .

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Something I haven't read here is that it's more difficult for the guy than many couples/ladies may think.

However significant or however small the pressure may be, there is always some.

Even if the cock in question is big sometimes it can be ogled at or becomes a talking point - usually by the male half of a couple (from experience).

Often too, a guy gets nowhere near the amount of foreplay from a lady as he may like to enjoy. Often, it's all about the pleasure of the lady. I'm not complaining about that as I love pleasuring a lady - but the amount of stimulation, or lack of it can be a factor.

Being able to relax it absolutely key.

Relax guys, go with the flow and may the flow be with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Something I haven't read here is that it's more difficult for the guy than many couples/ladies may think.

However significant or however small the pressure may be, there is always some.

Even if the cock in question is big sometimes it can be ogled at or becomes a talking point - usually by the male half of a couple (from experience).

Being able to relax it absolutely key.

Relax guys, go with the flow and may the flow be with you

Great advice. And I agree to some extent on the foreplay issue...

I don't mean to make a judgement but the whole 'scebe' appears to stem from pleasuring the female in any situation... Not a complaint... What guy is their right mind complains about that?

But it can leave is feeling a tad underwhelmed. I always have G to go home with though so for me it's a whole load easier to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to me at Chams. Arranged to meet a couple in there and failed to get an erection. I'm pretty sure it was down to anxiety, we had a good time in other ways, but still, I was pissed off about it. Yet I can wank to my hearts content in bed. Would love to try the blue pill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had that sort of reaction the OP is referring to, at a club on a fetish night - my first ever visit on such a night...

A beautiful lady in latex managed to convince me to strip and throughout the course of the night spanked my bottom silly, amongst other things... For whatever reason, I felt very cold and as a result I just couldn't get aroused at all... I'm not sure if I was cold because of the temperature or perhaps it was the nerves....it was frustrating though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had that sort of reaction the OP is referring to, at a club on a fetish night - my first ever visit on such a night...

I fully understand this cold feeling you refer to... Rather than get me up, if I'm cold. You may as well give up. It shrinks and bloody hibernate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play post of the day award goes to......

Any gentleman that says they have never at least once had an issue is a fibber says us.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting one - never (touch wood and pun intended) struggled but I think it's a very psychological thing - don't know what to suggest other than avoid putting pressure on yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She always does. I never fail. I just don't instantly spring to attention.

The magic pill helps... Actually it helps for several days afterwards.

What I do love about it though is that in a club environment it's never judged. In real life terms you may be ridiculed for it.

Kudos to us swingers

I had this the other day, I was playing in a club with quite a watching crowd and we invited a single gentleman to join us.

All ok but you could tell he was nervous, to the point that he began to lose his erection, which made him more shaky.

As I was tied up at the time I whispered to him to stop worrying about it I felt there was too much pressure from the crowd for him....the look of relief from him was huge.

We then took it to a private room where he had no further issues, I would have hated for that to have been the end of play for him and us.

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By *y2funMan
over a year ago

DUDLEY

"How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc. "

i'm sure many do/have done...... never been to a club but not sure I'd want to be watched by half a dozen blokes.... I guess the best way would not to have any pre conceived expectations and just go with the flow....

i'm not the biggest bloke in the world so that would eb an issue for me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc.

i'm not the biggest bloke in the world so that would eb an issue for me... "

I'm with you here. The size issue is a problem. Or you would expect it to be. However in our few experiences, in a club setting. It's not been made an issue in the slightest.

It's quite a revelation. Again, it's a whole different thread in regards to size and what works best, I'm also not the biggest guy in the world. That doesn't mean I can't rock the boat when I need to. It also doesn't mean that it's enough for everybody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting one - never (touch wood and pun intended) struggled but I think it's a very psychological thing - don't know what to suggest other than avoid putting pressure on yourself.

Do tell us your secrets

seriously though. For me, if I walked into every environment and was springing to attention left right and centre. I'd be worried I wasn't taking it too seriously and I think that's more of an issue when you are part of a Couple.

For the single guys, I feel for you. You don't necessarily have to have to worry about anything but that's a double-edged sword because when you can't / don't perform the way you know you can it's even more stress and anxiety which further complicates things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it easy on yourself, the pressure will make it worse, just enjoy

Her

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By *onestjohn1962Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Fair play post of the day award goes to......

Any gentleman that says they have never at least once had an issue is a fibber says us....."

Agree with this - age and anxiety catch up with everybody at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband always struggles in the club environment unless he's in a private room.

I'm so please I'm a laydee

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By *y2funMan
over a year ago

DUDLEY

"age and anxiety catch up with everybody at some point

yeah esp for us older blokes.... the thought of some 6'4 bull walking round with a 10" hard on isn't scary enough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was my biggest worry when we went to Libs the first time, but thankfully it didn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"age and anxiety catch up with everybody at some point

yeah esp for us older blokes.... the thought of some 6'4 bull walking round with a 10" hard on isn't scary enough!

Indeed....

But as mentioned earlier, a certain blue magic can assist us older gentlemen, to rise to the occasion, given a modicum of encouragement from the ladies ..!! No encouragement means little or no result....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a very tetchy issue for most people.

As a lady above stated, the female form may also suffer from this.. It's not just us blokes, it's nice and refreshing to know that.

Thanks for all of the honesty though folks. "

I can get turned off really easily. Easier for me to hide it I suppose. Had guys that suffered the same, we just diverted attention and did something else.

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

"How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc.

I'll be honest and say I've suffered from it.

Not always, just sometimes and never at home with the wife.

If you're not aroused then you're not aroused. Even viagra can't help if your not feeling aroused when with someone no matter how sexy they are. Viagra only helps the blood flow, it doesn't actually make you horny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a meet with a couple, it was one of my first encounters with another woman, she was hot and filthy, he wasn't bad, when we got naked , he had the smallest and I mean smallest cock ive ever seen and was obviously struggling to get it up, to hide his discomfort, he spent all night pretend to fuck her, while she moaned like a porn star, it was quite funny but at the time I was thinking omg what is going on haha

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Red bull.. Chill and play .. Turn yourself on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A had over about 12 hours had almost an entire bottle of bourbon.

struggled like hell lol

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"How many of you suffer with struggling to get it up at a club / meet etc.

I'll be honest and say I've suffered from it.

Not always, just sometimes and never at home with the wife.

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

The mind can play terrible tricks on us in all kinds of situations not just when in sexual situations but in every day life so we never get hung up by it.

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