FabSwingers.com forum: Single men at swingers club's

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Id love to go to a swingers club but dont no what really goes on, how it goes on an if id be left on my own in a corner feeling uncomfortable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll be fine, your not ginger lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the best thing to do is stand at the bar, that way you can join in any conversations...do say hello to people, especially the women, as from personal experience, theres nothing worse than men who dont speak to you, and then expect you to play with them when your back in the rooms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i haven't been to one yet, although would like to.

Found out today that Chams in Darlaston want nearly £90 for single guys (incl membership)

Ouch!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Well i haven't been to one yet, although would like to.

Found out today that Chams in Darlaston want nearly £90 for single guys (incl membership)

Ouch!"

But you only pay the £50 membership once a year

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By *he BananamanMan
over a year ago

WORCESTERSHIRE

well first of all you don't go and sit on your own!,go to the bar,jacuzzi or wherever seems quite busy and try to mingle,get involved in conversations.

if you go around alone thats the way you will stay all your visit,get to talk to people and get known.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

its not like a normal bar tho is it? do you jus chat then walk up to them later an ask to play or just play? I dont want to make a dick of myself or offend

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If your shy and are not comfortable with doing any of the good suggestions above, my advice would be go onto the smoking deck whether your a smoker or not, your bound to get into a conversation on there. Above all else smile and look approachable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do women approach men in there? i get the image that theres loads of single men there an couples wouldnt want them there. An the prices? is it expencive on the likes of the townhousE.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Do women approach men in there? i get the image that theres loads of single men there an couples wouldnt want them there. An the prices? is it expencive on the likes of the townhousE. "

In my opinion the best thing a single guy can do, is look in the events section for when there is going to be a social at a club, often (not always) if it is a social event the club waverers the membership for a single guy so you only have to pay the door fee, then if you like the place you can always join to go on a regular night. Or you could ask if anyone is going to a club the same night as you(not necessarily for a meet) but just so you have someone that you can at least say hi too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do women approach men in there? i get the image that theres loads of single men there an couples wouldnt want them there. An the prices? is it expencive on the likes of the townhousE. "

im a single woman who goes to clubs alone, i can only tell you from my point of view so its not a club rule its just how i like things

Personally i like guys who will take the time and effort to come and talk to me, that goes a long way with me, most guys just follow be around all night waiting for some other guy to make the move then they just pounce while im playing, that for me just shows bad manners and laziness, if a guy cant even be bothered to say hi why should i such his cock? lol

I do give guys i like signs, im not really brave enough to go over and say "hi, fancy playing?" lol but i will walk by and smile, several times if needed and that usually gives the guy the idea your interested, or make some daft reason up to go talk to them and see if it leads anywhere

Everyone likes different i guess, i know women who just like to go into rooms and shag anyone going and dont really want any conversation, you just have to try and decide what kid of people they are by how they acting i guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'll be fine, your not ginger lol x

He he he

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do women approach men in there? i get the image that theres loads of single men there an couples wouldnt want them there. An the prices? is it expencive on the likes of the townhousE.

im a single woman who goes to clubs alone, i can only tell you from my point of view so its not a club rule its just how i like things

Yes I concur. I too go alone to clubs, much easier than finding someone to shag from a site!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I concur. I too go alone to clubs, much easier than finding someone to shag from a site!!"

100% agree with that, i live about a mile away from chameleons and because im so close now days if i meet anyone from off here i meet them in a pub near chams and if they cancel last min or dont show i just go into the club alone, that way its not a wasted night for me, in fact most of my meets are club meets now days because as you have said its so much easier than looking on sites

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

You have to remember that couples & single ladies have quite a few single guys to look over before they decide.... Use this to your advantage!

As has been said, you must chat to people, but not always about sex and address BOTH if a couple. Once you have had your chat, move on saying something like "Well, I am off for a wander, if you fancy playing later on, please come and look for me" There is no problem "bumping" into them a bit later on and asking how they are doing, but watch the signs and if they are at all negative, move on.

That way, you are letting them know that you are interested and you are giving them the freedom to look about without feeling pressured! It worked for us when guys at clubs used this method. Just make sure that you are polite and clean and you will have done all you can.

Good luck to you

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By *he BananamanMan
over a year ago

WORCESTERSHIRE

thats exactly what i did and like the place and the people so applied for membership so i can go on regular basis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Id love to go to a swingers club but dont no what really goes on, how it goes on an if id be left on my own in a corner feeling uncomfortable?

"
to be honest i feel sorry for single guys at clubs, the prices they charge is stupid...

if i was you i would get yourself a woman to go with, much cheaper and so much more fun...

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually this is going to sound really harsh....and I don't mean it to

I don't get why guys are big enough, bad enough and brave enough to join a site like this, yet they aren't big enough, bad enough and brave enough to walk in the doors of clubs by themselves

just me....

the biggest impediment to single guys in clubs are single guys, they who wander round, won't say boo to a goose all night, but whenever anyone's go to play.. they are the 1st people over, hovering like hyena's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Am a scouser so its in my nature to be confident i just want to no how it all works the rules and things so i dont make a dick of myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I hate the wanking wolves that hunt in packs.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

OK, first time in a club.

I would as a single male maybe do your investigations first. Ask people about the club to see which is best to go and what night as alot of clubs have certain eves where single males can go.

Brouse the club site lots and read all rules and regs.Look for the dress code and make an effort with how you look and smell.

Make sure you have condoms to hand if you get lucky and produce them early when about to play so the couple lady know you have thought about their and your protection.

Asuume nout will happen to you and if it does then all great.

Chat with anyone male or female when you can.

If your near the bar and someone is eating some nuts(peanuts)at the bar or mints if they have them then you can bring that into a quick chat possibly. I was in a club and me and a lady were nibbling the sweeties at the bar and chatted about which colours we liked the most.

Have a wander around and smile and be approachable.

Cant think of much else to say but remember there are so many single males so you need to stand out for a good reason, not a bad one. Get to some socials tho x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this post great input thanxz..im off to eurakas friday my first club..be gentle..lol...yesss another single guy thr..

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By *ids bull 1Man
over a year ago

midlands

crap club m8 go to chams pay the extra not far from there

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Eurekas is hrs from Chams

One is in Birmingham and the other is in Kent

Ive been to both and had a great time at both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"actually this is going to sound really harsh....and I don't mean it to

I don't get why guys are big enough, bad enough and brave enough to join a site like this, yet they aren't big enough, bad enough and brave enough to walk in the doors of clubs by themselves

just me....

correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a difference between asking a question on a supposedly helpful internet forum and taking the first step through the door at a club.

Good on you for asking how to go on when you are there. Do some research on the club section and try and get a feel for various ones in your area.

Personally I think clubs are great. Good luck with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Id love to go to a swingers club but dont no what really goes on, how it goes on an if id be left on my own in a corner feeling uncomfortable?

to be honest i feel sorry for single guys at clubs, the prices they charge is stupid...

if i was you i would get yourself a woman to go with, much cheaper and so much more fun..."

It could be cheaper to take a woman you meet off here to a club but it could be more expensive

Membership for 1 year is £50 for a single guy

Membership for a couple is £15

BUT

You need 1 couples membership for every individual woman you take to the club, you can't get a membership for you and Miss A then the week after take Miss B.

The law states that all clubs must have the personal details of every person in the club at anytime so if you take Miss B you will need to register her with the club so that means a 2nd membership

Take a different girl every week and that's another £15 every week on top of the entrance fee.

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

The biggest tip we can give is make conversation!! We go to clubs to meet single guys and sit in the bar chatting but there are hardly ever any guys there to chat to!! They are all hanging around the corridors or playrooms hoping something is going to kick off! they spend all night chatting to each other but if they went to the social area and chatted they would have a lot more luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think being yourself is the best policy and talking to people if you sit down on your own you look a bit of a plum i know some club are cliky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always go to clubs, well Chams in Darlaston in particular. We have never had a meet in someones home or a hotel. What we like about Chams is that if you meet someone, get on great and chat and have fun, then go and play, well its ok to go off on your own then, and perhaps meet up again later, or not, its just easygoing and you dont feel you have to spend hours in their company.

Definitely talk to people and dont come on to the female and ignore the guy. In fact i love it when guys address my guy and ask his permission to touch me as well as asking me. Its nice and its courteous. Above all dont look desperate or too serious, it is fun so smile and chat and that way im sure it will be more productive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good evening all. I too am a single guy who has yet to go to a club. All the advice that has been given on this post is has been really good and if I may point out a few that have been particularly helpful, they are Rumour, _ruit, higgi229 and iconic1. Apologies if I've missed anyone else but they really caught my attention.

And to _abio, I appreciate your opinion 100%, but I don't feel you have to be 'big and bad' to be on this site, just interested, polite, curious and honest, so surely the same would apply to going to a meet? You have the benefit of experience in your favour so this isn't such a daunting world for you but with the likes of the OP and myself, we are just asking advice before attempting to see if we can be accepted into this lifestyle.

I apologise if this is a bit blunt, but I believe honesty is the best policy to coin a phrase.

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

Dr Rick Here Again

You are worrying over nothing. If you go as a single guy heres what you do (Its standard single guy procedure).Pay your money at reception. Go to your locker and in there will be a white towel. Get undressed and wrap the towel tightly round your waist. Forget the bar and all this conversation rubbish. Proceed straight to the darkest room Creep up behind a couple enjoying themselves and start pulling your winkie for all its worth. You will either get some action or worst case be ignored. If ignored mve on to the next couple you are bound to get lucky in the end. Well thats what i see every week any way, !!! Just be careful you dont have someones eye out though !! Hope that Helps !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dr Rick Here Again

Lol that is the truest thing i've heard rick lol but he wants to stand out and be original not a wolf.

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

My advice is dont do what ive seen a lot of guys do at clubs - that's follow them round all night like a stalker.(ive heard some couples consider getting injunctions against the worst ones!) Also try not to hover like a fly round a dog turd around the playrooms with your cock out.

When i went to clubs as a couple the single most annoying thing was guys trying to barge into a closed playroom. In fact one guy tried to do it when we were with another couple and the other couples husband, closed the door with his head still in it - done the trick though, didnt do it again!

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By *thletic gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Funky

"You'll be fine, your not ginger lol x

PMSLMFAO

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Its great to see that advice has helped some to decide to go for it and go to a club as a single.

It is easier of couse if you go as a couple as you already have someone to play with when you get there.

So try and see if you know any nice single fems and if they fancy joining you at a club.

I have gone with a few good friends to clubs and am taking a very lovely new friend to tease in cambridge in a couple of weeks.

But if you do go alone then do your homework, make the effort, stick to rules and dont touch without asking. Chat to the male of the couple too. Polite, respectful,thoughtful and chatty is the way to go.

I love men who smell good as that to me will often open up a conversation to me, if a single guy or couple is nearby within nice smelling distance then I will often comment on who is it that smells so damn good? That normally brings out a smile when having a sniff in a very silly flirtatious way.

Watch out for signals to the single guy. Smiles,hair twiddling, facial expressions and general body laguage and that isnt just from the females lol. If you see a couple and your in chat with them, if the guy has his arms crossed and stands with his side to you a fair amount putting a barrier between you and his missus then maybe he is saying not on your nelly.

It is worth going once to a club and getting to know the staff. Tell them this is your first time and your nervous. They will normally be very supportive(well a good club will).

Good luck all. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi,

we go to the club as a couple and the men who come up and make a conversation with us stand a very good chance against those who dont, usual chat, hello, name, come here often then do you play with singles as well as couples, if they say yes then reply, well, might see you around later, thanks...if your nice and polite you then stand a very good chance!..

saying that...we are going to chams in birmingham this sat daytime so if you fancy meeting us there and saying hello, your most welcome,

jon and joxx

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"Dr Rick Here Again

Lol that is the truest thing i've heard rick lol but he wants to stand out and be original not a wolf."

Excuuu-uuuse me, nowt wrong with being a wolf! Sadly, Dr Rick's correct, but it depends on if you want to get your end away with ANYTHING, or if you want to converse with people in a casual, relaxed manner but possibly leave a club full of people shagging, having not had any yourself.

Me, I prefer the latter, though obviously I DO want to have some fun, but I'd rather not intimidate or harrass anyone or make them feel uncomfortable, so I make the effort to chat rather than stalk. I've walked away from Chams on many occasions with blue balls, but have made plenty of friends who subsequently invite me to parties etc because they know I'm an articulate, normal chap (and I have a MASSIVE cock. Possibly). The rewards may not be instant.

Put it this way, it's great to see the jacuzzi with one couple in, along with loads of single blokes who haven't bothered to say anything, just sitting there staring intently, pulling their puds. I've walked up, been invited in, past these disgruntled chaps who obviously think they are first in a queue, played with my friends and we leave the guys fwapping away frustratedly. Why? Alas, not because of my sexual prowess, but because I made an effort, got to know the couple beforehand, treated them as PEOPLE, rather than just assume that as soon as they step away from the bar area it is Game On and pounce, knob in hand.

As with anything, you get out what you put in. It's a little awkward sitting there on your own, sometimes tricky to break the ice, but such is life, nothing comes easily. If you haven't got the social skills to pass the time of day with someone, or haven't got the balls to put yourself in a different social situation to that which you are used, you are doomed anyway, no advice you get here will be any use to you.

There is no magic key or password for enjoying yourself at swinging clubs - if you are going to "make a dick of yourself", that's going to happen anyway, a social retard can't be helped by a forum online, you should know what's appropriate and what's not. If you don't, better to go to a hooker, pay your money, get laid, than add to the legions of twats who haven't got a clue and make the term "single gent" a negative one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"actually this is going to sound really harsh....and I don't mean it to

I don't get why guys are big enough, bad enough and brave enough to join a site like this, yet they aren't big enough, bad enough and brave enough to walk in the doors of clubs by themselves

just me....

Could not agree more, some guys wont talk to me when I am getting my drink from the bar, but dont mind trying to touch me when I am playing on the bed or in the pool !

There is a very easy way for single guys in clubs.

1/ Look smart and NOT like you have just finished work

2/ Be clean, and smell clean.

3/ Be talkative and confident without being over the top pushy

4/Do not swear like a bricklayer

5/ Show you are interested in the person you are talking to and dont keep looking left and right all the time for a better opportunity.

6/ Keep whatever happens to yourself and dont brag to other members who you have just spent some time with.

7/ Do not slap, bite or get rough without being invited to do so.

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

good advice

Big difference between here and clubs is the cost, and clubs are social and not remote..

Do clubs have showers?, if you get sweaty for whatever reason you could always make a pitstop and be fresh

Could also have the mindset of im going to explore, and not im gonna shag some randoms

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

oh ive never been to a club, btw :0

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Good evening all. I too am a single guy who has yet to go to a club. All the advice that has been given on this post is has been really good and if I may point out a few that have been particularly helpful, they are Rumour, _ruit, higgi229 and iconic1. Apologies if I've missed anyone else but they really caught my attention.

I apologise if this is a bit blunt, but I believe honesty is the best policy to coin a phrase."

thanks for pointing me out..... but we were all new once, and i had to learn just the same was as everyone else! I don't believe on being spoonfed advice as most of it is common sense ...

if you are big and brave enough to come on a site like this, then why are you not big and brave enough to go to a club....

sometimes life is case of trial and error, you are not always going to be told exactly what a situation is going to be like, so using just basic common sense is a key...... do your reading up on clubs and they tend to have all the information you need.... there isnt a special code you need to use...

there are two types on single guys that go to clubs.....

1) there is the type of guy that like i said, will just go there, talk to people (both people... not just one or the other to try and get there end away) will have a laugh, will use the facilities... and if they gets asked to play, then that is cool.... for them it is making friends first and if anything else were to happen then that is a bonus.....

2) the guy that will just stand there, will not say boo to a goose, will follow wherever there is naked flesh, will hunt in packs, will petrol all the rooms for a glimpse of play, and if anyone is about to play then they will the first to rush around, cock in hand hovering over anyone just to get there feel......

which do you think is likely to impress people more......

I have been known to go to clubs with ladies and one that a go with has a great "simple" trick to get a point across....

if there are a bunch of guys hovering over she will just turn around and say "I am only going to play with guys who took the time to find out what my name is........."

I think it gets across the point of that she is a human being, not just a piece of meet!

and thats is the difference between people in a) and people in b)

it was daunting for me at the beginning... i would assume it is daunting for most.... but then common sense and due diligence got me thru that!!!

it doesn't take rocket science to figure it all out......

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

" I don't believe on being spoonfed advice as most of it is common sense ... .."

Maybe not for you but I certainly see no reason why someone should not try to get information before thay go to a club!

Trouble with the forums is there are too many people trying to put others down! Just because "A" learn't everything from trial and error, why should "B" have to make those same mistakes? I always used to tell our son that he should learn from my mistakes and go out there and make his own set of mistakes. And I would say the same here to anyone wanting advice!

It is about time there was some tollerance towards people who want to get involved, but perhaps don't have quite the level of confidence of others!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"actually this is going to sound really harsh....and I don't mean it to

I don't get why guys are big enough, bad enough and brave enough to join a site like this, yet they aren't big enough, bad enough and brave enough to walk in the doors of clubs by themselves

just me....

Absolutly agree here! We had a Friday Eve at La Chambra. It was a complete nightmare. J was dressed to thrill, stockings and v v short skirt. Not one guy spoke to us. A few leered and drooled....but most just followed us like a pack of Hyenas. We went to play on our own in the end, there was a virual stampede when we went into a paly room!

Never again.....

Still our favorite club....just not on a friday!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

" I don't believe on being spoonfed advice as most of it is common sense ... ..

Maybe not for you but I certainly see no reason why someone should not try to get information before thay go to a club! "

thanks for that... is that where you stopped reading? because is what I put down two paragraphs below that....

"sometimes life is case of trial and error, you are not always going to be told exactly what a situation is going to be like, so using just basic common sense is a key...... do your reading up on clubs and they tend to have all the information you need.... there isnt a special code you need to use..."

" Trouble with the forums is there are too many people trying to put others down! Just because "A" learn't everything from trial and error, why should "B" have to make those same mistakes? I always used to tell our son that he should learn from my mistakes and go out there and make his own set of mistakes. And I would say the same here to anyone wanting advice!

It is about time there was some tollerance towards people who want to get involved, but perhaps don't have quite the level of confidence of others!

.... And just how long do you think it got be to be "this confident?" its not! I was never but it has gotten to a stage where I can cope..

when I still go to clubs, I still get nervous, when i got to house parties I still get nervous, and when I have private meets guest what... I still get nervous!

but my mistakes taught me is that in the end you have deal with what is set out, you can have a "wet paint" sign on a railing... but then how many people still decide to touch it and see for themselves......

I absolutely stand by the fact that I dont believe in the fact that being spoonfed advice helps... for some people it will go in one ear and fly staight out of the other, and that most advice is common sense....

read up on club beforehand

do your due diligence

treat people the way you want to be treated,

time and patience....

what part of that isn't common sense...

what I don't want to do is create clones.. where people do and say all the right things because it helps them get there legover...

in that respect there is a lot that can be said for individuality and finding your own way around the scene does absolutely wonders for that...and that involves people making there own mistakes and learning from them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best thing to do is stand at the bar, that way you can join in any conversations...do say hello to people, especially the women, as from personal experience, theres nothing worse than men who dont speak to you, and then expect you to play with them when your back in the rooms."
all of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabio, I'd like to thank you. As with many of the members who have posted on this thread you have given some very good, sensible advice and as a new single chap, I am 100% going to take this all on-board when I do eventually go to my first club.

By nature I am a polite and courteous person anyway and treat others in life as I'd like to be treated myself, so I truly believe that this should apply at a club as well. Being some sort of sex pest, following people around in the hope of getting lucky is a million miles away from where I stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in clubs on my own and some of the guys the way the hover scares me let alone the women or couples. Just been polite talkative in the right places ie the social area bar etc and you will be fine

since moving I'm not doing so good now like haha

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