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naughty sexyjokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

whos got the funniest sexy joke on here anytakres we often get text loads of sexy jokes any one got any to sendxxxxxxmark and sheila

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

a scottish woman walks in her bedroom to find her husband wanking into his wellie..

"hamish" she shouts,"you dirty bastard,stop fucking aboot"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

lol like that onexxxxxxxxxxx

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By *cite6662002Couple
over a year ago

glos

why do women wear panties? the law says all man holes must be covered when not in use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men only enjoy blow jobs, for the peace and quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know if a single swinging woman is having an orgasm?

She stops texting for a moment...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard about the philidomide porn star ?

He had an arm like a babys cock !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scientist have found intelligent DNA in women. Unfortunately, 95% of the time they spit it out!

(Sent to me by a very brave man)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

Because they are plugged in to a genius.

Why can't men make pancakes?

Because they're useless tossers.

What do you call the useless flap of skin at the end of a penis?

A man.

.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Englishman, Welshman and Irishman find themselves at the Pearly Gates. St Peter tells them they can come in if they have something that represents Christmasm

The Englishman takes out his lighter, flicks it on and says "this represents a candle". St Peter nods, and allows him in.

The Welshman takes out his keys, jingles them and says "this represents bells". St Peter nods, and allows him in.

Finally the Irishman comes up to St Peter, drops his trousers and whips out his 10" cock. Horrified St Peter said "how does that represent Christmas?!!".

"Well" said the Irishman, "it's a cracker!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three men with speech impediments are in therapy. The therapist is blonde, petite and fit as fuck. She says "if you can tell me where I live without stuttering I'll suck your cock and you can cum in my mouth."

The first one stutters Bbbbbbirmingham, the next one Mmmmmmmanchester, the third one Paddy, stands up, composes himself and says "London."

The therapist gets his cock out and gives him the best blow job he's had in his life. As he cums he sighs..."dddddderry!"

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"whos got the funniest sexy joke on here anytakres we often get text loads of sexy jokes any one got any to sendxxxxxxmark and sheila"

a friend told me his wife through him out because she caught him measuring his cock it went just to the back of her sisters throat!

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"whos got the funniest sexy joke on here anytakres we often get text loads of sexy jokes any one got any to sendxxxxxxmark and sheila"

i was at a party last night and the DJ played "all sit down" by James. So we all sat down! He then played "Jump around" by House of Pain.So we all jumped around! Then he put on "come on Eileen" I got thrown out!

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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago

leeds

What can a jelly baby do that a man can't?

Come in five delicious flavours!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

How do you make your girlfriend scream while you're having sex? Call her and let her listen.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There is a priest who is summoned by the archbishop. He had to leave for several days. So he looked for a priest to fill in for him in the confession box. He called every priest he knew. None were available. He finally called a Rabbi.

The Rabbi said "I don't know, our religions are very different." The priest said "It's okay you line the sin up with the punishment on this chart." The rabbi gave in and decided to fill in. The next few days the rabbi listened to confessions and helped the people. The third day a man came in and said"Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: How have you sinned?" Person: I had anal sex." The rabbi was stumped for that sin was not on the chart. So the rabbi asked the man to wait. The rabbi asked everyone what the punishment was for anal sex. Finally the altar boy walked in. The rabbi asked what does the father give you for anal sex? The altar boy replied "Usually two cookies and a glass of milk."

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There is this girl with no arms and no legs sitting on the beach. A guy walked by and she started crying. The guy asked "why are you crying?" she said "I have never been kissed before"

The guy wanted to help her feel better, so he kisses her.... but she starts crying again.

The guy asked "why are you crying now?" she said "I have never been screwed before"

So the guy picked her up and threw her in the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why is portsmouth harbour like maddonna , both full of discharged semen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

white man goes t jail and is locked up with a black man. the blackman says when the lights go out we are going t play mammys n daddys so decide which one u want to be . the white man says im not going to be mammy cos he will fuck me lol so lights go out the black man says cmon then who are you. the white man says im daddy.so the black man says get down here and suck mammys cock ha ha

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