FabSwingers.com forum: name and shame

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In a response to the previous post. All those fake profiles should be named and shamed as its about time people start reporting them and letting others know of timewaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its annoying but as has been said a few times what if ......

What if i had a grudge against you for instance? say i didn't like your posts or your profile or you had knocked me back in an email and i wanted ta piss ya off?

I would then report you as a time waster or fake

See the problem??

Yes its very annoying and the time wasters and fakes are a sad fact of this lifestyle on here and on paid sites too

But a name and shame policy would open up a whole can of worms xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It'll never happen: and quite rightly so.

I've been swinging three years and not encountered, by my definition, a time waster.

For me not turning up for a meet is my only definition of a time waster.

Cancelling, not keeping up communication, unable to set a meet time is not a time waster.

People have lives outside of swinging and other things get in the way. People are allowed to change their mind and I tend to question the people that seem to encounter all these fakes and time wasters. How can they be so unlucky, what puts so many people off them?!! Is there an arrogance because people aren't chomping at the bit to play with them?

My play time is limited, I certainly don't waste time on energy on people who can't find time to meet for a coffee for me to check them out: plenty more waiting in the wings!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me too not turning up for a meet is my only definition of a time waster.

Cancelling, not keeping up communication, unable to set a meet time is not a time waster i work and have a life out side fab, it suprising how many man get nasty if i dont reply constantly, then give me the time waster spill but if they read my profile carefully it says just cos they wink talk ect doesnt mean they will get me into bed!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must admitt we have never come across time wasters on this site and all our meets have gone to plan. Does make you wonder why some people have this problem. We also only see people as time wasters who don't turn up for a meet without any explanation, but as yet not come across this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Name and shame is not allowed on this site. It never has been and I'd bet a large sum of money that it never will be.

Quite rightly so in our opinion ....

By the way OP, the next time you send us an abusive message like you did last night, it will be reported !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how do you know who is and who isnt a timewaster? If someone sends me a message that says "Wanna suck on my cock" and i delete their message, does that make me a timewaster? If i dont skivve off work to meet a guy who's up my way next week in a hotel and fancies some fun, does that make me a timewaster? Nope, it means i have the right to decide who i will and wont meet but you are saying maybe that i am?

If you type timewasters in the search space, you will find loads on them and this has already been asked before.

Personally ive yet to see a fake on here, plenty of timewasters but they for me are more the "fancy sitting on this?" type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And just for the record ............

NO the OP didn't send us an abusive message, but that goes to prove how name and shame could and most certainly would be abused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And just for the record ............

NO the OP didn't send us an abusive message, but that goes to prove how name and shame could and most certainly would be abused"

Glad i didnt comment then cos i was going to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And just for the record ............

NO the OP didn't send us an abusive message, but that goes to prove how name and shame could and most certainly would be abused

Glad i didnt comment then cos i was going to

I was gonna leave it open ended, but thought it would got taken down, so a bit of damage limitation, hope it proved a point though

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By *igersgobounce69Couple
over a year ago

Southend

I agree that we should not have a name and shame policy because it would be open to abuse. People can and do get rather bitchy and it is these people that would use a name and shame system to there advantage.

A timewaster is someone that arranges a meet and then does not bother to turn up and doesn't text or message to say why. Have we had this happen, yes, quite a few times. So the couple of people that have said that they have not come across "timewasters" are lucky. There are "timewasters" and fakes on this site, please don't look at this site through rose tinted glasses.

Even when we meet people, the conversation always goes, so what do you think of the site and everyone of the people that we have met, even if it has been socially, have said that they have come across fakes and timewasters.

It is inevitable that all free swinging sites will have these and as we have been in the scene for nearly 8 years we have seen lots of fakes and timewasters in that time.

But, having a name and shame policy will not work. I think it is just something that everyone has to put up with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a response to the previous post. All those fake profiles should be named and shamed as its about time people start reporting them and letting others know of timewaster."

Name and Shame option would be great, but as people have stated, it would be open to abuse.

What exactly do you consider a timewaster? also open to opinion.

you may be considered one, after 7 months here and only one webcam veri, no pics and the same from your veri.

Not suggesting you are a timewaster, just stating people may assume you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had to cancel a meet on Friday due to being put on call for work and i knew with the problems it was going to be busy and rightly so i started at 6 and didn't stop till 8 that night so i wasn't able to meet someone as planned, i did explain so am i a time waster as i had to do call out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is inevitable that all free swinging sites will have these and as we have been in the scene for nearly 8 years we have seen lots of fakes and timewasters in that time.

And so do the pay sites have timewasters and fakes - equally as many !

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

There is already a "name and shame" policy going on, its just not done on here.

We all talk to friends, and obviously if we have a bad experience, that gets top billing lol!

In our neck of the woods, any fakes, serial time-wasters or obnoxious tossers are identified pretty quickly, word spreads ans "hey presto" they vanish!

It doesnt stop them creating a new profile, which is why we favour profiles with pics, at least thats one thing they cant change, but even without pics their true nature will shine through fairly quickly, and sooner or later... poof, they are gone again.

Just talk to those in your area about possible fakes etc, and swap stories about the good, and bad times, and hopefully this will keep the numpties off here!

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

wanders in with coffee and jammy dodgers

sits on sofa

tin hat ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is inevitable that all free swinging sites will have these and as we have been in the scene for nearly 8 years we have seen lots of fakes and timewasters in that time.

And so do the pay sites have timewasters and fakes - equally as many !"

Pay sites have loads more time wasters..found that out..we just meet at a club 1st time if they / she dont turn up we still enjoy and relax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wanders in with coffee and jammy dodgers

sits on sofa

tin hat ready "

You'll fecking need it after last night you timewaster you.

Joking, before anyone thinks otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread has been done to the death and will no doubt do the rounds again next week....all the points above are still current and correct.

seems to me that the genuine swingers on this site that put in the time and effort have the greatest success.

those that use the site with the idea that they will get sex by the bucket (no pun intended) are the ones that encounter the greatest dissapointment.

besides, what some folk class as timewasters are usually people who find that life does often get in the way and, quite correctly, the swinging side of things is not their greatest priority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmm share the coffee x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's how people define time waster and their expectations that's the problem.

Over the three years I've been swinging I've lost count of the number of elderly parents that have suddenly taken ill, the number of children being arrested and had to be bailed out, the amount of emergency meetings that have led to meets being cancelled.

I certainly am not looking at this site through rose coloured spectacles - who on earth would?!! I just don't see it as time wasting.

I also don't take it as a personal slight and a waste of my time if someone changes their mind.

I think some people spend too much time on sites like this and assume everyone they come in contact with have to meet them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people spend too much time on sites like this and assume everyone they come in contact with have to meet them!"

You're right there Sassy. To some people, this site is their life, swinging is their life and it all gets taken far too seriously.

If it's taken as a bit of fun, a game, call it what you will, these timewasters who seem to be the subject of many a rant, will become nothing more than a slight annoyance

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ok im sorry i was a bit lose with definition of a timewaster. Someone who pretends to be someone else and arrange a meet or pretend they want to meet in the hope of collecting pictures or getting of by trying to talk dirty.

Yes you can normally pick them out quite quick.

Name and shame meaning reporting to the site which i now know you can do.

Thanks Paula

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I really really want to know what a time waster is,. In my opinion it would be someone who stood you up on a meet. I would love some one to explain the definition of a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really really want to know what a time waster is,. In my opinion it would be someone who stood you up on a meet. I would love some one to explain the definition of a timewaster"

In that case a timewaster is 'someone who stood you up on a meet' as that's your definition, other definitions may vary.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

so someone who messages for a while then stops contacting you as they loose interest

(well im 100% that) guilty of that

someone who wont meet you that night or even that week because they want to know you (well im 100% that)

So in some peoples eyes i guess im a 100% time waster.

If you mean people that just message you to collect pictures, or generally have no intention of meeting. How can they be timewasters there only wasting your time, all you have to do is not message them back its hardly rocket science to suss them out is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had worked in jobs where I had to participate "on-call" as part of a group on a rota basis, and would never dream of arranging a meet on my "on-call" evenings, in the event I was needed, and it would not be fair to have to cancel the meet as the other person could have put in a lot of efforts in order to meet me.

I would not feel at ease meeting on those nights anyway, knowing the phone could go off any minute. And no, I would not dream of switching my phone off on "on-call" nights!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's how people define time waster and their expectations that's the problem.

I certainly am not looking at this site through rose coloured spectacles - who on earth would?!! I just don't see it as time wasting.

I also don't take it as a personal slight and a waste of my time if someone changes their mind.

I think some people spend too much time on sites like this and assume everyone they come in contact with have to meet them!"

maybe we should do a thread on the best excuses someone has come up for changing their mind ??? im prey to it too ...its a fact of life ... some guys just cant go through with it for whatever reason ..as long as im told before hand i dont mind .

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Have to say ive never once had anyone change their mind. What i have had is people that have rang on occassion to say something has genuinely come up and can they rearranged and when it has happened they have rearranged and we have met. I also on occassions have had to pospone a meet for various reasons. Different people have different criteris for how and who they will meet. Different ways work for different people. My way works perfect for me as i said never had a no show or last minute back out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people spend too much time on sites like this and assume everyone they come in contact with have to meet them!

You're right there Sassy. To some people, this site is their life, swinging is their life and it all gets taken far too seriously.

If it's taken as a bit of fun, a game, call it what you will, these timewasters who seem to be the subject of many a rant, will become nothing more than a slight annoyance"

To me this is a fun past time not a way of life.

It did surprise me how frustrated some people became if they don't have a meet!

Oh well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really really want to know what a time waster is,. In my opinion it would be someone who stood you up on a meet. I would love some one to explain the definition of a timewaster"

thats what i view as a time waster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/10 12:40:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had worked in jobs where I had to participate "on-call" as part of a group on a rota basis, and would never dream of arranging a meet on my "on-call" evenings, in the event I was needed, and it would not be fair to have to cancel the meet as the other person could have put in a lot of efforts in order to meet me.

i had no choice of being on call hun

ive been on special leave due to be harassed in my role and been off since may and now they are putting me on call if they need extra help so i didn't know till the night before

but thank god the special leave is over and i can get back to work asap

I would not feel at ease meeting on those nights anyway, knowing the phone could go off any minute. And no, I would not dream of switching my phone off on "on-call" nights!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck!

On-call is no fun, and I was lucky to be in a large pool, and did not have to do more than 1 in 12 weekends!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck!

On-call is no fun, and I was lucky to be in a large pool, and did not have to do more than 1 in 12 weekends!

Its over now and have a week to relax before i go back to work

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By *igersgobounce69Couple
over a year ago

Southend

It is inevitable that all free swinging sites will have these and as we have been in the scene for nearly 8 years we have seen lots of fakes and timewasters in that time.

And so do the pay sites have timewasters and fakes - equally as many !"

Apologies, totally agree...All swinging sites have the fakes and timewasters.

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