FabSwingers.com forum: A question for bi guys who state that they are straight.

By *horacle OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich

Since my husband and I joined this site we have had alot of messages from guys who say to us that they are bi yet it states straight on their profile.

So I was just wondering why you dont state that your bi or atleast bicurious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quantity over quality!

They believe they stand more chance claiming to be straight as people "discriminate" as oppossed to having a preference who they play with.

Personally I find it daft and sad: you'll never appeal to all no matter what you look like, sexual orientation etc.

To quote the Bard: "above all things, to thine own self be true".

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By *uppetsCouple
over a year ago

cheltenham

thinking most of the time its a single str8 guy who wants to get with the fem of a cpl. might not be the case with all but if you say your bi and it says on your profile straight your out of luck with us.

its not that we haven't been with straight guys but it the deception that we don't like.if your not honest on your profile then what else are you be dishonest about.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love a straight guy, pretending to be bi, to meet us.

He wouldn't be straight by the time we'd finished with him.

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By *uppetsCouple
over a year ago

cheltenham

"Would love a straight guy, pretending to be bi, to meet us.

He wouldn't be straight by the time we'd finished with him.

lol, i hear that. if you want her you have to have me as well. if you don't like it, your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps they know the plight that single women endure and fear the hordes of pm's from single men and would rather chose than be chosen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup all valid reasons.

Bi guy doesn't want to admit he's bi for whatever reason, so states straight, then messages privately about what he really seeks.

Straight guy willing to play bi just to get close to the woman on the profile.

Bi guy sick of other guys messaging him

(or at least wants to avoid that) asking for a meet when he doesn't want to meet guys alone as he only enjoys bi play in certain situations, like with a couple and not as two guys.

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By *horacle OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich

Thanks for taking the time to reply to this.

Some have messaged me privately regarding this and have said that they have friends on here wo may judge them, one even said its because he doesnt want to be 'gay' (wtf).

My husband had a hard time admitting he may be bi and it took alot for him to state so on his profile.

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By *horacle OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich

.......... because of that we to have no time for people who state straight on their profile and claim to be bi when they message us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know at the moment our profiles hidden but most know in fully bi lol

However when i first joined most of the profiles seemed ta say straight

Its nice ta see that that has changed now and a lot of peeps are being truthful with themselves and others

Still a long way ta go thou xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

".......... because of that we to have no time for people who state straight on their profile and claim to be bi when they message us."

And that is your choice, the same as it is everyone elses choice to put whatever they want on their own profile (including sexuality) and if it works for them then good for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".......... because of that we to have no time for people who state straight on their profile and claim to be bi when they message us."

...sorry, that sounds totally judgemental. you admit your husband took his time admitting it and coming to terms with it, but don't accept that others might be in the same situation.

rather than judge, maybe be supportive as you can fully understand their dilema surely???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband had a hard time admitting he may be bi and it took alot for him to state so on his profile.

".......... because of that we to have no time for people who state straight on their profile and claim to be bi when they message us."

I would have thought that would have made you more understanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"one even said its because he doesnt want to be 'gay' (wtf).

My husband had a hard time admitting he may be bi and it took alot for him to state so on his profile."

Again, I would have thought you may be understanding.

It can be tough admitting you go against what society deems are right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Along the same sort of lines, we have had quite a few messages from guys who are bi or bi curious on their profiles and when we say no thanks we are only looking for straight guys they send a message back saying it was an error on their profile or they put it on there to attract more couples. we have nothing against bi guys at all its just not what we are personally looking for but some guys have become very stroppy about the whole thing and we do say in our profile that we are only seeking straight guys. From our point of view anyone could actually be bi and say so on their profile then when we reply saying no thanks looking for straight guys they could say they are straight when really they are not, just another thing to make finding the right people that little more difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems very judgmental of you.

Particularly when you note in the post before how hard it is for people to put their true orientation down.

Still it's your prerogative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we often get messages from guys saying they are bi but the profile says straight.

we never meet with them, if they lie about that what else are they lieing about???

we are honest and ask others to be the same, not to much to ask is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile."

I couldn't agree less.

What you describe is Choice, nothing less nothing more.

Nobody should feel they have to play with anybody regardless of sexuality, colour, creed, size, hairstyle and so on and so on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile.

I couldn't agree less.

What you describe is Choice, nothing less nothing more.

Nobody should feel they have to play with anybody regardless of sexuality, colour, creed, size, hairstyle and so on and so on."

though i dont doubt some bi guys are excluded for being bi as the male of a couple isn't and is a bit worried that the single man might launch for him.

the single bi male profiles i've read usually clearly state it is not important that they play with the husband/partner, but i doubt that all and every couple will heed this.

however, it is personal choice, as you say, so is the right of the individual to put bi or not if they so wish. i don't have any sexual preferences on my page, not that i dont have any, but would rather get to know a person before sharing them

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I my opinion people will always bend the truth to get what they want.

I state I am bi and I am.I want to meet couples and singles who are bi and lovely if the man is bi too.

People will say they are 35 when really they are late 40s but dont want to spoil thier chances maybe by saying they are actually older.

The lies continue about penis size and general height and body size.

I know I am 38 as that is what my date of birth says I am, my clothes labels are a size 16 mostly but some now are saying an 18(am probably a 17 now lol).

I know how tall I am as thats what the height measuremebts says. I can be honest with myself and am generally at peace with my body and sexuality but alot of people arent.

Some people prefer honesty some prefer to bend the truth to fit in with what they are looking for.

I perfer honesty and prefer those who who feel and do the same. It is everyones choice tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile.

I couldn't agree less.

What you describe is Choice, nothing less nothing more.

Nobody should feel they have to play with anybody regardless of sexuality, colour, creed, size, hairstyle and so on and so on.

though i dont doubt some bi guys are excluded for being bi as the male of a couple isn't and is a bit worried that the single man might launch for him."

For certain, but also some bi guys are excluded by the female of the couple, let's not forget that.

It's very simple IMO, if a thought turns you on then go for it, if a thought turns you off then don't, not for others, do what you please for yourself, of course if you have a partner then compromise, but don't do anything you don't want to do.

A big part of sex is in the head, if the thought of inviting a bi guy (or whatever, but as this is this threads topic) into your bed excites you then go for it, if it does the opposite then don't.

Doesn't matter why or what for, Nobody should feel they have to play with anybody because bigots will point their finger and shout bigot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last post wasn't aimed entirely at you dances_alone, I just advanced on what I quoted and waffled on.

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By *horacle OP Couple
over a year ago

Harwich

".......... because of that we to have no time for people who state straight on their profile and claim to be bi when they message us.

...sorry, that sounds totally judgemental. you admit your husband took his time admitting it and coming to terms with it, but don't accept that others might be in the same situation.

rather than judge, maybe be supportive as you can fully understand their dilema surely???

If they were stuggling with their sexuality then of course i would be supportive. However the bi/straight guys that i have spoken to on here do it because they think it will put single women off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yup all valid reasons.

Bi guy doesn't want to admit he's bi for whatever reason, so states straight, then messages privately about what he really seeks.

Straight guy willing to play bi just to get close to the woman on the profile.

Bi guy sick of other guys messaging him

(or at least wants to avoid that) asking for a meet when he doesn't want to meet guys alone as he only enjoys bi play in certain situations, like with a couple and not as two guys.

the bottom reason is mine reason exactly. I dont put my profile as bi but i mention i am hetro flexible on my profile. doing this just stop's alot of men messaging me

however i still get messaged by them

same can be said though about women or couples who put they dont meet single men however if we decide to we will find you if we want you etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just put this at the end of my profile as I was getting too many messages from guys.

Makes it quite obvious then.. 8)

*** Even though I do not mind oral with men if there is a woman present I will not met men on their own, sorry but this does nothing for me. ***

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile."

dunno why that is, I guess those guys in couple who are actually straight must think they're gunna get their todger man handled (never the case believe me), for the record, I'm bi, I've played with straight couples before and respect all boundaries, there's no cat in hells chance i'd just jump on another guy, thats not the way I play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similar for me.

My profile says I'm straight. I've had a couple of bi-meets (not from here) which I've enjoyed.

Thing is I don't consider myself 'bi'. I am predominantly attracted to women but can be attracted to men in the right circumstances.

If I meet a couple though I'm not going to jump on the man. Unless he asks me nicely.

I'm going to update my profile on here anyway now I've said this in public. I want to be open about what I am.

It probably won't harm my chances of meets since I haven't had much fortune so far anyway.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think if you have had a couple of bi meets and enjoyed it then it would be better to have on your profile bi curious maybe.

For those who maybe have in the same way had a couple of bi experiences and not enjoyed it therefore not going to try it again I would say straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a bi guy and proud of it yes i maybe greedy to like both sexes but im one the few guys who is honest on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a bi guy and proud of it yes i maybe greedy to like both sexes but im one the few guys who is honest on here

Its not greedy though is it really? I mean, greedy is eating 19 mars bars because you can, not because you need to.

Being attracted to both sexes is more... bloody good luck in genetic makeup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile.

It's funny how many straight men believe that bi (and gay) men automatically want them and nothing else. I find it weird. I'm bi, but if we had a threesome with a straight male there isn't a single thing that he could see, or tell, or in my actions that would make him wonder about my sexuality (if he didn't know already). And I keep it that way because that is, well, respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we get tons of messages from 'straight' guys claiming to be bi to which they just get a message back saying if they cant be honest on their profile they've got no chance. i prefer to see an honest profile than one which 'bends' the truth just to get a better chance of getting a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"double standards if it states the girls bi yippee but if guy bi then the guys run a mile.

I don't find that weird at all, I think it's simply a lack of understanding of the unknown, perfectly natural to get it all wrong with no understanding.

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