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Let's write a bizzare funny sex story

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Don't know if this going to work but I'll try . Let's see if we can write a story openly on this thread it has to be as bizzare and funny and damn sexy as we can make it ..I'll start it of xx when I led into the room all I could smell was sweat and sex . My mistress took of my blindfold and all around me was ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...A rugby scrum.

My mistress had led me into a field in the middle of a match. I loved that bitch, always thinking up creative ways to humiliate me. She forced me to take a cock out of one pair of the pants that surrounded me and...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Deep throat it whilst the ref tried to fuck the prop ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... Realised they had mistakenly wandered into Uncle Herbert's allotment ..he was showing Ethel his giant cucumber while she tended her bush and....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fantasy is called: Martha, the mature biology teacher, the forbidden fruit (she is 53 and I am 20 and a lodger in her house and still a virgin).

As Martha finished her long day in school as a teacher, teaching biology, she came home around 4pm that day totally shattered and put on some coffee and toasted 2 breads with jam on.. in the mean time I was upstair and relaxing on the bed.

I heard her footsteps coming up the stairs and heard the handle turn, she walked very quitley to me and sat down on the side of the bed and runned her fingers thru my hair.

She whispered very sensually to me in my ears "its time".....

She very slowly started to go down with her hands from my chest and grabbed my hairy virgin penis and started to kiss me and then removed my blanket..

I felt very nervous and told her "I don't know what to do", she replied with "I will show you everything you need to know".

Then she started to sensually give me a nice and slow blow job, she directed me and said that when you get hard Jonas I will sit on top of your cock and as my cock went hard she slipped it in her very nice hairy pussie, after a while she told me its time to change position, she said I should be ontop.

I was really sweating as I pounded her and she moaned of pleasure, then the unthinkable happened, I cummed in her pussie, she was abit surpiced but was giggling and said, look what you have done, you have made my pussie all wet of your juices, she said I have been a very naughty boy and told me to turn over to lay on the bed so she could spank me, after a while she said "have you learned your lesson?" I said yes I have Martha.

She then told me to lay on her lap and to suckle her nice firm big breasts to comfort me and gently she kissed me and told me, how did it feel to have sex the first time (in a very sensual low voice). I said I loved it .

Then she quietly pulled the blanket over me and took her coffe and bread to her room opposite mine, it was a lovely sunday evening and sun shinning

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"... Realised they had mistakenly wandered into Uncle Herbert's allotment ..he was showing Ethel his giant cucumber while she tended her bush and...."
...Nellie the elephant sneaked in wearing nipple clamps ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... Realised they had mistakenly wandered into Uncle Herbert's allotment ..he was showing Ethel his giant cucumber while she tended her bush and.......Nellie the elephant sneaked in wearing nipple clamps ..."

"Oh! It's so hot in here!" Nellie cried, dropping one of her nipple clamps in the process "Do you mind if...."

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"... Realised they had mistakenly wandered into Uncle Herbert's allotment ..he was showing Ethel his giant cucumber while she tended her bush and.......Nellie the elephant sneaked in wearing nipple clamps ...

"Oh! It's so hot in here!" Nellie cried, dropping one of her nipple clamps in the process "Do you mind if....""
uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ..."

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand..."
...and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand......and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ...."

...spanking paddle fashioned out of recently scrapped Porsche number plate.

Smack!...Smack!...Smack! Cracked the sound of the paddle...leaving the car registration H982 FKL smartly indented on his hairy arse.

"Did you reali-i-i-de I was Argentinian? She cried in a slightly out-of-sync dubbed Spanish accent....

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand......and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ....

...spanking paddle fashioned out of recently scrapped Porsche number plate.

Smack!...Smack!...Smack! Cracked the sound of the paddle...leaving the car registration H982 FKL smartly indented on his hairy arse.

"Did you reali-i-i-de I was Argentinian? She cried in a slightly out-of-sync dubbed Spanish accent...."
... But clarkson new what to do as he bukkaked Ethel and Nellie he got on his knees and ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand......and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ....

...spanking paddle fashioned out of recently scrapped Porsche number plate.

Smack!...Smack!...Smack! Cracked the sound of the paddle...leaving the car registration H982 FKL smartly indented on his hairy arse.

"Did you reali-i-i-de I was Argentinian? She cried in a slightly out-of-sync dubbed Spanish accent....... But clarkson new what to do as he bukkaked Ethel and Nellie he got on his knees and ..."

... Presented his arse to the local traffic cops...who promptly zapped it with a radar gun and slapped it with his first speeding ticket in 40 years...but it wasn't a real copper... It was Lucy.. A busty stripper who....

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand......and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ....

...spanking paddle fashioned out of recently scrapped Porsche number plate.

Smack!...Smack!...Smack! Cracked the sound of the paddle...leaving the car registration H982 FKL smartly indented on his hairy arse.

"Did you reali-i-i-de I was Argentinian? She cried in a slightly out-of-sync dubbed Spanish accent....... But clarkson new what to do as he bukkaked Ethel and Nellie he got on his knees and ...

... Presented his arse to the local traffic cops...who promptly zapped it with a radar gun and slapped it with his first speeding ticket in 40 years...but it wasn't a real copper... It was Lucy.. A busty stripper who...."
..had a fetish for peppa the pig she loved the smell of raw bacon when giving head to ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... s "Do you mind if...."uncle Herbert cools me down with the hosepipe whilst my mates zig and zag spit roast Ethel in the ...

Parlour?"

We haven't got a parlour, but if you've found one then go ahead and knock yourselves out. I said as I followed them down the street, big cucumber in my hand......and a gimp in my other hand . We all headed for the parlour where Ethel was getting extremely wet with the thought of spanking Jeremy clarkson with a ....

...spanking paddle fashioned out of recently scrapped Porsche number plate.

Smack!...Smack!...Smack! Cracked the sound of the paddle...leaving the car registration H982 FKL smartly indented on his hairy arse.

"Did you reali-i-i-de I was Argentinian? She cried in a slightly out-of-sync dubbed Spanish accent....... But clarkson new what to do as he bukkaked Ethel and Nellie he got on his knees and ...

... Presented his arse to the local traffic cops...who promptly zapped it with a radar gun and slapped it with his first speeding ticket in 40 years...but it wasn't a real copper... It was Lucy.. A busty stripper who......had a fetish for peppa the pig she loved the smell of raw bacon when giving head to ..."

...Gordon the multi-cocked Giraffe from Chester Zoo... Her work was definately cut out for her tonight.."one down... Five to go" she mumbled with a mouthful of Giraffe....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone turned on the lights...

It wasn't a giraffe, was only bloody Jeremy clarkson and a camera crew...

Grabbing clarkson by the hair, she dragged him to the toilet and locked him in there. His screams and begging for a sucking were unsexy, so she ignored them and headed out of the building, where she found...

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Boris johnson dressed in a maids outfit she quickly grabbed a congestion charging signpost and skillfully inserted it into his bung hole in one swift movement whilst shouting ...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Boris johnson dressed in a maids outfit she quickly grabbed a congestion charging signpost and skillfully inserted it into his bung hole in one swift movement whilst shouting ..."
...harder harder Ethel u little slut ruin me like u destroyed ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Boris johnson dressed in a maids outfit she quickly grabbed a congestion charging signpost and skillfully inserted it into his bung hole in one swift movement whilst shouting ......harder harder Ethel u little slut ruin me like u destroyed ..."

...Uncle Herbert by ramming that prize-winning butternut squash right up his arse... It took 5 medics half hour to remove it you silly cow... 5 minutes to extract after 25 minutes laughing...

And with that she snapped a rubber glove over her fingers and grabbed hold of......

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys


"Boris johnson dressed in a maids outfit she quickly grabbed a congestion charging signpost and skillfully inserted it into his bung hole in one swift movement whilst shouting ......harder harder Ethel u little slut ruin me like u destroyed ...

...Uncle Herbert by ramming that prize-winning butternut squash right up his arse... It took 5 medics half hour to remove it you silly cow... 5 minutes to extract after 25 minutes laughing...

And with that she snapped a rubber glove over her fingers and grabbed hold of......"

The dust pan and brush. She paused and grabbed her tape measure..

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Boris johnson dressed in a maids outfit she quickly grabbed a congestion charging signpost and skillfully inserted it into his bung hole in one swift movement whilst shouting ......harder harder Ethel u little slut ruin me like u destroyed ...

...Uncle Herbert by ramming that prize-winning butternut squash right up his arse... It took 5 medics half hour to remove it you silly cow... 5 minutes to extract after 25 minutes laughing...

And with that she snapped a rubber glove over her fingers and grabbed hold of......

The dust pan and brush. She paused and grabbed her tape measure.."
...and measured the length of her strap on before fucking the life out of ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The dust pan and brush. She paused and grabbed her tape measure.....and measured the length of her strap on before fucking the life out of ..."

Jeremy clarksons face.

The stupid twat had somehow escaped from the toilet, it was covered in shit for some reason...

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Tina went to a meet, but upon getting inside was repeatedly brained by a maniac wielding a big tub of bran flakes. It turns out she'd met a cereal killer.

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

Cheerio she said sharpish!

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Cheerio she said sharpish!"
coco pops screamed the man with his safe word . No more suck the ...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone "

Everyone kept it up for _moke it, but he only had eyes for Tina...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone

Everyone kept it up for _moke it, but he only had eyes for Tina..."
love Tina but can we get back to story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone

Everyone kept it up for _moke it, but he only had eyes for Tina...love Tina but can we get back to story "

Well that is the story, was hoping you'd end up taking her out clubbing or for a meal... Could have ordered giraffe a la croutons or something...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone

Everyone kept it up for _moke it, but he only had eyes for Tina...love Tina but can we get back to story

Well that is the story, was hoping you'd end up taking her out clubbing or for a meal... Could have ordered giraffe a la croutons or something..."
Tina is a legend to scared even to message her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tina titz the legend is here I'm so happy keep it up everyone

Everyone kept it up for _moke it, but he only had eyes for Tina...love Tina but can we get back to story

Well that is the story, was hoping you'd end up taking her out clubbing or for a meal... Could have ordered giraffe a la croutons or something...Tina is a legend to scared even to message her "

It's just a story. I didn't mean you had to turn this into real life lol. Plus all this in real life would be kind of scary if I'm honest...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway....missed your chance now.

Somehow Jeremy clarkson found his way over to Where Tina laid. He gently lifted her lifeless body and carried her to his car, intending to take her to hospital so she could have her brains implanted back into her head. They drove fast, almost knocking virus down in the rush...

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By *moke it OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Cheerio she said sharpish!coco pops screamed the man with his safe word . No more suck the ... "
... Cum out of Tina titz until she winks _moke it xx then we can get back to the story of Ethel with the tv remote ...

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