FabSwingers.com forum: Playing at a social ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last month at the first Shenanagins Gloucester social we attended and ended up playing in the gents with a few very willing guys .

This caused one or two people to be a bit miffed that we had the audacity to dare to do such a thing at a social , which incidentally was held at a local pub in a private bar .

So our question is , since there will be a second social this coming Thursday night , should the opportunity arise , would we be wise to play again and say sod the haters , or be good and cater to the judgemental by keeping our hands to ourselves ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Sounds like it was out of site and with willing participants so, so what? Make the next one bleedin' obvious "a social unless we shag someone" should make everyone know whats what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on where the social is. Maybe not in a pub. If it's hired out specifically for the social that might be different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends on where the social is. Maybe not in a pub. If it's hired out specifically for the social that might be different. "

Yes , it is a specifically separate function area . Infact the main pub is on a different level , and the pub hired out for the social is downstairs , so there are only people there who are attending the social .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where is this ill be waiting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People get pissed frolics happen. Fuck'em (the haters) (well, the not haters also as that's the point).........

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm in two minds about this. On one hand I think that people should do what they like it's nobody elses business.

On the other I think that a social is a social and you're saying the other people are wrong for wanting it to remain so.

I don't see any harm in getting a room or going off elsewhere, people who attend the social we go to do that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm in two minds about this. On one hand I think that people should do what they like it's nobody elses business.

On the other I think that a social is a social and you're saying the other people are wrong for wanting it to remain so.

I don't see any harm in getting a room or going off elsewhere, people who attend the social we go to do that."

Good point , and one we agree with to a degree , we certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking it would be a sex fest which may offend .

One of the most enjoyable parts of being in the lifestyle for us is the spontaneity and randomness which gives us a buzz . That's how it transpired , and to have gone off to get a hotel room would have negated this , so it wouldn't have worked !

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By *ndym12Man
over a year ago

Ivybridge

I've been to a couple of socials where nothing is guaranteed. If it does all well and good if not then it's what it says it is, a social.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'm in two minds about this. On one hand I think that people should do what they like it's nobody elses business.

On the other I think that a social is a social and you're saying the other people are wrong for wanting it to remain so.

I don't see any harm in getting a room or going off elsewhere, people who attend the social we go to do that.

Good point , and one we agree with to a degree , we certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking it would be a sex fest which may offend .

Hmmmm. Were you playing in full view of other people?

As a discussion point only, I'm not being combative, why is your need fir spontaneity more important than the wishes if others? Is it because it's a swingers social and you feel that it should be accepted.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've been to a couple of socials where nothing is guaranteed. If it does all well and good if not then it's what it says it is, a social."

The social we go to is very obviously just a social. It's in a pub with regular patrons although we do have our own corner.

I know that quite a few go on to a private party though and there's nothing to stop

people from going elsewhere so in that sense it's more than s social if you want it to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm in two minds about this. On one hand I think that people should do what they like it's nobody elses business.

On the other I think that a social is a social and you're saying the other people are wrong for wanting it to remain so.

I don't see any harm in getting a room or going off elsewhere, people who attend the social we go to do that.

Good point , and one we agree with to a degree , we certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking it would be a sex fest which may offend .

Hmmmm. Were you playing in full view of other people?

No it wasn't in full view of others , and our need ( more desire than need ) isn't more important than the wishes of others . The participants were more than happy , and the vast majority who knew about it but didn't see were fully supportive .

It was just a small minority who objected , and since we don't really want to upset anyone we thought we would see what others thought

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Probably best to check the basic rules with the organiser beforehand. Most pub socials I go to are social only, and I would be most miffed if people started banging next to me while I was trying to get to know other people. Most club socials I go to, play is expected and I dive right on in.

Just be careful though - you were in a pub and, although you think you were discreet and private, that's someones licence at risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I am not a prude otherwise i wouldnt be here but i hate going to the loo and finding people playing there and its one of the reasons i stopped going to socials except ones held at a club. I just wanted a wee in peace and not have people trying to get into my cubicle and climbing over the door or going under it etc cus they seemed to think everyone was fair game to play with !!!!

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably best to check the basic rules with the organiser beforehand. Most pub socials I go to are social only, and I would be most miffed if people started banging next to me while I was trying to get to know other people. Most club socials I go to, play is expected and I dive right on in.

Just be careful though - you were in a pub and, although you think you were discreet and private, that's someones licence at risk. "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As in all things swinging respect goes a long way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'm in two minds about this. On one hand I think that people should do what they like it's nobody elses business.

On the other I think that a social is a social and you're saying the other people are wrong for wanting it to remain so.

I don't see any harm in getting a room or going off elsewhere, people who attend the social we go to do that.

Good point , and one we agree with to a degree , we certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking it would be a sex fest which may offend .

Hmmmm. Were you playing in full view of other people?

It was just a small minority who objected , and since we don't really want to upset anyone we thought we would see what others thought

If no one who didn't want to saw you and anyone who wanted a pee could do so without being an unwilling witness I don't see a problem.

As long as sexual behavior is legal and consensual it's fine by me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

Never attended a social, but I'd agree with this. The toilets are still going to be used by non players. Were any of the willing participants halves of a couple? I couldn't see that going down very well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting points , and taken on board .

We do enjoy the thrill of enjoying ' risky ' play to be honest , and know this isn't to everyone's taste .

However , in vanilla pubs and clubs up and down the country , thus kind if thing goes on every weekend !

A recent survey published in a national newspaper last week proved how many people enjoy it , with pubs , clubs , parks etc.... Being the favourite places for fun .

Of course everyone won't agree , and if they did it wouldn't be ' risky ' , thereby the fun factor would be lessened !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

Why would it be different if it was halves of a couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what feels right at the time I say

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Interesting points , and taken on board .

We do enjoy the thrill of enjoying ' risky ' play to be honest , and know this isn't to everyone's taste .

However , in vanilla pubs and clubs up and down the country , thus kind if thing goes on every weekend !

A recent survey published in a national newspaper last week proved how many people enjoy it , with pubs , clubs , parks etc.... Being the favourite places for fun .

Of course everyone won't agree , and if they did it wouldn't be ' risky ' , thereby the fun factor would be lessened !

Fair point about non-swinging events also having toilet fun as a feature. However I tend to think about other patrons of the venue when out and about and think that bathroom sex would make a considerable amount of people uncomfortable.

I know that 'risky' sex is supposed to be exciting, but (call me fussy) sex in a pub toilet is the absolute last place I would get horny. It might be the real ale pubs I visit but the toilets are not the cleanest ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to a happy swinging lifestyle for everyone is to be considerate to everyone and not follow your own fuck the rest as long as were ok attitude.

Like others have stated if playing was so important why not hire a hotel room and play in private to your hearts content.

A social is a social and remember the landlord may be well pissed off at what you done on his premises and may not allow the organiser to book future events so yes i think it is very selfish unless of course it was all agreed beforehand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

Why would it be different if it was halves of a couple?"

Maybe people were pissed off if their males halves were going to the loo and having more than a piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

Why would it be different if it was halves of a couple?

Maybe people were pissed off if their males halves were going to the loo and having more than a piss

I see what you mean. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The way to a happy swinging lifestyle for everyone is to be considerate to everyone and not follow your own fuck the rest as long as were ok attitude.

Like others have stated if playing was so important why not hire a hotel room and play in private to your hearts content.

Well since it was agreed beforehand and we regularly frequent the place , perhaps we aren't as selfish as you think we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish when i went for a piss at my local there was a hottie waiting to help release my juice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way to a happy swinging lifestyle for everyone is to be considerate to everyone and not follow your own fuck the rest as long as were ok attitude.

Like others have stated if playing was so important why not hire a hotel room and play in private to your hearts content.

Well since it was agreed beforehand and we regularly frequent the place , perhaps we aren't as selfish as you think we are

In which case.... fill yer boots!

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Personally i think that at a social is should be just be that ... social and no playing at the actual social event, however what happens after in hotels, cars etc is up to the individuals.

Other sites have "rules" about socials being non playing events unless they take place at a club, i dont know if this site has such "rules".

I happily play at clubs in front of others but apart from some snogging and a bit of touchy feely and flirting i think ordinary socials should be non playing. I am sure most will disagree with me

We actually agree with you. The point of a social is to meet and get to know people, any play should be left for later on in a hotel room, etc. If you need the loo you don't want to have to fight your way through a shag fest.

The same applies to clubs. In the lounge area flirting, kissing & touching is very erotic and sexy, but shagging should be left for the play rooms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way to a happy swinging lifestyle for everyone is to be considerate to everyone and not follow your own fuck the rest as long as were ok attitude.

Like others have stated if playing was so important why not hire a hotel room and play in private to your hearts content.

Well since it was agreed beforehand and we regularly frequent the place , perhaps we aren't as selfish as you think we are

appears what your saying is a little contradictory. If the social has taken place several times previously and play is allowed then why were people surrprised at your anticts in the toilets.

Surely its common place. Or are you now tailoring your answers to fend of criticism. Why ask the question about playing at a social if its a comon occurance at yours. Just sounds a bit odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing in either the gents or the ladies alienates one sex or the other, whom I would imagine would be quite miffed. Also I thought socials were intended to be non play gatherings, so people, perhaps newbies to the scene could figure out what kind of people there were.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The way to a happy swinging lifestyle for everyone is to be considerate to everyone and not follow your own fuck the rest as long as were ok attitude.

Like others have stated if playing was so important why not hire a hotel room and play in private to your hearts content.

Well since it was agreed beforehand and we regularly frequent the place , perhaps we aren't as selfish as you think we are

appears what your saying is a little contradictory. If the social has taken place several times previously and play is allowed then why were people surrprised at your anticts in the toilets.

Surely its common place. Or are you now tailoring your answers to fend of criticism. Why ask the question about playing at a social if its a comon occurance at yours. Just sounds a bit odd."

There has been only one social so far at this venue . The organisers know us well , and we certainly didn't do what we did against the organisers wishes . Therefore we certainly are not tailoring our answers to fend off criticism .

If you had read the op , you would have known it's hardly a common occurrence at a social which has had just the one !

If the consensus is that we were wrong or offensive we would reconsider , but to be honest there are always going to be those who take the moral high ground , particularly on the forums , and those views are not necessarily those we woukd consider .

There have even been comments on this thread suggesting the right way to swing .

I think we know how it works for us , and the way we play . That may not sit well with some , and that's fine - we may not think the way it works for some others is right , but we aren't judging them are we ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've always avoided socials as it just sounds far to odd to be honest. Reading this thread has confirmed the theory.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"We've always avoided socials as it just sounds far to odd to be honest. Reading this thread has confirmed the theory."

The last York social was awesome. Really good fun and no toilet shagging in site. The Sheffield ones are good too. I think its a case of choosing wisely though, which is a shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

social is social.. there is bar staff if you Play the anonymity aspect could be ruined.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We've always avoided socials as it just sounds far to odd to be honest. Reading this thread has confirmed the theory."

What do you think is odd about them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's an event in London called LAM (it's a social and market) that had to do some serious grovelling to the bar owners after 2 people decided shagging in the toilets was perfectly acceptable. And an event enjoyed by several hundred people every month for several years was almost lost thanks to the selfishness of 2 people. And I am lead to believe that the couple in question have been barred from several events as a consequence

As for the OP, I think a social is a social. It's not difficult the clue is very much in the name. Shagging in the toilets at what is fundamentally a vanilla event is pretty poor form in my opinion.

There is also the bigger issue, in that it blurs the lines and distorts peoples expectations of what may happen and what behaviour is acceptable at a social.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if the social is being held in a non-play enviroment, then there really shouldn't be any play happening (that includes the loo's or any dark corners....

if the social is being held in a club... then i am sure they will have rooms designed to play

I am not a fan of club meets being called "socials" because i think that blurs lines and i would rather people had a definitive understanding of what to expect...... but that is another topic in itself.......

to be honest... if that behaviour had happened at one of the non-play socials I had organised in the past... you and all the people you were playing with would have been asked to leave.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is also the bigger issue, in that it blurs the lines and distorts peoples expectations of what may happen and what behaviour is acceptable at a social."

although mainly from my point of view I don't really care what people do, I've been doing this 12 years now if I went to a social and went to the loo and saw a group of people shagging in their I wouldn't even look, seen it all before, I'd have my pee and leave

however a lot of new comers use socials as a way of getting used to things in a relaxed no pressure environment and may not want to walk into that when going for a pee, some could find it a little off putting

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Every social I've been to it was specifically a no play social

Tbh id not even consider playing in some grotty toilets

Yuk

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Every social I've been to it was specifically a no play social

Tbh id not even consider playing in some grotty toilets

Yuk

I know! Germs!!

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

I agree there. Pub toilets are bad enough to pee in let alone anything else!

I wouldn't be against playing as part of a social if there was a connection but if there wasn't any facilities at the meet venue then let's face it these days there's a travelodge or prem inn close by to decant to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please it is a social for the like minded, not play party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just dont understand why you need to cross oundaries. And cause confusion.

There are plenty of clubs where you can fuck in as many different surroundings as you want including toilets if thats what floats your boat( maybe more floaters than you care to see in a toilet)

if its a social event why attend if you seek more. Just go to a club. Its not that difficult surely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why socials don't appeal to us, being in a room full of swingers but not swinging??? Why??? We got plenty of vanilla friends for when we want a beer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials should be socials, what would happen if the owners found out and stopped the socials from being there, and how many is a few!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why socials don't appeal to us, being in a room full of swingers but not swinging??? Why??? We got plenty of vanilla friends for when we want a beer"

i just find them a safe environment to meet people, if I'm looking to play I lean towards meeting a guy I have already seen in the flesh, had a chat with and know I like than meeting a total stranger

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"This is why socials don't appeal to us, being in a room full of swingers but not swinging??? Why??? We got plenty of vanilla friends for when we want a beer"

the way i get to look at it, is kinda like you get to "try before you buy" in the fact you get to see what people are like before deciding whether to take it further......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why socials don't appeal to us, being in a room full of swingers but not swinging??? Why??? We got plenty of vanilla friends for when we want a beer

the way i get to look at it, is kinda like you get to "try before you buy" in the fact you get to see what people are like before deciding whether to take it further...... "

We have several playmates that we first met on the fet scene and munches.

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By *lackbirdtimestwoWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

It seems to me that you played away from the main social gathering place,, so what's the problem,,

I'd say if you fancy playing then as long as it's out if the main area then go for it,

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It sounds like great fun, but I'd worry for the landlord's sake, as if it came out it could cause problems for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why socials don't appeal to us, being in a room full of swingers but not swinging??? Why??? We got plenty of vanilla friends for when we want a beer

the way i get to look at it, is kinda like you get to "try before you buy" in the fact you get to see what people are like before deciding whether to take it further...... "

Lol you saying if we are minging you'd sereptituously take us of your friends list!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good points madeby everyone thanks .

Could we clarify that we had no intention of upsetting anyone , and it was a spontaneous action which neither hurt ot put any risk on anyones licence .

The haters will hate and the others will smile ....

The organisers should not be chastised for any action we have taken , we are perfectly capable of defending our actions ourselves .

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I think it all comes down to what the landlord and the person organising would say if they knew.

If the organiser has said "no play" and they would get in trouble with the landlord if they found out, then it's a bit disrespectful. I'm sure a lot of effort goes into organising these events and perhaps a lot of reassurance about what will and won't go on in some cases.

I guess it seems draconian to say no play, but the fear is, if a blind eye is turned to it, then others will take it as a green light and it could descend into a free for all. Fine if the owner has no issues with that, but I suspect that's rare.

Not being judgemental on you - it's understandable that those opportunities arise and the desire to act must be powerful

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By *ethepeopleMan
over a year ago

Near you

[Removed by poster at 30/10/14 13:20:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been to vanilla pub socials the thought wouldn't cross my mind, I tend to have a hotel so bit of nookie before social keeps me from pouncing on any men, I like a social to be a social, if went to the loo I wouldnt join in, I just think there is a time and a place.ive never had public loo sex it dosent appeal to me, im not that innocent that I havent done some risky sex just not a loo except my own

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"There's an event in London called LAM (it's a social and market) that had to do some serious grovelling to the bar owners after 2 people decided shagging in the toilets was perfectly acceptable. And an event enjoyed by several hundred people every month for several years was almost lost thanks to the selfishness of 2 people. And I am lead to believe that the couple in question have been barred from several events as a consequence

As for the OP, I think a social is a social. It's not difficult the clue is very much in the name. Shagging in the toilets at what is fundamentally a vanilla event is pretty poor form in my opinion.

There is also the bigger issue, in that it blurs the lines and distorts peoples expectations of what may happen and what behaviour is acceptable at a social."

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