FabSwingers.com forum: How do you approach prospective non-swinging people?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm aware the subject of this topic is a little ambiguous-sounding, so I'll explain!

As a couple, how do you approach someone/solicit a meet from somebody you may have met or know - but think they are not swingers? (Or they do not know that you yourself are!)

I have used 'couples' as the focal point seeing as if a single person did this, I'm not certain it'd look any different from a casual hookup. However, if it's a single person asking a couple - then by all means reply!

Just curious. Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wave some pampas grass at them and see their reaction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you? This is a swingers site. Potentially full of swingers. If you want to go and ask some random fella if you can shag his missus go ahead.Please come back and tell us how it went (after the trip to A&E of course).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wave some pampas grass at them and see their reaction

I hadn't a clue as to what you were on about so searched the term & saw a Telegraph article. Hilarious! I never knew about that identifier

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did not specifically mean a 'random' person. This could be someone you've know for a while. No real boundaries on what I mean, though.

The internet isn't the only place to find people, though. Swinging is a a pretty social (ideally, friendly) past-time and I don't believe it should be purely closeted to the web. Sure, no way would you go about asking randomers totally inappropriately - just on the odd occasion that it feels right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it's not confined to just the web. Socials happen all the time. Bloody hell ive been to enough of them! Maybe make your post a bit more specific in what sort of scenario you are thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your Misses has a nice Arse, Can i bang Her

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No need to come off with a rude tone.

Like I've said... somebody/some people you would like to play with, but you are not aware they're into swinging.

I've left it slightly ambiguous as you could meet these people in any walk of life. Through work, at a bar or pub... Really, however somebody has done it themselves. Not my job to refine the scope!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her"

The 'menage a trois' pub in Brighton is a good place to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did not specifically mean a 'random' person. This could be someone you've know for a while. No real boundaries on what I mean, though.

Erm...doesn't work in our experience lol. Although we haven't fully went for it as it gets to the point where we think, ok what next? How do we go about this?

Would be nice if it wasn't confined to here though...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her"

That's a given! (Well, for most.)

I'm aware it can be an iffy area sometimes, however.

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By *aster of a mindCouple
over a year ago

York

"Why would you? This is a swingers site. Potentially full of swingers. If you want to go and ask some random fella if you can shag his missus go ahead.Please come back and tell us how it went (after the trip to A&E of course)."

LMFAO.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her

That's a given! (Well, for most.)

I'm aware it can be an iffy area sometimes, however."
Not with men

Her

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

gingerly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldn't approach anyone in the vanilla world, why would you?

We just stick to meeting people off here and in clubs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's only something we would do if there were very clear signs of interest from the other people and they would have to be unambiguous or we would leave well alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No need to come off with a rude tone.

Like I've said... somebody/some people you would like to play with, but you are not aware they're into swinging.

I've left it slightly ambiguous as you could meet these people in any walk of life. Through work, at a bar or pub... Really, however somebody has done it themselves. Not my job to refine the scope!"

I take it that was meant for me, Define rude tone.

You asked and i gave you an Honest answer...And yes if you ask an Ambiguous question then it is your job to refine the Scope, If not you then who else can.

Mr Gimp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for all the clear-cut responses! I was not planning to do this myself (far too reserved) - but interesting to see it all has a very delicate approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I take it that was meant for me, Define rude tone.

You asked and i gave you an Honest answer...And yes if you ask an Ambiguous question then it is your job to refine the Scope, If not you then who else can.

Mr Gimp

No, it wasn't for you at all. I was directing that message at 'chellesterfem'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take it that was meant for me, Define rude tone.

You asked and i gave you an Honest answer...And yes if you ask an Ambiguous question then it is your job to refine the Scope, If not you then who else can.

Mr Gimp

No, it wasn't for you at all. I was directing that message at 'chellesterfem'"

I stand corrected

Gimp

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By *aster of a mindCouple
over a year ago

York

I'm not sure I/we would ever just come out and ask the question with another couple who were not swingers. If anything, maybe creating the right atmosphere and situation to allow it to happen naturally. If i was single, I would definitely ensure the female was flirty enough and at the same time I would ensure her husband didn't feel I was all over her. Giving him lots of attention too (talking and eye contact type).

The most successful singlies on this site will tell you that they engage with both people, even though they only want to fuck one half of the couple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not sure I/we would ever just come out and ask the question with another couple who were not swingers. If anything, maybe creating the right atmosphere and situation to allow it to happen naturally. If i was single, I would definitely ensure the female was flirty enough and at the same time I would ensure her husband didn't feel I was all over her. Giving him lots of attention too (talking and eye contact type).

The most successful singlies on this site will tell you that they engage with both people, even though they only want to fuck one half of the couple."

That's actually a great response, thank you! Naturally, I'm pretty friendly with both people - but it's helpful explicitly hearing to well, just talk to both normally. Sounds simple enough... eh?!

Definitely all about the right atmosphere though. Wouldn't even consider it if it were not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless they were in our house talking very candidly about the fact that they'd been fantasising about group sex scenarios, we wouldn't...

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

"I did not specifically mean a 'random' person. This could be someone you've know for a while. No real boundaries on what I mean, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No need to come off with a rude tone.

Like I've said... somebody/some people you would like to play with, but you are not aware they're into swinging.

I've left it slightly ambiguous as you could meet these people in any walk of life. Through work, at a bar or pub... Really, however somebody has done it themselves. Not my job to refine the scope!"

Wasn't meant as a rude tone but if thats how you interpret it fine. Rude enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/14 22:26:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm aware the subject of this topic is a little ambiguous-sounding, so I'll explain!

As a couple, how do you approach someone/solicit a meet from somebody you may have met or know - but think they are not swingers? (Or they do not know that you yourself are!)

Just curious. Thanks!

You've got obsessive swingers syndrome which is just someone wishes and thinks everyone swings .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did not specifically mean a 'random' person. This could be someone you've know for a while. No real boundaries on what I mean, though.

Fuck me...you mean that if we get out from behind this screen, we might ...meet people? Who knew? Blimey-it's a good job you came along...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I did not specifically mean a 'random' person. This could be someone you've know for a while. No real boundaries on what I mean, though.

It isn't a solely web based thing, how do you imagine swingers got together before the net? The common factor was mutual recognition so it was done via contact magazines, small ads and clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her

The 'menage a trois' pub in Brighton is a good place to go

"
really

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm quite reserved and less pro-active to be honest. I'm not considering doing this myself - just want to educate myself further.

@Janey That was my personal opinion of the lifestyle, not a definitive fact. I wasn't really challenging anyone else's views - just fleshing out the fact that I did not want to restrain anything to -just- randomers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm aware the subject of this topic is a little ambiguous-sounding, so I'll explain!

As a couple, how do you approach someone/solicit a meet from somebody you may have met or know - but think they are not swingers? (Or they do not know that you yourself are!)

Just curious. Thanks!

Sounds like an academic question. You're not a student at Sydney University, are you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like an academic question. You're not a student at Sydney University, are you?

Haha, brilliant! Student, yes - Sydney... definitely not. Another 'S' though! Don't think my 16-25 railcard would cover those zones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our experience it don't go to well... Asked a long term friend if would like to have some fun at first was all up for it then slowly started being shitty towards us and then cut contact completely!!

And before anyone says, the person we asked had made hints of a sexual nature.. So we didn't just randomly say "hey let's fuck!"

Lesson learnt

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Just be straight up. Most people think I'm slightly mad though. Which I am but thats a slightly separate issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wave some pampas grass at them and see their reaction

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

"Wave some pampas grass at them and see their reaction

I hadn't a clue as to what you were on about so searched the term & saw a Telegraph article. Hilarious! I never knew about that identifier

lol me too. how funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never approach anyone from outside of swinging for sex, this Iis why I use such sites so I don't have to bring swinging into my every day life, I wouldn't want anyone in my every day life knowing I do casual sex so wouldn't ask them, I have a reputation to uphold you know lol

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By *ieutenantMan
over a year ago

london

Risky and suicidal adventure. Don't let imagination blind your judgmental instinct. Stick to the web.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't in a swinging aspect and why would you when there are so many who swing here.

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I love being outrageous when I go out, I get into arguments with people etc, great fun. If someone is interested in me I warn them that I am a polyamorous bisexual swinger. They slag me off so much, I love bringing out the worst in people, all their hypocrisy and small-mindedness. Its quite dangerous sometimes but I have no fear anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/14 09:36:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bet if you went up to any man in a pub and said fancy a threesome, he would be game.

Not sure on a woman though

Her

The 'menage a trois' pub in Brighton is a good place to go

Where is this pub please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have frends who do that all the time go up to random guys and ask them if they would like to shag his wife only catch he wants to wach most men say yes . She ends up with a fanny full if come and hub rags her daft after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not really a question of how you approach and more of a question of should you approach.

We once had some really close friends that were aware of our lifestyle choice so we got talking to them about it and eventually took them to a club.

The female half of the couple really loved it but her partner pretty much had his ego destroyed and as a result they are no longer friends. That was our fault entirely, not everyone is cut out for this scene neither can many understand it.

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By *ncoreMan
over a year ago

poulton

We were lucky in getting a non swinger meet spontaneously and it was amazing. We had a house party and we had a female friend staying over. After everyone had left I turned around and the two girls were kissing each other. Before we knew it we were all three of us fucking in the bedroom having a great night. Still don't really know how it happened but it was great fun. We never spoke about it after and are still all best friends. Something very sexy though when on a night out as a big group of mates knowing you threespontaneously fucked and the rest of the group are non the wiser!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/14 13:12:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure as I just shag single women, well married ones as well lol

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