FabSwingers.com forum: Unread messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This topic has probably been done to a death before, but second time around on this site I am still baffled by the number of messages that never get read.

I could understand it if they got block deleted, we all know how busy you women are on this site...what I don't understand is that even though someone may be repeatedly online, they never read the message.

Pour tout commentaire?

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By *ouplelookingforadultfunCouple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

From personal experience, I have not read messages, and forgot to delete them.

You can see quite a bit before opening one, and if it says something like "Corr love to push my love sausage in your......"

I tend to not open.

And especially if like us, you have a code word on your profile, that you've asked people to put in the subject line so you know they've had the decency to read ALL of your profile, and they haven't!!!!

I just click the back button and don't akways delete straight away!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we're often already chatting to /at least one person/people already, and these chats can go on for days or even weeks on here before phone numbers are given out and/or meets arranged.

I changed my profile to reflect that I do ignore most messages, seriously had to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I currently have a inbox full of unread messages, I selective answer then when I have time I go through the rest. Interesting after only one day the amount that end up being repeated as a copy and paste or are from a UNLOS

Others I delete instant without opening just from the first words

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because we're often already chatting to /at least one person/people already, and these chats can go on for days or even weeks on here before phone numbers are given out and/or meets arranged.

I changed my profile to reflect that I do ignore most messages, seriously had to."

I think I prefer a deletion - at least it's an interaction of some kind, even a bad kind

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting after only one day the amount that end up being repeated as a copy and paste or are from a UNLOS

UNLOS? Never seen this acronym.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

User no longer on the site it's a regularly used acronym on the forums to describe those that have removed or been removed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I prefer a deletion - at least it's an interaction of some kind, even a bad kind

Fair enough, sometimes my Internet connection is very slow and I don't have time to delete everything, but I do have some messages I have kept for two weeks and should have got round to sorting those out by now.

Another thing is that I do sometimes keep messages intending to reply then don't have time or feel I've left it too long already. So it could also almost be a good sign if your messages aren't deleted by others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I currently have a inbox full of unread messages, I selective answer then when I have time I go through the rest. Interesting after only one day the amount that end up being repeated as a copy and paste or are from a UNLOS

Others I delete instant without opening just from the first words "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/14 14:21:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes they disappear off the page. If I get too many that have done that I will eventually get round to deleting those I've read. In my case it's purely sloppy housekeeping!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just stay away from your Sent Messages folder OP. That way it won't bother you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This topic has probably been done to a death before, but second time around on this site I am still baffled by the number of messages that never get read.

Pour tout commentaire?"

TIME! yours and mine are one of hundreds of messages you cant expect people to spend all their time on here reading messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simplest answer is don't look at your sent mail box. Concentrate on the inbox instead....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at a profile before i open the message. If the profile doesn't appeal to me i just delete the message without reading. Also, there have been times when i haven't logged in for a couple of days and there's no way i'm going to read the 150+ messages i've received so judgin solely on the profile pic on the message, i delete those that don't look good. Sorry but i don't have the time sometimes!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Plus I always look at someones profile first and if they have made no effort there I don't bother opening the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Others I delete instant without opening just from the first words "

This pretty much sums it up for me.

I often come online to look at the forums. If I start going through messages every time I'm online I'd do nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Another thing is that I do sometimes keep messages intending to reply then don't have time or feel I've left it too long already. So it could also almost be a good sign if your messages aren't deleted by others."

I always live in hope when a message isn't deleted - but then it kind of stays there forever...busy people, you women!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Simplest answer is don't look at your sent mail box. Concentrate on the inbox instead...."

What inbox - lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I look at a profile before i open the message. If the profile doesn't appeal to me i just delete the message without reading. Also, there have been times when i haven't logged in for a couple of days and there's no way i'm going to read the 150+ messages i've received so judgin solely on the profile pic on the message, i delete those that don't look good. Sorry but i don't have the time sometimes!"

My original point was that they don't get read - I perfectly understand why they would be deleted without being read, but just left there to gather dust???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My original point was that they don't get read - I perfectly understand why they would be deleted without being read, but just left there to gather dust???"

I'll leave a message unread if 1. I can't be bothered answering right away (guys tend to keep sending messages if they see i've read the message but not replied and that just pisses me off) or 2. if as i said before, i have too many messagess to read and don't have the time to open them. Believe it or not, we have lives, jobs, kids, friends and other things to do other than read your mail.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Believe it or not, we have lives, jobs, kids, friends and other things to do other than read your mail."

Good Lord!

I never realised!

I thought you were just handing around to suck my dick in a spare moment - lol

That should get me flamed!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Zero, but some I've regretted reading and replying to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Zero, but some I've regretted reading and replying to.

Haven't we all?

That's why there is a block button, I suppose.

I'm just an old-fashioned courteous guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My original point was that they don't get read - I perfectly understand why they would be deleted without being read, but just left there to gather dust???"

On my part its..

1..Pure laziness

2..Sometimes I don't need to open a message to see what it says

3..Its from someone 6 million light years away

4..The profile doesn't appeal to me

5..Nothing on their profile matches what I want

6..They disappear off the page into cyber space until I retrieve them

7..Sometimes I don't want to go into my inbox at all on here

8..I may have mentioned im lazy but its nothing personal,its not you its me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On my part its..

1..Pure laziness

That's my point - surely it is easier to hit the bulk delete option?

I just don't understand why you'd leave messages lying around for no reason.

Maybe it's a male thing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my part its..

1..Pure laziness

That's my point - surely it is easier to hit the bulk delete option?

I just don't understand why you'd leave messages lying around for no reason.

Maybe it's a male thing..."

I do a mass delete everynow and then or I sit and reply to them all everynow and then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my part its..

1..Pure laziness

That's my point - surely it is easier to hit the bulk delete option?

I just don't understand why you'd leave messages lying around for no reason.

Maybe it's a male thing..."

No because I might not want to delete everything and can't be arsed to sort out the junk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the message is part of a thread they can read it by opening one of the other messages in that thread including their own reply. Is sneaky way to read something without the sender knowing. I believe you can also unread messages so they looked whilst you weren't online and then marked as unread just to piss you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really bad at managing my inbox & i'm the 1st to admit it. I start off with good intentions to read/reply/delete & will either start chatting to someone or get distracted by the forums & before you know it a few more have landed in yer box!

Unfortunately, it then becomes an admin like chore which I don't want to deal with.....

I'm going to experiment now and see how many I can through by 5pm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm really bad at managing my inbox & i'm the 1st to admit it. I start off with good intentions to read/reply/delete & will either start chatting to someone or get distracted by the forums & before you know it a few more have landed in yer box!

Unfortunately, it then becomes an admin like chore which I don't want to deal with.....

I'm going to experiment now and see how many I can through by 5pm!"

Okay I read, replied / deleted 16 messages in about 15 minutes (with a few distractions) received 10........so cleared 6!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So basically, we are talking sheer laziness.

What a shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So basically, we are talking sheer laziness.

What a shame."

Yep. Laziness and lack of time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So basically, we are talking sheer laziness.

What a shame."

Well some of it is laziness for sure, speaking purely for myself of course.

But also look at the ratio I posted above, you can see that side of the equation as well though can't you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But also look at the ratio I posted above, you can see that side of the equation as well though can't you?

Now you want me to be reasonable about it?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Others I delete instant without opening just from the first words "

This!

Plus like many we view a profile before reading a message. Nothing that interests/attracts us and it's a delete without being read.

There's no point putting effort into a message if there's no effort been put into a profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In not sure what's better?

Having very few messages but easy to maintain (and, on the whole very little crap to have to put up with or filter out) or lots of messages but always having to sieve the wheat from the chaff..

On one hand it'd be great to have the volume of messages the ladies have, on the other we don't get anywhere the crap they have to put up with ...???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's no point putting effort into a message if there's no effort been put into a profile.

I hate to keep repeating myself but I am not talking about deletions - I am talking about unread messages that stay there forever.

PLEASE, delete - it is far better than being unread.

As to profiles, it seems pure random whether a bloke meets from a well-written profile with pics or just has something like "Got a cock, like to fuck women" on it without any pics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop looking at your sent box! Take no response as no interest. It isn't hard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop looking at your sent box! Take no response as no interest. It isn't hard"

Yes it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I read messages and then mark them unread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes I read messages and then mark them unread

Why?

Shame I'm too old, great legs!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"There's no point putting effort into a message if there's no effort been put into a profile.

I hate to keep repeating myself but I am not talking about deletions - I am talking about unread messages that stay there forever.

PLEASE, delete - it is far better than being unread.

As to profiles, it seems pure random whether a bloke meets from a well-written profile with pics or just has something like "Got a cock, like to fuck women" on it without any pics!"

You are wrong massively in my opinion. If a guy has a crap profile then its an instant no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just delete your message after you have sent it,

Stops you thinking have they read it or are they just lazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to deal with messages daily otherwise it is a ball ache going through them and I would just block delete, you never know there could be a gem hiding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Others I delete instant without opening just from the first words "

Just make sure I'm high on your to do list.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are wrong massively in my opinion. If a guy has a crap profile then its an instant no. "

For you, maybe.

Take a random sample. Either they are fake profiles with fake veris or some of the most basic male profiles get the most meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes I read messages and then mark them unread

Surely they would still show as read in the senders view though? Or maybe not, I didn't even know you mark them as unread again to be honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes I read messages and then mark them unread

Surely they would still show as read in the senders view though? Or maybe not, I didn't even know you mark them as unread again to be honest! "

Blimey there's a great big 'mark as unread' button that I'd never even noticed before! Learn something new every day

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"There's no point putting effort into a message if there's no effort been put into a profile.

I hate to keep repeating myself but I am not talking about deletions - I am talking about unread messages that stay there forever.

PLEASE, delete - it is far better than being unread.

As to profiles, it seems pure random whether a bloke meets from a well-written profile with pics or just has something like "Got a cock, like to fuck women" on it without any pics!"

Sorry - I posted before I got further down.

To add.

Yesterday we had 17 unread messages ranging from an hour old to two weeks!

Why?

The two week old message was from someone who hadn't logged on since sending it - no rush there!

Three others were a week old and now UNLOS - since deleted.

The others? We aren't always logged on/viewing at the same time. I arse around in the forums a lot - Fox doesn't. We are clear on our profile that when we're able/looking to meet we will post a 'meet' request/flag - if not then there's no point asking! Most of the other messages were titled 'looking to meet?/interested in getting together?' - hence they were left to rot!

We now have 14, all from today. Some will be read. Some may be deleted before being read. Some may be left to rot.

It's our inbox. If people aren't happy with how we manage it they can always not message, wait patiently for a reply - or if they really want to be blocked? Message again or continually view our profile several times a day to see if we're online and ponder why we've not rushed to reply!

Simples!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Interesting I dint get that many mails and if I do its normally after a club or when I have been in chat.

Though on Sunday morning I did get a mail unfortunately I had fallen asleep missed and potentially missed out on some fun because of it blush school boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes I read messages and then mark them unread

Surely they would still show as read in the senders view though? Or maybe not, I didn't even know you mark them as unread again to be honest!

Blimey there's a great big 'mark as unread' button that I'd never even noticed before! Learn something new every day

I'm full of useless information me

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I get a message, I click on their profile and read it first. If its crap I leave deleting the message for a few hours so I don't get a string of 'why did you delete my message?' messages.

Strongly recommend people clear their sent boxes regularly so you don't wonder about those sent messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then there are those that message as soon as I come online... Every single time.... I sometimes leave them for hours before reading..if I read them at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then there are those that message as soon as I come online... Every single time.... I sometimes leave them for hours before reading..if I read them at all"

This too. And OP, if it bothers you that much, which it clearly does, maybe you should delete your sent messages instantly? Complaining about it on here isn't doing you any favours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This too. And OP, if it bothers you that much, which it clearly does, maybe you should delete your sent messages instantly? Complaining about it on here isn't doing you any favours."

I wasn't aware that I was complaining.

I asked a simple question and some people (like you, it would seem) use that as an opportunity to try and be clever.

Some things will never change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read messages, if I don't like them i mark it as unread and move to the next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My inbox sometimes moves to quickly, so unread messages will disappear below the fold. Don't want to delete conversations in case I'd like to refer back to them, so I never retrieve the unread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This topic has probably been done to a death before, but second time around on this site I am still baffled by the number of messages that never get read.

Pour tout commentaire?"

To some its junk mail and the same as what comes through your letterbox you don't always read it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trick is don't send messages and then all will be good

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I have 10 unread messages.

I'm usually here for the forums and if you reply the messages keep coming leaving no time to do what you want. Hello Miss, I know I'm not what you're looking for but type messages don't get read.

People should concentrate on their inboxes rather than their sent!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello Miss, I know I'm not what you're looking for but type messages don't get read."

Never sent one that anodyne in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I currently have 70 unread messages, ranging from 2 hours ago to 2 weeks ago. some I will reply too, but the majority are from guys who clearly haven't read any of my profile & assume that because I'm online I must be looking for a meet with them, then when you do reply you end up feeling pressured into a conversation that you know isn't going anywhere! & them constantly asking for a meet even though you have told them no. I think I can be lazy with my inbox at times too. But I put this down to the fact that if I sat down to reply, I'd be at it all night (no pun intended!) & It gets tedious sending the same reply to the same questions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I currently have 70 unread messages, ranging from 2 hours ago to 2 weeks ago. some I will reply too, but the majority are from guys who clearly haven't read any of my profile & assume that because I'm online I must be looking for a meet with them, then when you do reply you end up feeling pressured into a conversation that you know isn't going anywhere! & them constantly asking for a meet even though you have told them no. I think I can be lazy with my inbox at times too. But I put this down to the fact that if I sat down to reply, I'd be at it all night (no pun intended!) & It gets tedious sending the same reply to the same questions. "

I totally understand that - which is why I am puzzled that they are just not deleted. Surely to God that is easier that keep scrolling through unread messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand that - which is why I am puzzled that they are just not deleted. Surely to God that is easier that keep scrolling through unread messages. "

Why does it bother you so much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a thing called choice. We choose to reply or not. Its a free world but a lot of guys here think the same as you. No one is entitled to anything, if you dont get a reply, move on xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Why does it bother you so much?"

I think it's called common courtesy. Call me old fashioned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So basically, we are talking sheer laziness.

What a shame."

A shame for who?

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By *ustrousLoversCouple
over a year ago

Crosskeys

We've no issue with unread/unreplied messages especially if they're sent unsolicited what is our huge bug bear at the moment is when you're in a conversation and then it just stops dead.

You'll see that the message has been read and then nothing. We've often had this in the middle of arranging meets as well normally at the point we go to swap numbers.

We don't mind if you get cold feet or anything else we just like courtesy and a no thanks would be fine.

At the moment we've tried to arrange 6 meets and they've all failed. Think we'll just stick to going to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/10/14 09:15:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand that - which is why I am puzzled that they are just not deleted. Surely to God that is easier that keep scrolling through unread messages. "

Because sometimes I don't log on for a day or two & my inbox fills up, I prefer spend my free time to enjoy the site rather than sitting bored pressing delete over and over again, I don't always bulk delete as there are a few messages I will reply too in amongst the crap, There are no rules on here about messages, so why can't us Ladies leave them unread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is frustrating to have messages go unread but, its no worse than having them read & deleted.

I just shrug it off & carry on. I think there's a saying " whats for you, wont go past you".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is frustrating to have messages go unread but, its no worse than having them read & deleted.

I just shrug it off & carry on. I think there's a saying " whats for you, wont go past you".

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