FabSwingers.com forum: Ignoring messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do people not have the manner to simply acknowledge you and say no thanks? That is so bloody rude and it really gets on my nerves.

I take the time to write something relevent, maybe even a little humourous.

None of this cut and paste the same old stuff to loads of people.

I realise that I may not be everyones cup of tea, but how long does it take to type 'Thanks, LOL but no thanks'?

Its a bit like passing someone you vaguely know in the corridor at work. You go 'Hi' in a friendly manner, and they walk straight on by with a glassy stare on their face. It is just not normal.

'Be polite', my mum said 'even to the afflicted'

Rant over, and I welcome comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gunna sit with my coffee and watch this one with interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two sugers please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic has been bought up several times

Put the words no reply into the forum search box and you will find the answer to your question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you compare it to vaguely knowing someone in work?

The people you are emailing are complete strangers!

you choose to email someone they choose not to reply..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have ignored messages before, but only if they are rude, offensive or absolutely miles away from what I have posted.

Most I will reply 'thanks, but no thanks'

I see it as the developing rude britain that we are living in now.

As for my analogy, I aknowledge people in the street, even if I don't know them. You know eye-contact and a nod at the

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

maybe a hi.

It is the same in London, no-one talks to anyone - Why???

Are we all so scared of something, so insular?

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By *arlot ScarlettWoman
over a year ago

Bolton

I get about 2 messages per minute when I'm on line - I delete silly one liners but reply to all others. Had a nice chat with a guy from the other end of the country last night! I must admit to pasting 'sorry, but you're not what I'm looking for' usually but at least I reply! It isn't bad manners not to reply though, means they're not interested!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get about 2 messages per minute when I'm on line - I delete silly one liners but reply to all others. Had a nice chat with a guy from the other end of the country last night! I must admit to pasting 'sorry, but you're not what I'm looking for' usually but at least I reply! It isn't bad manners not to reply though, means they're not interested!"

Lol know what ya mean hun it scares me ta see Les single profile inbox 200 plus messages

I have also seen other single fems mail boxes with 500 plus messages

Now how the hell do you possibly answer all those lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have given up on all different types of first email.

If they like your profile your 25% of the way there, if they like your pics then 50%, if they like the chatting, then your up to 75%, only the meet for a 100%

Those who say they need interesting emails to be interested, but you have a crap profile, no pic or your the wrong shape or size then it's a 0% chance they will be interested.

All you want is for them to look at your profile, if they are interested, they will reply, if no reply, they are not interested.

Remember, many on here are looking for the dream, not the reality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must admit, several times I have thought it is rude not to reply when someone doesn't, but I have to admit when you get so many messages and after you have become numbed by the amount that ignore your requirements and chance it anyway I am not surprised that many go unanswered. Only thing I cannot understand is, once you have messaged backwards and forwards a number of times, and things sem to be going well, why are they then suddenly ignored, read and deleted. If you no longer want to talk or or have a problem, why not just say ? Having just written that last bit I guess some have their reasons so what the heck lol why worry. As people have said before, pick up, dust off and carry on !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have given up on all different types of first email.

If they like your profile your 25% of the way there, if they like your pics then 50%, if they like the chatting, then your up to 75%, only the meet for a 100%

Those who say they need interesting emails to be interested, but you have a crap profile, no pic or your the wrong shape or size then it's a 0% chance they will be interested.

All you want is for them to look at your profile, if they are interested, they will reply, if no reply, they are not interested.

Remember, many on here are looking for the dream, not the reality

I agree, some people's expectations are far to high but I suppose thats 'their choice'. It can also be about timing, I messaged a woman on here a few times without a reply, but one night she did and we met on the same night, it can be a fine line between perseverance and being to pushy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i chuck in 'mood' to this thread.

When i first joined, i had hundreds of messages and i spent hours and hours replying saying thank you for taking the time to message me, and then gave individual responses to hundreds!

Then you get a few silly ones, and then some idiots that obviously havent read your profile so you delete them, but when in an off mood, usually following silly messages, then i have just deleted some.

If that offended some people, then thats their right, same as is my right to get fed up of returning messages, to get further messages saying 'but', 'your loss' etc etc, so in my humble opinion mood can have an affect on how i respond.

Hope that makes some sort of sense???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if i get a message and they clearly haven't bothered to read my profile i don't respond no more as then i dont get grief!

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

"I have given up on all different types of first email.

If they like your profile your 25% of the way there, if they like your pics then 50%, if they like the chatting, then your up to 75%, only the meet for a 100%

Those who say they need interesting emails to be interested, but you have a crap profile, no pic or your the wrong shape or size then it's a 0% chance they will be interested.

All you want is for them to look at your profile, if they are interested, they will reply, if no reply, they are not interested.

Remember, many on here are looking for the dream, not the reality

I do so agree with your last paragraph!

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By *eppersCouple
over a year ago

telford

i do so agree with netdud, everyone groans and moans about other people on these forums,but a sinple no thanks is not hard to do, if you held a door open for a stranger and they walked through with out a by or leave you would feel annoyed as manners cost nothing, we always reply unless it's a one liner of fancy a shag or come to mine you all know the sort of thing or they clearly have not read profile.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

I dont reply to most mails...why...heres why..

I reply "thanks, but no thanks."

I then get another mail back asking "why."

I reply, "You are not my type"

I get ANOTHER mail back asking "why, this is a swingers site"

I reply "I dont fuck chunder pigs"

This seems to get the point across.

Now times that by 50+ messages per day and you now see why I dont reply....quite frankly I cant be fecking arsed!!!!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"maybe a hi.

It is the same in London, no-one talks to anyone - Why???

Are we all so scared of something, so insular?

If you believe that no-one talks to anyone in London then you are a misinformed fool........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only reply to people I am interested in, others i dont, mainly because when i first joined i used to reply to everyone then i would run out of messages. It says on my profile that if i do not reply then take it as a no thank you, so dont really see how replying saying no thank you would make any difference, if the person reads my profile they will know that no reply means no thanks, saves me a lot of effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/10 13:18:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were the recipient of the kind of volume of mail most girls / couples get, I think you'd also not want to spend time each day replying to each and every mail.

Everyone is trying to compare the situation to one offs, like holding a door open or saying hello to one person. It isn't, realise this.

It's like holding a door open for an hour. So saying hello to everyone on the highstreet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk o and say hi to most people I pass in the street, I hold doors open say "thank you" when another does so for me, but I still don't reply to all messages.

It's not being impolite, it's avoiding hassle. xxx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Why do people not have the manner to simply acknowledge you and say no thanks? That is so bloody rude and it really gets on my nerves.

I take the time to write something relevent, maybe even a little humourous.

None of this cut and paste the same old stuff to loads of people.

I realise that I may not be everyones cup of tea, but how long does it take to type 'Thanks, LOL but no thanks'?

Its a bit like passing someone you vaguely know in the corridor at work. You go 'Hi' in a friendly manner, and they walk straight on by with a glassy stare on their face. It is just not normal.

'Be polite', my mum said 'even to the afflicted'

Rant over, and I welcome comments."

Awwwwww diddums, that's a shame!

But not to worry at least your mum will will always be polite to you!

Why do people expect everyone to just reply to all unsolicited mail they receive? Do you reply to all the junk mail that is shoved through your letterbox? No! So why should people do it here?

It is not rude, it is their choice to reply to whoever they want to reply to!

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

Ok...in the last 3 hours I've had 12 new messages (not counting the ones from friends and people I'm already in contact with.

Now...if I spend a minute reading the message, then a few minutes having a look at the profile and pics, and then another minute writing a polite no thanks message.....thats five minutes per message...multiply that by 12.... and already it would take me an hour to be polite.

Somedays my inbox goes stupid...there can be 50 - 100 messages....now we're getting into the realms of needing hours to politely respond to people I have no desire to meet.

I like to meet....I like to read the forums, I like to go into the chatrooms occasionally.......and I also have a life outside of Fab.....I simply haven't got the time and as has been said by others....when I've tried to respond with a polite no thanks message I get abuse. This is supposed to be a fun part of my life...and I want to keep it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to Thursday!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, that's what I got from you!

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By *r-MissCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

As a couple we often ignore unsuitable messages and the just delete them a few days later.

Yesterday we did send a guy a message to say that we would not consider a meet as he was married and enjoyed bareback. The abusive message we got back from he was shocking. So if a guy is not suitable its often just easier to ignore it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have specific tastes: I never search profiles as I won't find what I'm looking for, I wait for people to contact me.

Being the kind, fluffy, wuffy, bunny I am, I thought, how can I save those lovely men the time in not contacting me if they're not what I'm looking for?!! I know, I'll put it in writing, and if they're a bit slow, I'll also add I wont reply to those that don't meet my criteria.

My profile must be void of text as still they send messages from Land's End to John O'Groats, from Doms to bi...all what I'm not looking for.

Do I reply and say "thank you for ignoring my profile and contacting me, but no thanks" after it's written on my profile that I wont?!!

Will I fuck!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"maybe a hi.

It is the same in London, no-one talks to anyone - Why???

Are we all so scared of something, so insular?

If you believe that no-one talks to anyone in London then you are a misinformed fool........"

I don't know why you have to ridicule people when you speak. Please try and have some respect for other users.

As for him being a misinformed fool, then I must be one too, as I lived in London for years and had experience of people not speaking, even the time of day.

Just because you had found things different doesn't make the rest of us fools or that we only have a view because we have read it somewhere...some of us KNOW things from experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

women on here get lots of messages,if there fun or im interested i reply if there not i reply no ta if there the can i fuck you kind i delete them .

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Why do people not have the manner to simply acknowledge you and say no thanks? That is so bloody rude and it really gets on my nerves.

I take the time to write something relevent, maybe even a little humourous.

None of this cut and paste the same old stuff to loads of people.

I realise that I may not be everyones cup of tea, but how long does it take to type 'Thanks, LOL but no thanks'?

Its a bit like passing someone you vaguely know in the corridor at work. You go 'Hi' in a friendly manner, and they walk straight on by with a glassy stare on their face. It is just not normal.

'Be polite', my mum said 'even to the afflicted'

Rant over, and I welcome comments."

So! Do you relply to all the junk email you get at home? Do you reply to all those emails you get from those selling stuff to increase the size of your cock?

After you bought something from a web site and a couple of weeks later you get an email telling you about other bits they have, do you reply to them?

Of course you don't! So why should people reply to mail they haven't asked for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx"

Actually, that would have been brilliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx"

Yes !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are too far up our own arses to reply to this thread, please don't mail us it'll be deleted

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx"

lol maybe the next one who turns up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people not have the manner to simply acknowledge you and say no thanks? That is so bloody rude and it really gets on my nerves.

I take the time to write something relevent, maybe even a little humourous.

None of this cut and paste the same old stuff to loads of people.

I realise that I may not be everyones cup of tea, but how long does it take to type 'Thanks, LOL but no thanks'?

Its a bit like passing someone you vaguely know in the corridor at work. You go 'Hi' in a friendly manner, and they walk straight on by with a glassy stare on their face. It is just not normal.

'Be polite', my mum said 'even to the afflicted'

Rant over, and I welcome comments."

As a couple of other people have already said if i took time to reply to every mail i get i wouldnt have time to either look at someone who i actually want to meet with or wouldnt have free time to message back people who im already in contact with, plus time in the forums.

I was more curious about your phrase "be polite my mum said even to the afflicted" ?? Just what did you mean by that word "afflicted" ? is that someone who doesnt measure up to your aspirations or high brow requirements? Sorry but that word really winds me up and i take offence to it being used. Lois

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx

lol maybe the next one who turns up lol"

Definitely...with a forfeit for anyone who breaks ranks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have ignored messages before, but only if they are rude, offensive or absolutely miles away from what I have posted.

Most I will reply 'thanks, but no thanks'

I see it as the developing rude britain that we are living in now.

As for my analogy, I aknowledge people in the street, even if I don't know them. You know eye-contact and a nod at the"

I think you answered your own question.

Fair enough if they are rude but "miles away"...well someone miles away from you showing interest is hardly insulting and would,maybe,deserve that "polite no thanks" you mentioned.

However,if you are the one bloke on here that gets hundreds of messages perhaps you haven't the time.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Does no-one else think it would have been funny if no-one had replied in this thread .... ?

Kirsty

xxx xxx

lol maybe the next one who turns up lol

Definitely...with a forfeit for anyone who breaks ranks..."

Good idea, got any good forfeits?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Good idea, got any good forfeits?"

Depends who "earns" it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even funnier would have been for everyone in the forums to send him a message and see if he had the time to respond to everyone lol xxx Lois xxx

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I pity the poor bloke who is next to post a thread like this!

Actually...suddenly inundated with messages form all the ladies & couples on here?

What am I waiting for???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even funnier would have been for everyone in the forums to send him a message and see if he had the time to respond to everyone lol xxx Lois xxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of ground hog day going on here I reckon:

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/scotland/4272

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/scotland/18741

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/scotland/7287

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/3648

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/3800

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/introductions/22931

Thats just a few....

But I find it quite funny that if you type 'reply' into the search box, 50% of those users that originated these kind of messages are no longer on the site. The remaining 99.9% are men, lol

(PS....who wants a bet on how long it will be before another one of threads turns up? I say before the weeks out, lol)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually I'll tell you what I find rude....

people who first post on the forum, where they get one great chance to use it to make a great impression, actually use that oppotunity to whinge to people on one part of the site about another part of the site which they may or may not use...

such a wasted chance.......

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