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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello there fabbers.

Having been arounds the forums for many years and seeing so many disgruntled posts from guys and couples, about not being able to get meets on fab I wondered what is the real underlying issue and have drawn a conclusion that I though I would throw at you all.

The internet is such a wonderful thing and it has aided the scene somewhat, however it has spawned a bit of a monster I call the internet swinger. Often these people believe that just being here should be enough for nsa sex and that everything will happen purely because they are here.

When they first join there may be a bit of interest, after all they are fresh meat but that dosent last long, then after a couple of months they have exhausted local interest either through them rejecting others or others rejecting them. They then sit and wait for the next new local member to pounce on or maybe a message from some passing trade. At this point that's where the negativity starts maybe into self doubt this is followed by randomly messaging one liners in the hope someone will reply. This is then often followed by the standard ranty post about the site or scene being rubbish.

The internet is just a small part of the scene though merely a tool on the journey, the social part of the scene is key and it's actually at the root of the scene socials parties and clubs are great places to meet new people and your not constrained by filters and restrictions, it falls back purely on you and your personality.

I'm not sure about other people's thoughts and maybe I'm talking out of my ass but there is more to swinging than the internet and fab (wonderful as it is)

You will not get laid hiding behind a keyboard.

Open fire, all weapons!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol "

My point exactly you used that word "here". What about out there in the real world?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very well put fab is only part of our swinging experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol "

Women could indeed have sex everday if they wanted to fuck any old cock that sends a message,they don't really find any old cock attractive though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol

My point exactly you used that word "here". What about out there in the real world?"
YEs and outthere I would say even more don't you think?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol

My point exactly you used that word "here". What about out there in the real world?"

The odds could be more than that, an event we are attending this weekend has 280 odd on the guest list of which 13 are single ladies, but out there in the real world it's you and your personality not an internet advert. Which do you think is better your personality or your profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol

Women could indeed have sex everday if they wanted to fuck any old cock that sends a message,they don't really find any old cock attractive though"
Good point as well as they need to fancy the cock as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree with this. It is so easy to dismiss somebody or to misunderstand written text and pass a quick judgement and jump to conclusions. Meeting a person in the flesh can shatter any illusions of what you decided they were like in your head. I'm not dissing fab don't get me wrong it is a great tool and people use it in the way it suits them best including us which is fine but as with everything there are pros and cons. I'm a happy fabber but completely see your point. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know but to sum it up women can have sex everyday as the ratio is about 100 men to 1 woman here lol

My point exactly you used that word "here". What about out there in the real world?

The odds could be more than that, an event we are attending this weekend has 280 odd on the guest list of which 13 are single ladies, but out there in the real world it's you and your personality not an internet advert. Which do you think is better your personality or your profile?"
I recon as well the odds are higher. I think my profile is better but for my body its the 6pack

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By *iceduoCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

its about attitude and effort, the net is just a tool, a poor workman blames his tools for his failings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is an aid to swinging,its a laugh and its a place to showcase who you are,sometimes its a hinderance,I can go to any club,party or event and meet lots of people that way too but then if I want something ill go and find it,I won't expect it to come to me

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's true, I use the forums a lot but also attend socials and you can make more of an impact in a face to face meeting than you can online. Friends of friends etc....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All good comments, I have personally found some really good friends through here and also blown it big time with an ill timed second message. Also had a mixed bag in clubs.

It is what you make it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is only a small part of swinging to us. In fact we very rarely pro-actively seek people on here though we do keep an eye on local new members that's about it. And even then we tend to hotlist them before we message them. The site to us is about keeping in touch with people and seeing what is going on such as club nights and socials.

We primarily rely on clubs and munches/socials to meet people, I'm not saying it's the only way or the right way but there seems to be a hell of a lot less angst this way.

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"Fab is only a small part of swinging to us. In fact we very rarely pro-actively seek people on here though we do keep an eye on local new members that's about it. And even then we tend to hotlist them before we message them. The site to us is about keeping in touch with people and seeing what is going on such as club nights and socials.

We primarily rely on clubs and munches/socials to meet people, I'm not saying it's the only way or the right way but there seems to be a hell of a lot less angst this way.

"
yeap similar to us.. Clubs and socials open so many doors. There is a big o world if swinging out there and fab is just another section of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though to put another perspective on it, when I was single I never went to clubs or socials and relied on this and another site for meets and did well enough. Decent photos, decent profile, realistic expectations, honesty about what I was looking for, flexibility and an ability to accomodate were enough to make it work for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have to add we are not knocking fab at all its a fantastic site, we are just saying it's not the be all and end all.

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"Hello there fabbers.

Having been arounds the forums for many years and seeing so many disgruntled posts from guys and couples, about not being able to get meets on fab I wondered what is the real underlying issue and have drawn a conclusion that I though I would throw at you all.

The internet is such a wonderful thing and it has aided the scene somewhat, however it has spawned a bit of a monster I call the internet swinger. Often these people believe that just being here should be enough for nsa sex and that everything will happen purely because they are here.

When they first join there may be a bit of interest, after all they are fresh meat but that dosent last long, then after a couple of months they have exhausted local interest either through them rejecting others or others rejecting them. They then sit and wait for the next new local member to pounce on or maybe a message from some passing trade. At this point that's where the negativity starts maybe into self doubt this is followed by randomly messaging one liners in the hope someone will reply. This is then often followed by the standard ranty post about the site or scene being rubbish.

The internet is just a small part of the scene though merely a tool on the journey, the social part of the scene is key and it's actually at the root of the scene socials parties and clubs are great places to meet new people and your not constrained by filters and restrictions, it falls back purely on you and your personality.

I'm not sure about other people's thoughts and maybe I'm talking out of my ass but there is more to swinging than the internet and fab (wonderful as it is)

You will not get laid hiding behind a keyboard.

Open fire, all weapons! "
agree and moaning is not something you will hear from us! Much more out there than just fab meets .... Easy when effort put in! Plenty doors to be opened, but only if people prepared to walk thro!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"It's true, I use the forums a lot but also attend socials and you can make more of an impact in a face to face meeting than you can online. Friends of friends etc...."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's true, I use the forums a lot but also attend socials and you can make more of an impact in a face to face meeting than you can online. Friends of friends etc.... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have to add we are not knocking fab at all its a fantastic site, we are just saying it's not the be all and end all. "

I love Fab for lots of reasons.

We just tend to use it when we are thinking of a party or something specific. Most of the time we just go out in real life and meet people at clubs and parties. Fab is great for researching places to go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have to add we are not knocking fab at all its a fantastic site, we are just saying it's not the be all and end all.

I love Fab for lots of reasons.

We just tend to use it when we are thinking of a party or something specific. Most of the time we just go out in real life and meet people at clubs and parties. Fab is great for researching places to go. "

Yes there are a few places we wouldn't have been if we hadn't seen it here.

Lets not forget the sound advise in the forums.

I feel a what has fab ever done for us forum posting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do it all on Facebook!!!

No not really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came on here years ago with no expectations and I still have no expectations

life is what you make it, its not going to sit and wait

but no this isnt my only outlet clubs socials munches

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I came on here years ago with no expectations and I still have no expectations

life is what you make it, its not going to sit and wait

but no this isnt my only outlet clubs socials munches

"

Oooh munches, we don't seem to have any socials/munchies available locally, May I ask which one you attend?

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I can't be bothered with the club scene so find FAB great for meeting others, organising things etc. I've met some great and fascinating people some of whom I meet up with socially. I enjoy the FAB socials, I sadly haven't noticed anything happening around Manchester lately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally think sites sometimes work better for single people, clubs and socials may be better for couples. If you're a single person and you don't happen to be friends with any swingers (that you know of), how would you know where and when a social was happening? Or how to get involved? Would you have the balls to turn up to a club totally on your own when you weren't going to know a soul there? That's where sites like this come into play through providing a route to the real life world.

Totally agree that the internet is just a tool, not the be-all and end-all, and personality and effort are the most important, but I think it's different for couples where you have each other for support.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We find so many people on here are time wasters,we have only used site to find clubs and party meets,or guys trying to contact wife alone, even when we do solo meets,we prefer to meet people at club first or through previous meets with couples,I think site is useful for those to live out their fantasy,we will be leaving site soon as think we have found our favorite club,and have enough contacts now for fun

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

interesting....

I think the thing for me is that fab is not the entirity of my swinging existance....

I use to more to network than to meet... it is merely but a stepping stone... meet people at socials or at clubs... and then it opens up more and more avenues....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally think sites sometimes work better for single people, clubs and socials may be better for couples. If you're a single person and you don't happen to be friends with any swingers (that you know of), how would you know where and when a social was happening? Or how to get involved? Would you have the balls to turn up to a club totally on your own when you weren't going to know a soul there? That's where sites like this come into play through providing a route to the real life world.

Totally agree that the internet is just a tool, not the be-all and end-all, and personality and effort are the most important, but I think it's different for couples where you have each other for support. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I guess that is one point of view but not in my single day experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally think sites sometimes work better for single people, clubs and socials may be better for couples. If you're a single person and you don't happen to be friends with any swingers (that you know of), how would you know where and when a social was happening? Or how to get involved? Would you have the balls to turn up to a club totally on your own when you weren't going to know a soul there? That's where sites like this come into play through providing a route to the real life world.

Totally agree that the internet is just a tool, not the be-all and end-all, and personality and effort are the most important, but I think it's different for couples where you have each other for support. "

Well put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess that is one point of view but not in my single day experience."

Fair enough, I can only really speak for myself.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Personally think sites sometimes work better for single people, clubs and socials may be better for couples. If you're a single person and you don't happen to be friends with any swingers (that you know of), how would you know where and when a social was happening? Or how to get involved? Would you have the balls to turn up to a club totally on your own when you weren't going to know a soul there? That's where sites like this come into play through providing a route to the real life world.

Totally agree that the internet is just a tool, not the be-all and end-all, and personality and effort are the most important, but I think it's different for couples where you have each other for support.

Well put "

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Though to put another perspective on it, when I was single I never went to clubs or socials and relied on this and another site for meets and did well enough. Decent photos, decent profile, realistic expectations, honesty about what I was looking for, flexibility and an ability to accomodate were enough to make it work for me."

This

We have tried clubs and large parties are they are not for us. We are far more comfortable in smaller groups so like private 1-2-1 meets or small private parties. Have been using websites for around 10 years and had plenty of great meets so works for us.

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